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General Discussion => General (Off-Topic) Discussion => Topic started by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 09:56:49 AM

Title: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 09:56:49 AM
God has informed me that I am to be the prophet of his new religion. This is a religion that believes the soul remains in in the flesh, and if the flesh has had a negative life, that energy will pass unto the person who eats said flesh (hence the veganism).
God has also commanded me that I must spread my love (my physical love) around, and, therefore, I am to have more than one husband! (sign ups to occur shortly)

Anyone who wishes to follow God's true path, please place 5 dollars into an envelope and mail it to me.


Thank You
Empress Anais
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 09:58:17 AM
Now now yer highness you live in one of the cradles of the true religion Voodoo, don't turn your back on it ;)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: jewishcarpenter on February 19, 2008, 09:58:43 AM
Well if all else fails "Free Kool-Aid everybody!", good luck.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 10:01:18 AM
Now now yer highness you live in one of the cradles of the true religion Voodoo, don't turn your back on it ;)

Voodooism does not help me attain three husbands or get tax exempt status (which god told me I must do)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 10:06:20 AM
Well join my Erzilitic Congregation of Pan then. Our central tennet is : Everybody Gets Laid.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 10:07:13 AM
Well join my Erzilitic Congregation of Pan then. Our central tennet is : Everybody Gets Laid.

God as told me you yours is not the true religion. And it is a bit different than "everyone getting laid"
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 10:09:51 AM
We can amend the tennets a bit for you yer higness: Everybody Lays Anais,
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: RVR II on February 19, 2008, 10:13:14 AM
God has informed me that I am to be the prophet of his new religion. This is a religion that believes the soul remains in in the flesh, and if the flesh has had a negative life, that energy will pass unto the person who eats said flesh (hence the veganism).
God has also commanded me that I must spread my love (my physical love) around, and, therefore, I am to have more than one husband! (sign ups to occur shortly)

Anyone who wishes to follow God's true path, please place 5 dollars into an envelope and mail it to me.


Thank You
Empress Anais
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 10:15:25 AM
We can amend the tennets a bit for you yer higness: Everybody Lays Anais,


mmmmmmm. No, i want a handful of men who can only lay with me. Plus, what about my the vegan thing. Are you people Vegan? Because if you are not, you are heathens (although my husbands don't have to be vegans because the ones I have in mind god told me to choose wouldn't be down with that
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Dim of the Yard on February 19, 2008, 10:18:50 AM
No, I'm happy worshipping Bruce Campbell at the Chrurch of Badassism, but thank you for the offer.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 19, 2008, 10:22:49 AM
ALL HAIL THE TEMPLE OF LOGICOMETRY :angry:
 ;D


Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 10:24:09 AM
No, I'm happy worshipping Bruce Campbell at the Chrurch of Badassism, but thank you for the offer.

But if Bruce Campbell becomes one of my husbands, what will you do?
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Dim of the Yard on February 19, 2008, 10:56:59 AM
Well, then I guess I'd have to pay $5.00 to the Church of Badassism.  It'd get to you eventually.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 11:21:31 AM
Plus, what about my the vegan thing. Are you people Vegan? Because if you are not, you are heathens

Well it's not strictly "vegetarian" if you know what I mean ;)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: jewishcarpenter on February 19, 2008, 11:28:10 AM
Thor's not involved? This religion is stupid.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Fortis on February 19, 2008, 11:28:52 AM
sorry, but i have this genetic anomaly that causes me to rebel against what the  masses are doing. So yeah...



I'm proud to be an infidel!!!! down with the church of badassism!! (insert maniacal laughter)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on February 19, 2008, 12:09:09 PM
Thor's not involved? This religion is stupid.

Damn right.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 12:10:20 PM
sorry, but i have this genetic anomaly that causes me to rebel against what the  masses are doing. So yeah...



I'm proud to be an infidel!!!! down with the church of badassism!! (insert maniacal laughter)

That is Bruce Campbell's religion
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 12:11:04 PM
Damn right.

Oh you Kelis worshiping heathan, when will you learn?
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Fortis on February 19, 2008, 12:11:33 PM
sorry, but i have this genetic anomaly that causes me to rebel against what the  masses are doing. So yeah...



I'm proud to be an infidel!!!! down with the church of badassism!! (insert maniacal laughter)

That is Bruce Campbell's religion

Oh, well...down with that one, and yours too.

hm, that could have been handled a bit better.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 19, 2008, 12:13:01 PM
yes... bring them all down, then the Temple of Logicometry shall reign supreme

mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha >:D
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 12:14:22 PM
Plus, what about my the vegan thing. Are you people Vegan? Because if you are not, you are heathens

Well it's not strictly "vegetarian" if you know what I mean ;)


God has spoken to me (vis collect call, that cheapass) and he mentioned that we are not strictly vegans. We must make sure that the animal flesh we eat must be from animals that have lived free and happy lives. Hunting is ok, but supermarkets are not.
Eating Human Flesh is always a no-no
As for "consuming" male (or female) by products of intimacy, they must be from worthy people, i.e my husbands, however many there may be.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Fortis on February 19, 2008, 12:17:54 PM
I don't think I'm old enough for this religion, does that mean I don't have to join?
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: RVR II on February 19, 2008, 12:20:14 PM
Sooo... Is Anais like the 'Queen Bee' in this religion, and we're all to be brainwashed into becoming her subservient worker bees?? :speechless:
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: jewishcarpenter on February 19, 2008, 12:22:12 PM
After that last post anais officially creeps me out.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 12:22:35 PM
I'm always up for a bit of Syncretism Anais, maybe there could be consolidation of your and my cult :)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on February 19, 2008, 12:23:18 PM
Ooh, I get to be Thulsa Doom.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 12:25:18 PM
I'm always up for a bit of Syncretisism Anais, maybe there could be consolidation of your and my cult :)

Yours can be the cult across the lake that we pull pranks on
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 12:30:29 PM
Aww but there's so many more fun ecumenical activities your and my followers could engage in ;)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 19, 2008, 12:33:45 PM
god has spoken to me as well anais and told me that yours is the wrong religion.  i am the true prophet and i am to take many many wives.  you are invited to become one if you renounce your heathen ways and follow my heathen ways.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: AmandaGal on February 19, 2008, 12:34:12 PM
Plus, what about my the vegan thing. Are you people Vegan? Because if you are not, you are heathens

Well it's not strictly "vegetarian" if you know what I mean ;)

She's a vegetarian, but she sure likes the bone.

So, more to the point, I have my own religion and I don't really want to lay anais (no offense, I'm sure you're hot and all).  So, I'm out on this one.  But you guys have fun.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 12:50:22 PM
god has spoken to me as well anais and told me that yours is the wrong religion.  i am the true prophet and i am to take many many wives.  you are invited to become one if you renounce your heathen ways and follow my heathen ways.

Clearly, you are a copycat prophet!
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 12:51:17 PM
Plus, what about my the vegan thing. Are you people Vegan? Because if you are not, you are heathens

Well it's not strictly "vegetarian" if you know what I mean ;)

She's a vegetarian, but she sure likes the bone.

So, more to the point, I have my own religion and I don't really want to lay anais (no offense, I'm sure you're hot and all).  So, I'm out on this one.  But you guys have fun.

You would have multiple husbands if you joined, you wouldn't be in a relationship with me. Except for those wild nights when we talking to god vis a vis peyote
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 12:52:39 PM
MY CELEBRITY ENDORSER

I have won over my first celebrity supporter (and possibly one of my future husbands)
(http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj277/anaisjude/tn2_clive_owen_2.jpg)

Now that Mr. Owen is involved, I will need to up the price of joining my religion. If you would like more information, please send me 100 dollars. Then we can talk
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 12:54:46 PM
He's got beefy faced these last few years ain't he?
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on February 19, 2008, 01:00:24 PM
I'm not God, but I'm a close second.

(http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/8/8e/200px-Cc_screen_kane.jpg)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: hare.29 on February 19, 2008, 01:01:09 PM
Oooh, maybe we'll get a smiting war. Where's my popcorn.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 01:03:12 PM
My cult is so much more of the make love (lots) not war variety.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 01:04:05 PM
I'm not God, but I'm a close second.

(http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/8/8e/200px-Cc_screen_kane.jpg)

Who is this

My cult is so much more of the make love (lots) not war variety.

As is mine. I am the only woman able of handling ot, therefore god has chosen me
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 01:05:20 PM
see this is why syncretism is needed ;)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 19, 2008, 01:12:48 PM
The temple sees all, the temple knows all, the temple is all  >:D
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 19, 2008, 01:13:46 PM
me i'm more about tickling in my religion.  tickling with feathers.  and some ropes may be used as well.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: AmandaGal on February 19, 2008, 01:31:15 PM
I'm not God, but I'm a close second.

(http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/8/8e/200px-Cc_screen_kane.jpg)

Howie Mandel?  What's he got to do with this.  ::)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tyrant on February 19, 2008, 01:35:02 PM
  Well, I can't join. I'm already my own diety with Pak as my devoted follower/prophet and to join another religion would basically mean I'm not God, which is totally incorrect. The religion centered around me is awesome, though. I allow human cannibalism (obviously), mass orgies and idiots are put to death immediatly. My religion also bans celebrities, working for a living and politicians. I don't require money to join, only a first born son (or daughter. Sexism is banned also) to be sacrificed, roasted in a delicately spiced sauce, and eaten by my followers before the daily mass orgy begins. We also have weekly tupperware parties.  All hail Tyrant!!!!
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Courtney on February 19, 2008, 01:41:13 PM
I was raised Guttentarian.  We worship this man:

(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/courtlynne/untitled3.jpg)

Now naturally, as I grew up, my faith faded somewhat.  Now I'm more of an aguttenostic.  But if you'd like more information on the Church of Steve Guttenberg of Latter-Day Steves, consult your local wellness center.

(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/courtlynne/guttenberg2.jpg)

He is always with us.  Amen.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 19, 2008, 01:42:11 PM
 Well, I can't join. I'm already my own diety with Pak as my devoted follower/prophet and to join another religion would basically mean I'm not God, which is totally incorrect. The religion centered around me is awesome, though. I allow human cannibalism (obviously), mass orgies and idiots are put to death immediatly. My religion also bans celebrities, working for a living and politicians. I don't require money to join, only a first born son (or daughter. Sexism is banned also) to be sacrificed, roasted in a delicately spiced sauce, and eaten by my followers before the daily mass orgy begins. We also have weekly tupperware parties.  All hail Tyrant!!!!

the Temple acknowledges the Tyrant as a deity, and is prepared to take any action necessary to assist the Tyrant in it's mission.



until the time comes


 
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tyrant on February 19, 2008, 01:48:06 PM
 Well, I can't join. I'm already my own diety with Pak as my devoted follower/prophet and to join another religion would basically mean I'm not God, which is totally incorrect. The religion centered around me is awesome, though. I allow human cannibalism (obviously), mass orgies and idiots are put to death immediatly. My religion also bans celebrities, working for a living and politicians. I don't require money to join, only a first born son (or daughter. Sexism is banned also) to be sacrificed, roasted in a delicately spiced sauce, and eaten by my followers before the daily mass orgy begins. We also have weekly tupperware parties.  All hail Tyrant!!!!

the Temple acknowledges the Tyrant as a deity, and is prepared to take any action necessary to assist the Tyrant in it's mission.



until the time comes


 

....when all the world shall worship at my feet. Amen.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 01:50:19 PM
 Well, I can't join. I'm already my own diety with Pak as my devoted follower/prophet and to join another religion would basically mean I'm not God, which is totally incorrect. The religion centered around me is awesome, though. I allow human cannibalism (obviously), mass orgies and idiots are put to death immediatly. My religion also bans celebrities, working for a living and politicians. I don't require money to join, only a first born son (or daughter. Sexism is banned also) to be sacrificed, roasted in a delicately spiced sauce, and eaten by my followers before the daily mass orgy begins. We also have weekly tupperware parties.  All hail Tyrant!!!!

the Temple acknowledges the Tyrant as a deity, and is prepared to take any action necessary to assist the Tyrant in it's mission.



until the time comes


 

....when all the world shall worship at my feet. Amen.


Yea, i guess that religion is ok if you only want *one* husband, which i think is a waste of your prowess
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 02:07:00 PM
I say you prove your anointed status in some sort of Messalina-Scylla  type competition. ;)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: jewishcarpenter on February 19, 2008, 02:13:17 PM
I was raised Guttentarian.  We worship this man:

(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/courtlynne/untitled3.jpg)

Now naturally, as I grew up, my faith faded somewhat.  Now I'm more of an aguttenostic.  But if you'd like more information on the Church of Steve Guttenberg of Latter-Day Steves, consult your local wellness center.

(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/courtlynne/guttenberg2.jpg)

He is always with us.  Amen.
Screw you guys and your secret handshakes.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 02:17:04 PM
I say you prove your anointed status in some sort of Messalina-Scylla  type competition. ;)


It will have to happen at the San Diego meet-up...which I don't think you are coming to. Too bad, so sad
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 02:18:32 PM
So, won't put your faith on the line eh?
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tyrant on February 19, 2008, 02:23:05 PM
I say you prove your anointed status in some sort of Messalina-Scylla  type competition. ;)


It will have to happen at the San Diego meet-up...which I don't think you are coming to. Too bad, so sad

  We can videotape it so those who don't make it can witness my glory. I was bringing the camcorder anyway. For blackmailing purposes.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 02:24:35 PM
Well I think I can get you distribution deals in Japan and Western Europe, somebody else will have to handle other markets. :)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tyrant on February 19, 2008, 02:27:20 PM
Well I think I can get you distribution deals in Japan and Western Europe, somebody else will have to handle other markets. :)

 That sounds cool. I'm planning on adding a nice intro to the footage. Some credits at the end, and a nice musical soundtrack. And a star-wipe. There's gotta be a star-wipe somewhere in there....
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Courtney on February 19, 2008, 02:53:18 PM
I was raised Guttentarian.  We worship this man:

(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/courtlynne/untitled3.jpg)

Now naturally, as I grew up, my faith faded somewhat.  Now I'm more of an aguttenostic.  But if you'd like more information on the Church of Steve Guttenberg of Latter-Day Steves, consult your local wellness center.

(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/courtlynne/guttenberg2.jpg)

He is always with us.  Amen.
Screw you guys and your secret handshakes.

Michael Winslow performs our services through sound effect noises.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 19, 2008, 03:30:14 PM
  Well, I can't join. I'm already my own diety with Pak as my devoted follower/prophet and to join another religion would basically mean I'm not God, which is totally incorrect. The religion centered around me is awesome, though. I allow human cannibalism (obviously), mass orgies and idiots are put to death immediatly. My religion also bans celebrities, working for a living and politicians. I don't require money to join, only a first born son (or daughter. Sexism is banned also) to be sacrificed, roasted in a delicately spiced sauce, and eaten by my followers before the daily mass orgy begins. We also have weekly tupperware parties.  All hail Tyrant!!!!

the Temple acknowledges the Tyrant as a deity, and is prepared to take any action necessary to assist the Tyrant in it's mission.



until the time comes


 

....when all the world shall worship at my feet. Amen.
before being crushed beneath the feet of my diety. amen.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 19, 2008, 04:44:18 PM
Hey Anais,

Sometimes my mind does it's own thing in the background without me consciously thinking about stuff.

While I was making dinner an answer to this post :

Now now yer highness you live in one of the cradles of the true religion Voodoo, don't turn your back on it ;)
Voodooism does not help me attain three husbands or get tax exempt status (which god told me I must do)

Actually, it could, considering your religion is essential a fertility one and you want three husbands. You can actually get that using some Voodoo-Hoodoo trappings. The Lwa of Beauty/love/sex/femininity Erzuli has three husbands (she typically wears three wedding rings one  each for Dambala, Agwe and Legba).

Tax Exempt status is a piece of piss one you establish a authentic enough theological frame work.

Yes I know, I'm odd ::)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 19, 2008, 08:08:56 PM
i wish i had a top hat like legba
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 08:34:05 PM
People! God Commands you STOP posting and re-posting pictures of Steve Gutenberg sans shirt!
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Chaos on February 19, 2008, 08:53:47 PM
You can actually get that using some Voodoo-Hoodoo trappings.

Except for the fact that there is no such thing as Voodoo, of course. It's actually "Voudoo." Or that's what the artsy-fartsy department at UCLA says, anyway. ;)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 19, 2008, 08:54:41 PM
People! God Commands you STOP posting and re-posting pictures of Steve Gutenberg sans shirt!
yes my god commands it too.  please for the love of god, stop or blood will pour from your eyes.  :scared: :gouge:
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 19, 2008, 08:56:17 PM
You can actually get that using some Voodoo-Hoodoo trappings.

Except for the fact that there is no such thing as Voodoo, of course. It's actually "Voudoo." Or that's what the artsy-fartsy department at UCLA says, anyway. ;)

or vodun
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 19, 2008, 09:34:05 PM
You can actually get that using some Voodoo-Hoodoo trappings.

Except for the fact that there is no such thing as Voodoo, of course. It's actually "Voudoo." Or that's what the artsy-fartsy department at UCLA says, anyway. ;)

yea, only tourists spell it voodoo. I have no idea if that's true
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 20, 2008, 05:15:58 AM
You can actually get that using some Voodoo-Hoodoo trappings.

Except for the fact that there is no such thing as Voodoo, of course. It's actually "Voudoo." Or that's what the artsy-fartsy department at UCLA says, anyway. ;)

Actually, not in the case of La Voodoo, Vodou is indicative of Haitian beliefs.

I tend to say Vodun in deference to Davis, (though Dunham and Metraux both use the more popular spelling and Deren uses Vodou) but I didn't wish to appear more high faluting than I already do. :)

i wish i had a top hat like legba

That's Baron Samedi, Legba's Petro counterpart, for Legba you'll need a cane and possibly some other Old Man accouterments. I do have a top hat lying around though really I like Erzulie best of all the Lwa.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on February 20, 2008, 06:45:15 AM
I agree to join your cult religion as long as ubernerds with attention spans as long as their keyboards do not protest us.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 20, 2008, 06:54:23 AM
I think the "Everybody Gets Laid" tennet will placate them :)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 20, 2008, 08:35:27 AM
I agree to join your cult religion as long as ubernerds with attention spans as long as their keyboards do not protest us.

Psst, BTA, that is how i know i have made it!
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 20, 2008, 10:26:23 AM
You can actually get that using some Voodoo-Hoodoo trappings.

Except for the fact that there is no such thing as Voodoo, of course. It's actually "Voudoo." Or that's what the artsy-fartsy department at UCLA says, anyway. ;)

Actually, not in the case of La Voodoo, Vodou is indicative of Haitian beliefs.

I tend to say Vodun in deference to Davis, (though Dunham and Metraux both use the more popular spelling and Deren uses Vodou) but I didn't wish to appear more high faluting than I already do. :)

i wish i had a top hat like legba

That's Baron Samedi, Legba's Petro counterpart, for Legba you'll need a cane and possibly some other Old Man accouterments. I do have a top hat lying around though really I like Erzulie best of all the Lwa.

baron samedi, how could i forget the few little bits of voodoo i actually know...which is really quite pitiful, but i do have a cane...just need to find a top hat somewhere
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: gbeenie on February 20, 2008, 11:19:00 AM
Damn right.

Oh you Kelis worshiping heathan, when will you learn?

Any religion that fails to bring all the boys to the yard isn't worth discussing.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 20, 2008, 11:20:36 AM
Especially one that speaks of "their (after)Life being hotter that yours"  :D
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: jewishcarpenter on February 20, 2008, 11:22:47 AM
Damn right.

Oh you Kelis worshiping heathan, when will you learn?

Any religion that fails to bring all the boys to the yard isn't worth discussing.
She's right, it is a practice that falls back to middle ages.
(http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f356/jewishcarpenter/29314c40.jpg)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: gbeenie on February 20, 2008, 11:24:38 AM
I was raised Guttentarian.  We worship this man:

(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/courtlynne/untitled3.jpg)

Now naturally, as I grew up, my faith faded somewhat.  Now I'm more of an aguttenostic.  But if you'd like more information on the Church of Steve Guttenberg of Latter-Day Steves, consult your local wellness center.

(http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b388/courtlynne/guttenberg2.jpg)

He is always with us.  Amen.

Wow. You really can't stop the music (on pain of TORCHA!).

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/210/492893123_d7b56cf331.jpg)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: gbeenie on February 20, 2008, 11:29:57 AM
You can actually get that using some Voodoo-Hoodoo trappings.

Except for the fact that there is no such thing as Voodoo, of course. It's actually "Voudoo." Or that's what the artsy-fartsy department at UCLA says, anyway. ;)

The head of the Artsy-Fartsy Department requests that you capitalize appropriately (lest you be brought up on charges under the University's censorship "hate speech" statutes).
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 20, 2008, 11:36:59 AM
MY SECOND CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT

(http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj277/anaisjude/HaydenChristensen_1280x1024.jpg)
A Statement From Hayden:
     After the monstrosity that was my acting in Star Wars Episodes 2 and 3, I realized that my life was a waste. I began partying and continuing to make dumb films. Now that I have discovered Anais and her religion, I can finally accept the crappy films I have made and repent. I ask all of you to forgive me for the bad films I have made. I shall now retire from acting and spend my time helping Anais gather more followers."



Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 20, 2008, 11:39:07 AM
MY SECOND CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT

(http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj277/anaisjude/HaydenChristensen_1280x1024.jpg)
A Statement From Hayden:
     After the monstrosity that was my acting in Star Wars Episodes 2 and 3, I realized that my life was a waste. I began partying and continuing to make dumb films. Now that I have discovered Anais and her religion, I can finally accept the crappy films I have made and repent. I ask all of you to forgive me for the bad films I have made. I shall now retire from acting and spend my time helping Anais gather more followers."





the Temple sends it's deepest sympathies to the anais.jude, and hopes that god shall speak to Anais once more and offer a new religion.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 20, 2008, 11:42:59 AM
what, getting Hayden to QUIT acting is a bad thing?  ???
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 20, 2008, 11:43:55 AM
not at all, but he is supporting your religion, and if no one likes him, no one will join.
 ;D
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Fortis on February 20, 2008, 11:45:15 AM
well if he is in it, I'm definitely not joining. Who would want to associate with him?
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 20, 2008, 11:45:35 AM
Well, I am sure more celebrity endorsements with follow

I have already collected
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
of donations


well if he is in it, I'm definitely not joining. Who would want to associate with him?

You would be associating with the religion that made him QUIT acting
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 20, 2008, 11:46:35 AM
well if he is in it, I'm definitely not joining. Who would want to associate with him?

Plus apart from Brad Pitt he's apparently the stinkiest male celeb out there.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Fortis on February 20, 2008, 11:49:57 AM
Well, I am sure more celebrity endorsements with follow

I have already collected
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
of donations


well if he is in it, I'm definitely not joining. Who would want to associate with him?

You would be associating with the religion that made him QUIT acting

yes but if he quits acting, that is just less movies rifftrax has to riff. Now, I wouldn't want to say that your religion doesn't support rifftrax, that would be bad, but for a small price, I could make sure that your religion is viewed as whole heartedly supporting rifftrax and all things related.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 20, 2008, 11:52:15 AM
Jodie Foster has joined the Temple, and though her methods are strange, she has brought in many followers, with her promise to bring in many more
(http://media.monstersandcritics.com/articles/1356404/article_images/brave.jpg)
JOIN THE TEMPLE!!!!!

Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 20, 2008, 11:54:40 AM
The Church of Anais.jude-ology supports rifftrax in all it's forms. Mostly by buying them and holding that Mike Nelson is a diety.
Although we may have taken Hayden away from the bad acting pool, here are a list of celebrities that are not allowed to join:
Colin Ferrell
Paris Hilton
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on February 20, 2008, 11:56:45 AM
The Church of Anais.jude-ology supports rifftrax in all it's forms. Mostly by buying them and holding that Mike Nelson is a diety.
Although we may have taken Hayden away from the bad acting pool, here are a list of celebrities that are not allowed to join:
Colin Ferrell
Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is not a celebrity....FAIL
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Fortis on February 20, 2008, 11:57:30 AM
curses

well played, but taking away Hayden Christiansan from rifftrax insults is like taking tom cruise out of the equation when it comes to scientology. You take away most of its credibility.

I will see you pay for this!!!
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 20, 2008, 11:58:22 AM
The Church of Anais.jude-ology supports rifftrax in all it's forms. Mostly by buying them and holding that Mike Nelson is a diety.
Although we may have taken Hayden away from the bad acting pool, here are a list of celebrities that are not allowed to join:
Colin Ferrell
Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is not a celebrity....FAIL

You can help make that a reality BTA, now that you have joined
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on February 20, 2008, 12:02:02 PM
We need Howard Zinn to endorse us.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 20, 2008, 12:03:50 PM
Angelina Jolie will be assisting in the recruitment of more followers for the Temple, and while we have not yet decided wether to accept her or not, we respect her methods.
(http://blog.ugo.com/images/uploads/wanted_angelina.jpg)
JOIN THE TEMPLE!!!
 ;D
 
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Courtney on February 20, 2008, 12:13:06 PM
People! God Commands you STOP posting and re-posting pictures of Steve Gutenberg sans shirt!

Why must you step all over my right to practice religion as I so choose?  I heard on Law & Order that you're totally not supposed to do that and stuff.

HAIL STEVE!
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: TeamRAD on February 20, 2008, 12:56:40 PM

Anais, there's only one way to stop the infestation of Guttenberg in this thread, and that's by employing the man himself...Reb Brown...

(http://www.nanarland.com/acteurs/rebbrown/brown.jpg)

In addition, for comedy's sake, make him wear his Captain America gear...

(http://www.nanarland.com/acteurs/rebbrown/image3.jpg)

Blaugh!

I'm sure he'd be up for a membership.
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 20, 2008, 01:10:18 PM
Alan Rickman has now joined the Temple and he is great at convincing the elderly to join
(http://bp0.blogger.com/___GIgX_RU_A/Ryq2mt9qT-I/AAAAAAAAAWQ/-sgFK-PN66o/s400/rickman+kills+dumbledore.jpg)
JOIN THE TEMPLE!!!!!
 ;D
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 20, 2008, 02:03:56 PM
isn't reb brown the guy from space mutiny?
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on February 20, 2008, 02:16:52 PM
isn't reb brown the guy from space mutiny?

damn right, McLarge Big Huge in the flesh

Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Courtney on February 20, 2008, 02:22:13 PM
In addition, for comedy's sake, make him wear his Captain America gear...

(http://www.nanarland.com/acteurs/rebbrown/image3.jpg)

Blaugh!

I'm sure he'd be up for a membership.

"Hey I don't need this!"
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 20, 2008, 02:25:59 PM
Alan Rickman has now joined the Temple and he is great at convincing the elderly to join
(http://bp0.blogger.com/___GIgX_RU_A/Ryq2mt9qT-I/AAAAAAAAAWQ/-sgFK-PN66o/s400/rickman+kills+dumbledore.jpg)
JOIN THE TEMPLE!!!!!
 ;D


Best crossover ever!
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 20, 2008, 02:43:46 PM
<burns down the Temple of Jacobtaylor> i have been converted to anais.judology and any that commit sacrilege against it will pay the price in blood...or tofu...we are vegetarians after all
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: TeamRAD on February 20, 2008, 02:45:28 PM
In addition, for comedy's sake, make him wear his Captain America gear...

(http://www.nanarland.com/acteurs/rebbrown/image3.jpg)

Blaugh!

I'm sure he'd be up for a membership.

"Hey I don't need this!"

And I'm sure this is what the Brown/Guttenberg showdown would look like...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMQL3PFgDB4

Guttenberg, whateva...:)

"Let's go out there and kick some ass!"

Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 20, 2008, 07:40:13 PM
<burns down the Temple of Jacobtaylor> i have been converted to anais.judology and any that commit sacrilege against it will pay the price in blood...or tofu...we are vegetarians after all


oh well, the Temple of Logicometry was good while it lasted  :'(, this will not soon be forgotten, and we will grow in numbers, you cannot stop us.
bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha >:D
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 20, 2008, 09:04:02 PM
<burns down the Temple of Jacobtaylor> i have been converted to anais.judology and any that commit sacrilege against it will pay the price in blood...or tofu...we are vegetarians after all


oh well, the Temple of Logicometry was good while it lasted  :'(, this will not soon be forgotten, and we will grow in numbers, you cannot stop us.
bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha >:D

well my flock of rabid sheep are now on the look out for infidels and they are well...rabid...
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tyrant on February 20, 2008, 09:20:30 PM
Wow, all these celebrity endorsements....

  Makes me happy that my religion bans celebrities. In fact, I made a rule years ago that any celebrity that tries to join my religion will be politely shown into my temple, made to think everything's fine, and when they least expect it, I shall have them restrained and their brains eaten. Except Paris Hilton. She is 'unclean' and not worthy of being food.

  For the record, and through my grace, I have pardoned a handful of celebrities because I have deemed them instrumental in the advancement of mankind. Those allowed into my temple to worship and not be eaten includes Bruce Campbell, Mike, Kevin, Joel and Bill. There are a few others, but I can't think of them at the moment. 
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 20, 2008, 09:22:17 PM
Wow, all these celebrity endorsements....

  Makes me happy that my religion bans celebrities. In fact, I made a rule years ago that any celebrity that tries to join my religion will be politely shown into my temple, made to think everything's fine, and when they least expect it, I shall have them restrained and their brains eaten. Except Paris Hilton. She is 'unclean' and not worthy of being food.

  For the record, and through my grace, I have pardoned a handful of celebrities because I have deemed them instrumental in the advancement of mankind. Those allowed into my temple to worship and not be eaten includes Bruce Campbell, Mike, Kevin, Joel and Bill. There are a few others, but I can't think of them at the moment. 

HUGE DISS ON THE LAWGIVER!
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: esoobaC .T bocaJ on February 21, 2008, 05:13:19 AM
<burns down the Temple of Jacobtaylor> i have been converted to anais.judology and any that commit sacrilege against it will pay the price in blood...or tofu...we are vegetarians after all


oh well, the Temple of Logicometry was good while it lasted  :'(, this will not soon be forgotten, and we will grow in numbers, you cannot stop us.
bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha >:D

well my flock of rabid sheep are now on the look out for infidels and they are well...rabid...


you better hope they have good eyesight, and I better hope they aren't hungry
(http://www.army.forces.gc.ca/asu_calgary/Photos/snipers.jpg)

Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 21, 2008, 10:24:41 AM
<burns down the Temple of Jacobtaylor> i have been converted to anais.judology and any that commit sacrilege against it will pay the price in blood...or tofu...we are vegetarians after all


oh well, the Temple of Logicometry was good while it lasted  :'(, this will not soon be forgotten, and we will grow in numbers, you cannot stop us.
bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha >:D

well my flock of rabid sheep are now on the look out for infidels and they are well...rabid...


you better hope they have good eyesight, and I better hope they aren't hungry
(http://www.army.forces.gc.ca/asu_calgary/Photos/snipers.jpg)



and you had better be careful cause they may eat the grass and your men as well, they are a-hungry most of the time...
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on February 21, 2008, 11:11:29 AM
Score!

I managed to convince this loser upstanding citizen to join our cult religion.
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2149/2281594373_1547ebccff.jpg)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 21, 2008, 12:39:26 PM
Score!

I managed to convince this loser upstanding citizen to join our cult religion.
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2149/2281594373_1547ebccff.jpg)


Um, Thanks BTA. He can be the husband of one of our other upstanding citizens

However, on a musical note, Chris Cornell has also looked into the The Church of Anais.jude-ology
(http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj277/anaisjude/417601_cc_200x200.jpg)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 21, 2008, 09:54:25 PM
Score!

I managed to convince this loser upstanding citizen to join our cult religion.
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2149/2281594373_1547ebccff.jpg)


Um, Thanks BTA. He can be the husband of one of our other upstanding citizens

However, on a musical note, Chris Cornell has also looked into the The Church of Anais.jude-ology
(http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj277/anaisjude/417601_cc_200x200.jpg)

chris cornell sucks.

i recommend zach de la rocha though.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d9/Zach_de_la_Rocha_at_2007_Coachella_Valley_Music_and_Arts_Festival.jpg/399px-Zach_de_la_Rocha_at_2007_Coachella_Valley_Music_and_Arts_Festival.jpg)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 22, 2008, 07:31:08 AM
This is slowly becoming a religion of stinky hippies
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: Tripe on February 22, 2008, 07:36:23 AM
The Erzilitic Congregation of Pan favours and encourages good grooming, relaxing baths.and the use of pleasent scents (We're in discusions with Bulgari to develop a formulation exclusive to congregants)..

Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: anais.jude on February 22, 2008, 08:43:05 PM
The Erzilitic Congregation of Pan favours and encourages good grooming, relaxing baths.and the use of pleasent scents (We're in discusions with Bulgari to develop a formulation exclusive to congregants)..



Clever. One must keep up with appearances to go on the tlak show circuits. (Oprah's gonna need a lot more couches)
Title: Re: God has spoken to me!
Post by: FLOCK of RABID SHEEP?!?! on February 22, 2008, 09:25:04 PM
it is unfortunate that one of your key members is a non-stinky quasi-hippy, so there...