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General Discussion => Movie Talk => Topic started by: bettertomorrowamy on April 13, 2008, 08:00:49 AM

Title: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on April 13, 2008, 08:00:49 AM
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/chabon.spider.pdf (http://www.mcsweeneys.net/chabon.spider.pdf)
            
            
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: ImOscardotcom on April 13, 2008, 08:16:57 AM
So it's an unused screenplay. And if it's by Michael Chabon, then it would have probably made a great movie.

A great movie. That never was.

Wonder if there's a thread for that sort of thing.... (http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,8484.0.html)

 ;)
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: Darth Geek on April 13, 2008, 08:24:46 AM
Why would be interested in an unused script for a movie that turned out to be GOOD? I would be much more interested if it was an unused script for Spiderman 3, that actually made sense and wasn't jam packed with crap.
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on April 13, 2008, 08:27:56 AM
So it's an unused screenplay. And if it's by Michael Chabon, then it would have probably made a great movie.

A great movie. That never was.

Wonder if there's a thread for that sort of thing.... (http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,8484.0.html)

 ;)

How can I put it in that thread until I know it is GREAT?  You'll have to read the whole screenplay and tell us.
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: ImOscardotcom on April 13, 2008, 09:14:17 AM
So it's an unused screenplay. And if it's by Michael Chabon, then it would have probably made a great movie.

A great movie. That never was.

Wonder if there's a thread for that sort of thing.... (http://forum.rifftrax.com/index.php/topic,8484.0.html)

 ;)

How can I put it in that thread until I know it is GREAT?  You'll have to read the whole screenplay and tell us.

Point taken.

It is monstrous, isn't it? A screenplay numbering 253 pages means a 4 hours and 13 minute movie, right? Jesus.
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: bratpop on April 14, 2008, 08:07:45 AM
It is monstrous, isn't it? A screenplay numbering 253 pages means a 4 hours and 13 minute movie, right? Jesus.
Uh no, it would be a 253 minute movie.

Anyway, the file isn't available anymore. It must have been so great that it created a blackhole of greatness and swallowed itself.
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: Chaos on April 14, 2008, 08:14:15 AM
It is monstrous, isn't it? A screenplay numbering 253 pages means a 4 hours and 13 minute movie, right? Jesus.
Uh no, it would be a 253 minute movie.

Anyway, the file isn't available anymore. It must have been so great that it created a blackhole of greatness and swallowed itself.

You're not very good at math, are you? ;)
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: ImOscardotcom on April 14, 2008, 08:18:24 AM
It is monstrous, isn't it? A screenplay numbering 253 pages means a 4 hours and 13 minute movie, right? Jesus.
Uh no, it would be a 253 minute movie.

Anyway, the file isn't available anymore. It must have been so great that it created a blackhole of greatness and swallowed itself.

You're not very good at math, are you? ;)

Juuuust beat me to it. :)
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on April 14, 2008, 10:01:29 AM
If anybody wants to read it.  I downloaded it.  I can send it to you (Bratpop).
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: bratpop on April 14, 2008, 10:52:12 AM
Sorry, yes. My mind wouldn't acknowledge the idea of a 253-page script and instead I saw "2:53" as in "2hrs 53min". I thought he was thinking it was 2 minutes per page or something. I'm not that bad at math.

I wonder why they rejected it? *sarcasm!*

No, I don't want to read it. The terrible opening narration was bad enough. I HATE that aspect of the movies. No, it doesn't make up for the lack of Spider-Man quipping. It's not even Spidey's narration, it's Peter's. It's tacky enough in any movie (usually a sign of bad writing) but they managed to make it even worse. "Who am I? I'm Spider-Man!" Well DUH, Captain Obvious!
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 16, 2008, 02:20:24 PM
First of all, Spider-Man and Peter Parker are the same guy.  Just so you know.

Also, I like the fact that you added *sarcasm!*  Sometimes sarcasm can be lost in the written word, so it was nice that you could clear things up.  However, I especially like the exclamation mark, which make me think that you're saying something that then suddenly yell "sarcasm!"

It is most fun to apply this to real life:

"Honey, did you get the groceries?"
"Of course I did."
"Oh, then did you remember to pick up--"
"Sarcasm!"
"...what?"
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: mike5150 on April 16, 2008, 03:28:14 PM
First of all, Spider-Man and Peter Parker are the same guy.  Just so you know.

Also, I like the fact that you added *sarcasm!*  Sometimes sarcasm can be lost in the written word, so it was nice that you could clear things up.  However, I especially like the exclamation mark, which make me think that you're saying something that then suddenly yell "sarcasm!"

It is most fun to apply this to real life:

"Honey, did you get the groceries?"
"Of course I did."
"Oh, then did you remember to pick up--"
"Sarcasm!""...what?"

sarcasm?
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: Fortis on April 16, 2008, 03:51:51 PM
bah!


that is my contribution to this topic...thank you and goodnight
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: bratpop on April 16, 2008, 10:07:42 PM
I'm saying, you don't hear the narration going, "Yeah. That's me. That dork there. What a pathetic loser. Can't even afford Neutrogena. Seems like the biggest weiner in the world, right? Well if somebody told you my life was a sad little tale; if somebody said I was just a whimpy piece of crap, not a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting laid... they forgot to mention I'm SPIDER-MAN and I pound supermodel tail every night. Nuff said!"
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: Fuzzy Necromancer on April 17, 2008, 05:45:20 PM
I didn't realize spider man was such an embittered dickweed. o.o
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 18, 2008, 03:38:49 PM
I'm saying, you don't hear the narration going, "Yeah. That's me. That dork there. What a pathetic loser. Can't even afford Neutrogena. Seems like the biggest weiner in the world, right? Well if somebody told you my life was a sad little tale; if somebody said I was just a whimpy piece of crap, not a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting laid... they forgot to mention I'm SPIDER-MAN and I pound supermodel tail every night. Nuff said!"

Umm... That's true.  But the narrator doesn't say "Hats are pretty" either.  In fact, I'm really, really missing your point here based on what you've written.  That doesn't change the fact that they're the same guy.  Also, he's not married to a super-model in the movie.  Come to think of it, he's actually not married to a super-model in the comics any more.  And never was.

Thank you, SATAN!

(http://image.comicvine.com/uploads/item/3000/2635/11048-mephisto_400.jpg)
Title: Re: Unused Screenplay for Spiderman 2
Post by: Gaseous Snake on April 18, 2008, 03:51:49 PM
Hmm... My elderly aunt who is likely to die of other complications next week is about to die right now! Who can I turn to for help? Ah, I know, the dark Lord Mephisto. Because we all know how well it turned out for Johnny Blaze and his father. Good thinking, Pete!