Author Topic: Weird News  (Read 560404 times)

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Online RVR II

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5130 on: July 20, 2017, 05:32:56 AM »
 :D :D :D
 :clap: :clap:


Offline Edward J Grug III

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FINE


Online RVR II

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Offline Pak-Man

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5134 on: August 03, 2017, 03:16:13 PM »
I'm reading the title of the link, and I almost DON'T want to click it, because if I learn what these phrases have to do with each other, it won't be as magical.


Online RVR II

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5135 on: August 03, 2017, 03:20:31 PM »
I'm reading the title of the link, and I almost DON'T want to click it, because if I learn what these phrases have to do with each other, it won't be as magical.
Just read it like Enis or Rosco and you'll LOL!! :D :D


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5136 on: August 03, 2017, 03:37:26 PM »



Online RVR II

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5137 on: August 05, 2017, 08:01:41 AM »
Quote
    Sheriff Scott Berry announces that on Monday, August 21, at about the time your kids are riding home from school on the bus that there will be a solar eclipse of the sun as celestial forces no one understands will blot out the sun. It is very likely this is the end of life on this planet as we know it.

    As your Sheriff I expect each of you to begin panicking today. There is no need to wait til Sunday night to buy bread and milk. The shelves will be empty already as vast hordes descend on grocery stores. If you wait, the only thing left will be potted meat and knock off brand cereal with such names as "RaisinO's" and "CheeriBran"

    Don't look at the eclipse, unless of course you live in the backwoods of Tennessee. In that case no one will hear you scream as you stumble blindly into a moonshine still or a bear trap. Millions of Americans are blinded every week by staring directly into the sun, eclipse or not. Don't do it.

    Your sunglasses will not protect you from certain death if you look at the sun. However, for a mere $29.99 (plus $9.00 shipping and handling) you can order "stare directly at the sun wearing these" glasses from NASA and the Home Shopping Network.

    Pregnant women should smoke and drink liquor during the eclipse. This will prevent radioactive waves from making your ankles swell and being grouchy most of the time. Meanwhile, your other children will be on the school bus wondering why it got dark so early. An afternoon snack of potted meat will encourage then to ignore the end of the world as we know it.

    Leading scientists tell us that post eclipse the only two things they expect to survive are cockroaches and Facebook. Wait, is that one thing or two things????
http://www.wbtv.com/story/36064888/oconee-county-ga-sheriff-scott-berrys-facebook-post-pregnant-women-should-smoke-and-drink-liquor-during-eclipse?clienttype=generic&utm_content=buffer8413f&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer
 ::)
« Last Edit: August 05, 2017, 08:03:45 AM by RVR II »


Offline Darth Geek

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5138 on: August 05, 2017, 01:17:10 PM »
Quote
    Sheriff Scott Berry announces that on Monday, August 21, at about the time your kids are riding home from school on the bus that there will be a solar eclipse of the sun as celestial forces no one understands will blot out the sun. It is very likely this is the end of life on this planet as we know it.

    As your Sheriff I expect each of you to begin panicking today. There is no need to wait til Sunday night to buy bread and milk. The shelves will be empty already as vast hordes descend on grocery stores. If you wait, the only thing left will be potted meat and knock off brand cereal with such names as "RaisinO's" and "CheeriBran"

    Don't look at the eclipse, unless of course you live in the backwoods of Tennessee. In that case no one will hear you scream as you stumble blindly into a moonshine still or a bear trap. Millions of Americans are blinded every week by staring directly into the sun, eclipse or not. Don't do it.

    Your sunglasses will not protect you from certain death if you look at the sun. However, for a mere $29.99 (plus $9.00 shipping and handling) you can order "stare directly at the sun wearing these" glasses from NASA and the Home Shopping Network.

    Pregnant women should smoke and drink liquor during the eclipse. This will prevent radioactive waves from making your ankles swell and being grouchy most of the time. Meanwhile, your other children will be on the school bus wondering why it got dark so early. An afternoon snack of potted meat will encourage then to ignore the end of the world as we know it.

    Leading scientists tell us that post eclipse the only two things they expect to survive are cockroaches and Facebook. Wait, is that one thing or two things????
http://www.wbtv.com/story/36064888/oconee-county-ga-sheriff-scott-berrys-facebook-post-pregnant-women-should-smoke-and-drink-liquor-during-eclipse?clienttype=generic&utm_content=buffer8413f&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer
 ::)
The bit about buying the sunglasses reminds me of Count Floyd.



Online RVR II

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5139 on: August 28, 2017, 03:59:06 PM »


Offline Russoguru

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5140 on: August 28, 2017, 04:01:04 PM »
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttt the fffffffuuuuuuuu---????!!!?!  :o


Offline Edward J Grug III

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5141 on: September 08, 2017, 05:03:42 PM »
FINE


Offline Russoguru

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Re: Weird News
« Reply #5142 on: September 08, 2017, 06:21:25 PM »
Well, at least he left the kitchen neat and tidy. Not excusing what he did of course.