RiffTrax Forum

RiffTrax Discussion => Shorts 2007 - 2008 => Safety - Harm Hides at Home => Topic started by: torgosPizza on March 28, 2008, 02:38:08 PM

Title: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: torgosPizza on March 28, 2008, 02:38:08 PM
(http://shop.rifftrax.com/files/imagecache/product/files/Safety_0.jpg)

Your home is crawling with hazards! You are not safe! EVERYTHING WILL KILL YOU! In fact, never mind, because you're already dead; killed by your stupid house. That, at least, is the heartwarming message of the short Safety: Harm Hides at Home. "But RiffTrax," you say, "many shorts have already exposed the obvious truth that my home is a deadly, sinister trap, ready to spring at any moment. What's so great about this one?" Aha! Do other shorts feature the groovy safety dominatrix Guardiana? Well, one other one does, but then so does this one!

So buy it and laugh* along with Mike, Kevin and Bill.

*A thin, strangled laugh designed to cover up your growing panic as you realize your house is trying to murder you.

http://shop.rifftrax.com/ondemand/safety-harm-hides-home

Sample is on the product page, YouTube-ified version coming soon.
Title: Re: Now available!
Post by: Scott M Davis on March 28, 2008, 02:39:27 PM
"Sounds like The Lollipop Guild Joined the Federation"

Hilarious! I love these shorts!
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Fortis on March 28, 2008, 02:45:11 PM
Awesome...this email came just when I thought I was going to explode from stress at work...I was happy again ;D

Huzzah's and Accolades abound!
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: torgosPizza on March 28, 2008, 02:48:59 PM
Sample:
Whoops, still processing I guess. Will put it back up in a few minutes.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Scott M Davis on March 28, 2008, 02:51:05 PM
thanks torgo.

Finally finished watching it. My god.. this is some weird ass short. Aliens? Guardina? The 3 Finger Salute?!?!

 :clap:

well done, Rifftrax, well done.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Jason Martian on March 28, 2008, 02:59:06 PM
Yum yum Paint Flakes!   ;)
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Gaseous Snake on March 28, 2008, 03:01:01 PM
A new short to start a new Shorts CD-R. Great!
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: PlayMSTie on March 28, 2008, 03:48:39 PM
Ah, just what I need on a Friday night, a new riffed short! Thank you, kind sirs!
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Indomitus on March 28, 2008, 04:55:38 PM
Yaaaaaaaaaayy!!  (gets mauled by refrigerator)
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Trekker4747 on March 28, 2008, 06:13:55 PM
Safety woman is hot!
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Jbluez on March 28, 2008, 06:32:26 PM
Um, what?  Driving on a road and UFOs?  Is this really the safety video?
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: henrickd on March 28, 2008, 06:43:26 PM
I forgot how cool we all were in the 70s.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: torgosPizza on March 28, 2008, 06:45:32 PM
Um, what?  Driving on a road and UFOs?  Is this really the safety video?


Yup! The actual safety portion doesn't appear until a little further on.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: doggans on March 28, 2008, 06:49:15 PM
Heh, it was funny watching this so soon after Josh Way's version. :P Some similar riffs, but mostly handled differently enough to still be funny.

LOVED the Art Vandelay reference.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: henrickd on March 28, 2008, 06:54:12 PM
Wasn't Safety Woman in "The Touch of Satan"?
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: PlayMSTie on March 28, 2008, 09:01:53 PM
Um, what?  Driving on a road and UFOs?  Is this really the safety video?


My thoughts exactly! I kept looking at the title to make sure I'd got the right short.  :D
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Lemming Howard on March 28, 2008, 10:28:03 PM
Um, what?  Driving on a road and UFOs?  Is this really the safety video?




Someone thought Safety Woman would be more believable if first an architect encounters a UFO on a lonely stretch of road so that the nightmare can begin.  Just like David Vincent in The Invaders.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Gaseous Snake on March 28, 2008, 10:47:39 PM
I've been trying to download this since five o' clock. I don't know what the deal is. It'll get up to 60% then it'll just stop each time.

Update: I hate this damned Zyxel router! I hate it! Hate it! Hate it! I can say that the router sucks but they won't do a thing about it!  :grr: :angry:
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Teaflax on March 29, 2008, 02:48:39 AM
DRM-free just as God and nature intended! Thank you, Rifftrax and rifferinos.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Sheik Yerbouti on March 29, 2008, 02:53:20 AM
Um, what?  Driving on a road and UFOs?  Is this really the safety video?




Someone thought Safety Woman would be more believable if first an architect encounters a UFO on a lonely stretch of road so that the nightmare can begin.  Just like David Vincent in The Invaders.

I love how they gave this one a plot to try and keep the kids interested.  Probably good that they gave her an origin and superpowers (sort of).  Otherwise, she'd just be some crossing guard showing up in kid's houses uninvited, wearing a weird-ass home made costume and lecturing them on safety.

And I have to agree, she was kind of hot.  I'd totally do Safety Woman or Guardiana or whatever the hell her name was.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on March 29, 2008, 03:28:48 AM
I too would feel "safe" in her arms snuggled against her bosom.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Sheik Yerbouti on March 29, 2008, 03:35:25 AM
Aha! Do other shorts feature the groovy safety dominatrix Guardiana? Well, one other one does, but then so does this one!


You weren't kidding, either!

Guardiana will return in... Safety: In Danger Out Of Doors

http://www.archive.org/details/safety_in_danger

I think we need a Riff sequel!
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Lemming Howard on March 29, 2008, 07:13:37 AM
I think I liked her best in the  crossing guard "uniform".  She looked like she was wearing her street clothes under the Guardiana costume.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: torgosPizza on March 29, 2008, 10:14:58 AM
I've been trying to download this since five o' clock. I don't know what the deal is. It'll get up to 60% then it'll just stop each time.

Update: I hate this damned Zyxel router! I hate it! Hate it! Hate it! I can say that the router sucks but they won't do a thing about it!  :grr: :angry:

If you can't get the file let me know.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Gaseous Snake on March 29, 2008, 11:53:58 AM
I've been trying to download this since five o' clock. I don't know what the deal is. It'll get up to 60% then it'll just stop each time.

Update: I hate this damned Zyxel router! I hate it! Hate it! Hate it! I can say that the router sucks but they won't do a thing about it!  :grr: :angry:

If you can't get the file let me know.

I finally got it as of 4:30 a.m. I have to say it was worth the wait. One of if not the funniest rifftrax shorts.

Edit: Sorry for losing my cool, everyone. Wireless internet can be more trouble than it's worth, sometimes.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: RandomEngy on March 29, 2008, 02:39:25 PM
Oh man. I was in stitches the whole time. Best video yet. Well worth the buck.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Rattrap007 on March 29, 2008, 05:42:39 PM
Wasn't Safety Woman in "The Touch of Satan"?
looked it up on IMDB and nope...
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: FBX on March 30, 2008, 10:22:04 PM
And I have to agree, she was kind of hot.  I'd totally do Safety Woman or Guardiana or whatever the hell her name was.

Not at her current age.
Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: Rebochan on April 02, 2008, 11:50:39 AM
Wow, I feel like I've come full circle with this one.  Me and a friend used to have some fun with the Prelinger archives back in the day and this was one of the shorts we mercilessly shredded.  And ironically, the whole time I was thinking "If only MST3K had gotten to do this one..."

So now I know what would happen.  The results were, as expected, hysterical.

"Sorry, you'll have to talk to Meat Handler Man and his sidekick E coli boy."

Title: Re: Now available! (and DRM-FREE!)
Post by: CJBeiting on April 17, 2008, 06:29:37 AM
Aha! Do other shorts feature the groovy safety dominatrix Guardiana? Well, one other one does, but then so does this one!


You weren't kidding, either!

Guardiana will return in... Safety: In Danger Out Of Doors

http://www.archive.org/details/safety_in_danger

I think we need a Riff sequel!


Oh, dear heavens; this was one of the best RiffTrax shorts yet. 

Please, *please* say that Mike and the guys are going to be taking on this sequel!  We need more Guardiana. . . .