RiffTrax Forum

RiffTrax Discussion => Individual RiffTrax Discussion => Star Wars Ep1 Phantom Menace => Topic started by: kodiakthejuggler on November 06, 2006, 06:19:45 AM

Title: What did we learn?
Post by: kodiakthejuggler on November 06, 2006, 06:19:45 AM
That Mitchell, South Dakota is the place to visit!

and...
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: gammer on November 06, 2006, 07:32:37 AM
My metaclorine (sp??) is not up to snuff
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: kodiakthejuggler on November 06, 2006, 07:42:39 AM
My metaclorine (sp??) is not up to snuff

Midichlorian.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Rufus T on November 06, 2006, 08:08:05 AM
I learned that if you cover the upper part of your face with a hood and do almost nothing to change your voice you can go by unrecognizable when you're in your mild-mannered gear. I can just imagine what would have happened during the trial of Nute Gunray from the Trade Federation. Palpatine would've probably been called to testify. In the middle of his speech Gunray would've probably stood up and said "hey don't I know you from somewhere?" Palpatine would've been flustered when he replied with, "uh of course not. don't be ridiculous." Gunray: "no no I'm pretty sure we've met before. let me hear you talk in a deep voice." A lawyer stands up and says, "I object." But the judge allows it. So Palpatine talks in a deep exaggerated voice. It probably sounds like a bad James Earl Jones impression. Gunray: "no no a different kind of deep voice." Palpatine says, in his Sidious voice, a very brief and muffled hello. An excited Gunray says, "i knew it! you're lord sidious. how have you been?" Palpatine: I am not Darth...I mean Lord Sidious. Gunray: "sure you are. i have a video." So he shows a video of Sidious talking to Nute Gunray about something. Probably about where he's going to build his new house once the queen signs the settlement. Palpatine, who is really nervous at this point, declares, "look there is a hood over my...I mean that person's eyes. There is no possible way to make an identification. The judge agrees and the matter is dropped. Palpatine sits down and says to himself, "i know I still have to use my powers to get that stunted slime off the hook. But as soon as I am emperor I'm gonna send someone over to his place to kick his ass."
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: BBQ Platypus on November 06, 2006, 08:18:15 AM
I learned that guys with eight horns wearing red and black face paint ALWAYS grow up to be servants of dark lords.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: mrbasehart on November 06, 2006, 08:37:04 AM
Qui Gon has the best shit available in the galaxy, man!
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Msampo on November 06, 2006, 12:33:58 PM
I learned to always commend my appliances.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: J-Proof on November 06, 2006, 12:41:50 PM
I learned by reason of logic, that to become a more powerful Jedi, you must EAT /other/ Jedi. This way, their midichlorians wind up in your body, and your count increases! Fabulous
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: BBQ Platypus on November 06, 2006, 12:53:56 PM
Ooh!  Almost forgot!  I learned that some planets have acne.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: LadyKenobi on November 06, 2006, 03:42:47 PM
Quote
I learned to always commend my appliances.

Qui Gon has the best shit available in the galaxy, man!

(insert Groucho's entire post here)

Hee!

I learned that meesa goopa nerssen perteu rassip goantan freete poodoo.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Steve-O on November 06, 2006, 04:36:51 PM
Qui Gon has the best shit available in the galaxy, man!

That's why they call him Qui Gon.  'cause he's reeeeeeeeeal Gon, man.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Tyrant on November 06, 2006, 04:53:10 PM

  I learned that Satan DID create Binks. Someone owes me money.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Pak-Man on November 06, 2006, 04:55:59 PM
I learned never to wager cash on the satanic or non-satanic origins of a comedy relief character. :^)
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Sharktopus on November 06, 2006, 05:20:59 PM
I learned that I should never attend a Nascar event, since the podrace scene sends me to sleepyland every time.

I learned that if you cover the upper part of your face with a hood and do almost nothing to change your voice you can go by unrecognizable when you're in your mild-mannered gear. I can just imagine what would have happened during the trial of Nute Gunray from the Trade Federation. Palpatine would've probably been called to testify. In the middle of his speech Gunray would've probably stood up and said "hey don't I know you from somewhere?" Palpatine would've been flustered when he replied with, "uh of course not. don't be ridiculous." Gunray: "no no I'm pretty sure we've met before. let me hear you talk in a deep voice." A lawyer stands up and says, "I object." But the judge allows it. So Palpatine talks in a deep exaggerated voice. It probably sounds like a bad James Earl Jones impression. Gunray: "no no a different kind of deep voice." Palpatine says, in his Sidious voice, a very brief and muffled hello. An excited Gunray says, "i knew it! you're lord sidious. how have you been?" Palpatine: I am not Darth...I mean Lord Sidious. Gunray: "sure you are. i have a video." So he shows a video of Sidious talking to Nute Gunray about something. Probably about where he's going to build his new house once the queen signs the settlement. Palpatine, who is really nervous at this point, declares, "look there is a hood over my...I mean that person's eyes. There is no possible way to make an identification. The judge agrees and the matter is dropped. Palpatine sits down and says to himself, "i know I still have to use my powers to get that stunted slime off the hook. But as soon as I am emperor I'm gonna send someone over to his place to kick his ass."

I also learned that Groucho2006 is the undisputed champion of What If? scenes. Good stuff, but not as funny as Morpheus in his jammies.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Gibborino on November 06, 2006, 05:48:00 PM
I learned that "ball" is much more fun than high-performance driving.

And I was also made aware of Sir Anthony Hopkins' brilliant performance as the old woman who warns Anakin against the sandstorm.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Rufus T on November 06, 2006, 11:14:26 PM
Thank you for the compliment Sharktopus. Yeah, I was kinda stretching with this one. The Matrix scenario was much easier to formulate.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: PsypherPunk on November 07, 2006, 03:31:36 AM
That if you ever intend to rule the galaxy you should never, ever utter the word "Yippee". Ever.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Ivan Druzhkov on November 07, 2006, 10:34:01 AM
I learned that after not seeing him for seven years, it only takes six seconds with Jar Jar to make you hate him all over again.

I also learned that exercising your Second Amendment rights kicks ass!

Oh, and I also discovered that if there one thing movie audiences love more than action, it's pendantic stilted dialogue!  Pages and pages and pages of it.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: JonnyFrag on November 07, 2006, 03:59:44 PM
I learned that during exciting escape sequences, one should always script in a pause and a lengthy discussion on politics and trade disputes.

What the hell are the Naboo trading anyway? Lush green fields with NOTHING growing in them, no sign of any polluting industry, no sign of anyone there doing anything expect building statues and archways. I guess that's it. They are the universe's leading exporter of oversized, embarassing statues and marble archways.
The statue of the Emperor they topple at the 'new' ending of Jedi? Hand made by a Naboo artisan.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: LadyKenobi on November 07, 2006, 04:12:21 PM
Quote
What the hell are the Naboo trading anyway? Lush green fields with NOTHING growing in them, no sign of any polluting industry, no sign of anyone there doing anything expect building statues and archways. I guess that's it. They are the universe's leading exporter of oversized, embarassing statues and marble archways.

Hair extentions?

Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Ivan Druzhkov on November 09, 2006, 11:37:01 AM
Hair extentions?
They must do a brisk trade with the Psychlo homeworld, then.  Do you suppose the Naboo make black padded codpieces too?
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Tyrant on November 09, 2006, 12:09:25 PM

   I know they make exploding bowling balls.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: BBQ Platypus on November 09, 2006, 02:15:03 PM

   I know they make exploding bowling balls.

For really, really strong people who don't have fingers.  That's a vitally important market.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: SaucyRossy on November 12, 2006, 08:32:26 PM
I learned that Qui Gon Jin is a "Stupid Ninja!"
and that GL just comes up with his fake alien languages by taking syllables out of the lamest possible words and sentences he can write.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: dignan on November 13, 2006, 09:41:21 AM
I learned that this was a crappy sequel to Superfly. 
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: PsypherPunk on November 13, 2006, 02:12:57 PM
That if you call your son 'Annie' he will grow up to destroy planets.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Bob on November 13, 2006, 03:32:48 PM
I learned.....

Of course you get soup with the buffet.
Never build robot guards that a toy poddle could destroy.
All hand maidens and their queens look alike.
Even on other worlds, it is "funny" if make the villians sound like arabs.
CGI is a good substitute for a good script, plot, character development, etc.
If one fish attacking your ship scene is good, TWO in a row is even better.
Adam Rich and Jay North were pretty good child actors after all.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: Fifthrate on November 26, 2007, 05:34:24 AM
I learned that any spaceport on Tattooinne is a "Wretched hive of scum and villany.

I've learned that 9 year olds can build practically anything.
Title: Re: What did we learn?
Post by: prestonp on January 18, 2008, 06:52:42 PM
I learned that only through prolonged periods of meditation can you have a good enough understanding of the force necessary to entrust your entire fate   the racing skills of a nine year old slave by entering him into a race against adult drivers who will be trying to kill him. I also learned that if you're the slave owner who owns a child prodigy who can build, race and pilot anything with no formal training or schooling, that you're best bet to make money is to bet against him in a race where he will most likely get killed if he loses and freed if he wins. I also learned that slavery leaves you with enough spare time and resources to tinker and build whatever you want.