RiffTrax Forum

General Discussion => General (Off-Topic) Discussion => Topic started by: stethacantus on March 14, 2020, 10:59:17 AM

Title: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: stethacantus on March 14, 2020, 10:59:17 AM
Because a lot of people are so stupid they will believe anything, many rumors I am sure were started by online practical jokers have spread faster than the virus. Here are a couple I heard that have made me laugh. ( Remember, a lot of Americans actually believe these to be real. ) 

#Because of copyright issues, the CDC has asked everyone to stop singing "Happy Birthday" while washing their hands, and sing the public domain "For He's A Jolly Good Fellow" instead.

#With the success of the Carona virus, Pabst has announced they will be developing their own virus and hope to have it released by this summer.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 15, 2020, 09:27:58 AM
Went to my local Walmart and the TP & Paper Towel aisle completely wiped out..
(https://i.imgur.com/JUPGI03.png)
All the bottled water was cleaned out as well!

Common sense just ain't that common in the world we live in :-[
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: MartyS (Gromit) on March 15, 2020, 10:02:11 AM
I've read a few articles about people that went around clearing out all their local stores of $1 hand sanitizer and then started selling them on Amazon and Ebay for $50.  They had their accounts closed for price gouging and are now complaining they are stuck with thousands of bottles of the stuff that they can't sell...  Sorry A-holes, you are not getting any sympathy.

Not sure they can be prosecuted because price gouging laws usually don't go into effect until an emergency is officially declared.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 15, 2020, 01:16:26 PM
Announced today here in SC, all K-12 schools are closed till the end of the month
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 15, 2020, 04:05:51 PM
There you go..
Brothers Accused Of Price Gouging Medical Supplies Face State Probe
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/brothers-hand-sanitizer-price-gouging-tennessee_n_5e6e8e04c5b6bd8156f9b763
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Pastor of Muppets on March 15, 2020, 05:09:22 PM
Went to my local Walmart and the TP & Paper Towel aisle completely wiped out..

All the bottled water was cleaned out as well!

Common sense just ain't that common in the world we live in :-[

I was at Sam's Club yesterday to get some soda and the paper towels and toilet paper were totally sold out.  There were signs that said "Limit 2 per membership".  Bottled water was still in stock, but I didn't think I needed any.  When I got home my girlfriend told me she wanted some.  I could've turned and gone back, but I was too tired.  When I went today, they had partially restocked on paper towels (but not toilet paper).  I got some vitamin water though; she likes that too.  I'm fine with tap water myself.  She got some filter bottle in the mean time.

When I went to Sam's Club yesterday, the place was packed.  All the checkout lines were super long.  Luckily their phone app will let you scan your purchases and pay in the app, so I got to skip the line.  No such luck on Thursday evening when I went to the regular and very popular grocery store Woodman's.

I hope they lift these stupid rules about public gatherings by the time the Rifftrax Live shows happen in June.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: linszoid on March 15, 2020, 06:13:19 PM
I'm really hoping for a couple of days off due to the virus.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 15, 2020, 06:22:58 PM
I'm really hoping for a couple of days off due to the virus.
Actually so am I..
Rumors from a couple of days ago at the post office I work at were that post offices nationwide could be shut down for at least 2 weeks or at the very least the window service (working the counter) where I normally work could be shut down for that amount of time but so far nothing has happened.. If it does happen, we would be paid administrative leave pay during this time off.
As critically understaffed as we are at all 3 of our post offices, this would definitely be a needed rest-bit :o
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: wihogfan on March 15, 2020, 06:33:10 PM
Went to Walmart last Thursday night to pick up groceries. Yep, they were put of toilet paper and almost all fresh meat. Store just recently renovated and went almost all self checkout (2 lanes have cashiers, but those 2 lanes aren't always open). Had to wait in a long line to get to self checkout. Missed the mini-riot and police being called that happened about an hour later.
Hit Aldi Foods looking for fresh meat at lunch on Friday. They were totally sold out and the checkout line was lined up to the back of the store, so I left with nothing.
Picked up frozen chicken and burgers at a local grocery store early yesterday morning that was also out of fresh meat, so frozen not fresh meat for dinners this week.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: wihogfan on March 15, 2020, 06:48:20 PM
As far as rumors/lies go, there was an article about BS that cruiseline call centers were using to hard sell customers that were pretty despicable- such as it's too hot for the virus to live in the Caribbean.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: MartyS (Gromit) on March 15, 2020, 09:45:39 PM
Read a good joke a little while ago.

So, with everyone being stuck at home together 24/7, 2 things are going to happen, more divorces, and more babies....
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 16, 2020, 02:45:24 AM
https://www.youtube.com/v/_066dEkycr4
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 16, 2020, 04:45:46 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/otUVelg.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: wihogfan on March 16, 2020, 06:55:34 PM
Told at work that we should be wearing masks when in public (by corporate office that is located in a different country)...when pointed out that masks (which to be effective really need to be the respirator type and not the surgical masks that you see so many wearing) are impossible to find and that they've been sold out for months we were met with disbelief. This was followed by a stated expectation that someone needed to be assigned to wipe down all door knobs and other common surfaces every hour with disinfectant wipes. Such wipes, sprays, bleach, alcohol, pretty much anything that would work also not available anywhere for purchase and haven't been for weeks. We do have some at disinfectant wipes at work and have been using them to try and wipe doorknobs down once a day, but they'd be gone in a day if we wiped everything down every hour. We'll send someone out shopping tomorrow for some suitable disinfectant and I'm sure someplace they'll find something, but unless they get very lucky it won't be disinfectant wipes. And they won't be wearing a mask.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 17, 2020, 02:30:58 AM
No changes so far to all delivery providers..
Mail services including the USPS and FedEx will continue delivering despite coronavirus
https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/16/us/usps-fedex-coronavirus-mail-deliver-amazon-ups-trnd/index.html
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 17, 2020, 03:46:11 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/gbo1fgc.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 18, 2020, 02:45:19 PM
Copied this from a friend..
Quote
Feeling confused as to why Coronavirus is a bigger deal than Seasonal flu? Here it is in a nutshell. I hope this helps. If you understand everything thank your high school science teacher:

It has to do with RNA sequencing.... I.e. genetics.

Seasonal flu is an “all human virus”. The DNA/RNA chains that make up the virus are recognized by the human immune system. This means that your body has some immunity to it before it comes around each year... you get immunity two ways...through exposure to a virus, or by getting a flu shot.

Novel viruses, come from animals.... the WHO tracks novel viruses in animals, (sometimes for years watching for mutations). Usually these viruses only transfer from animal to animal (pigs in the case of H1N1) (birds in the case of the Spanish flu). But once, one of these animal viruses mutates, and starts to transfer from animals to humans... then it’s a problem, Why? Because we have no natural or acquired immunity.. the RNA sequencing of the genes inside the virus isn’t human, and the human immune system doesn’t recognize it so, we can’t fight it off.

Now.... sometimes, the mutation only allows transfer from animal to human, for years it’s only transmission is from an infected animal to a human before it finally mutates so that it can now transfer human to human... once that happens..we have a new contagion phase. And depending on the fashion of this new mutation, thats what decides how contagious, or how deadly it’s gonna be..

H1N1 was deadly....but it did not mutate in a way that was as deadly as the Spanish flu. It’s RNA was slower to mutate and it attacked its host differently, too.

Fast forward.

Now, here comes this Coronavirus... it existed in animals only, for nobody knows how long...but one day, at an animal market, in Wuhan China, in December 2019, it mutated and made the jump from animal to people. At first, only animals could give it to a person... But here is the scary part.... in just TWO WEEKS it mutated again and gained the ability to jump from human to human. Scientists call this quick ability, “slippery”

This Coronavirus, not being in any form a “human” virus (whereas we would all have some natural or acquired immunity). Took off like a rocket. And this was because, Humans have no known immunity...doctors have no known medicines for it.

And it just so happens that this particular mutated animal virus, changed itself in such a way the way that it causes great damage to human lungs..

That’s why Coronavirus is different from seasonal flu, or H1N1 or any other type of influenza.... this one is slippery AF. And it’s a lung eater...And, it’s already mutated AGAIN, so that we now have two strains to deal with, strain s, and strain L....which makes it twice as hard to develop a vaccine.

We really have no tools in our shed, with this. History has shown that fast and immediate closings of public places has helped in the past pandemics. Philadelphia and Baltimore were reluctant to close events in 1918 and they were the hardest hit in the US during the Spanish Flu.

Factoid: Henry VIII stayed in his room and allowed no one near him, till the Black Plague passed...(honestly...I understand him so much better now). Just like us, he had no tools in his shed, except social isolation...

Right now it’s hitting older folks harder... but this genome is so slippery...if it mutates again (and it will). Who is to say, what it will do next.

Be smart folks... Stay home.
:o
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 18, 2020, 03:11:51 PM
Japanese flu drug ‘clearly effective’ in treating coronavirus, officials say
https://nypost.com/2020/03/18/japanese-flu-drug-clearly-effective-in-treating-coronavirus-officials-say/
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 19, 2020, 04:40:57 PM
Now I'm hearing the vaccine for malaria chloroquine was showing promising effects against the Coronavirus :o
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/19/coronavirus-treatment-trump-directs-fda-to-examine-whether-malaria-drug-can-be-used.html
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on March 19, 2020, 04:54:58 PM
Now I'm hearing the vaccine for malaria chloroquine was showing promising effects against the Coronavirus :o
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/19/coronavirus-treatment-trump-directs-fda-to-examine-whether-malaria-drug-can-be-used.html
I'd take this development with a grain of salt.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 20, 2020, 04:36:29 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/Ijk1TFZ.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: linszoid on March 20, 2020, 05:25:30 PM
(http://files.explosm.net/comics/Rob/symptoms.png?t=BBCECF)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: wihogfan on March 20, 2020, 05:58:07 PM
Norm MacDonald-Coronavirus Standup
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-skA4GhVX7k
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 21, 2020, 09:53:39 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/zUSd84e.gif)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 21, 2020, 10:20:14 PM
Oh what timing.. Just Perfect!!
Purell makers made 'misleading' claims to customers about killing germs, new suit says
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/03/21/gojo-purell-makers-hit-class-action-over-misleading-customers/2890969001/
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 21, 2020, 10:59:14 PM
The coronavirus outbreak has spread around the world causing fear and uncertainty about the health of humanity.
Thankfully, televangelist Jim Bakker and his wife Lori have a cure. ::)

https://www.youtube.com/v/1Yunh9dRjdA
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Toranaga on March 22, 2020, 05:29:10 AM
I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 22, 2020, 02:04:11 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/KOuHu0v.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: linszoid on March 22, 2020, 07:25:55 PM
Looks like Ohio is shutting down after Monday and my job may go with it  :P
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Russoguru on March 22, 2020, 08:38:47 PM
If a vaccine is developed, they may have to settle for just treating the symptoms, because AFAIK treating a viral infection is really damn tough.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 23, 2020, 04:43:12 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/z6qujLn.gif)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 23, 2020, 04:45:30 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/XDeDjFR.gif)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 23, 2020, 04:54:00 PM
Got confirmation that I'm considered 'essential' since I work for the U.S. Post Office ..
(https://i.imgur.com/EarcVcu.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: MartyS (Gromit) on March 24, 2020, 07:00:42 AM
Had to laugh at this email, a birthday greeting from Independence Blue Cross that says:

Quote
Get discounts on amusement park tickets, movie tickets, sporting events, and more with Blue Insider.

Yay, all stuff that is shut down...

 
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Pak-Man on March 24, 2020, 08:07:12 AM
I've got a nice stack of Email birthday coupons being sent to me that all say dine-in only.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: MartyS (Gromit) on March 24, 2020, 03:41:49 PM
Because of panic buying the lack of toilet paper and laundry bleach is going to have one lasting social problem.

All those poor kids scarred for life, stuck with the nickname "skid mark". 

 :rimshot:
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 24, 2020, 04:56:04 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/fQSoTPe.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: goflyblind on March 25, 2020, 05:07:17 AM
i started re-watching the good place. it's very comforting.

(https://i.imgur.com/IAKS8TS.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/oHcei1d.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: CJones on March 25, 2020, 05:59:31 PM
https://www.insider.com/kansas-official-coronavirus-isnt-problem-here-because-few-chinese-2020-3 (https://www.insider.com/kansas-official-coronavirus-isnt-problem-here-because-few-chinese-2020-3)

Kansas official says coronavirus isn't a problem because there aren't many Chinese people there.

Quote
A Kansas Republican (Marvin Rodriguez) told other county commissioners that he didn't think there was a coronavirus issue locally because there were few Chinese people in the area.

 :speechless: It doesn't work that way...
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: wihogfan on March 25, 2020, 06:19:13 PM
Finally got the point across to my foreign higher ups that their down playing concerns of U.S. employees because numbers of infected here is less then in other countries where we have locations isn't what the message they should be pushing... analogy I used...I have an accident where 5 of my fingers get cut off at the same time you have an accident where you have both arms cut off...you saying that at least I still have 2 good arms and 5 fingers totally discounts the fact that I just lost 5 fingers. Brutal, but finally got them to understand.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 26, 2020, 12:41:20 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/hitEy1a.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Variety of Cells on March 29, 2020, 04:08:34 PM
(https://i.redd.it/z03zcz8sg2p41.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Edward J Grug III on March 29, 2020, 11:38:32 PM
Astrophysicist gets magnets stuck up nose while inventing coronavirus device

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/mar/30/astrophysicist-gets-magnets-stuck-up-nose-while-inventing-coronavirus-device
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on March 30, 2020, 03:09:28 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/XbsaGhK.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 01, 2020, 03:55:23 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/cZw5Cwa.gif)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 01, 2020, 05:38:40 PM
(https://tylerlolong.com/sadandgay/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/2020-04-01-Wak-for-Hire.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 02, 2020, 03:51:29 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/LpnZKvN.gif)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 03, 2020, 12:18:13 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/p8op2ba.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: CJones on April 03, 2020, 03:15:31 PM
Please tell me that's at your Post Office.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 03, 2020, 03:46:34 PM
Please tell me that's at your Post Office.
If only I could claim this but no way would a sign like this be allowed :D :D
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Toranaga on April 03, 2020, 08:34:52 PM
https://www.youtube.com/v/vPhpJuraz14

the original tweet was from a sportscaster who was bored because he was home all day presumably because of CV
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: MartyS (Gromit) on April 03, 2020, 09:03:44 PM
Read a kind of stupid article about the ethics of ordering non-essential stuff online.

Because it puts the warehouse and delivery people at risk....  Wait, if they are already out making deliveries of "essential" supplies, how does it put them more at risk to deliver other stuff?   A person driving around alone dropping off boxes is at way less risk than someone running a checkout counter at a store....

Really hate writers just looking to make people feel guilty for no reason.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Darth Geek on April 04, 2020, 08:54:29 AM
(https://images.dailykos.com/images/786010/large/Dino.jpg?1585763634)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 04, 2020, 04:24:30 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/Qd0QTQ0.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: wihogfan on April 04, 2020, 06:04:15 PM
Ummmm...I don't think it was a joke...at least not intended as a joke, but just saw a commercial with several celebrities..."Millions of children are going hungry becauses schools aren't in session to feed them, so we're going to help. Tune into our youtube channel and we're going to read you books"...That wasn't paraphrasing. Maybe not an exact quote, but close. I laughed out loud at the absudity...
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Toranaga on April 04, 2020, 06:12:25 PM
make a handkerchief mask at home?  Bitch i be like

(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/85/80/b8/8580b8bc2a8f5e630e438d3cc63eda89.gif)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 04, 2020, 06:13:01 PM
Ummmm...I don't think it was a joke...at least not intended as a joke, but just saw a commercial with several celebrities..."Millions of children are going hungry becauses schools aren't in session to feed them, so we're going to help. Tune into our youtube channel and we're going to read you books"...That wasn't paraphrasing. Maybe not an exact quote, but close. I laughed out loud at the absudity...
Soo.. They're gonna read instead of feed them ??? OH :-X
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 05, 2020, 01:58:09 PM
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/689198604551979129/696230020934533160/image0.jpg?width=504&height=672)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Toranaga on April 07, 2020, 07:19:37 AM
This video has not aged well.

https://www.youtube.com/v/n3NAx3tsy-k

Linked because I heard a reference to it during a CNN report.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: wihogfan on April 07, 2020, 10:27:39 AM
COVID-19 wacky conspiracy theory that insanely links a virus to 5G cell phone service:
https://www.thedailybeast.com/celebrities-are-spreading-a-wacky-coronavirus-5g-conspiracy-and-they-need-to-stop-4

Being taken seriously enough by some that they're actually burning 5G towers:
https://www.the-sun.com/news/633278/coronavirus-5g-conspiracy-theory-masts/amp/
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: goflyblind on April 07, 2020, 10:54:07 AM
Quote
A zoo has been trying to get two pandas to mate for 10 years. When coronavirus shut the zoo down, the pandas finally did

Parenthood might be around the corner for Ying Ying and Le Le, which are longtime residents of Ocean Park in Hong Kong. Zoo officials announced Monday that after 10 years of attempts at natural mating, and "through trial and learning," the two have finally succeeded.
https://edition.cnn.com/travel/article/pandas-mate-ocean-park-trnd/index.html

apparently pandas are horny for mass human deaths. :speechless:
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: CJones on April 07, 2020, 08:47:30 PM
Quote
A zoo has been trying to get two pandas to mate for 10 years. When coronavirus shut the zoo down, the pandas finally did

Parenthood might be around the corner for Ying Ying and Le Le, which are longtime residents of Ocean Park in Hong Kong. Zoo officials announced Monday that after 10 years of attempts at natural mating, and "through trial and learning," the two have finally succeeded.
https://edition.cnn.com/travel/article/pandas-mate-ocean-park-trnd/index.html

apparently pandas are horny for mass human deaths. :speechless:

Or maybe they just wanted people to stop watching them.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: CJones on April 07, 2020, 08:50:55 PM
https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2020/04/person-caught-on-camera-dressing-up-as-a-bush-to-escape-covid-19-quarantine.html (https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2020/04/person-caught-on-camera-dressing-up-as-a-bush-to-escape-covid-19-quarantine.html)

https://www.youtube.com/v/z80QBMeBX2Y

A man in the UK disguises himself as a bush to try and escape the lockdown.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Variety of Cells on April 07, 2020, 10:32:40 PM
Hehehe. A town in Louisiana used sirens to announce the start of the curfew, but they sounded an awful lot like the sirens from The Purge.

https://news.avclub.com/louisiana-police-department-initiates-coronavirus-curfe-1842738779
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Pak-Man on April 07, 2020, 10:41:56 PM
I work on a military base and every Friday about noon they test their siren, which happens to sound a lot like the ones from Silent Hill. That's kind of unnerving, too. But then I don't think sirens are supposed to be pleasant. They just can't win.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Variety of Cells on April 07, 2020, 10:50:42 PM
I work on a military base and every Friday about noon they test their siren, which happens to sound a lot like the ones from Silent Hill. That's kind of unnerving, too. But then I don't think sirens are supposed to be pleasant. They just can't win.

Indeed. That would be much freakier. But I’m going to help with that by cross posting this from the video game thread. Just think about this every time you hear those sirens, and everything will be ok.

Omg.  Masahiro Ito, the character designer of such favorites as pyramid head from Silent Hill 2, is just as bored and stircrazy as everyone else right now.  But when he gets bored, he creates fucking adorable little pyramid head chibi pictures about washing your hands.  I'm going to die.  How is it so cute?

https://news.avclub.com/silent-hills-art-director-and-monster-designer-finds-in-1842707772

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUHJl8zU4AUSn62?format=jpg&name=small)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUC4sIsUMAYoSXj?format=jpg&name=900x900)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUC6rfEVAAEWxjM?format=jpg&name=900x900)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUC6r9EUwAIVQWo?format=jpg&name=medium)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: goflyblind on April 08, 2020, 06:45:51 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/Z43nIjK.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on April 08, 2020, 07:23:51 AM
This could have either fit into the tv or movie news threads, but since it's coronavirus related I decided to put it here.  It looks like CBS is bringing Sunday Night Movies back for now.
https://screencrush.com/cbs-sunday-night-movie-schedule-2020/ (https://screencrush.com/cbs-sunday-night-movie-schedule-2020/)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Toranaga on April 08, 2020, 11:11:39 AM
ABC News: US intelligence warned of China's spreading contagion in November:
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/08/politics/us-intelligence-report-china-coronavirus/index.html?utm_source=twCNN&utm_term=link&utm_content=2020-04-08T15%3A54%3A17&utm_medium=social

The mystery of President Trump's unannounced hospital visit in November:
https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/24/health/trump-hospital-gupta-analysis/index.html


THEY COINCIDED

  Trump got a vaccine for an engineered coronavirus. 
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on April 08, 2020, 01:35:51 PM
correlation=/=causation
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Toranaga on April 08, 2020, 06:33:26 PM
correlation=/=causation

Not in this thread.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on April 12, 2020, 06:54:13 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EVTMrk0WAAEsP_s.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: goflyblind on April 12, 2020, 08:12:07 AM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EVTMrk0WAAEsP_s.jpg)

i mean, i'm pretty sure that's not a typo, just what the dailyfail actually believes.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Darth Geek on April 13, 2020, 07:34:37 PM
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EVhD0VzUcAErE6w.jpg)
I hope Fox News sends lots of their reporters to talk to them.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on April 14, 2020, 07:17:10 AM
https://screencrush.com/that-thing-you-do-cast-reunion-fundraiser/ (https://screencrush.com/that-thing-you-do-cast-reunion-fundraiser/)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 14, 2020, 04:13:44 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/oXcSMho.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: goflyblind on April 14, 2020, 10:38:50 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/SkTMNXw.gif)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Russoguru on April 14, 2020, 10:51:35 PM
If you sneeze or cough in a public place anymore... motherfucker, you better have a cure somewhere on you for fucking Covid-19.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: CJones on April 15, 2020, 10:16:07 AM
https://www.youtube.com/v/2MvbkehQqOY
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 16, 2020, 10:41:17 AM
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/689198604551979129/699399010120761414/20200413_191213.png?width=1063&height=671)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Darth Geek on April 17, 2020, 06:50:33 AM
Pranay Pathole
@PPathole

@neiltyson
The spread of C19 is based on two factors:
1) How dense the population is
2) How dense the population is
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Variety of Cells on April 17, 2020, 09:08:48 AM
Pranay Pathole
@PPathole

@neiltyson
The spread of C19 is based on two factors:
1) How dense the population is
2) How dense the population is

You cut out out the best part. Someone commented “I don’t get it. You posted the same thing twice”. To which the poster replied “You’re the second one.”
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: CJones on April 17, 2020, 12:14:09 PM
(https://pics.me.me/remain-calm-you-will-all-have-a-chance-to-be-70626101.png)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 18, 2020, 03:49:15 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/fAQLjZY.png)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on April 18, 2020, 07:43:23 AM
So to make matters worse, looks like it leaves you with severe, permanent lung damage if you recover.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 19, 2020, 01:28:31 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/LmIrkeK.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 20, 2020, 04:32:57 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/MH1xe9F.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 21, 2020, 03:55:18 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/B5NPMT4.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: goflyblind on April 22, 2020, 02:56:49 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/CwXIw2V.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Russoguru on April 22, 2020, 08:06:53 AM
Not really a Coronavirus joke, but more of a loneliness due to Covid-19 joke.

Part of me really, really wants a girlfriend. Then I look down at my penis and say "No! Bad penis! You know I can't afford to take care of one of those!".
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Darth Geek on April 22, 2020, 11:15:17 AM
(https://i.imgflip.com/3xkksq.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 22, 2020, 11:18:36 AM
I was thinking they were the Flu Flux Flan flub :-X
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 22, 2020, 03:38:00 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/XJZV3WD.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 22, 2020, 03:45:32 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/xCpqnVQ.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: goflyblind on April 22, 2020, 10:20:30 PM
not to be a downer, but things likely won't "be back to normal" until about a year after a vaccine starts becoming widespread. :-\
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: ScottotD on April 22, 2020, 11:36:21 PM
not to be a downer, but things likely won't "be back to normal" until about a year after a vaccine starts becoming widespread. :-\

I'd prefer they didn't, 'normal' wasn't great to start with.  Sadly I feel like the new normal will probably be even worse
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 23, 2020, 05:39:54 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/XJZV3WD.jpg)

I just realized we are in a prequel to The Last Man on Earth.

https://www.youtube.com/v/gvXnqTkmajo
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 24, 2020, 02:28:58 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/fNJ3Gdu.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: MartyS (Gromit) on April 24, 2020, 08:54:40 AM
The new Lysol slogan:  "Kills 99.9% of the people that inject it."
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Darth Geek on April 24, 2020, 10:17:14 AM
The new Lysol slogan:  "Kills 99.9% of the people that inject it."
The one who would survive is Keith Richards.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 24, 2020, 04:28:35 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/zjdpAIn.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Russoguru on April 24, 2020, 04:33:15 PM
The new Lysol slogan:  "Kills 99.9% of the people that inject it."
ONLY 99.9%??? What kind of shithole human killer is this????
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 24, 2020, 04:43:07 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/r8lkwQK.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 24, 2020, 04:57:41 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/VJk32eP.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: eegah on April 24, 2020, 05:25:07 PM
The onion predicted this:

Man Just Buying One Of Every Cleaning Product In Case Trump Announces It’s Coronavirus Cure

https://local.theonion.com/man-just-buying-one-of-every-cleaning-product-in-case-t-1842493766
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on April 25, 2020, 10:38:20 PM
In case you missed it earlier, even Kermit joined in on the quarantine performances...
https://www.youtube.com/v/jS5fTzMP_mg
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 26, 2020, 02:56:05 PM
https://www.youtube.com/v/uW56CL0pk0g
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on April 29, 2020, 08:41:15 AM
Well that’s interesting...
 https://news.avclub.com/exclusive-mystery-science-theater-3000-returns-for-soc-1843156549 (https://news.avclub.com/exclusive-mystery-science-theater-3000-returns-for-soc-1843156549)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: wihogfan on April 29, 2020, 11:51:48 AM
New short good. Riffing an episode of a season 1 MST3K episode...well, I'll watch, but riffing a riff doesn't seem like a good idea.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 30, 2020, 04:15:38 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/KE8byXQ.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on April 30, 2020, 01:08:28 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/G3C4ea9.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 30, 2020, 03:27:53 PM
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/689198604551979129/705043839294898246/FB_IMG_1588164586350.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 01, 2020, 01:59:23 PM
So Mike Love and John Stamos are teaming up for a charity song...
https://www.youtube.com/v/K8OVy33V_OI
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 03, 2020, 09:05:58 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/ZVvGhD9.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 04, 2020, 08:40:06 PM
And now Blue Oyster Cult has joined the many bands doing quarantine performances...
https://www.youtube.com/v/QvrqwcArNA4
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on May 05, 2020, 04:28:32 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/uGUvFl2.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Darth Geek on May 06, 2020, 10:09:33 AM
(https://i.redd.it/zxqm79rgorw41.png)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on May 06, 2020, 04:49:36 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/uLUbipV.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RoninFox on May 07, 2020, 05:42:14 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/uLUbipV.jpg)

That said, 90% of her dialogue would be about how she's never seen anything like this before.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Russoguru on May 07, 2020, 07:16:04 AM
That said, 90% of her dialogue would be about how she's never seen anything like this before.
Hey RoninFox! Haven't seen you in forever man!!! I haven't seen you since... since.... well, since before lockdown if I'm being 100% honest.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RoninFox on May 07, 2020, 08:20:04 AM
That said, 90% of her dialogue would be about how she's never seen anything like this before.
Hey RoninFox! Haven't seen you in forever man!!! I haven't seen you since... since.... well, since before lockdown if I'm being 100% honest.

Yeah, I've been mostly lurking here for a long time, especially since I haven't been working on any riffs since I finished Rocky last year.

And been working insane hours as we've lost several people in our department (none of them virus related reasons, two people got fired and one got a different job), so once I'm home I'm not moving or doing much of anything. Figured the past couple days I'd try and start doing something social, dang it.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 07, 2020, 11:02:17 AM
An interesting article on Coronavirus an newspaper comics...
https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/entertainment/story/2020-05-07/comic-strips-coronavirus-dilemma (https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/entertainment/story/2020-05-07/comic-strips-coronavirus-dilemma)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 08, 2020, 01:42:39 PM
It's "Don't Dead Open Inside" all over again.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EXdhRGyUcAEev4I?format=jpg&name=900x900)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 08, 2020, 07:08:32 PM
RIP Roy Horn, of Siegfried and Roy.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 08, 2020, 07:13:39 PM
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/496910-eleven-secret-service-agents-test-positive-for-covid-19-report?__twitter_impression=true (https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/496910-eleven-secret-service-agents-test-positive-for-covid-19-report?__twitter_impression=true)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 09, 2020, 09:11:00 PM
Umm...https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/cdc-director-self-quarantine-after-exposure-white-house-aide-covid-n1203851 (https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/cdc-director-self-quarantine-after-exposure-white-house-aide-covid-n1203851)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on May 10, 2020, 04:32:12 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/DXs2WcR.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 13, 2020, 07:24:33 AM
https://www.washingtonian.com/2020/05/12/inn-at-little-washington-chef-will-fill-his-socially-distanced-dining-room-with-mid-century-mannequins/ (https://www.washingtonian.com/2020/05/12/inn-at-little-washington-chef-will-fill-his-socially-distanced-dining-room-with-mid-century-mannequins/)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 13, 2020, 12:04:10 PM
https://www.youtube.com/v/vM3J9jDoaTA
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Variety of Cells on May 13, 2020, 01:33:39 PM
https://www.youtube.com/v/vM3J9jDoaTA

Yeah, it's sad how they are all trying to tug at the same heart strings, make you believe as if they care about something other than making money, and convince you that you need to buy their stuff in order to feel normal again. 

Similar to this video.

https://www.youtube.com/v/BsJreXXT_zA
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 13, 2020, 01:57:08 PM
"In these uncertain times, we here at Ex-Lax want to let you know that we'll be with you the whole way..  And hopefully soon, things will be flowing smoothly once again.  After all, there is a light at the end of the tunnel."
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Pak-Man on May 13, 2020, 03:31:52 PM
I like the ones from Charmin pledging to get their toilet paper back on the shelves as soon as possible.
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: wihogfan on May 13, 2020, 03:43:08 PM
I like the ones from Charmin pledging to get their toilet paper back on the shelves as soon as possible.
Man, those started at the beginning and are still running. Glad the TP shortage here ended.
The Dominos "hey if you're not working come deliver for us for less money then you're probably getting from unemployment" ones are the ones that always catch my attention. I've been tempted to order from them just to give to the drivers, but Dominos vs local place that has good pizza and I'd rather stay in business...
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: goflyblind on May 15, 2020, 12:38:08 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/w3EThzC.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/8TT0dh7.png)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: RVR II on May 15, 2020, 03:58:05 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/dV3CzbB.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 16, 2020, 06:42:58 AM
 https://www.propublica.org/article/two-coasts-one-virus-how-new-york-suffered-nearly-10-times-the-number-of-deaths-as-california (https://www.propublica.org/article/two-coasts-one-virus-how-new-york-suffered-nearly-10-times-the-number-of-deaths-as-california)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: The Lurker on May 25, 2020, 12:51:33 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/KW8Qq1q.jpg)
Title: Re: List CoronaVirus jokes ( and/or dumb rumors ) here!
Post by: Darth Geek on May 25, 2020, 01:20:10 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/KW8Qq1q.jpg)
The dark history of Principle Strickland.