This isn't so much "weird news" as it is "really stupid news"
I just saw a report on an airport television about a study claiming that heavy metal may be detrimental to your health. Banging your head, according to the study, causes the loss of brain cells and could even lead to a concussion.
I imagine this report played during a concert. As it begins, the music stops, people stop moving, their chains stop swinging in the air and hang limp by their sides, a large sweaty man removes his leg from the smaller man beneath him and helps him stand up, and the singer spits out the head of the dove he had been chewing on. There is a collective gasp as brain damage is mentioned. The lead singer gurgles "dear god" as blood bubbles and rolls down his chin. The report ends, instruments fall to the ground with a crash, and every one orderly starts to file out the door.