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Members Hub => Board Games for the Bored => Topic started by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 06:51:12 AM

Title: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 06:51:12 AM
Inspired by a tangent on the Fake Trivia thread, the object of this game is to write the future, year by year, major event by major event. I'll start with 2008, and the next person does 2009, and so on. Pretty simple, maybe fun.

2008: Iceland declares war on the USA.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Tripe on July 27, 2007, 06:54:19 AM
2009: the Imperial Icelandic-Quebecois Confederation rules 2/3 of the northern Hemisphere.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 06:55:36 AM
2010: The IIQC decides to start research on artaficial intelligence.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Tripe on July 27, 2007, 07:00:54 AM
2011 the key to AI is descovered : regular supplies of poutine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poutine)
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 07:07:24 AM
2012- As AI units are being produced for factory work, in China, a man called Xia Kahn takes control of the government, abolishing Communism and replacing it with facism.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Tripe on July 27, 2007, 07:13:21 AM
2013: Chinese Fascist expansion is halted due to combined efforts of IIQC Cod Warriors and Japanese Hello Killy Commando units
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 07:15:06 AM
2014- Japan having taken over China, they decide to expand, invading Southeast Asia, Eastern Russia, and parts of the Middle East.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Tripe on July 27, 2007, 07:18:16 AM
2015: After long sieges, Moscow and Kiev finally fall, the inhabitants run in terror form the triumphant cries: "PIKA PIKA!"
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 07:25:07 AM
2016- Led by Thomas Edison's clone, the Robot Armies of the IIQC are sent to reinforce Europe's defenses.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Tripe on July 27, 2007, 07:38:26 AM
2017 the marriage between Princess Avril daughter of IIQC Emperor Donus Cherieator II and Crown Prince Otakumoto signals both the end to hostilities and the beginning of a one world state.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 07:41:00 AM
2018- The Robot armies, now no longer of any use, start their own soverign nation in Antarctica, which they call 01, because they thought the Animatrix really kicked ass.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Tripe on July 27, 2007, 07:43:10 AM
2019 - IIQC supplies of poutine are near exhausted due to international trading with 01
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 01:11:31 PM
2020- The Robots figure out how to run on chocolate.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RVR II on July 27, 2007, 01:13:41 PM
2021: I'm born again as President
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 01:30:45 PM
2022- In December, RVR's reincarnation, 13 year old President Yolanda Belomi, leader of the now soverign nation of Hawaaii, threatens to turn on a fusion reactor that would cause Kauai to go up like a giant nuke, throwing the Earth out of orbit, unless she is named Dictator of Earth.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Sideswipe on July 27, 2007, 01:44:38 PM
2023-  The Cult of Sidesipe emerges from the unknown and conquers all of  New Zeland, proclaiming the Almighty Sideswipe the Immortal as its  Emperor. The supersoldiers of the Sideswipe Empire set their sights on Austrailia.  Fear and panic spead the continent as anticipation of the oncomming invasion mounts.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 27, 2007, 01:50:07 PM
2024- After 2 years, President Belomi finally decides to stop bluffing and activate the Doomsday machine. Sidesipe, alerted by his spies, sacrifices himself and his army by throwing themselves on the bomb. Somehow, this works, and the World praises the late Sidesipe as it's savior. The new cult of Sipism is born in the streets of Argentina.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 27, 2007, 09:07:03 PM
2025- The body of Principal_Skin-Trade is unearthed in the country of Zanzibar where it is turned over to special forces of Fox-hound. He is made into the first living skeletal man, named Skull Diamond. Upon realizing his inability to reproduce he takes the next 20 years to invent the "Reality Machine" where any fictional character can be created. Skull Diamond gathers his army, consisting of Boba Fett, IG-88, Maximillian(From The Black Hole), Michael Corleone, Sonny Corleone, Snoopy, Rocksteady, Bebop, Nelson Muntz, Nigel Tufnel, Fezzik, Black Manta, Captain Ramius, Judge Death, Alien,  Action Jackson, Scarecrow, The Army of the dead, Unicron, John Bigbootay, Khan Noonien Signh, Ming the Merciless and Juggernaut. He names his army "The Legion of Doom" and gets away with it since all copyright laws have been banished in the future. He decides to use his army to wipe out remaining Taliban forces.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RVR II on July 27, 2007, 09:08:41 PM
2026: the Terminators return to take out Ahnold once and for all!
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 27, 2007, 09:10:53 PM
2026: the Terminators return to take out Ahnold once and for all!
May of 2026 - Principal Skin-Trade sits back and cries as he watches one of his favorite Californian governors die. He wishes he could do something but at this point in history, he is still powerless without his Army.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on July 27, 2007, 09:18:31 PM
2027-
At an Arctic research base in Greenland, a team of Norwegian scientists unearth a massive, ancient-looking man frozen in a block of clouded permafrost and bring it back to base camp. The permafrost thaws out in the back of their snow tractor and RobtheBarbarian bursts free of his icy prison, hurling chunks of dismembered Norwegians onto the tundra. The world has forgotten the fury of the north... but not for long.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 27, 2007, 09:20:02 PM
2027-
At an Arctic research base in Greenland, a team of Norwegian scientists unearth a massive, ancient-looking man frozen in a block of clouded permafrost and bring it back to base camp. The permafrost thaws out in the back of their snow tractor and RobtheBarbarian bursts free of his icy prison, hurling chunks of dismembered Norwegians onto the tundra. The world has forgotten the fury of the north... but not for long.
Mid 2027 - Principal Skin-Trade learns that his old friend has been brought back to life and decides to let Rob wreck havok as it meets with his future plans for chaos. Work on the "reality machine" continues...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 27, 2007, 10:52:25 PM
Late 2039 - The incubated clones of Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Beck, Hilary Duff, Eminem, and Paris Hilton are brought to life and have united to form the Syndicate of Evil in order to take over the world and kill every rational human being on the planet. Principal Skin-Trade/Skull Diamond is quite amused when the Taliban who plans many perfect terrorist attacks are defeated and their leaders mysteriously disappear. The Syndicate of Evil is of course responsible for the final fall of the Taliban and unfortunately in doing this they gain much credibility.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on July 27, 2007, 10:57:18 PM
Winter, 2039

The Greenlandic government is no more and much of Newfoundland, Nova Scotia and New England lay in smoking ruins as RobtheBarbarian carves a bloody path south in the wake of winter storms. The IIQC raises a defensive line along the Potomac River in anticipation of Rob and the horde of savage warriors that have risen to his side, consisting of several thousand drunk and raging metalheads.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 27, 2007, 11:16:37 PM
Winter, 2039

The Greenlandic government is no more and much of Newfoundland, Nova Scotia and New England lay in smoking ruins as RobtheBarbarian carves a bloody path south in the wake of winter storms. The IIQC raises a defensive line along the Potomac River in anticipation of Rob and the horde of savage warriors that have risen to his side, consisting of several thousand drunk and raging metalheads.
Winter 2039
Skull Diamond, using easily available satellitte technology communicates with Rob the Barbarian asking him to execute all the members of the Syndicate of Evil. Skull Diamond eagerly awaits a response from the highly esteemed Barbarian.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on July 28, 2007, 12:50:26 AM
Spring, 2040

As the snows thaw and it becomes possible to march again, the horde of savage metalheads breaks camp in Massachusetts and mobilizes for an assault on the Syndicate of Evil's headquarters in Southern California. Well aware of the impending assault, the SoE raises more unholy clones to strengthen their defenses: out of the vats crawl Moby, Jennifer Lopez, Shawn White, Alec Baldwin and P-Diddy.

The Barbarian Horde overruns the IIQC's line at the Potomac and begins to cross the Appalachian Mountains.

(http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e276/diamondback88/rtbinvasion.jpg)
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RVR II on July 28, 2007, 05:51:34 AM
Summer 2040: The ice returns and the Mammoths return with a Vengance to old New York City, and former Washington DC to stomp out taxes on their Cuban cigars
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 28, 2007, 05:53:52 AM
(Well, joining the bandwagon of ressurected folk,)

2041- Junkyard, having long since downloaded his mind into a giant robot octopus, and having spent the last 30 years in an underground labratory where he has sought to discover the secrets of the universe, hears news of the Barbarian Hordes and decides to take action. He releases a nanite swarm onto the entire population west of the Mississipi, transforming them into semi-inistructable superhumans.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RVR II on July 28, 2007, 06:01:14 AM
Winter 2041: Dogs grow to the size of small mammoths to guard their hidden stash of gold buried in the Gulf of Mexico
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 28, 2007, 06:12:59 AM
2042- An army of Swipists attack the Barbarian/Skin Trade Army from the Atlantic as the West Coast Supermen attack them from inland. The B/ST Alliance is put on the defensive.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RVR II on July 28, 2007, 06:21:05 AM
2043: Canada joins forces with Mexico to Force the old United States Republic to accept their mixture of Tequila/Canadian beer
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on July 28, 2007, 06:26:52 AM
Spring, 2043

The Barbarian Horde is entrenching in the foothills of Kentucky. Aggressive and brave almost to the point of foolhardiness, the barbarians are unaccustomed to being under siege. Morale is waning.

Come nightfall, bonfires light the horizon. Drums echo off the mountainsides and the grating roar of Motorhead shatters the cool air. Screams, howls, bellows of rage. Tonight comes the sortie.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RVR II on July 28, 2007, 06:30:08 AM
Summer 2043: Giant mosquitoes invade the Great Lakes region to steal boat supplies to make their own submarines
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 28, 2007, 06:37:47 AM
2044- The Giant Mosquitoes swoop in and save the last 3000 soldiers of the B/ST Alliance, flying them to 01, Antarctica, under Lord Binary's orders.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 28, 2007, 10:20:21 AM
Summer 2044 - The dead skeletal body of Skull Diamond/Principal Skin-Trade revives, and Skull Diamond reluctantly continues his work on the Reality machine so he can bring all the fictional characters to life. He encounters his old friend, Sir Guy of Ginsmore in Zanzibar and they duel with swords. Skull diamond is of course no swordsman by any stretch of the imagination, but he wins anyway since there is no flesh for the sword to pierce on Skull Diamonds body. Skull Diamond finally gets in a good stab at Sir Guy, who wanted to die anyway because his lifelong girlfriend clone of Angelina Jolie, you know, the perfect clone, the one with full pouty lips, supple firm breasts and perfect legs had abandoned Sir Guy. Skull Diamond Promised sir guy that he would wed the beautiful clone and take her to bed everynight. Sir Guy tried to strangle Skull Diamond but it was a vain attempt, as Skull Diamond is nothing but  a skeleton. Of course, in order to take the clone of Angelina Jolie to bed, Skull Diamond would have to find a way to break his curse and make flesh for himself again... this of course presented an even bigger problem then the reality machine, but he would restore himself someday, somehow, someway.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 28, 2007, 10:54:23 AM
2045- Jolieclone  preaches a new religion based on love, respect, and faith, challenging the ideas of Swipeism. High Priestess Dakota Fanning orders a manhunt for Jolieclone. Meanwhile, the West Coast Supermen start construction on a huge Space Ark. Also, RoboJunkyard finally pierces the fabric of reality, seeing everything for what it truly is. The realization transfoms him into pure, sentient energy.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on July 28, 2007, 02:51:12 PM
2046 - John Connor has sent the only father he has ever known, The Governator Model Terminator, to 2046 to help protect the Jolieclone.  It is written that the Jolieclone will invent her own Time Transport in 2047 and fly back in time and defeat Skynet when it was still a chess-playing computer program back in the 1970's.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 28, 2007, 05:44:34 PM
2047- Pure Energy Junkyardsquanders his newfound abilities to not only post online 24/7, but also to post retrocatively. See the evidence:

McKinley is such a noob!

Meanwhile, the West Coast Supermen sucsessfully launch their space ark and, by December, land their ship on Mars and begin Terraforming operations.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Rude on July 28, 2007, 06:29:24 PM
...

2048 - Nothing much happens.

-Rude
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 28, 2007, 06:46:04 PM
(It DOES happenthat way somethimes, you know.)

2049- Fanning's Army, having destroyed the Terminator and a group of loyal disciples, were about to annialate Jolieclone when Skin Trade descended from the sky in a Hover Tank and blasted Fanning's armies into the next world. Skin Trade had since figured out how to grow new flesh, but he wasn't completely done, and thus looked like a bundle of chum wrapped in celophane. Nonetheless, he confidently approched Jolieclone, offering to take her away with him to a well protected fortress where she would be safe. (Didn't try to put any obvious moves on her; real class act.) She kindly turned down his offer, claiming that she could do more work out amongst the people. Seeing Skin Trade off with a kiss, she melted into the shadows of Omaha City's mean streets.

Meanwhile, terraforming is nearly complete on Mars, and a city has already meen established.

Meanwhile, 01City has grown to include the entire surface of Antarctica, and is begining to spread out into the Ocean.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on July 28, 2007, 07:47:08 PM
2050 - I, myself, die and my brain is frozen in carbonite to be unfrozen in 20 years and given to Dick Cheney's 50-year-old robotic zombie corpse as fuel.  Otherwise, nothing much happens.  It's also very lonely.  Please hold me.  I'm cold.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 28, 2007, 08:02:50 PM
2051- Faced with the potential threat of a robot invasion, the IIQC, Skin Trade (Now almost completely be-fleshed,) Rob the Barbarian (Who has since developed magical Celtic powers,) and Argentina form the UCBBC (United Carbon Based Beings Coalition.) Combining their millitary might, they keep an armed presense outside of the shores of 01. The Robot expansion is halted, for now.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 28, 2007, 08:15:57 PM
Late 2051 - Skull Diamond/Skin Trade reluctantly says goodbye to his love, Jolie Clone because he is covered only with flesh up to his neck, which of course puts off Jolie clone and all women who see him. Skull Diamond in a fury mobilizes the Legion of Doom which he has so named since all copyright laws have been vanquished. The Legion of Doom consists of characters he has created with the reality machine from alternate universes, they are: Boba Fett, IG-88, Maximillian(From The Black Hole), Michael Corleone, Sonny Corleone, Snoopy, Rocksteady, Bebop, Nelson Muntz, Nigel Tufnel, Fezzik, Black Manta, Captain Ramius, Judge Death, Alien,  Action Jackson, Scarecrow, The Army of the dead, Unicron, John Bigbootay, Khan Noonien Signh, Ming the Merciless and Juggernaut. Skull Diamond Mobilizes them all against Skynet and to protect the last remnants of humanity in a desperate attempt to get laid.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on July 28, 2007, 08:22:57 PM
2052 - The ultimate battle takes place between Skull Diamond's Legion of Doom and Skynet's robotic Schwatzenegger robots.  Each side picks a partner from the other side and the ultimate Chess Battle begins.  The games are done in tournament fashion.  A player must loose 5 time to get kicked from the tournament.  The last human/robot standing wins.  The battle rages.  Fingers move across boards and sweaty backs rub against wooden seats.  It's epic.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 28, 2007, 08:27:28 PM
December 2052 - Luckily, most of the Legion of Doom is well-trained in the art of chess playing. Most of the games however are drawn out for weeks and even months... Michael Corleone though wins the most Chess games. Those who don't win at chess just get pissed and shoot the terminators they are playing against.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 29, 2007, 05:26:38 AM
2053- While the tournament continues, newly made Space Arks from Mars land in all the major nations, offering escape from Planet Earth to 2,000,000 people each in exchange for servitude. Meanwhile, 01reveals itself to in fact be a giant laser cannon, which is then fired at Ubermench City on Mars, taking out most of the population and the central government.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Sideswipe on July 29, 2007, 08:28:28 AM
December 24, 2054.  30 years after his supposed death, Sideswipe emerges from the depths of the unknown with grand plans to unite the war torn globe under the rule of his iron fist.  Swipists everywhere rejoice.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 29, 2007, 09:14:05 AM
2055- High Priestess Dakota Fanning, fearing her position is threatened, assassinates Sideswipe and blames it on the Robots of 01. Moments before his death, however, Junkyard, bored of posting, takes Sideswipe's mind from it's body and puts it in control of one of the Space Arks.

The remaining Supermen of Mars gather in their last ship, an armed War Machine, and head back to Earth.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 29, 2007, 10:26:45 AM
Summer of 2055 - Angry over his friends death, revives Sideswipe. In retaliation, Skull Diamond puts a curse on Emperor Fanning that she will loose all her flesh and have to walk the earth forever as a skeleton.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 29, 2007, 11:55:55 AM
2056- Because she already went the Michael Jackson route with her plastic surgery, no one notices Fanning's transformation, so she goes on with her plans to invade 01 without interupption. Meanwhile, Sideswipe's re-animated corpse, now inhabited by Benjamin Franklin, starts negotiating with Space Ark Sideswipe to launch a preemptice strike against the Supermen before they reach Earth.

Also, the Skin Trade/ Barbarian alliance comes to an end when the two leaders disagree over whether to attack 01 or the Swipists.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on July 29, 2007, 11:59:33 AM
2057 - A truce is declared between all warring sides.  A large orgy of kissing and hugging erupts.  There's plenty of hand-holding and foot-rubbing.  The world is a beautiful place until......
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 29, 2007, 12:04:48 PM
2058-... January, when the Supermen arrive. All of their Space Arks, save Sideswipe, turn into giant battle robots, which immediately secure the major capitals of the World. For the rest of the year, the people of the world are enslaved under the watchful glare of the Supermen.

Space Ark Sideswipe and Franklin in Sideswipe's corpse are nowhere to be found.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 29, 2007, 04:29:18 PM
November 2058 - Skull Diamond and the rest of his Legion of Doom rename themselves "The Justice league", again being able to do so since copyright laws no longer exist. They go underground into hiding from the Supermen and Skull Diamond forms a barrier within his base to block the supermen... for now. Meanwhile, Skull Diamond has also left IG-88 on the surface with Kryptonite weapons while he(Skull Diamond) desperately tries to come up with a way to create more kryptonite, that is until he remembers he has the reality machine and intends to bring Doomsday to the real world....
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 29, 2007, 06:34:12 PM
2059- Skull Diamond stops trying to get Kryptonite, as it turns out that radioactive planet fragments can't stop genetically enhanced humans, even if they do call themselves Supermen. However, he does keep working to get ahold of Doomsday.

Meanwhile, Sideswipe and Franklin look through Junkyard's old notes and uncover the secret to his nanite swarms. While they work to figure out how to best use them to their advantage, Jolieclone strikes an alliance with Dakota Fanning in order to fight the Supermen. Chipsdownism is born.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 29, 2007, 07:51:39 PM
2059- Skull Diamond stops trying to get Kryptonite, as it turns out that radioactive planet fragments can't stop genetically enhanced humans, even if they do call themselves Supermen. However, he does keep working to get ahold of Doomsday.

Meanwhile, Sideswipe and Franklin look through Junkyard's old notes and uncover the secret to his nanite swarms. While they work to figure out how to best use them to their advantage, Jolieclone strikes an alliance with Dakota Fanning in order to fight the Supermen. Chipsdownism is born.
Skull Diamond is pissed about not the whole Kryptonite thing, but carries on anyways. He sends out more of his Justice League to execute Emperor Fanning for her alliance with his former love, Jolieclone, believing the two are actually lovers
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 29, 2007, 08:15:28 PM
2060- While a battle rages between the Chipsdownians and the Justice League, Jolieclone and Skull Diamond have it out:
"Look, S.D., she's just a friend! In fact, she's not even a friend, she's some bitch who keeps trying to kill me but whom I made an alliance with to fight off the SUPERMEN WHO YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT IN YOUR MACHO LITTLE QUEST HERE! I still have feelings for you, but you're not getting any of this unless you stop acting like a jilted lover! Dumbass!"
Thus chastised, and hopeful of future nookie, Skull Diamond joins his forces with the Chipsdownians to attack Zimbabwe, the Supermen's capital on Earth. Using Kryptonite tipped arrows, which it turns out are really ard to remove, they gain ground on the Supermen.
Unfortunately, they retaliate with a Get Real Bomb, which wipes out the Justice League.
With the battle turned to the Supermen's advantage, they close in on Alliance. Just then, Barbarian and his hordes show up, giving the Allies a boost.
Still losing ground, the Allies fight. Soon, however, Sideswipe and Franklin land in the center of the field and release a nanite swarm which undoes Junkyard's earlier work, making the Supermen normal West Coasteners again. They are quickly overrun by the allies.
As they began to celebrate, the giant War Bots suddenly became operational. The allies stood in mute horror as they realized that the war was lost even as the battle was won.
That is, until the Robot armies of 01 attacked the War Bots, with cries of "FREEDOM IS THE RIGHT OF ALL SENTIENT BEINGS!" Within minutes, the Warbots were reduced to scrap.
Allies now, Sideswipe, Ben Franklin, Jolieclone, Fanning, Skull Diamond, Barbarian, and 01 begin discussing how to rebuild this new world in peace.
Certainly, nothing can go wrong now...


(Sorry for the really long post. The muse struck.)
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 29, 2007, 10:12:11 PM
May, 2060 - Skull Diamond, now with flesh on his face proposes to Jolieclone. Jolieclone accepts, but for unexplained reasons, early one morning she wakes up weeping and leaves to go to the city of the Ancients to pray for Holy. Skull Diamond creates some new friends with the reality machine: Samus, Heathcliffe, and Doctor Heywood Floyd. They befriend Skull Diamond rather quickly and agree to help him in his quest to find his fiance... Skull Diamond regretfully tells his friends that he must leave for a while but will be back to rebuild civilization as soon as possible...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on July 29, 2007, 10:30:40 PM
2060 June - Skull Diamond washes ashore on the beaches of Guam.....He has no memory of who he is or what he is doing.  Samus, Heathcliffe, and Doctor Heywood Floyd find him and fly him up to the moon where they use the not-as-mysterious monolith to help him regain his memory.  Weeks go by and finally the monolith is able to rebuild Skull Diamond's memory....then something odd occurs.  In the middle of the night on the moon, Skull Diamond sleepwalks out to the monolith and urinates on it.  This causes a short in the monolith sending chimpanzees from the Earth's past forward to the present.  The moon is now covered in chimpanzees.  Skull Diamond and his crew are enslaved to the Moon Chimps.........
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 29, 2007, 10:36:21 PM
July 2060 - Skull Diamond has Heywood Floyd fabricate a reality machine in his spare time. Heywood explicitly tells Skull how pissed off he is and they laugh at Heywood's wonderful pun. Samus removes her helmet, revealing her incredible beauty to Skull Diamond. Diamond who is now smitten still tries his best to remain faithful to his one love back on earth. Finishing the device, Skull uses it to bring alternate reality versions of themselves to the moon, as well as the psychotic gorillas from Congo to conquer the chimps while Skull and his friends barely escape in time...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 30, 2007, 04:42:57 AM
2061- Skull Diamond gets back to Earth just in time for something wonderful- In a brilliant flash of light, Jolieclone is Assumed into the Greater Reality she had always preached. A shockwave of light travells over the surface of the Earth, engulfing everyone in it's path with love and understanding. For one brief moment in time, every mind, carbon or silicon, on the planet is connected, every fear and hatered is revealed to be the small, pointless thing it is. When it is over, the leaders of the World, as well as the people, begin work on a functional, cooperative system that falls just short of bringing world peace. They also being re-construction of new, more eco-friendly cities.

Meanwhile, Skull Diamond quietly mourns the loss of Jolieclone. She left him with a message, in her last moments: Be happy. After ordering a monument to be built for her on the place where she was assumed, Skull Diamond asks Samus to dinner.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 30, 2007, 09:37:13 AM
(Thanks for the Happy Ending Junkyard :) )
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 30, 2007, 11:09:29 AM
Are we ending, or are we making way for the next generation of freaks?
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on July 30, 2007, 11:13:41 AM
2061, later that evening - Having accepted Skull Diamond's gracious dinner invitation, Samus and him take a shuttle-craft to the moon.  They decide to dine at the greatest Moon restaurant around called Soylent Pink.  They both have a marvelous time, and things are progressing romantically.  Skull gets up to use the little boy's room.  He walks by the kitchen and notices a ghastly sound coming from the back.  Sensing danger, he rushes to the back of the kitchen where he sees the cook butchering a Moon Chimp.  The sight is disturbing even for a war veteran hero such as him.  Soon he realizes what is in Soylent Pink.  He rushes back out to the dining area, and at the top of his lungs he screams, "Soylent Pink is Yummy!"
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 30, 2007, 01:30:28 PM
2062- Spacecraft appear in radars across the world, howering in orbit with the Moon. They do not appear to be of any Earth based design.

Meanwhile, the Teleporter is invented, and re-vitalization of the Sahara desert is started.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 30, 2007, 03:45:11 PM
2061 - That same magical night, Samus gives Skull DIamond the Heimlich and they kiss.

January 2062 -  Samus and Skull marry and have ten children who for some strange reason turn out to be little skeleton children. They are named Action, Conan, Leonard "Bones" Mccoy, Talia, Clark, Tom, Michelle, Cleo, and Scully. On earth, they are jokingly referred to as the "Les enfants terribles" (Metal Gear Solid reference)
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on July 30, 2007, 04:31:33 PM
2063 - Action Diamond is now 1-year-old.  Unlike most skeletal 1-year-old's he is highly intellegent, and physically superior to all 5-year-old humans.  Action invents his own transporter and unnoticed by his father, Skull, he uses it to teleport down a female Moon Chimp and a male Moon Chimp.  Action forces them to breed with each other, and soon the Moon Chimps multiply.  Action hides the existence of the Moon Chimps from his father, Skull, because he is aware of his father's passion for Soylent Pink take-out.  But the Moon Chimps grow restless.....
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 30, 2007, 05:12:56 PM
2064- Reports of Abductions begin to increase steadily, as more ships begin to collect in the Moon's orbit. The New United Nations (NUN) sends up a ship to investigate and perhaps communicate with the aliens.

Barbarian retires from his office, and places on his throne Shelly Kahn, illigitamate half Fanning half Jolieclone, um, clone.

New York is finished being rebuilt, and now exsists entirely in the branches of a huge Redwood Forest.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on July 30, 2007, 05:15:54 PM
2065 - The Moon Chimps remain restless, but very patient.....
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 30, 2007, 05:24:27 PM
Late 2065- The NUN team sent out a year earlier has not returned, so SpaceArk Sideswipe goes out to confront the aliens in full battle mode. They respond hostily, and he is quickly outnumbered and outgunned. They disable his engines, and blast him at half-light speed out of the solar system.
The aliens start to advance towards Earth, the element of uncertainty eliminated.
Junkyard Starchild, defensive of Earth, attempts to disable the fleet. Unfortunately, they react quickly and detonate an anti amtter bomb at his core, spreading him to the solar winds.
December 29, 11:45 PM (New York Time,) the aliens reach Earth and start a ground and air invasion. Finally, the Moon Chimps show themselves, but their intentions are unkown.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 30, 2007, 07:31:27 PM
January 2066 - Skull Diamond discovers the Moon chimps. Now a vegetarian and not believing in eating meat, releases the Moon chimps back to the wild and untamed jungle that is New York City. Skull Diamond uses his reality machine to make some zoo keepers from National Geographic to keep an eye on the Moon Chimps and creates some clones of Donkey Kong for them so they won't get lonely. Skull Diamond also brings to life Mulder, Scully, Darth Maul and Krusty the Klown in order to investigate and find out if there is any way to halt the impending invasion or at least slow it down...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 30, 2007, 07:47:02 PM
February 2066- Someone informs Skull Diamond that the Aliens have already invaded, and he takes a hover ship to 01 to get help.

Meanwhile, the Aliens begin to plant what look like large antennae at various, equally spaced points across the globe.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on July 30, 2007, 08:31:18 PM
March 2066 -- Dalty Smilth, having become immortal after successfully creating a Philosopher's Stone back in 2009, finally reveals himself to the world in his identity as Professor Chaos with his sidekick, General Disarray.  He then reveals his plan of revenge against the world... a device meant to block out the sun, only to discover that such a device had already been invented on the Simpsons, and then he made the further discovery that South Park had already invented characters called Professor Chaos and General Disarray, as well as the convention of a villain trying to enact a scheme only to discover that the Simpsons had already enacted such a scheme.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on July 30, 2007, 08:33:45 PM
April 2066 - The Moon Chimps are again restless.......
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 30, 2007, 09:17:21 PM
May 2066 - Skull Diamond and his new posse, the Wild Bunch discover that bullets can harm and even kill the space aliens if they are shot with guns. But only Tommy Guns are effective on the aliens. Skull Diamond arms Samus, Scully, Mulder, Daltysmilth, Darth Maul, Krusty, General Disarray and Professor Chaos with Tommy Guns. After accidentally mistaking a house for a space alien and apologizing to the owner,  Hestonclone, Skull Diamond leads his Wild Bunch to Devil's Tower for a final conflict with the space aliens...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 31, 2007, 05:14:13 AM
2067- Skull Diamond and his posse have been prisoners of the aliens for the last year, and their execution is at hand. Scant seconds before the first prisoner is executed, an army of Moon Chimps and Robots break smash through the walls of the Alien's Mothership. After a huge battle, the aliens are decimated, and Earth stands victorious over the Aliens.

After the battle, the Robots and Space Chimps return to 01. It turns out that the lunar primates only speak binary, and are allergic to basically anything NOT plastic, metal, or glass based, which is why they were always so cranky around people, and in the jungles.

The remaining aliens are allowed to intigrate into society, but it will be a long, hard road for them.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 31, 2007, 11:01:48 AM
February 2067 - Reports of Skull Diamond's imprisonment at the alien concentration camps have been greatly exaggerated. What the aliens actually took into custody were cardboard cutouts of Skull Diamond and his Posse. The aliens can't find the real Wild bunch and nobody knows where they are and whether they are still alive or dead...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on July 31, 2007, 12:47:13 PM
2068- Junkyard's diffused essense collects in the ship Sideswipe is currently inhabiting. They both work to bring the ship under control.

Zronk Summerbloom, one of the aliens left stranded after the war, sues McDisney for discrimination when he is turned down for a janitor job. The case finds intself soon brought before the Mega Supreme NUN Court, where it is decided that Aliens are not considered people under the law.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on July 31, 2007, 09:19:01 PM
2069 - Everyone giggles every time someone says what year it is. The presidential primaries are underway in late November, and it's a race between a cardboard standee of Skull Diamond versus a cardboard standee of Sideswipe, both notable heroes during what is now called the "Seems like it lasted 1500 years war". The numbers for both candidates are high and no one can say for sure which cardboard standee will be elected to office...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 01, 2007, 04:37:08 AM
2069, November - It's election day throughout the world.  Everyone is excited to vote for their cardboard standee.  Then out of nowhere the Moon Chimps descend and destroy both cardboard standees in a fit of monkey rage.  The populace is stunned.  Then one gray-haired Moon Chimp approaches the microphones.  He clears his throat, and says in a strange British accent, "Soylent Pink is Moon Chimp!"  Then just as quickly, all the Moon Chimps ascend and disappear.  Everyone shrugs and goes about their day.  The bars re-open and things return to normal.  But everyone assumes the Moon Chimps are still restless.......
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 01, 2007, 05:06:18 AM
2070- With Skull Diamond's Cutout in office, new Alien Rights bills are gaining more acceptance in congresses around the world, but they're still not very sucsessful.
It does not help the cause when Glorfnox Sulfursmith attempts to assassinate Pope 0091354, the first robot in the Papacy.

Meanwhile, Sideswipe and Junkyard are able to steer themselves into orbit around a Class M planet. While effecting repairs, they find that planet is both uninhabited by intelligent beings,  and perfect for human living. They are able to blast off back to Earth, and spend the rest of the way back arguing whether to call the planet "Junkyardia" or "Sideswipeiton."
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 01, 2007, 01:22:12 PM
2071 - Over the ensuing year, Junkyard's and Sideswipe's argument over the name of their jointly discovered planet ends when they decide to name it Bettertommorowamyicanite in honor of their mentor and spiritual advisor, Bettertomorrowamy.  During the year many colonists arrive on Bettertommorowamyicanite, or as they like to call it, Romulus.  Soylent Pink sets up a chain of franchise restaurants on Romulus.  Romulan colonists love Moon Chimp meat, and soon Moon Chimps are brought to Romulus and are slaughtered by the thousands daily.  The Romulan people take to calling Moon Chimps Remans.  But as usual....the Moon Chimps grow restless....
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 01, 2007, 02:39:37 PM
2072- On Romulus, Junkyard and Sideswipe's electronic conciousnesses decide to take up permanent residence on the planet, Sideswipe managing the "Northern" Hemisphere, and Junkyard taking the "Southern" Hemisphere. Because the Southern Hemisphere is borderline uninhabitable, most of the Alien refugees on Earth are moved there.

The Moon Monkeys grow even more restless.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 01, 2007, 02:44:45 PM
Late 2072 -- The moon chimps try drinking some warm milk to help with the restlessness.  Meanwhile, Daltysmilth AKA Professor Chaos is appointed Supreme Evil Overlord Of The Universe.  There's no actual evil involved, that's just the official title of the head of the Peace Corps now.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 01, 2007, 02:53:13 PM
2073- The Aliens, with Junkyard's help, begin to thrive on Romulus.

Late 2073- Jetty Starfire Skin Trade, Skull Diamond's clone daughter, messes with her father's reality machine thing, and accidentally brings Godzilla, Gamera, Mothra, King Ghidorah, and GINO into the real world.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 01, 2007, 05:37:00 PM
2074 - The warm milk has soothed the Moon Chimps......for now.  They will however, rise again.  As long as Soylent Pink exists in the galaxy, they have informed me that their restlessness can never be FULLY soothed.  In other news, Romulus has become a striving metropolis.  The Peace Corps has taken complete control of the populace.  Their every desire is being met.  Godzilla shows up from time to time, but only for a latte and then he's out.  Gamera can be an insufferable bastard, and many times Moon Chimps are sacrificed to him to keep him at bay.  The Romulans' scientists have just begun building their first cloaking devices, but no one sees a future in them.  Slowly the warm milk supplies are dwindling.  The Peace Corps has ordered fresh DNA samples from Earth so that they may clone more cows for milk.  They have sent Mothra in the Millenium Falcon to retrieve the DNA.........
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 01, 2007, 05:42:05 PM
2075- Cyclof Longjumper is elected the first alien Mayor of Romulus.

01 captures and tames King Ghidorah.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 01, 2007, 05:55:18 PM
2076 -- Daltysmilth declares that palindromes are now legal tender.  Many suspect that he's slowly turning insane, but really he's just bored.  Also, in order to celebrate America's Tri-Centennial, the moon chimps stage a surprisingly poignant production of 1776.  There is not a dry eye in the theatre when the curtain closes as the founding fathers sign the Declaration of Independence, as well as what they believe are their own death warrants.  Meanwhile, the New York Mets and the New York Yankees finally resolve their differences and unite to become the New York Devastators.  Thus begins a reign of terror the likes of which the world hasn't seen since they decided to make sequels to American Pie.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 01, 2007, 06:01:56 PM
2077- The Devastators, showing more resourcefulness than their occupations would suggest, release a virus into 01 that causes the robots to feel self righteousness, figuring that it would cause them to turn on each other. Unfortunately for the Devestators, the robots immediately turn their new self righteousness anger on them.

As the new year ends, the world sees a threat they had long saw coming.... a threat they thought had been averted.... a threat that opens up the possibility of human extinction.... the Rise of the Machines.

(Also, the Moon Chimps are restless again.)
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 01, 2007, 07:12:11 PM
December 2077 - The Devastators turn on each other and then apologize to each other by singing the Robert Palmer song "I didn't mean to turn on you".

January 2078 - Jetty Starfire Skin Trade, my clone daughter has used the Reality machine to re-populate sections of the world with characters from The Simpsons and South Park. Everytime someone asks her to make people from the family guy universe, she creates the ghost of departed Anti-Family guy fanboys to inhabit their bodies.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 01, 2007, 07:20:46 PM
2078- What's left of the Devestators bravely tries to hold back the Robot invasion, but within minutes, they all are cut down. Everyone; The humans, the aliens, the Fictionals- they all send armies to try and stop the Robots as they advance, with little sucsess.
Suddenly, the robots are faced with an army of Moon Chimps. The robots draw their weapons, but instead of fighting, the chimps start to shake themselves vigorously, releasing an odd glowing dust from their pelts. When the dust reaches the robots, they all start mellowing out, laughing loudly, playing guitars badly, and looking for White Castle Resturants. Meanwhile, their anti-virus software deletes the Devestator's virus from their systems.
Everyone agrees that this was the trippiest war in history.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 01, 2007, 07:33:11 PM
January 2078 - The reality machine turns into a living entity... It declares itself God and randomly creates characters from alternate realities for its own entertainment... This will be come to be called "The Fictional war". The leaders of the "good" faction are my son Action "Diamond" jackson and the leaders of the "bad" side are Skeletor, Jayce and the Wheeled warriors.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 05:07:20 AM
2079- The Fictional War comes to a bloody end when Action Diamond, unearths an old "Get Real Ray," and uses it to make a Pragmatism Bomb, which then wipes out every Fictional charicter on Earth, including the Reality Machine. Because he himself is half fictional, Action is suprised to find that only his left arm and left butt cheek ended up disintigrating. Samus and Skull Diamond were fortunately on Romulus at this point.

Late in the year, a company called "Genetiful" unveils it's cosmetic gene manipulation service, which can offer anything from blue hair to fat reducing metabolisms to rippling muscles to gravity defying breasts. People are for the most part enthousiastic about this, having forgotten their earlier worries about misuse of the technology.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 02, 2007, 10:06:06 AM
2080 -- Rumors start flying around the since the introduction of Genetiful's gene manipulation device, increasing numbers of people have started dying and coming back to life as mindless, flesh-eating creatures.  Genetiful is adamant that there's no correlation between these events.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 10:39:32 AM
2081- Most of Asia has been either zombified or evacuated, and a Second Great Wall, the Awesome Wall, is built to contain them. It does it's job, for the most part, but millions have been left homeless.

Things are no friendlier on Romulus, as a giant, ravenous monster is created when a Genetiful technician, mixing up paperwork, accidentally tries to give an alien cat ears using the human cat ear code. Godzilla is teleported in, and the two monsters fight. Godzilla manages to beat the monster unconcious, but they smashed through much of Sideswipe city to do it.
The monster, now called Catorix, is teleported to Earth, behind the Awesome Wall.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 06:25:09 PM
By the way, a couple of visuals I pulle dout of my.... hat.
The Aliens, and the Robots of 01, as I picture them:
(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1342/991848624_3e7d048c37_o.jpg)

Also, a restless Moon Chimp:
(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1120/991848608_76dbb82e71_o.jpg)

(Thanks to Family Guy.)
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 02, 2007, 06:45:15 PM
Excellent, it's all coming together in my mind now.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 06:57:42 PM
By the way, for the Genetiful Zombies, just imagine an army of half rotted Sailor Moons, complete with ridiculously large eyes and long, toothpick legs. JAPAN, WHAT HATH THOU WROUGHT!?
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 02, 2007, 07:14:23 PM
Did you pinkify the Moon Chimp or is that how it came?
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 07:23:16 PM
I pinkified it, and reddened the eyes. Someone add 2082, people!
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 02, 2007, 07:33:12 PM
2082 - Bananas grow scarce throughout the solar system.  The Moon Chimps DO NOT LIKE this situation.  It arouses them from their restless stupor.  Moon Chimp scouts are sent out to other star systems in hopes of finding banana-like vegetation on another world.  The Soylent PInk corporation has been secretly stealing all the bananas in the solar system for feeding their breeding stock of Moon Chimps.  One lone corporate whistleblower, named Princess Leia, has chosen to bring this important data to the Moon Chimps attention.  She has set out from the Soylent Pink home system with two droids and a bunch of worthless bodyguards to bring this information to Romulus.  A sand-hating Soylent Pink vice-president has been tasked with capturing her.  The Moon Chimps are ignorant of what awaits them, but they remain hopefully restless.......
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 02, 2007, 07:53:18 PM
(Hopefully restless? hmmmm... Fair enough.)

2083- Catorix is found to be absorbing any Zombies it comes across. This complicates things, as a cure for zombism is found, but can't be put into use until there is no more risk of the zombie eating the cured zombie sand mutating more.
Meanwhile, the Soylent hating Vice president decides to use a teleporter to transport the Moon Chimps behind the Awesome wall, to be eaten by either the zombies or Catorix. Fortunately, they are only mildly suprised when they are suddenly confronted by a huge, enraged Catorix. Hopping up on each other's shoulders, they start wailing in musical union. This calms down Catorix, and in another moment, the Chimps' wailing increases in frequency. A later, they, along with Catorix, are eleported to Soylent Pink's headquarters.
Within an hour, the captive chimps are freed, and the Soylent Pink organization is in tatters, all of it's buildings rubble, all of it's top people dead.
Catorix, eating what is left of the soylent, suddenly starts to break down into the people it absorbed, now all cured of zombism. All that is left at the center is a confused alien with cat ears.

Catorix gone and defeated, the cure is administered to the people of Asia. However, a few of the Zombies who developed intelligence decide they like who they are now, and start an underground society.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 03, 2007, 11:57:12 AM
2085 - Poochie the dog is made president by the Kennel Club of America, who are composed of a lot of dogs. Poochie claims to want peace and prevent more Zombiism, but behind the curtains, he really desires to take over every alternate reality in existence.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 03, 2007, 12:55:43 PM
2086 -- It is discovered that when the Zombie disease hits someone with super powers, for some reason the disease does not affect their mind.  Although they will still attack and try to eat any non-zombified person who comes near them if they have not fed in at least 24 hours.  A Superhero Zombie, who was in life known as "Mr. Perfect" throws his hat in the ring to be the next president of Earth.  His platform: "A spacecar in every garage, a chicken in every pot, and the flesh of the living in every Zombie's mouth."
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Tripe on August 03, 2007, 12:59:56 PM
2087 - Mr Zombie Perfect having been deemed to be "not something you'd want at a neighbourhood cookout" watches from his cage as President Beer Cooler is sworn into office.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 03, 2007, 03:39:14 PM
2088- Hollywood finally dies an undignified death when the trailer for an action film based on "Monty Python's Flying Circus" is shown before "Underworld 13: Vampire Boogaloo." After seeing Suri Cruise as a Gumby riding a CGI Spiney Howard, the viewing public burns down Hollywood in a rage.

Though honestly, Beowulf Barrymore looked like he was going to give a good preformance.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 03, 2007, 09:37:21 PM
2089 -- Daltysmilth vows to rebuild Hollywood and restore it to its former glory.  Like it was before Michael Bay and Brett Ratner.  Meanwhile Mr. Zombie Perfect escapes his cage and he and the rest of the Zombies disappear.  However, though it feels like it should be a source of relief, most people are more worried than ever about this turn of events.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 04, 2007, 05:35:43 AM
2090- In Hollywood's place has grown a new, dynamic, and inspired set of movie makers in the Zombie Underground.

On Romulus, a war starts between the South and North. It is settled quickly when Sideswipe and Junkyard, materializing giant robot hands, have a sissy slap fight that ends with them crying and then having some tea.

With the world short on some key metals, Argentina decides to send a team to live on and mine Mercury. The workers are first genetically modified by the now almost defunct Gentiful Co to live in Mercury's extreme environmnt, then sent off with well supplied ships. The first shipments of new metal is expected within two years.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on August 04, 2007, 12:58:27 PM
2091 - ChaosFromOrder dies of natural causes at the extremely old age of 120-something. Being a recluse living in the wilderness of Canada, he went through his entire life knowing absolutely NOTHING about the wars that have raged across Earth and Mars for the last 90 years. It turned out that his Internet connection was just a complex AI program that his geek friend wrote. ChaosFromOrder spent the last 85 years of his life believing he was participating in a series of forum games that were actually randomly generated scripts... he didn't even have an internet connection. His death goes unnoticed by the rest of the world, since they assumed he had died 86 years ago when he suddenly stopped showing up for work.

Meanwhile, cheaply made but highly efficient Japanese robots from the year 2991 travel back in time to warn the world that the Moon Chimps have once again grown restless, and a brand new terror is dawning just around the corner. Unbeknownst to the inhabitants of Earth and Mars, the mining operations on Mercury are not going as planned...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 04, 2007, 03:13:31 PM
2092- It turns out Mercury was one huge sentient being all along, and attempts to drill into it for mining piss it off. It begins to head towards Earth.

Knowing how little time Earth has, plans are made to turn the planet so that 01's Giant Lazer Cannon, (rememebr that?), will be pointed towards Mercury when it comes into range.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 04, 2007, 08:30:11 PM
2093 -- Scientists discover that Mercury, despite being named after the fastest god, moves astonishingly slowly.  They estimate that at the current rate, it will take 85 years for Mercury to reach the Earth.  However no one seems to notice that in their calculations, the scientists forgot to carry the 1...

 
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 04, 2007, 08:43:32 PM
2094- Project MST2094 is put into operation. A clever everyman is put into a sattalite with two 01 robots and forced to watch bad movies.

A secret organization or Romulans, both Human and Alien, fed up with the racial fighting that has plagued thier society for decades, hires a renegade scientist from Genetiful to create a gene altering virus that will turn the residents of Romulus into human/alien hybrids. It was delivered into the public drinking water by none other than the all present city controllers, Sideswipe and Junkyard, the organization's founding members.
Thus begins a strange time in the history of Romulus.

Meanwhile, Mercury continues to move towards Earth, picking up speed gradually.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on August 04, 2007, 09:06:24 PM
2095 - The mutagenetic solvent placed into the water supply turns out to actually be a love potion, which makes it so that the most attractive being in the world to anyone who drinks it is the opposite sex of the opposite species. In the summer of '95, the first human / alien hybrids are born. For some reason, every single one of them looks like Charles Bronson.

This ain't over...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 05, 2007, 05:54:53 AM
2096- Mercury gets near Earth ahead of schedule. 01, with the blessing of the New United Nations, fires it's city sized laser cannon at the small planet, to little effect. It just gets more aggravated and picks up speed. It approaches earth, and with a swift motion,
(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1304/1016475181_630e460758_o.jpg)
It then promptly turns and starts flying slowly back in the direction it came from.
Even though large portions of 01 were destroyed, earthquakes and volcanes shook for months after, and weather patterns were completely altered across the globe, everyone agreed that it could have gone a lot worse.

Meanwhile, Project MST2094 hits an odd snag, as during the Mercury incident, the Satellite gets pulled into orbit around Mercury.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on August 07, 2007, 03:51:04 PM
2097 - Absolutely nothing happened, which tends to make the historians feel rather foolish.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 07, 2007, 05:24:28 PM
2098 -- Daltysmilth successfully tests his history-erasing ray, erasing everything interesting that happened in the year 2097.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 07, 2007, 05:44:24 PM
2099- It is discovered that the new generation of Romulan Hybrids all have some degree of psychic powers, ranging from telekenisis to telepathy to precognition to postcognition. Fortunately, the Hybrids have generally been observed to be of a much calmer nature than either the Humans or the Aliens.

The rebuilt and struggling New Hollywood attempts to cash in on the sucsess of the Indipendent Zombie Underground Studios, (IZUS,) by making a romantic comedy where all the actors wear fake scars, grey contact lenses, and green face paint. It is generally considered to be one of the most offensive movies of the year.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on August 07, 2007, 07:50:17 PM
2100 - Earth has reached the galaxy's legal drinking age. The planet goes on a HUGE yearlong bender, and wakes up next to a very ugly planet it doesn't recognize on January 1st, 2101.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 07, 2007, 07:53:16 PM
2101- Colonozation starts on Earth's new moon, Hangoveran.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 07, 2007, 09:06:52 PM
2102 -- Daltysmilth sets his history-erasing ray to wipe out the period of time between 476 and 1000 A.D.  This had been a period which had in another timeline been a period of great discovery and technological and societal advancement, but all memory of history between that time had been modified so that people believed that nothing much happened, and would later be given the name "The Dark Ages", while the period of technological and societal and cultural advancement was postponed for several hundred years and named "The Renaissance".
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 08, 2007, 06:57:23 AM
2103- A rescue mission is hatched for the Project MST2094 satilite. It will take a year to get to Mercury, where they're going to have to tow the satilite without waking the planet up.

The Black Skull, one of Skull Diamond's sons, steals the History Eraser, and starts making his plans.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Sharktopus on August 08, 2007, 07:08:34 AM
2098 -- Daltysmilth successfully tests his history-erasing ray, erasing everything interesting that happened in the year 2097.

Oddly, the entire 2097 season of Saturday Night Live remains unscathed.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 09, 2007, 08:44:45 PM
2104 - Black Skull reads a post from the year 2007 written on the Rifftrax.com forum that reads as follows:

Luckily for me and a substantial portion of the populace, that is completely false. And good thing it is: if our government, throughout the course of its history, had been run that way, every non-straight, non-white person you've ever met would be DEAD (if they'd been born at all). I suggest you read the U.S. Constitution and the Federalist Papers; it is VERY clear that our country's Founders knew what an inhuman abomination democracy truly is, and that this country becoming one was their greatest fear.

He tries to jive that comment with this one:

The only things government should EVER be responsible for are national defense, policing of crime and (possibly) firefighting. Any other "function" of government is an abrogation of its rightful moral authority.

Black Skull has read his history and knows that the former United States was governed by a Democratic-Republic.  Black Skull decides to use his history eraser to erase the entire forum of totalitarian comments like these.  Black Skull knows that this kind of thinking is what creates a sheeplike citizenry, and is what lead to the destruction of the United States.  Black Skull hopes that by erasing these forum posts and saving John Conner he will change the future.

Meanwhile, the Moon Chimps are developing their ultimate solution to the Soylent Pink corporation's genocide....
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on August 09, 2007, 08:51:21 PM
2105 - through the use of subtle viral marketing, the Moon Chimps begin to leak 2 simple words into media across the entire solar system, and by the end of the year, everybody is talking about... Soylent White.

It is coming.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 10, 2007, 04:32:38 AM
2106- The Moon Chimps, after kidnapping some Genetiful engeneers, release a virus into the world's oceans that gives Dolphins hands and legs.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 10, 2007, 11:01:58 AM
2106 -- Immediately after discovering the dolphins' rapid evolution, humanity collectively says "Oh shit."
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 10, 2007, 02:25:07 PM
2107 - Soon the evolved dolphins develop a strange desire to entertain the Moon Chimps by building their own monster trucks.  Then things get weird.....  Evo-Dolphins begin to perform elaborate monster truck shows where humans are chained up in large colloseums in front of crowds of Moon Chimps.  The Evo-Dolphins run over and kill all humans to the delight of the Moon Chimps.  But the Moon Chimps grow restless with these horrendous acts of dolphin-on-human violence.  They decide to create an actual product for their viral marketing scheme.  The Moon Chimps decide to bring the galaxy Soylent White for real.  They sell their formula for Soylent White to their evil nemesis the Soylent PInk Corporation.  A lone Moon Chimp scientist named Dr. Zaius decides to tell the world that Soylent White is made of Evo-Dolphins, but no-one seems to care and it actually improves sales.  The Moon Chimps buy a remote solar system within the Horseshoe Nebula, and retire on their Soylent White earnings
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on August 10, 2007, 04:22:50 PM
2108 - Everyone agrees that, although they are glad to see the back of the Moon Chimps once and for all, they sure were crafty bastards. With the crisis of the Evo-Dolphins rapidly diminishing as Soylent White skyrockets in popularity, the Earth and Mars are (relatively) safe once again.

For now...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 11, 2007, 05:35:20 AM
2109- The Romulan Hybrid Children have gotten weirder and weirder. They now begin to sing in unison while standing perfectly still, strange energies flowing across the planet between them. This keeps going for the rest of the year.

The rescue mission to Mercury is a sucsess, but Tracy, the MST2094 pilot, has been strangley effected by the radiation he got from being so near the sun for so long.

The Evo-Dolphins look for sanctuary in 01.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 11, 2007, 10:32:11 AM
April 2109 -- Numerous people and groups of people begin to spontaneously burst into fully orchestrated songs about what they're doing, or what they plan to do, what their jobs are, or what they're thinking or feeling at that moment in time, complete with long, elaborate, Busby Berkely dances in many cases.  This leaves people feeling somewhat disturbed.  Clearly something sinister is at work, but what, no one can say yet...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 12, 2007, 08:20:09 AM
2110- The world realizes how much better off it is now that everyone lives in song and dance. The Hybrids are found to be at fault, and given Nobel Peace Prizes.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Tripe on August 14, 2007, 09:48:31 AM
2111 - Having lain dormant for over a century the remaining Hello Killy Comandos begin  to stir.

(http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/9753/hk40kps3.jpg)
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 14, 2007, 09:56:12 AM
2112 -- The president is kidnapped, and unfortunately, a nationwide search is unable to locate any dudes of sufficient badness to rescue him.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 14, 2007, 11:52:44 AM
2113- A large portion of the Zombie Underground and the Kitty Comandos battle in the Gobi desert. The battle seems to go in the Zombie's favor, until the HKC unleash their secret weapon: The Zombie Cure. Suddely mortal again, the former zombies are cut down.

Fortunately for all of humanity, right before the HKC's breach the Awesome Wall of China, the President, having faked his own kidnapping, skydives in, wearing a nanite bomb. The Kitty Comandos are destroyed, but the nanites, which were supposed to dismantle themselves after the job was done, break with thier programing. They form themselves into a starship, and head towards Romulus.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 19, 2007, 12:07:23 AM
2114 - The Moon Chimps grow restless with this thread.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 19, 2007, 06:14:20 AM
2115- The Romulan Hybrid Children, now awkward teens, become aware of the oncoming nanite swarm, and realize their true purpose. They levitate out of the planet's atmosphere and confront the nanites. They destroy the nanites, but in so doing they exaust their powers, having barely enough to levitate back to the planet's surface. They are finaly able to have normal lives. Except that they're, you know... half human and half alien. That can screw kids up.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 19, 2007, 07:51:32 PM
December 2115 - The Psychlos try to invade but the entire army is defeated by 3 kids armed with slingshots.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 19, 2007, 08:13:03 PM
2116- A documentary is released by the Zombie Underground about the truth behind the Soylent Conspiracies. Public Outrage forces the issue into the open, and court trials begin to sort out the mess. Meanwhile, Soylent considers how they may avenge themselves against the Zombies.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 19, 2007, 08:29:15 PM
2117 - The Moon Chimps get their hands on the reality machine and create a mafia from all the characters in the Godfather movies in an attempt to take over the world... again.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 19, 2007, 08:37:50 PM
2118- After having 90% of their population destroyed by the Reality Machine Mafia, who apparently did not like the idea of being bossed around by monkeys, the Moon Chimps retreat to the Moon to recoup.
Meanwhile, Soylent tries to retalliate against the Zombie Underground (specifically Zombywood,) by doing an expose on Zombies. Unfotunately for Soylent, everybody already knew they feed on the living.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 20, 2007, 03:20:29 PM
2119 -- The world celebrates as the most beloved crime-fighting duo in the world returns to the big screen with the release of Sam & Max Hit The Road: The Movie is finally released.  Though it follows the game pretty faithfully, audiences are a bit stunned at how many hardcore sex scenes the producers managed to fit into the thing.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: AmazingThor on August 20, 2007, 05:53:14 PM
2120 - Dick Clark hosts his farewell New Years Eve Special
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 20, 2007, 05:55:51 PM
2121 - Dick Clark hosts his farewell New Years Eve Special
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on August 20, 2007, 08:04:44 PM
2122 - Dick Clark hosts his "last time together" reunion tour New Year's Eve Special.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 20, 2007, 08:14:54 PM
2123- Dick Clark declares himself Dictator of Earth.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 20, 2007, 08:19:31 PM
2124 - Dick Clark hosts his farewell New Year's Eve Special all in Spanish.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on August 20, 2007, 08:25:26 PM
2125 - The citizens of Earth (none of whom ever actually WATCH the Dick Clark New Year's specials) finally realize that Dick Clark declared himself Dictator of Earth two years ago, and rise up against him. Dick Clark is quickly killed, but it turns out that this particular Dick Clark was a synthetic clone created by the Soylent Pink corporation, who were planning to use him to pass strict seafood regulation laws and put the Soylent White corporation out of business.

Even though the plan was foiled, the Moon Chimps become restless when they learn the details of Operation: Dick Clark.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 20, 2007, 08:29:15 PM
2126- Robo Hawkings discovers a way to funnel pure solar matter directly to earth in order to finally solve our energy problems. Construction on an energy transference bridge is undertaken.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 20, 2007, 08:36:17 PM
2127 - Spanish language Dick Clark clone unleashes his Final Solution program initiated by the Soylent Pink corporation.  Operation Sabado Gigante!  It's goal:  to rid the universe of the restless Moon Chimps once and for all.  A little known fact about the Moon Chimps is that they detest Spanish cable programming.  Spanish Dick Clark barages their onclave with Spanish Soap Operas and Bumble Bee Man programming.  Their numbers depleted due to mass suicides, the remaining flee the galaxy.  We restlessly await the return of the Moon Chimps........
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 24, 2007, 10:34:11 PM
2128 - The Monolith erases the past 150 years. The year is still the same, but temporally speaking, it is the year 1978.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Jackster on August 25, 2007, 05:53:01 AM
2129 (aka 1979-2) - The Monolith's effect managed to bring back the popularity of disco and the afro-style that would last another decade.

Meanwhile, the Monolith also managed to bring Christhoper Reeve, Chuck Jones, and Princess Diana (now at the age of 18) back from the dead.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 25, 2007, 11:26:11 AM
2130 - The Empire Strikes Back is released... and this version is actually better than the one we all know and love.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 25, 2007, 02:32:59 PM
2131 - Lucas' clone decides to update the recently released 2130 version of Empire Strikes Back.  Instead of Vader being Luke's father, he has Vader tell Luke that Chewie is his father.  Also, Vader informs Luke that kissing your sister is considered incest.  The movie takes a strange slant, but in the future incest is common among the spacefaring elite due to the lack of fertile women, so most people enjoy this version.  Lucas also adds a scene where Luke gets to second base with Leia.  Audiences love it.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: AmazingThor on August 26, 2007, 06:17:36 AM
The citizens of Earth, realizing that they now must relive the 1980s, file a class action lawsuit against the Monolith.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on August 26, 2007, 06:25:02 AM
2133- The Monolith reveals that he was in fact Old Mister Farnsworth, dressing up as a Monolith, and that the time reversal thing was just some of his agents planting disco balls and wearing historical figure costumes.
"I'd have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you darn lawyers!"

A group, realizing it was 2133, get impatient for the post- apocolypes, and decide to just start riding rusty motorcycles through the desert and wearing animal skins. The New Sooners, as people call them, grow in popularity.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 26, 2007, 01:23:14 PM
July 2133-The Motorcycle gang soon have a new rival who have called themselves "The New Originals" and they also compete with another Biker gang called "Hell's Satans"
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 26, 2007, 01:45:32 PM
2134 - The citizens of Earth's class action lawsuit is thrown out, and the Monolith's counter suit is granted forcing all of the citizens of Earth to recognize The Moon Chimps as their rightful superiors.  The Soylent Pink corporation is confisgated by the Moon Chimps, but it is so profitable that they decide to continue killing lower class Moon Chimps for Soylent Pink.  The citizens of Earth grow restless....
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 26, 2007, 04:43:32 PM
2135 -- Daltysmilth announces his plans to remake the Star Wars Prequels so that they're actually good.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on August 26, 2007, 04:51:12 PM
July 2135 - daltysmith, having trouble with his scripts and unable to afford to hire George Lucas (or any of his various clones), decides to hire Lucas's non-union Mexican equivalent, Jorge Lucha, to help with the writing and special effects. Under daltysmith's watchful eye (to prevent history repeating), pre-production on the prequels begins...
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 26, 2007, 04:59:35 PM
August 2135 - Principal Skin Trade, back from his long trip to the end of the galaxy returns to Earth to help Daltysmith craft the Star Wars prequels into the greatest films of all time that rival even the original Star Wars trilogy in terms of greatness.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 26, 2007, 05:14:54 PM
Oscar Night 2136 -- Daltysmilth's Star Wars: Episode I remake sweeps the Academy Awards.  Running out of people to thank after his 15th time up to the stage, Daltysmilth begins making up names on the spot.  Among those shown gratitude are "Whistlin'" Dixie, Brenda Raenetti, Flapjack Williams, I. C. Wiener, I. Byu Profen, Auntie Disestablishmentarianism, P.O. Box, Nap Napperly, Hen-Wren Sue, The Estate Of Antonio, and Mike And The Mechanics.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on August 26, 2007, 05:24:37 PM
Oscar Night 2136 -- Daltysmilth's Star Wars: Episode I remake sweeps the Academy Awards.  Running out of people to thank after his 15th time up to the stage, Daltysmilth begins making up names on the spot.  Among those shown gratitude are "Whistlin'" Dixie, Brenda Raenetti, Flapjack Williams, I. C. Wiener, I. Byu Profen, Auntie Disestablishmentarianism, P.O. Box, Nap Napperly, Hen-Wren Sue, The Estate Of Antonio, and Mike And The Mechanics.
Don't forget "Anita Bath", "Oliver Closeoff", "Homer Sexual", "Ivanna Tinkle", and of course "Hugh Jazz".
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on August 26, 2007, 09:46:30 PM
Othe people Daltysmilth thanked include Big Shirtless Ron, Dexter the Dexterous, The Craptaculator, Mary Bobarry, Cracklin' Rosie, I.P. Freely, Nanucket Nancy, The Force Known As Gerald, That Big Ugly Prat, Maestro Muddie Mae Suggins, Joey "Fish-Lips" Sartacchi, and Javelin... Just Javelin.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on August 26, 2007, 10:00:20 PM
Oh and Hayden Christiansen.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Jackster on August 27, 2007, 05:01:14 PM
2137 - Scientists have found a way to make humans live longer up to eternity. The process is through surgery where surgeons cut off the patient's head and place then inside jars with oxygen-breathing water.

(http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/8035/davidheadinjarusethisac0.gif)
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Principal_Skin-trade on September 01, 2007, 12:46:01 AM
2138 - David X. Cohen, Former writer and Executive Producer of Futurama wants to do another Futurama series, but seeing as how it's already the future, he changes directions and makes "Past-O-Rama", a series about a smart guy from the future named Burger who travels into the past by accident and has to live in contemporary 22nd century society, which is very primitive, what with drugs that instantly cure AIDS and every type of cancer known to man, as well as brain implant MP3 players and In-home movie theaters which even the poorest of people can afford.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 07, 2007, 05:39:51 PM
2139- The Moon is discovered to have a molten cheese core.

Digital Jolie, having gained self awareness during one of the Nanite plagues, claims herself to be Jolieclone the Savior, and gathers a flock of the more gullible of Jolieclone's followers to worship her.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on September 07, 2007, 07:53:58 PM
2140 -- The AFI re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-releases their Top 100 Movies Of All Time list.  Oddly enough, the number 1 spot is now occupied by the first Short Circuit movie.  Flight Of The Navigator comes in at number 2.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 08, 2007, 07:07:22 AM
2141- The Romulans, realizing that they were named after a race from Star Trek, which in turn were named over- ironically after a Roman Myth, fall into a year long depression.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 08, 2007, 02:55:44 PM
2142- The Romulans emerge from their self-imposed funk, and anounce a year long House Party featuring the re-animated corpses of Kid-n-Play!
Attendance is light all year long.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 08, 2007, 08:41:19 PM
2143- Efficent terraforming technology is finally developed, and within months, 4 new planetary colonies are being developed.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 08, 2007, 11:07:59 PM
2144 - The new terraforming technology ends up not being so efficient.  All 4 colonies experience sharp death rates, and all their grapefruit disappear mysteriously.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: James T. Kirk on September 08, 2007, 11:25:32 PM
2145 - Still not born yet.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 09, 2007, 05:39:23 AM
2146- Getting impatient for Kirk's birth, Hyperevolution, Genetiful's heir apparent, engineers a proto-Kirk. Within months, thousands are dead. In retrospect, everyone was a little embarrassed by how long it took them to figure out the comon factor to all deaths: They were wearing red shirts.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 09, 2007, 07:41:40 AM
2147 - Hyper-intelligent corn destroys the entire state of Iowa, thus James Kirk will never be born.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 09, 2007, 07:56:33 AM
2148- The first Transvestite Pope is elected.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Sideswipe on September 09, 2007, 09:27:25 AM
2149- Aragron, son of Arathorn kills Trannypope and turns his religious fanatics into a crusader army and begins a crusade upond whats left of Europe in the 22nd century.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 09, 2007, 09:31:27 AM
2150- Aragron declares chocolate immoral and illegal. Within hours, his armies turn against him. His head is stuck on a pike, and his former army put Trannypope's brain into a robot body.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on September 09, 2007, 09:26:23 PM
2151 - A new pope is finally elected. He takes the name "New Pope," and changes his clothing into an outrageous and livid red. New Pope is extremely unpopular, making bizarre and unnerving proclamations, including the announcement that blue is a sin unto the lord, root vegetables are evil, and all computers must be constructed using only tin.

Due to the unpopularity of New Pope, the Vatican have him executed, and using cloning technology purchased from the Soylent Pink corporation, they rebirth Trannypope, who takes the name of "Classic Pope." The new (old) Classic Pope is met with wild enthusiasm and adoration by the public, and Catholicism becomes a single, unified religion of love and tolerance throughout the entire solar system.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 10, 2007, 09:43:17 AM
2152- The Inheritors, a race of aliens from the Andromida Galaxy, stop over to Earth to point out that they don't believe in Catholocism, and ask Earth to please stop claiming it's the religion of the Universe.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on September 10, 2007, 10:14:38 AM
2153 -- The remake of Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever sweeps the Academy Awards.  It's been a slow year for movies.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 11, 2007, 08:46:26 PM
2154 - Britiney Spears' re-animated corpse discovers a time machine.  She uses it to travel back to the year 2007.  Once there, she convinces her past self not to take those qualudes before her comeback performance on the MTV Video Music Awards.  2007 Britiney performs that night slightly better than what history recorded originally.  Because of this Britney Spears' re-animated corpse never feels the need to go back in time, and so history never changes.  Her children still grow up to become evil nuclear scientists who start World War 4.  All is right with history.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 11, 2007, 08:52:16 PM
2155- Britney, quickly declares World Wars 3 and 4, just to make sure the timestream doesn't go "pthbb."
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 11, 2007, 09:00:12 PM
2156 - The time stream goes pthbb.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 11, 2007, 09:08:13 PM
2157- After opening a cosmic window, Earth tries again with the terraforming, starting with an ambitious project- Jupiter.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 11, 2007, 09:09:14 PM
2158 - Jupiter goes pthbb.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on September 12, 2007, 06:19:09 AM
2159 - scienticians find the glitch in their code that caused their terraforming control software to make planets go "pthbb." The erroneous code read as follows:

Code: [Select]
If myTarget Is Object Then
     Call pthbbObject()
End If

After hastily removing the offending lines of code, the scienticians are ready to attempt to both recreate and properly terraform Jupiter.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 12, 2007, 01:16:41 PM
2159- The terraforming is almost completely done, and the first cities begin to be built.
The first 3,000 babies are born/constructed on Jupiter in this first year.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 12, 2007, 01:40:23 PM
2160 - Junkyard finally realizes that Jupiter went pthbb, and the terraforming was complete disaster.  Why would anyone consider terraforming a gas giant where the temperatures, gravity, and air pressure are so great they could crush a man into an atom?
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 12, 2007, 08:29:25 PM
BECAUSE IT'S THERE! DUH!

2160- Jupiter, (now only about a fourth of it's original size after it's gasses were transformed and compressed, and with gravity reducing stations placed evenly along the surface, are you happy now Amy,) celebrates the creation of it's first forest.

One little problem that occurs as a result of reducing Jupiter's size and gravity: A metior the size of Rhode Island suddenly  is redirected towards Earth. Oops!
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 12, 2007, 09:28:03 PM
2161 - Terraforming on Jupiter is haulted when it is determined that there really is not reason to live on a gas giant.  Jupiter would make a great source of fuel if in this year we have a way to extract gases from planet's atmospheres.  Maybe a Bussard collector like on the 20th centuries Star Trek program.  Jupiter is about 90% hydrogen and 10% helium (by numbers of atoms, 75/25% by mass) with traces of methane, water, ammonia and "rock".  Jupiter probably has a core of rocky material amounting to something like 10 to 15 Earth-masses.  Above the core lies the main bulk of the planet in the form of liquid metallic hydrogen. This exotic form of the most common of elements is possible only at pressures exceeding 4 million bars, as is the case in the interior of Jupiter (and Saturn). Liquid metallic hydrogen consists of ionized protons and electrons (like the interior of the Sun but at a far lower temperature). At the temperature and pressure of Jupiter's interior hydrogen is a liquid, not a gas. It is an electrical conductor and the source of Jupiter's magnetic field. This layer probably also contains some helium and traces of various "ices".  Not very hospitable is how the lone surviving colonist described Jupiter.  He also gasped, "What was Junkyard thinking when he sent us here to live?"
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on September 13, 2007, 09:03:49 AM
2162 -- Scientists invent magic, thus making anything that could possibly be conceived of possible.  Meanwhile, Junkyard goes back in time to the year 2007, gives bettertomorrowamy a wedgie, then returns to the future.  i.e. The present.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Pak-Man on September 13, 2007, 10:26:50 AM
2163 - Jupiter is Terraformed- By MAGIC! :^)
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 13, 2007, 10:31:12 AM
2164 - Jupiter goes pthbb again.  I TOLD YOU SO is heard ringing throughout the cosmos not unlike when Kirk yells KAHN in Star Trek 2.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 13, 2007, 03:08:05 PM
2165- It turns out that pthbbing is a natural part of the Jovian seasonal cycle. The Jovians decide to invent a new holiday to commemorate the first day of Pthbb: Trumpzaa.

Meanwhile, a mission is sent up to redirect the Metiore away from Earth. It sucseeds, but unfortunately the metiore hits Mercury, which gets angry again.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 13, 2007, 04:28:45 PM
2166 - bettertomorrowamy employs the entire race of Moon Chimps, and the full resources of  the Soylent Pink corporation to destroy the colonists on Jupiter.  With the colonists all dead, bettertomorrowamy restores Jupiter to its original brilliance.  A forcefield is erected around Jupiter to ensure no further colonizations.  1 billion Moon Chimps are employed as sentries to guard Jupiter throughout time.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 13, 2007, 04:56:37 PM
2167- Bettertomorrowamy learns how stupid it is put 1 billion Moon Chimps in the same place, as he is soon torn apart. The Moon Chimps, meanwhile, discover that they like the stormy, superheated atmosphere of Jupiter more than the Moon, and decide to take up permanent residence.

Meanwhile, Mercury comes ever closer.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 14, 2007, 05:51:41 PM
2168 - The Moon Chimps, having realized that bettertomorrowamy had their first-born sons held captive, decide to reassemble bettertomorrowamy. 
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Shelly_Marsh on September 14, 2007, 10:09:37 PM
2169 - Shelly Marsh takes over planet pluto, then uranus, then neptune, then saturn, then io, then moons the earth. then shelly marsh takes over outer mongolia... in 2178
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Sideswipe on September 15, 2007, 08:31:43 PM
December 2178.  Cyborg canibals disembowl Shelly Marsh, no one hears about Shelly Marsh ever again.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Pak-Man on September 15, 2007, 11:37:08 PM
January 2009 - Someone hears about Shelly Marsh again. It's nobody important, really, and he never tells anyone about her, but the universe is left scratching its head because it wasn't supposed to happen.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 15, 2007, 11:41:37 PM
2170 - The timeline realigns.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RhodesWatson on September 16, 2007, 12:02:20 AM
2179 - The disembowled person was only the evil shelly marsh. The real shelly marsh still lives and clones herself 184 times to confuse all the future wannabe disembowlers.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Crazy_88s on September 16, 2007, 12:05:25 AM
I'm gonna take a crack @ this... ahem 2080 - The clones of Shelly Marsh run amock throughout Canada, trying to get it on with all the fledgling boybands and anyone else who looks like Joey Fatone.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Shelly_Marsh on September 16, 2007, 12:11:25 AM
2179 - The disembowled person was only the evil shelly marsh. The real shelly marsh still lives and clones herself 184 times to confuse all the future wannabe disembowlers.
Remind me to thank you later Rhodes.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 16, 2007, 08:38:30 AM
2171 - I am forced for some reason to re-re-align the timeline.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Shelly_Marsh on September 16, 2007, 10:29:52 AM
2172 - Shelly Marsh clone 76 speaks "Fools! Don't you know it's not possible to re-re-align the time line?! Let alone re-align the time line?!AHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!"
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on September 16, 2007, 02:47:44 PM
2180 -- Shelly Marsh thanks RhodesWatson.  Meanwhile, the Timeline finally throws up its hands and says "I just don't know."
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 16, 2007, 06:03:24 PM
2173 - Ugh!  Amy smash thread!! 
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on September 17, 2007, 06:16:10 AM
2007 - ChaosFromOrder looks at the broken timeline and says, "Wow, that's stupid. It's so annoying when one doofus ruins a fun thread for everyone else."
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 17, 2007, 01:21:57 PM
2174 - bettertomorrowamy destroys the internet with his rogue Moon Chimp squadron.  ChaosFromOrder is anally raped by a gang of Moon Chimps.  Then they steal his wallet and go to his house and tear the vinyl siding off of it.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on September 17, 2007, 02:15:40 PM
2174 - bettertomorrowamy destroys the internet with his rogue Moon Chimp squadron.  ChaosFromOrder is anally raped by a gang of Moon Chimps.  Then they steal his wallet and go to his house and tear the vinyl siding off of it.

Damnit, I just had that siding redone, too.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on September 17, 2007, 04:03:56 PM
2175 -- The Second Coming of Jesus occurs.  But the main lasting effect of this is that all hard drives and magnetic tapes are erased. 
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on September 17, 2007, 07:01:43 PM
2175 -- The Second Coming of Jesus occurs.  But the main lasting effect of this is that all hard drives and magnetic tapes are erased. 

Damnit, I just had that hard drive redone, too.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 19, 2007, 03:24:38 PM
2174 - bettertomorrowamy sends 2 Moon Chimps back to save ChaosFromOrder's hard drive.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on September 20, 2007, 10:54:49 AM
2175 (2007) - the 2 Moon Chimps die in an unlikely electrical surge while attempting to repair ChaosFromOrder's hard drive. Their bodies become fossilized and are found back in 2175 by bettertomorrowamy, who realizes that the attempt to repair the hard drive must have failed.

bettertomorrowamy has the Moon Chimps redone.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on September 20, 2007, 07:06:28 PM
2176- A machine capable of bridging dimensions safely is invented. Within months, we make contact with people from a world were Constantine didn't make Christianity the State Religion. Rome was therefore able to make a comeback, and stayed in power all the way up to the present day.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on September 20, 2007, 07:13:31 PM
2177 -- To celebrate the 200th Anniversery of the release of Star Wars: A New Hope, George Lucas is forced, at gunpoint, to rerelease the original version from 1977.  Everyone realizes how dated and primitive some of the special effects are, and get mad at him anyway.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on September 20, 2007, 07:18:11 PM
2177, July - For the 200th anniversary of bettertomorrowamy's birthday, the Moon Chimps ritually sacrifice themselves for their creator.  Roasted Moon Chimp can be smelled throughout the known universe in my honor.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Chaos on September 20, 2007, 08:26:19 PM
2177, July - For the 200th anniversary of bettertomorrowamy's birthday, the Moon Chimps ritually sacrifice themselves for their creator.  Roasted Moon Chimp can be smelled throughout the known universe in my honor.

Damn, I just had those Moon Chimps redone, too.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: RhodesWatson on September 25, 2007, 05:47:49 PM
2178 - Mom and Dad save the world.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: daltysmilth on September 25, 2007, 07:17:56 PM
2179 -- Mom is still nagging Dad about how he didn't save the world the right way.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on October 02, 2007, 05:06:02 AM
2180- Humanity evolves into Star-Children, leaving the Earth to the Robots.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on October 03, 2007, 02:46:06 PM
2181 - Junkyard and his Star-Children are destroyed by Moon Chimps, then the Moon Chimps conquer the Robots.  Earth becomes a giant banana plantation with Robots as farmers.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on October 03, 2007, 06:30:35 PM
2181- Only too late did the Moon Chimps realize that the Star Children they "killed" were just holograms. (If they rememebered that Junkyard was killed some years earlier, they wouldn't have been taken in.)

And the robots had downloaded themselves over to Romulus.

The Star Children meanwhile start their exploration of the universe, leaving the Moon Chimps to Earth.

The Moon Chimps lived semi- happily, not aware that Cthulu was already forcing an opening into the fabric of reality at the bottom of the Mid- Atlantic rift.
Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Hazzah on October 04, 2007, 06:15:13 PM
2182---

Cthulu changes his name to Whipper Willy.

The Star children adopt the phrase: "God is relevant, but that's beside the point." as their offical Tagline.

Title: Re: Write the Future
Post by: Junkyard on October 10, 2007, 07:47:37 PM
2183- Cthulu is devoured by Werewolves.