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Members Hub => Board Games for the Bored => Topic started by: Hazzah on May 21, 2007, 07:39:01 PM

Title: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 21, 2007, 07:39:01 PM
The object is to take a much loved movie (by the general public) or an ultra classic and provide the worst possible actors to take the place of the original if a remake should ever disgrace us.

I'll go first:

The Godfather (2008)

Vito Corleone................ Charles Durning
Michael Corleone......... David Hyde Pierce
Sonny Corleone........... Jim Carrey
Tom Hagen....................Billy Crystal
Kay Adams.....................Ricki Lake
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 21, 2007, 07:44:55 PM
Fun!

Casablanca:
Rick- Daymon Wayans
Ilsa- Jessica Simpson
Victor- John Rhys Davies (Gimli, from LoTR)
Ugarte- Brad Pit
Captain Renault- Woody Allen
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on May 21, 2007, 07:46:47 PM
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Butch Cassidy - Christian Bale

Sundance Kid - Matt Damon

Etta Place - Jessica Alba
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 21, 2007, 07:49:10 PM
Deliverance (2009)

Ed Gentry.........................Yahoo Serious
Lewish Medlock.............Carrot Top
Bobby Trippe...................Dax Shepherd
Drew Ballinger...............Forest Whitaker
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 21, 2007, 07:56:45 PM
All right this is mine by right:
Gojira:
Akira- Shia LaBeouf
Emiko- Fergie
Dr. Serizawa- Robin Williams
Godzilla- Dakota Fanning.

Fanning as either Godzilla himself, or as the actor inside the 120 pound Godzilla suit is really funny to me.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: eclipt1c on May 21, 2007, 09:17:12 PM
Seven Samurai


Kambei Shimada:  Al Franken
Kikuchiyo:  Mr. T

Totally random, but IMDb tells me it's their birthday.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Dim of the Yard on May 21, 2007, 09:44:53 PM
Brazil (1985)

Sam Lowry: Steven Seagal
Jill Layton: Nicole Kidman  (Dream sequence chick, she's just fine.  Rest of the movie... not so much.)
Harry Tuttle: Woody Allen
Jack Lint: Christopher Walken
Mr. Helpmann: Kurt Russell
Mr. Kurtzmann: Tom Hanks
Mrs. Lowry: Rosemary Harris
Holly Lint: Jodelle Ferland, or any other "young" actress who is 8 or older.
Heating Engineers: Daniel Craig/Orlando Bloom

Soundtrack by My Chemical Romance
Directed by Tim Burton
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Pak-Man on May 22, 2007, 02:18:31 AM
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

Michaelangelo: Kelsey Grammar
Leonardo: Bobcat Goldthwait
Raphael: Rick Moranis
Donatello: Tommy Lee Jones
Master Splinter: Eddie Murphy
Casey Jones: Casey Casum
April O'Neil: Rosey O'Donnel
Shredder: Tony Hawk
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 22, 2007, 04:57:22 AM
Monty Python, Life of Brian:

Brian- Mel Gibson
Brian's Mum- Pat Robertson
Pontius Pilate- Tom Cruise
Judith- Star Jones
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Sharktopus on May 22, 2007, 08:57:46 AM
Marky Mark Wahlberg is Taylor in Tim Burton's Planet Of The A... Oh, wait.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Butch Cassidy - Christian Bale

Sundance Kid - Matt Damon

Etta Place - Jessica Alba

I'd go see that movie.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on May 22, 2007, 12:30:43 PM
(http://inthemist.org/images/TeamAmerica.jpg)
Matt Damon!
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: dignan on May 22, 2007, 12:56:51 PM
Raiders of the Lost Ark

Indiana Jones - Keenan Thompson
Marion Ravenwood - Denise Richards
Belloq - Jean-Claude Van Damme
Sallah - Jean-Claude Van Damme (in a dual role!  This time around, Belloq and Sallah are twins!)
Toht - Freddie Prinze, Jr.
Marcus Brody - Jeff Bridges
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 22, 2007, 04:34:08 PM
Chinatown (2010)

Jake Gittes...............................Matthew Lillard
Evylyn Mulwray.........................Farrah Fawcett
Noah Cross..............................Jim Belushi
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Sharktopus on May 22, 2007, 08:39:42 PM
Indiana Jones - Keenan Thompson

Y'know, I met Kenan Thompson once. Kind of a dick.

That's all.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Rude on May 22, 2007, 09:30:37 PM
...

TAXI DRIVER
Let me ruin one of your favorite films by casting the talentless idiot Andy Dick and walking-STD Lindsay Lohan in starring roles! Witness Rowlf the Dog narrowly avoid an assassination attempt. Also be sure not to miss Woody Allen as everyone's favorite tough-guy pimp~

Travis Bickle - Andy Dick

Betsy - Lindsay Lohan

Sport - Woody Allen

Senator Palantine - Rowlf The Muppet

-Rude

PS Rob- I've changed my Windows sound on my work computer, so that whenever i do something that's not allowed... instead of that Ding! it says "Matt Damon." in that really retarded Team America way. Now, whenever someone at work does something stupid it's always "Matt Damon!"
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: eegah on May 22, 2007, 09:44:45 PM
The Passion of the Christ

Jesus - Jean-Claude Van Damme
Mary - Angelina Jolie
Magdalen - Emma Watson
Caiphas - Woody Allen
Judas - Haley Joel Osment
Pontius Pilate - Tobey Maguire
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: eclipt1c on May 22, 2007, 11:10:30 PM
The Passion of the Christ

Jesus - Jean-Claude Van Damme
Mary - Angelina Jolie
Magdalen - Emma Watson
Caiphas - Woody Allen
Judas - Haley Joel Osment
Pontius Pilate - Tobey Maguire

Haha, that gave me an idea:

Passion of the Christ:

Jesus - Optimus Prime
Caiphas - Hotrod
Judas - Starscream
Pontius Pilate - Megatron
Magdalen - Arcee
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 23, 2007, 05:29:40 AM
"Primacron... Why hath thou forsaken me?"
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: eclipt1c on May 23, 2007, 11:22:01 AM
Leon - The Professional

Leon - Orlando Bloom
Mathilda - Dakota Fanning
Stansfield - Hugo Weaving
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hebs on May 23, 2007, 12:39:09 PM
Well, in seriousness, Katie Holmes was a dumb choice. in Batman Begins.  She reminded me of the girl in high school that never swore and became class Treasurer and never smiled.  At least a little bit.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: AmazingThor on May 23, 2007, 12:55:55 PM
Schindler's List:
Oscar Schindler: Breckin Meyer
Amon Goeth: Jason Alexander
Itzhak Stern: Will Smith
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 23, 2007, 01:17:49 PM
Last Man On Earth:
Robert Morgan- Gilbert Godfry
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 23, 2007, 06:07:52 PM
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (2011)

Del Griffith...................................DJ Qualls
Neal Page...................................Morgan Freeman
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Cibernético II on May 23, 2007, 06:17:28 PM
Gladiator 2011

Maximus   - Larry the Cable Guy

Commodus - Harvey Firestein

Lucilla - Pamela Anderson

Marcus Aurelius - Mickey Rooney

Proximo - Nipsey Russel
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Sideswipe on May 23, 2007, 06:18:10 PM
Top Gun

Maverick:  Katee Sackhoff
Charlie:  Tricia Hefler
Goose:  Edward James Olmos
Iceman:  Grace Park
Viper:   Mary McDonnell
Jester:  Nicki Clyne
Hollywood:  Jamie Bamber
Cougar:  Tahmoh Penikett
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 23, 2007, 06:26:04 PM
Full Metal Jacket:
Gny. Sgt. Hartman- Lindsy Lohan
Joker- Hillary Duff
Pyle- Leelee Sobieski
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 23, 2007, 08:07:17 PM
Forrest Gump (2009)

Forrest Gump.............................Nick Nolte
Bubba..........................................Gary Busey
Jenny...........................................John Travolta
Lt. Dan........................................Jet Li
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 23, 2007, 08:28:24 PM
Mystery Men:
The Blue Raja- Morgan Freeman
Mr. Furious- Anthony Hopkins
The Shoveller- Michael Caine
The Bowler- Judi Dench
The Spleen- Dwane "The Rock" Johnson
Invisible Boy- James Earl Jones
The Sphinx- Kevin Costner
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 23, 2007, 09:08:55 PM
Die Hard:

John McClane...........................Bob Denver
Holly Generro............................Hillary Duff
Hans Gruber.............................Eugene Levy
Al Powell....................................Kid Rock
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on May 23, 2007, 09:20:09 PM
Gladiator

Maximus ...................The Rock

Commodus ............. Johnny Depp

Lucilla ....................... Angelina Jolie

Proximo .................... Alec Baldwin

Marcus Aurelius ..... Jack Nicholson


Damnit, someone already did it.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Sharktopus on May 23, 2007, 11:20:01 PM
Well, in seriousness, Katie Holmes was a dumb choice. in Batman Begins.  She reminded me of the girl in high school that never swore and became class Treasurer and never smiled.  At least a little bit.

I know Gotham ADAs have a short life expectancy, but Katie Holmes will always look like she's 16. (Until one day when she'll suddenly look 60.) Her cracked voice delivery, crooked smile, and prepubescent boy's figure are charming in a goofy, girl-next-door way, but she's about as far from a hard-as-nails, big-city criminal prosecutor as you can get. (Let alone a character that's pretty much Harvey Dent, don't get me started again...) Here's a good rule of thumb, producers: if she'd never fly as Sam Waterston's partner on Law & Order, she won't fly in Gotham.) Maggie Gyllenhaal's a step towards the right direction, if only because she looks old enough to buy a six-pack at the gas station, but I'd wager that a few minutes of screentime in The Dark Knight is the last we hear from Rachel Dawes.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: AmazingThor on May 24, 2007, 09:47:06 AM
Aliens vs Predator.
Aliens: (http://www.gargaro.com/webpages/marvinandmarcia.jpg)
Predators: (http://tultw.com/pics/gossamer0168.jpg)
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: eclipt1c on May 24, 2007, 10:14:34 AM
Aliens vs Predator.
Aliens: (http://www.gargaro.com/webpages/marvinandmarcia.jpg)
Predators: (http://tultw.com/pics/gossamer0168.jpg)

The retarded middle-men, I mean humans:

(http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/e/e2/BugsBunnyAndDaffyDuck.jpg)
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 24, 2007, 10:37:23 AM
Dr. Strangelove:

Most of the cast doesn't matter, but replace all of Peter Seller's charicters with Adam Sandler. Just try to imagine.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 24, 2007, 04:45:30 PM
Young Frankenstein


Frankenstein..................................Liam Neeson
Igor...................................................Antonio Bandares
The Monster....................................Verne Troyer
Frau..................................................Rosie O'Donnell
Igna...................................................Britney Spears
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 26, 2007, 05:13:14 PM
I'm going again, dammit!


Shrek 2

Shrek.......................................Frank Langella
Donkey....................................Steven Wright
Fiona.......................................Eleen Degeneres
Puss........................................Kevin Costner
King Harold............................Ryan Seacrest
Queen Lillian.........................Christina Agularia



Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 27, 2007, 06:00:36 AM
Aliens:
Ripley- Britney Spears
Bishop- Shia Lebouf
Various Disposable Charicters- The Wayans Brothers.
The Xenomorph (Alien)- hmmm... Gonna have to go with Dakota Fanning again. Imagine her scurrying through the ventilation ducts, attacking crewmembers, hissing and drooling the entire time.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Sharktopus on May 27, 2007, 10:03:08 AM
The Xenomorph (Alien)- hmmm... Gonna have to go with Dakota Fanning again. Imagine her scurrying through the ventilation ducts, attacking crewmembers, hissing and drooling the entire time.

That is fucking terrifying.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 27, 2007, 10:29:42 AM
Kinda like "The Grudge," but with a blond kid and more noise, huh?
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 27, 2007, 02:09:06 PM
Speed

Jack Travis.....................................Bill Murray
Annie Porter...................................Lindsay Lohan
Howard Payne...............................Leslie Nielsen
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Junkyard on May 27, 2007, 05:13:40 PM
The Incredibles:
Mr. Incredible- Orlando Bloom
Elastigirl- Margaret Cho
Dash- Arnold Schwarzenegger 
Violet- Rosanne Arnold
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Hazzah on May 27, 2007, 06:10:40 PM
Spider-Man

Peter Parker/Spidey.............................DJ Qualls
MJ............................................................Kathy Griffin
Green Goblin.........................................Jerry Lewis
Harry Osborn.........................................Jimmy Fallon
J Jameson.............................................Lyle Lovett
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: Sass on March 29, 2010, 07:16:03 AM
Manos:Hands of Fate:

Husband - Alec Baldwin
Wife - Jenny McCarthy
Daughter - Miley Cyrus
Master - Bruce Willis
Torgo - Christopher Plummer
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: CrowTeeRobot on April 18, 2010, 02:09:18 PM
Manos:Hands of Fate:

Husband - Alec Baldwin
Wife - Jenny McCarthy
Daughter - Miley Cyrus
Master - Bruce Willis
Torgo - Christopher Plummer

YES. THIS.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: RoninFox on April 18, 2010, 02:52:23 PM
        Ghost Busters


        Johnny Depp                     Dr. Peter Venkman

   Jim Belushi                    Dr. Raymond Stantz

        Eugene Levy                      Dr. Egon Spengler

   Jaleel White              Winston Zeddmore

   Paris Hilton                 Dana Barrett
   
   Robert Downey Jr           Louis Tully

   Lily Tomlin                           Janine Melnitz

   Steve Carell                         Walter Peck

   Rudy Giuliani                   Mayor

   Rosie O' Donnel              Gozer

   Paul Ruebens                 Hotel Manager

   Westley Snipes in drag      Librarian

   Bill Mahr                             Archbishop
   
   Dakota Fanning                   Library Ghost

   Betty White                            Dream Ghost

        Cute fluffy rabbits                Demon Dogs

        Giant Shrek baloon            Stay Puff't

        Calista Flockhart                 Slimer

Lots of credit to Vamperica for helping me cast this.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: RoninFox on April 18, 2010, 02:53:24 PM
        Ghost Busters


Johnny Depp                     Dr. Peter Venkman
Jim Belushi                    Dr. Raymond Stantz
Eugene Levy                      Dr. Egon Spengler
Jaleel White              Winston Zeddmore
Paris Hilton                 Dana Barrett
Robert Downey Jr           Louis Tully
Lily Tomlin                           Janine Melnitz
Steve Carell                         Walter Peck
Rudy Giuliani                   Mayor
Rosie O' Donnel              Gozer
Paul Ruebens                 Hotel Manager
Westley Snipes in drag      Librarian
Bill Mahr                             Archbishop
Dakota Fanning                   Library Ghost
Betty White                            Dream Ghost
Cute fluffy rabbits                Demon Dogs
Giant Shrek baloon            Stay Puff't
Calista Flockhart                 Slimer

Lots of credit to Vamperica for helping me cast this.
Title: Re: Totally Miscast Movie Remakes
Post by: RoninFox on April 18, 2010, 02:54:31 PM
Oops, tried to modify and ended up quoting.  Can't see how to delete it either, crap.