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Members Hub => Board Games for the Bored => Topic started by: daltysmilth on August 01, 2007, 03:40:48 PM

Title: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 01, 2007, 03:40:48 PM
As the newsmedia has taught us, one of the best ways to get people to believe something is to deny it.  Saying "I didn't do it" is as good as an admission of guilt. 

With that in mind, I propose a new game, in which we all deny incredibly ridiculous and totally untrue things in order to make each other laugh.  I'll start:

Despite what you may have heard, my genitals are not so large that the ladies have nicknamed me "the telephone pole".

I do not now, nor have I ever regularly given songwriting tips to Elton John.

Katherine McPhee has never expressed a desire to see me naked.

I do not have concrete evidence that proves the existance of a historical King Arthur.

I am not next in line for the throne of the King Of The Hoboes.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 01, 2007, 04:56:48 PM
Sounds like fun.


I am not now, nor have I ever been, a pixie.

I don't even KNOW that goat!

I am not the reincarnation of Benjamin Franklin. I wish you vultures would leave me and my family be!

Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 01, 2007, 05:29:16 PM
I never drink more beer than I want to drink.

My favorite color is not pink.

I do not own a lavender cock ring with Ron Jeremy's autograph on it.

And no, you bastards, I didn't have sex with a Moon Chimp.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 01, 2007, 05:38:22 PM
I am not secretly Godzilla.

I have never, I repeat NEVER flown on wings made of wax and feathers, and even if I did, I would NEVER let myself fly close to the sun.

I will not vote for mandatory euthenasia of all kids born on leap years!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sideswipe on August 01, 2007, 08:59:04 PM
I never said I was the Lord and Master of everything, and I certainly never said I was the King of Riffchat.  Furthermore I never used the movie Army of Darkness quote "Hail to the King, baby,"  As my official Riffchat mantra.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sharktopus on August 02, 2007, 12:25:46 AM
I would like to state for the record that I have never eaten anything that fell on the floor, nor would I even consider it. In fact, I am eniterly unaware of the so-called "five second rule." I have also never dried my hands on my cat in lieu of a towel. I can't imagine how that rumor got started, but it's completely, utterly false, and I take great offense at being accused of such a heinous act. I love all God's creatures and treat them with the utmost respect.

I think I misunderstood the spirit of the game. ;D
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 04:46:15 AM
I don't care what the media has said. I don't care what some cheating "eye witnesses" have said. I don't care what the forensics says. I didn't tie a poodle to a model rocket and fire it. It wasn't that- I mean, I imagine it wouldn't actually look that cool anyway.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Hebs on August 02, 2007, 07:23:13 AM
I am perfectly capable of putting down the duckie.  I could do it whenever I wanted.  I just don't FEEL like it.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 02, 2007, 08:42:07 AM
I will never ghost write a book entitled, "If I Did It".
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 08:46:33 AM
I am NOT insane! 14 floating skulls and a demon-walrus can't all be wrong!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: YoohooRiffer on August 02, 2007, 10:51:41 AM
Now the phrase "serial killer" gets passed around a lot these days but I can honestly inform you all that I am NOT one of them.  Despite my collection of femurs and the large number of missing persons reported around my area, no such term as "serial killer" would suit me in the least.  I can't comprehend where people are getting this idea...
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Nunyerbiz on August 02, 2007, 11:03:26 AM
I was not involved with, nor had any prior knowledge of, Junkyard's hiring and subsequent dismissal of a poodle. While I did help him tie the model rocket on... I have no idea why he canned the poor thing. He seemed to be a hard worker... only pissed on trees.... minimal leg humping... shame really. Looked pretty kickass with that model rocket on his back...
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 11:40:05 AM
I have NEVER humped Nunyerbiz's leg. I don't see where he- wait.... (re-reads Nun's post)... ah haha... I mean to say, um, that is.... I have never humped the leg of that man... Nunyerbiz. (Points finger.)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 02, 2007, 11:55:29 AM
I have never posted so much that somebody kidded me about posting too much.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 11:56:35 AM
Me neither.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Tripe on August 02, 2007, 12:12:37 PM
I would state categorically for the record that my occupation does not involve maintenance of this country's nuclear arsenal.

I would further clarify that in no way have I, through an accident involving a bucket of KFC and a 2 ltr bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red that there simply isn't time to elaborate on now, accidentally doomed us all by initiating the "World Dies Screaming" protocol.

In conclusion everyone can go back to their day to day life safe in the knowledge that said life will not be lasting, oh only another 20 minutes at best.

Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: YoohooRiffer on August 02, 2007, 12:27:08 PM
I would state categorically for the record that my occupation does not involve maintenance of this country's nuclear arsenal.

I would further clarify that in no way have I, through an accident involving a bucket of KFC and a 2 ltr bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red that there simply isn't time to elaborate on now, accidentally doomed us all by initiating the "World Dies Screaming" protocol.

In conclusion everyone can go back to their day to day life safe in the knowledge that said life will not be lasting, oh only another 20 minutes at best.


 :clap: Absolutely Hilarious.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 02, 2007, 12:27:17 PM
I, for one, do not welcome a nuclear holocaust.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Tripe on August 02, 2007, 12:34:53 PM
I would state categorically for the record that my occupation does not involve maintenance of this country's nuclear arsenal.

I would further clarify that in no way have I, through an accident involving a bucket of KFC and a 2 ltr bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red that there simply isn't time to elaborate on now, accidentally doomed us all by initiating the "World Dies Screaming" protocol.

In conclusion everyone can go back to their day to day life safe in the knowledge that said life will not be lasting, oh only another 20 minutes at best.


 :clap: Absolutely Hilarious.

I have not jumped the shark on this thread with that one and I have no doubt I can come up with something just as good  :-",
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Nunyerbiz on August 02, 2007, 12:36:19 PM
I would state categorically for the record that my occupation does not involve maintenance of this country's nuclear arsenal.

I would further clarify that in no way have I, through an accident involving a bucket of KFC and a 2 ltr bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red that there simply isn't time to elaborate on now, accidentally doomed us all by initiating the "World Dies Screaming" protocol.

In conclusion everyone can go back to their day to day life safe in the knowledge that said life will not be lasting, oh only another 20 minutes at best.


 :clap: Absolutely Hilarious.

I have not jumped the shark on this thread with that one and I have no doubt I can come up with something just as good  :-

Oh... I get it... Mountain Dew CODE RED....

Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Rude on August 02, 2007, 01:07:56 PM
...

The sudden influx of forum member's with gigantic signature pictures has not driven me insane. Nor would i ever be petty enough to make a lame statement with my own ridiculously large signature picture.

-Rude
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 02, 2007, 01:15:26 PM
I take no offense to Rude's dislike of large signature images in the forum.

I do not not like his signature image.

I do not not not think he is easily annoyed.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: YoohooRiffer on August 02, 2007, 01:19:51 PM
I do not and have not, ever enjoyed The Simple Life.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on August 02, 2007, 01:23:37 PM
Being as I am a man of integrity, I will not use Rude's massive new sarcastic signature picture as an excuse to make mine both larger and more tasteless.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 01:24:33 PM
I am not planning to take my revenge on the Wayans Brothers and Carmen Electra for killing comedy.
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Nunyerbiz on August 02, 2007, 01:28:59 PM
I categorically deny being a man of integrity... therefore my new "Inspired by Rude Siganature Series" Signature.....

EDIT: I removed my "Inspired by Rude Signature Series" Signature... as I'm going offline for the day and I don't want that monstrosity around after the joke ran it's course... which was about 10 minutes after I posted it.... which was about 10 minutes ago.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 01:39:33 PM
I totally didn't use this line of discussion to change my signature into one of exactly the same size, just a day after changing it last.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Hebs on August 02, 2007, 02:11:16 PM
Well Rude has a point - eventually these threads will be 3 posts long, since the pictures will take up too much room ;)

I vehemently protest to accusations leading to my arrest outside Mattress Giant grand opening by rt. 70 - the man in the giant Serta was simply too close to the road.  I am a good driver.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on August 02, 2007, 02:52:15 PM
You all know me to be a law-abiding, moral individual. This makes these accusations of running an illegal still even more shocking. I categorically deny producing Angry Viking brand bourbon out of a makeshift brewery tucked away in the bushes on my property, and anyone who sends $35 to my address will be disappointed when they do not receive 2 liters of delicious, savory Angry Viking in return.

I am not selling any of this:
(http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e276/diamondback88/angryviking.jpg)
Get it?
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sharktopus on August 02, 2007, 04:56:30 PM
I just don't see Vikings drinking bourbon. Vikings should be drinking mead, vodka, and the blood of their enemies. At least Aquavit.

Ever have SkullSplitter?
(http://www.legendslimited.com/images/skullsplitter_med.jpg)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 05:10:06 PM
I catagorically and absolutely deny these alligations that while in Las Vegas, I broke all my religious vows by getting drunk, scarfing down several steaks, and having loveless sex with half a dozen prostitutes. Also, not doing my daily prayer. I maen, I didn't not do that.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Cibernético II on August 03, 2007, 09:57:52 PM
I cannot confirm nor deny that I have masturbated to an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 03, 2007, 10:11:57 PM
I cannot confirm nor deny that I have masturbated to an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

That one where Deanna goes sex crazy and tries to screw that ensign.  Oh yeah, cleavage.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Cibernético II on August 03, 2007, 10:36:04 PM
I cannot confirm nor deny that I have masturbated to an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

That one where Deanna goes sex crazy and tries to screw that ensign.  Oh yeah, cleavage.

I cannot confirm or deny that it was that episode or the one where Crusher and Troi are doing yoga together.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 04, 2007, 05:26:59 AM
(Gonna add a new dimension to this, in the form of deflection and mud slinging.)

Unlike my esteemed opponent, I have never been involved with an ivory smuggling ring.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 04, 2007, 10:39:42 AM
My fellow Americans, I want to make it clear that it is NOT, in any way, under any circumstances, my fault that Deana Troi's breasts are lopsided.

I would also like to take this opportunity to categorically deny the long-standing rumours that I am an ant with the head of a moose, or any other form of perversely crossbred, biogenetically engineered, or mutated animal hybrid.

And while it is true that I did inhale, I did NOT enjoy it.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 04, 2007, 10:46:20 AM
While I DO admit to sharing some of the blame in Troi's breasts being lopsided, I deny that it was on purpose.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 04, 2007, 01:48:16 PM
I wouldn't know if having Deanna Troi naked and bent over a coffee table disguises the fact that her breasts are lop-sided.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 04, 2007, 02:56:23 PM
I deny using an orphan's heart to power my Dream Machine.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sharktopus on August 05, 2007, 12:57:20 AM
I deny using an orphan's heart to power my Dream Machine.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1f/DrByronOrpheus.JPG)
"It's powered by the soul of a FORSAKEN CHILD?!"
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 05, 2007, 05:20:41 AM
Gotta love Dr. O.

Meanwhile, I can tell you on the record that I have NEVER, I repeat NEVER sabatoged anyone's parachute, using acid I screwed the pharmacist for.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 05, 2007, 06:32:48 AM
Gotta love Dr. O.

Meanwhile, I can tell you on the record that I have NEVER, I repeat NEVER sabatoged anyone's parachute, using acid I screwed the pharmacist for.

You mean the pharmacist you DIDN'T screw. I should know - I didn't see it happen.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 05, 2007, 01:43:08 PM
I categorically deny ever saying that I can see why women find Sean Connery sexy.  (A little Dirty Work reference for you.)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 05, 2007, 01:53:37 PM
I never kiss and tell.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 05, 2007, 01:56:41 PM
I have never forgotten to put the toilet seat down.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 05, 2007, 01:58:47 PM
I can assure you, I always wash my hands after going to the bathroom.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 05, 2007, 02:58:34 PM
I never get turned on by seeing Marg Helgenberger undoing her blouse in that one CSI episode.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 05, 2007, 03:18:26 PM
I never said that I liked "Dude, where's my car." That is a dirty lie, started to smear my good name.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 05, 2007, 05:19:06 PM
I have not crafted a collection of dolls made to look like the various charicter sin MST3K, though I imagine that if I did, they would look pretty darn good if I do say so myself.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 05, 2007, 05:22:54 PM
I have never drawn pictures of my idea of what the different people on this forum look like where they're dying in horrendous and at times humiliating ways.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 05, 2007, 05:27:03 PM
I don't routinely draw me and Daltysmilth doing things that make what Daltysmilth is not drawing look downright wholesome.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 05, 2007, 05:31:16 PM
I don't routinely draw me and Daltysmilth doing things that make what Daltysmilth is not drawing look downright wholesome.

I don't have pictures to prove that Junkyard is lying. Sweet... hot... forbidden pictures. WHICH DON'T EXIST!!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 05, 2007, 05:36:09 PM
The rifftrax forum is not just a seething orgy of depravity held together in  a net of shame and paranoia.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 05, 2007, 05:39:38 PM
I don't routinely draw me and Daltysmilth doing things that make what Daltysmilth is not drawing look downright wholesome.

I don't have pictures to prove that Junkyard is lying. Sweet... hot... forbidden pictures. WHICH DON'T EXIST!!

Wait, I'm confused.  Does that mean that the pictures you don't have prove that Junkyard does draw pictures of him and me doing things that make the pictures that I don't draw look wholesome?  Or that he doesn't draw pictures that... okay, this is making my head hurt.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 05, 2007, 05:45:33 PM
Me and Chaos didn't write all that with the express purpose of making Dalty's head durt.

I shouls also mention that I didn't assume at any point that Daltysmilth's name was Daltysmith.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Cibernético II on August 05, 2007, 05:49:25 PM
Yes, I do admit that have eaten an entire box of Oatmeal Creme Pies, but I do not recall if I enjoyed it. Furthermore, I do not recall if all said snack treats  were eaten in one sitting.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 05, 2007, 05:54:48 PM
I have never eaten an entire Wonder Bread/Hostess store's stock of Twinkies in a single afternoon.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 05, 2007, 05:56:00 PM
I deny that I have ever denied anything.

... Until now.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 05, 2007, 06:12:53 PM
I don't live in denial. I live in the Nile river.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: YoohooRiffer on August 06, 2007, 06:56:52 AM
I would like to unequivocally state that while there are some people out there who would watch NASCAR events only to see a horrifing car crash, that is not the case with me.  I watch it just to enjoy seeing cars go around and around and around in a stupid little circle for three hours.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 06, 2007, 07:00:11 AM
I deny eating spiders like popcorn.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 06, 2007, 02:00:10 PM
I deny tossing bits of popcorn into spiderwebs just to watch the spiders struggle.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 06, 2007, 03:09:43 PM
I have never puked ON food in the kitchen of a burger king.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 06, 2007, 03:17:16 PM
I wasn't even in Germany during the var! I mean, war!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 06, 2007, 03:30:51 PM
The parrot was pining for the fjords.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 06, 2007, 07:39:14 PM
I don't make it a habit to google "Icelandic Dance Team" every week to check for new links. So stop assuming I do.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 06, 2007, 08:25:36 PM
I have never dirty danced with my cardboard cut-out of Patrick Swayze.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: AmazingThor on August 06, 2007, 08:49:33 PM
At no point has any part of body been involved in a line dance.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 06, 2007, 09:02:09 PM
I would like to state, for the record, that they were saying "Boo-urns".
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 07, 2007, 04:28:26 AM
I am not responsible for the Cold War.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: YoohooRiffer on August 07, 2007, 05:30:08 AM
I do not nor have I ever believed that ChaosFromOrder's avatar looks like an evil Dustin Hoffman.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 07, 2007, 06:58:18 AM
Definitely, definitely not Dustin Hoffman. Definitely not.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 07, 2007, 07:59:04 AM
I am not personally responsible for those "Hip Hippoes" cartoons on Animaniacs.  And I certainly didn't tell the writers, "C'mon!  They're hippoes, but they're trying to be trendy!  It'll be hilarious!"
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 07, 2007, 08:57:59 AM
I can assure you, I was not in Dallas in  November 22, 1963. Now can we go and kill that Mummy?!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: YoohooRiffer on August 07, 2007, 09:20:56 AM
It would be unheard of for me to have been involved in a government conspiracy that used VH1 to planted subliminal conformity messages into its watchers.  On top of that there is no way that this has accidentally led to the creation of Scientology.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 07, 2007, 09:45:02 AM
I didn't need to look up "milquetoast."
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 07, 2007, 01:15:50 PM
I did not claim to have been the REAL first person on the moon.

Also, my avatar is NOT the villain from Max Payne 2.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 09, 2007, 08:13:09 AM
I'm Not Addicted to Tequila :P
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: YoohooRiffer on August 09, 2007, 08:48:31 AM
ChaosFromOrder's avatar is still not Dustin Hoffman.  It doesn't even looked like a shadowed Dustin Hoffman.  I don't even think of Dustin Hoffman when I look at it.  I know we can all agree that the one person that his avatar looks absolutely nothing like, is Dustin Hoffman.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 09, 2007, 09:43:39 AM
I have never been illogically angry at yogurt.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 09, 2007, 01:46:02 PM
ChaosFromOrder's avatar is still not Dustin Hoffman.  It doesn't even looked like a shadowed Dustin Hoffman.  I don't even think of Dustin Hoffman when I look at it.  I know we can all agree that the one person that his avatar looks absolutely nothing like, is Dustin Hoffman.

Uh oh. Time for Whopner. Def, definitely time for Whopner.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 09, 2007, 02:33:32 PM
I am not immortal, and have never been immortal.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 09, 2007, 07:41:52 PM
I do not own socks.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 09, 2007, 09:29:57 PM
I never watch dogs have sex.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 10, 2007, 04:33:19 AM
I had absolutely nothing to do with the fall of the Roman Emperor.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 10, 2007, 05:54:54 AM
Contrary to populat belief, I was NOT there at the time of the big bang to witness the creation of the universe, accidentally trapped inside an enormous force-shielded time bubble that was hurtled back billions of years.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 10, 2007, 05:57:23 AM
I DIDN'T START THE FIRE..
THE FIRE'S BEEN BURNIN SINCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNIN..
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: YoohooRiffer on August 10, 2007, 06:27:47 AM
I am not the true life inspiration for James Bond.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 10, 2007, 11:10:29 AM
I have never left disturbing, vaguely sexual, but also vaguely threatening messages on Junkyard's voice-mail in a low, raspy voice, and I resent the implication that I did.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 10, 2007, 02:43:05 PM
I have never hacked into Junkyard's voicemail messages and listened to vaguely threatening messages from a raspy voiced man and gotten an erection from it.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 11, 2007, 05:37:10 AM
I deny ever getting off on watching my hidden camera videos of Daltysmith leaving me threatening messages.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 12, 2007, 06:45:02 AM
(http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h275/rvr2/OJBOOK.jpg).
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 12, 2007, 08:13:45 AM
I haven't been spending the last decade converting the infrastructure of New York into a giant robot. And it doesn't look really awesome.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 12, 2007, 08:46:17 AM
I've haven't made out with O.J. Simpson prior to him murdering his wife and Ron Goldman.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 12, 2007, 08:51:56 AM
I am not related to both Hitler, Gengis Kahn, Joseph McCarthy, and Martha Stewart.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 12, 2007, 01:44:40 PM
I am not the person who lost the eight-hour cut of Greed.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 12, 2007, 07:16:54 PM
I was not the insperation for either Eraserhead or The 7th Seal's Death.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sharktopus on August 13, 2007, 03:47:37 AM
I deny the accusation that I have been escorted out of a Wal-Mart by security and asked never to come back. I also deny the related rumors that I frequently visit said Wal-Mart wearing elaborate costumes to simultaneously disguise my identity while drawing attention to myself. I do not derive pleasure from such shenanigans. I also deny that the whole thing started with an incident regarding a ladies' bicycle and a dispaly of Miracle Whip and quickly spiraled out of control. That's not anywhere close to what really didn't happen.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 13, 2007, 05:10:01 AM
I am not Kaiser Soze. I'm just... not.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 13, 2007, 02:17:30 PM
I am not a restless Moon Chimp!!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 13, 2007, 07:29:46 PM
I have never, I repeat never, made a shameless reference to another thread.

The next poster wears spats with a polka-dot tie.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 13, 2007, 07:33:55 PM
I am STILL not a restless Moon Chimp!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 13, 2007, 08:18:18 PM
I am not in fact 6 different comon posters on this board.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 14, 2007, 05:56:30 AM
I was not trying to be one of those common posters
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 14, 2007, 06:00:19 AM
I don't drown kittens! I don't even know how!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 14, 2007, 06:02:48 AM
I'm Not the Only RVR II
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 14, 2007, 06:11:06 AM
I deny being a member of some international conspiracy of evil geniuses.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 14, 2007, 06:16:55 AM
I am Not a Rifftrax Forum Member
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 14, 2007, 06:21:24 AM
I don't have a 2x sized poster of Will Smith in my bedroom.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 14, 2007, 06:24:11 AM
I Dont Post on the Rifftrax Forum
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 14, 2007, 06:35:19 AM
I didn't lose the Holy Grail to te Nazis.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 14, 2007, 06:54:22 AM
Columbus did Not tell the Spaniards where to find the Fountain of Youth
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Cibernético II on August 14, 2007, 08:47:38 AM
I do not recall if I have ever drank half a bottle of tequila and drove around the town in an '89 Honda Civic. I can confirm that there have been bottles of tequila in my house, but I cannot confirm who consumed the liquor nor if any were consumed by normal means. I simply don't have that information. I don't remember if I have ever had that information or if anyone else in my household has ever had that information either.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 14, 2007, 08:49:35 AM
I have Not EVER Touched a single drop of Tequila in My Entire Life!! ;D
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 14, 2007, 09:27:52 AM
I have not just gotten back online after a 72 hour outage due to broken equipment in my telephone company's local server office that was ENTIRELY MY FAULT, and done on purpose via an orchestrated DOS, to protest their horrible service, quality of equipment, and intelligence of "repair technicians."
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 14, 2007, 09:37:45 AM
I have not just gotten back online after a 72 hour outage due to broken equipment in my telephone company's local server office that was ENTIRELY MY FAULT, and done on purpose via an orchestrated DOS, to protest their horrible service, quality of equipment, and intelligence of "repair technicians."
WOW! That Sux!

I Did Not Think that Working with the I.R.S. would be SOOO Difficult sometimes..
Where the Hell do they hire some of their people??!!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 14, 2007, 09:53:05 AM
I deny ever writing a series of Harry Potter fanfics where Luna Lovegood moves to America and becomes my girlfriend and we go around solving mysteries.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sharktopus on August 14, 2007, 11:23:01 AM
I deny ever writing a series of Harry Potter fanfics where Luna Lovegood moves to America and becomes my girlfriend and we go around solving mysteries.

You better not have, or you'll be hearing from my bloodthirsty copyright lawyers.

Edit: Holy shit, this was my 5000th post! I'm not sure whether to be proud or sad. Or just gassy.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 14, 2007, 11:40:23 AM
It's also almost your 1 year anniversery with Rifftrax. Cool.

I didn't write all these posts, which have somehow brought me almost neck to neck with someone who's been on the board for a year.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sharktopus on August 14, 2007, 11:43:45 AM
It's also almost your 1 year anniversery with Rifftrax. Cool.

I didn't write all these posts, which have somehow brought me almost neck to neck with someone who's been on the board for a year.

*looks up when Junkyard joined* HOLY CRAP! You need help. :D
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 14, 2007, 11:55:47 AM
Actually, I've been on here longer than I thought. About 3 months.

I mean... I haven't been on here longer than I thought. Definietely NOT 3 months.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Pak-Man on August 14, 2007, 12:00:24 PM
But on this thread you're supposed to deny something untrue, as I understand it, so shouldn't it be "I haven't been here shorter than I thought. Definitely not more than 3 months?"
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sharktopus on August 14, 2007, 12:01:51 PM
I wish I wish I hadn't killed that fish.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 14, 2007, 02:02:08 PM
At this point, I think the original rules for this thread have been thoroughly thrown out the window.  At least as thouroughly as you can throw things out of a window.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 14, 2007, 02:41:24 PM
I deny ever throwing anything out of any window. Especially the rules.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 14, 2007, 03:08:51 PM
I deny knowing there were rules.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Tyrant on August 14, 2007, 04:10:57 PM

   Contrary to popular myth, I'm not the one who keeps dipping Pak's arm into a bucket of warm water at night while he sleeps to win a $20 bet.

   I'm also not the one who keeps posting photos of him asleep and covered in cool whip onto fetish sites for fast cash.

  Oh, and if anyone asks, I'm not in the middle of writing a book on how to cook toddlers. Seriously, I'm not. I don't know how these rumors get started.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 14, 2007, 08:40:06 PM
I didn't start any rumours about Tyrant's disturbing habits around small children.

I also don't have photos of said activities that clearly show the feet sticking out of the pot. So don't ask.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 14, 2007, 08:49:09 PM
I am not posting these last few posts just to get closer to 1000 total posts.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sharktopus on August 14, 2007, 11:13:19 PM
I have no idea who is responsible for defenestrating the rules of this thread.

Also, I did not post this comment simply to use the word defenestrating. That's a dirty lie.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 14, 2007, 11:26:27 PM
I have never touched an Ewok in an impure manner.
I have never dreamt of touching an Ewok in an impure manner.
Anyone who says that I have touched an Ewok in an impure manner is lying.
I have no knowledge of the most pleasurable parts of an Ewoks body.
I do not know how to make an Ewok scream with delight.
I wouldn't know what kinds of Ewok phrases are yelled during an Ewok orgasm.
I have never had a three-way with 2 Ewoks.
I wouldn't know what Ewok breast milk tastes like.
I have never made a snuff film involving an ewok lover of mine who I no longer cared for.
I have never sold Ewok snuff films.
My house was not purchased through the sale of Ewok snuff films.
I have never been to Endor.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Sharktopus on August 14, 2007, 11:28:20 PM
"I have lusted for Ewoks, but I have only lusted in my heart." - Jimmy Carter
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 14, 2007, 11:48:38 PM
"I DID NOT HAVE sexual relations with that Ewok." - Bill Clinton

"Read my lips:  No fucking Ewoks!" - George H.W. Bush

"I am not an Ewok." - Richard Milhouse Nixon

"Ask not what your Ewok can do for you, but what you can do for your Ewok." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"Four score and seven years ago our Ewok fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all Ewoks are created equal.  Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those Ewoks who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave Ewoks, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living Ewoks, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored Ewok dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these Ewok dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the Ewok, by the Ewok, for the Ewok, shall not perish from Endor."  - Abraham Lincoln
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 15, 2007, 06:14:10 AM
I did Not watch ID4 until almost 3am EST last night :gouge:
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Tyrant on August 15, 2007, 11:19:00 AM

  I'm not thinking that some people on this forum might have some "issues" involving Ewoks.

   I don't have any "issues" with Ewoks either.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 15, 2007, 11:23:28 AM
I had nothing to do with Man's fall from grace. I don't know where that rumor came from.

By the way, a denial question:
Let's say I announce,
"I have never kicked myself in the batch,"
and the I kick myself in the batch, THEN say,
"and I never will."
Is that a true statment, or are the past and present included in the time taken to say a sentence?
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 15, 2007, 11:50:24 AM
I Don't Have Any Issues with the ID4 Aliens come to think about it.. :P
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 15, 2007, 01:34:34 PM
I am not secretly married to Kirsten Dunst.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: AmazingThor on August 15, 2007, 05:54:15 PM
By the way, a denial question:
Let's say I announce,
"I have never kicked myself in the batch,"
and the I kick myself in the batch, THEN say,
"and I never will."
Is that a true statment, or are the past and present included in the time taken to say a sentence?
That question in no way hurt my head to think about.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on August 15, 2007, 09:07:10 PM
By the way, a denial question:
Let's say I announce,
"I have never kicked myself in the batch,"
and the I kick myself in the batch, THEN say,
"and I never will."
Is that a true statment, or are the past and present included in the time taken to say a sentence?
That question in no way hurt my head to think about.

I also was not physically injured trying to figure out what the hell you just said. ;)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 16, 2007, 05:39:00 AM
I don't ask questions specifically because I know they cause people pain and injury. That would just be insane.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 22, 2007, 07:50:09 AM
I am not the New Prophet
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 22, 2007, 09:09:04 AM
I am unaware of any plot by Carson Daly to overthrow the government.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on August 22, 2007, 09:11:21 AM
I am Not the one that will bring balance to the force
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Tripe on August 22, 2007, 09:27:55 AM
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 22, 2007, 09:27:01 PM
I did not just wash my phone with my pants, and I also didn't wash my wallet either...... :'(
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Tripe on August 23, 2007, 06:40:29 AM
I don't find Chaos' simpsonized avatar more disturbing than his previous man in the shadows one.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on August 30, 2007, 08:08:16 PM
I am not bumping this thread to prevent it from getting put on the next page.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on August 30, 2007, 08:10:19 PM
I don't disbelieve daltysmilth.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on September 06, 2007, 03:54:53 PM
I did not steal government secrets and sell them to America's fiercest, most bloodthirsty enemy: Canada.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Tyrant on September 06, 2007, 03:59:15 PM

  I completely deny thinking Canada was ever our fiercest, most bloodthirsty enemy.

  I also completely deny starting an underground movement to invade Canada.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on September 06, 2007, 09:40:12 PM
I did not receive said secret documents and deliver them to CSIS for exploitation.

And the fact that 95% of the population of Canada lives within 100 miles of the border to the US is merely a coincidence. We are NOT massing for an invasion to sweep you all under our snowshoes.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Rude on September 06, 2007, 09:48:17 PM
...

I deny that i promised to make a bomb for Canada, took their plutonium, and sold them a used bomb-casing full of old pinball machine parts instead.

-Rude
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on September 07, 2007, 05:44:36 PM
I am not replying suddenly to a bunch of threads with the intent of sliding the "Last one to post on this thread wins" thread off the front page. I just like to post alot, you know that.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on September 07, 2007, 07:45:08 PM
I am not replying suddenly to a bunch of threads with the intent of sliding the "Last one to post on this thread wins" thread off the front page. I just like to post alot, you know that.

I don't know what you're talking about.

(http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x197/ChaosFromOrder/JunkyardPosts.jpg)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Hebs on September 08, 2007, 05:57:04 AM
I'm am not even a little bit sad that I was killed off in the first round. . ...  *Aaahh *weep weep* sniff*
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on September 08, 2007, 07:04:50 AM
I am not in fact a hot young actress named Jessica pretending to be a chubby guy from Wisconsin.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 08, 2007, 02:49:50 PM
I am not part of the Romulans or Klingons.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on September 08, 2007, 03:57:20 PM
I am not part of the Romulans or Klingons.

So... you are denying being a romulan or klingon in the fake denial thread, suggesting that you ARE, in fact, a klingon or romulan?

Chaos is confused (which is an accomplishment).
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 08, 2007, 04:07:26 PM
I mean I'm not not part of the Romulans or Klingons.  If that clears it up for you.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on September 08, 2007, 04:12:36 PM
Yeah, Jeez, Chaos.  I understand it.  What the heck's your problem?
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on September 10, 2007, 09:45:59 AM
I wasn't anywhere near Stone Henge on the 14th of May. And I don't know who took that stone.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 12, 2007, 09:43:22 PM
I have never sold qualudes to Britiney Spears.
I definitely never gave her any before her latest MTV music video awards show appearance.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on September 13, 2007, 09:08:45 AM
I wasn't anywhere near Stone Henge on the 14th of May. And I don't know who took that stone.

I deny mistaking feet for inches when building a Stonehenge set for Spinal Tap.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on September 13, 2007, 03:15:38 PM
There is a distant planet where aliens consider our television signals to be messages from a greater power.
Mork is their weather god, the Golden girls are their harvest godesses, and so on.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on September 13, 2007, 03:23:44 PM
I categorically deny fooling Junkyard into believing this is the Fake Trivia thread.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on September 13, 2007, 03:25:28 PM
I deny writing that.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 13, 2007, 04:30:26 PM
I never read that embarrassing post.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on September 14, 2007, 04:53:05 AM
RVR II doesn't want to understand bettertomorrowamy's signature(s)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on September 14, 2007, 05:09:26 AM
While I do believe someone did, I was not the one who convinced Mike never to riff Dune.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on September 14, 2007, 05:13:26 AM
I AM NOOOT THE ONE LEADING THE CHARGE FOR 'DUNE' TO BE RIFF'D!!!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on September 14, 2007, 05:35:16 AM
I am not the one who sold Windows to the aliens in ID4.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on September 14, 2007, 05:39:26 AM
I am not the one who sold Windows to the aliens in ID4.
Looked more like a 'Mac' compatability to me.. 8)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on September 14, 2007, 05:53:24 AM
I do not know the location of Amelia Airhart's body.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on September 14, 2007, 12:44:54 PM
I did not eat a whole baby.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 14, 2007, 02:14:02 PM
I didn't eat a toddler.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on September 14, 2007, 02:15:56 PM
I dont like Baby-Back, Baby-Back, Baby-Back Ribs.. :P
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 14, 2007, 02:19:35 PM
I didn't drive for 3 or so miles on a flat tire today without knowing it.  I didn't notice the wheels pulling to the left and wonder about it but ignore it.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on September 14, 2007, 02:24:59 PM
I didn't drive for 3 or so miles on a flat tire today without knowing it.  I didn't notice the wheels pulling to the left and wonder about it but ignore it.
  8)
:D :D :D
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 14, 2007, 02:29:26 PM
My signature is not written in Welsh that is poorly translated via the internet.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on September 14, 2007, 02:31:24 PM
My signature is not written in Welsh that is poorly translated via the internet.
My signatures have NOTHING to do with the 1984 version of the movie; DUNE.. ::)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on September 14, 2007, 04:11:36 PM
My signature is not written in Welsh that is poorly translated via the internet.

I said 'dogs I Was not I go' heartburn red shirt?
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 14, 2007, 04:17:31 PM
My signature is not written in Welsh that is poorly translated via the internet.

I said 'dogs I Was not I go' heartburn red shirt?

Yeah, it doesn't translate for shit, but it kinda looks like it might mean something.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on October 02, 2007, 05:49:04 AM
I had nothing to do with Principal Skin-Trade's rapid departure.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RoninFox on October 02, 2007, 06:28:27 AM
I had absolutely nothing to do with the plan to paint "YOU ARE NOT FUNNY, STOP MAKING MOVIES" in huge red letters on Will Ferrell's house.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RVR II on October 02, 2007, 12:11:39 PM
I had Nothing to do with angering a certain forum member with my image posts of  'nearly naked' women.. OOPS! ::)
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on October 02, 2007, 01:47:02 PM
I had nothing to do with Principal Skin-Trade's rapid departure.

Well neither did I. What's your point? Stop making accusations! Takes one to know one, so fuck you!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on October 02, 2007, 03:10:07 PM
I had nothing to do with Principal Skin-Trade's rapid departure.

Well neither did I. What's your point? Stop making accusations! Takes one to know one, so fuck you!

^^ I didn't see that coming.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on October 03, 2007, 06:35:31 PM
I am not  both sarcasm_made_easy and Junkyard, running back and forth between 2 computers. That's ridiculous.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on October 03, 2007, 07:29:00 PM
I didn't make a website counting down the time until Lindsay Lohan turned 18.

I also didn't make a website counting down the number of posts and estimated time until Junkyard hit 6000 posts.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Junkyard on October 03, 2007, 07:29:56 PM
Before 10:00, i can assure you.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RoninFox on October 04, 2007, 04:48:46 AM
(http://www.cinefania.com/pics/personas/4/4663.jpg)

I'M NOT AN ALIEN!
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: daltysmilth on October 04, 2007, 09:04:18 AM
I am in no way responsible for Slippy's incompetency and annoyingness in StarFox 64.
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: RoninFox on October 04, 2007, 02:13:30 PM
I am in no way responsible for Slippy's incompetency and annoyingness in StarFox 64.

Can you at least identify Slippy's gender?
Title: Re: The Denial Thread
Post by: Chaos on October 04, 2007, 02:31:46 PM
I am in no way responsible for Slippy's incompetency and annoyingness in StarFox 64.

Can you at least identify Slippy's gender?

I deny knowing the answer to this question.

Besides, it's really best not to speculate on Slippy's batch.