What have we learned from ancient crystal aliens?

[Trumpysgirl]

I learned that a 1950s fridge will protect me from ungodly amounts of radiation.

I also learned the secret handshake by reading the spoilers, and can now infiltrate the secret club.

Yes, but you must wear the matching

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

rubber hand

on your foot, which is only distributed at said secret club.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I learned that the US Government was worried about the effects of massive radiation on a Slip N Slide in 1957....even though the Slip N Slide wasn't on the market until 1961.