Scam O'Clock

[RVR II]

A tax customer of mine that is awaiting an appointment to see the Social Security Administration just called me after receiving multiple calls claiming to be from the Social Security Administration trying to get their SSN and bank account information..
First thing I asked was "Did they sound like they had a foreign accent?" And they said yes.
I immediately told them it was a scam from India and not to give them any personal information to them under any circumstances. I even told them the next time they called to tell them you know this is a scam and that you reported their phone number(s) to the authorities and they should stop calling.
I feel like I did my good deed for the day

[Russoguru]

I got a scam call today of some jackass pretending to be from Apple. Anyway, I talked to this guy, and I asked "Does this have to do with my account ending in 6148???" and he said "Yes sir" and he asked "Do you know anybody in Russia or Mexico?" and I couldn't stop myself, I started laughing my ass off. He said "Why are you laughing sir?" and I said "It's just a funny question man."

So he says "Then take my cock in your mouth and suck it!" and I started laughing my ass off again, and he just hung up.

[RVR II]

HOW IS THE CANCER ILLNESS? RESPOND ONLY TO THIS EMAIL...

Your attention is needed.
I'm Trevor A. Reeve,Director,Monetary Affairs at Federal Reserve bank.
A man by the name James Hayes came to our office and reported that you're critically suffering from cancer now,He said that you gave him the power of attorney to claim your UN annual compensation fund worth $3.8million and offered us $200 as the fund's evaluated claiming charge but we need to attempt confirming from you and get a direct order before wiring the fund into his provided bank account details.

We wish you the best from your critical cancer illness,your urgent response is needed or we will go ahead and transfer the $3.8million into his bank account details if the cancer did not allow you to respond as Mr James Hayes earlier suggested.

Oh we got a psychic here ...

[Russoguru]

HOW IS THE CANCER ILLNESS? RESPOND ONLY TO THIS EMAIL...
We wish you the best from your critical cancer illness,your urgent response is needed or we will go ahead and transfer the $3.8million into his bank account details if the cancer did not allow you to respond as Mr James Hayes earlier suggested.

Oh we got a psychic here ...

That's fucking hysterical. I would reply with: Please sir please remit payment in form of cashier's check or money order to behind the hot water pipe, 303 75th avenue NE, Philadelphia, PA. Failure to do so immediately will result in automatic criminal prosecution under international usury laws.