RiffTrax Forum

RiffTrax Discussion => Individual RiffTrax Discussion => Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory => Topic started by: Raven on April 13, 2007, 08:57:23 AM

Title: What have we Learned?
Post by: Raven on April 13, 2007, 08:57:23 AM
What have we learned?
 

Discuss.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: BathTub on April 13, 2007, 09:48:57 AM
That DisembAudio isn't very good at slapping competitions.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Rufus T on April 13, 2007, 11:00:42 AM
I learned that poor people often you laundry water in their cabbage soup. I also learned that Columbian casino owners will send out rogue grandfathers to kill you if you anger them.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Tehpogo on April 13, 2007, 12:36:47 PM
To conform with industrial standard, all chocolate factories require at least three portals to hell.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Petey Wheatstraw on April 13, 2007, 04:54:54 PM
That there were a lot of paedophiles back in 1971, and there is a town somewhere in the world where mothers frequently break out into depressing bad songs. Oh, yeah, and don't trust psychotic candymakers when they tell you that everyone is going to be perfectly safe.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Goshzilla on April 13, 2007, 06:13:09 PM
I learned how frustrating it is that Gene Wilder is a better Willy Wonka than Johnny Depp, and yet the movie is less faithful than Tim Burton's version.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Scrivener on April 14, 2007, 05:43:42 AM
That sugar is at least as powerful a psychedelic as LSD.

I mean, that's got to be the explanation.  Right?
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: SecretAgentSuperDragon on April 14, 2007, 06:22:15 AM
That sugar is at least as powerful a psychedelic as LSD.

I mean, that's got to be the explanation.  Right?

[Disco Stu] Oh yeah. I got hooked on the white stuff back in the 70s.[/Disco Stu]
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Fuzzy Necromancer on April 14, 2007, 08:38:20 AM
That if somebody repeatedly says not to ingest magical scientific candy, no matter how many children you see suffer horrific fates before you, you will still give it a try.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Quicksilver on April 14, 2007, 09:35:41 AM
in a wonka like society, people get what they deserve. I finally figured out the difference between gene wilder and johnny depp, wilder is pedophile creepy where as depp is eccentric pyschotic creepy. I prefer the latter, but I enjoyed this movie more having seen the new one since the last viewing.

I also learned to check disks before renting from block buster, the dvd skipped all throughout the first 40 minutes or so. Challenging synch to say the least.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: AmandaGal on April 14, 2007, 07:19:04 PM
I and everyone I know say the word, "recluse" wrong.

Neil Patrick Harris is a self-promoting whore. . . in a good way.

It's ok to steal and be dishonest as long as it doesn't involve creepy men with scars.

I should start stocking golden tickets in my pharmacy.  Apparently, they can cure all that ails you.  Screw aspirin, I think everyone should take one daily.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Tyrant on April 14, 2007, 10:50:46 PM

  That in the twisted dimension the movie takes place in, the entire world has nothing better to worry about than finding the five gold tickets for a Willie Wonka factory tour.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: zeyguy on April 15, 2007, 02:18:01 AM
That no chocolate factory should be without a tunnel of horrors.

(Considering that these golden ticket winners were the first non-Oompa Loompas to enter the factory in years, we can assume that the "tunnel of horrors" was created for Wonka's own amusement. So apparently, during his downtime Wonka likes to be bombarded with psychedelic lights and sounds while watching images of animal slaughter. Noooo, heaping piles of X is not part of this man's daily diet? Why do you ask?)

http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com/Divx%20links/Willy_Wonka.html (http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com/Divx%20links/Willy_Wonka.html)
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Scrivener on April 15, 2007, 05:50:07 AM

  That in the twisted dimension the movie takes place in, the entire world has nothing better to worry about than finding the five gold tickets for a Willie Wonka factory tour.

Ahem.  Don Imus.  Anna Nicole Smith.  Going back a few years, Bennifer.  "Less worthwhile" doesn't necessarily mean "less likely to produce a media feeding frenzy."  It may be a twisted dimension, but it's recognizably ours.  As opposed to, say, the dimension inside the factory walls that would make Rod Serling's head explode ...
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: AmandaGal on April 15, 2007, 06:22:21 AM
Isn't Willy Wonka and his "candy factory" really close to Micheal Jackson and Neverland? Imagine what would have happened if Jacko would have released golden tickets to Neverland at the height of his fame, not when he was just another pervy pedophile.  The media was all over that place anyway. 
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Pak-Man on April 15, 2007, 12:08:32 PM
I learned that things could be a lot more fun in the days before lawsuits ran rampant. :^)
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Trekker4747 on April 15, 2007, 01:13:22 PM
I learned that even in the modern era people did laundry in a vat of boiling water that they stir with a spoon.

Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Wiseblood on April 15, 2007, 02:53:52 PM
I learned not to mix random chemicals handed to you by an insane British man.  Thank you, Neil Patrick Harris!
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Trekker4747 on April 15, 2007, 04:03:07 PM
I learned that chocolate factories sweep up their dead cocroaches, grind them up into a fine powder, and sell it to KFC as filler.  Also learned I wasn't surprised by that.

Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Rattrap007 on April 16, 2007, 01:54:32 AM
I learned British school teachers an completely insane and sound like they are part of Monty Python..

I also learned if you have the last name Teevee you are pretty much doomed to being a couch potato in a cowboy suit..
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: ScottotD on April 16, 2007, 01:59:33 AM
Isn't Willy Wonka and his "candy factory"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHH! 

It's CHOCOLATE!!!, it even says so in the title!!
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: BathTub on April 16, 2007, 02:07:50 AM
Ah, the perfect mix of post and avatar.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: AmandaGal on April 16, 2007, 03:04:11 AM
Isn't Willy Wonka and his "candy factory"


It's CHOCOLATE!!!, it even says so in the title!!

That's why I put it in quotes (although I guess I should have sarcastically italicized it or something).  He made more than just chocolate there so it's really a misnomer (unless gigantic gummy bears and lickable wallpaper are suddenly chocolate).
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Quicksilver on April 16, 2007, 07:13:45 AM
oh god the lickable wallpaper, like a damn child friendly glory hole, just imagine the diseases on that.

I cant believe I just said that, but I'm sticking with it  ;D
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Sheik Yerbouti on April 16, 2007, 07:41:01 AM
oh god the lickable wallpaper, like a damn child friendly glory hole

I probably shouldn't laugh at that, but I am.

I learned that Grampa Joe is a complete bastard.  Really.  The guy lies around in his stained undergarments for twenty years while his daughter boils shirts, Charlie finds the golden ticket and then suddenly, 'It's a miracle!  I can walk!'.  Oh and lets not forget him constantly giving Charlie the unrealistic hope that he is going to find the golden ticket in the the first place.  He  was probably the one who got the family into poverty to begin with, blew all his money on lottery tickets or something.

I also learned that Neal Patrick Harris was a great guest riffer!  I hope he comes back some day for a return engagement.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: AmandaGal on April 16, 2007, 09:21:48 AM
There's something else I learned.  When a strange man in a top hat tells you to lick his snozzberry, it's probably best to just say no.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Fuzzy Necromancer on April 16, 2007, 11:53:26 AM
That when the candyman decided to alter the universe to make it taste good, his only justification was that, in his personal viewpoint, it should.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Teaflax on April 16, 2007, 02:27:38 PM
That Neil Patrick Harris was a great guest riffer and that Mike inexplicably doesn't know how to pronounce "short-lived".
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: mrbasehart on April 17, 2007, 01:29:06 PM
Mike inexplicably doesn't know how to pronounce "short-lived".

Yeah, I got that, too.

I also learned that Mike doesn't know the difference between chocolate and human gore.  Interesting.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: LadyKenobi on April 19, 2007, 09:08:49 PM
I learned that Willy Wonka is strangely arousing.

....What?
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: SecretAgentSuperDragon on April 20, 2007, 03:50:26 AM
I learned that Nitric Acid and Glycerine are apparently safe chemicals to mix in a classroom.

"Now Charlie, would you like to grab me that sawdust and detonator fuse there. And if somebody has a clock that I could borrow..."

I also learned that candybars become tainted once exposed to octogenarian ass-heat.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: AmandaGal on April 20, 2007, 06:17:09 AM
Mike inexplicably doesn't know how to pronounce "short-lived".

The thing that rifftrax has taught me most of all:  Folks from Wisconsin don't know how to pronounce anything.

It's endearing though.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: AmazingThor on April 22, 2007, 07:53:04 AM
I learned that NPH has a good "riffing" voice. I was totally impressed.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Hobbit on April 22, 2007, 08:27:16 AM
I learned that NPH has a good "riffing" voice. I was totally impressed.

He performs surgury while he comments on a psychadelic, drug-induced nightmare of a kids' movie.  He's SO talented.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Fuzzy Necromancer on April 22, 2007, 05:41:28 PM
I learned that Willy Wonka is strangely arousing.

....What?

Are you referring to the actor playing the persona of the same name, or the film as a whole?
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: LadyKenobi on April 22, 2007, 06:08:03 PM
Oh, just the hat and the O-L employment and living in a factory with forced-perspective rooms and all, not the whole freaky movie itself. 

That would be weird.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Fingers on April 28, 2007, 10:04:54 AM
I learned that laying in bed for the past 20 years does not affect your health in any way, shape or form whatsoever. I mean, I'd have thought that someone would have suffered from bed sores.

I also learned that adults NEVER win anything, no matter how hard they try.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: estwald on April 29, 2007, 01:36:53 PM
I learned that if I'm going to invite 10 people on a factory tour and only provide a paddle boat with seats for 8, I'd better hope a kid gets killed before the boat ride. Ditto the 4-seater soap-sud car.

And I learned not to get my head too close to the chamber pot under my grandparent's bed.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: eegah on May 08, 2007, 03:50:37 AM
I learned that if I'm going to invite 10 people on a factory tour and only provide a paddle boat with seats for 8, I'd better hope a kid gets killed before the boat ride. Ditto the 4-seater soap-sud car.

And I learned not to get my head too close to the chamber pot under my grandparent's bed.

And before the TV-shrink thing, they only had enough outfits for the remaining people. Hmmm.....
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: eegah on May 08, 2007, 03:50:58 AM
There's something else I learned.  When a strange man in a top hat tells you to lick his snozzberry, it's probably best to just say no.

LOL!
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: eegah on May 08, 2007, 04:52:04 AM
Apparently, there was a big gum-chewing problem back then. Enough so that a major part of the moral lesson from a major motion picture had to be devoted to discouraging children from doing it.

GUM CHEWING'S FINE WHEN IT'S ONCE IN A WHILE
IT STOPS YOU FROM SMOKING AND BRIGHTENS YOUR SMILE
BUT IT'S REPULSIVE, REVOLTING, AND WRONG
CHEWING AND CHEWING ALL DAY LONG
THE WAY THAT A COW DOES


Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: AmazingThor on May 08, 2007, 07:25:39 AM
Eat all the chocolate and candy  you want. But gum? Disgusting!
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Quicksilver on May 08, 2007, 12:51:30 PM
Eat all the chocolate and candy  you want. But gum? Disgusting!

just imagine if that girl tried hard drugs, she's screwed....junkie in seconds.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Fuzzy Necromancer on May 17, 2007, 10:46:13 PM
I learned that the villain from Saw is really just a more health-concious version of Willy Wonka. Both people set up their victims in situations where each person will lead themself to their own unpleasant demise. The both heap them with dodgey self-justification and radiate smug moral superiority.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: gbeenie on May 31, 2007, 11:20:14 AM
I learned that contracts are strictly for suckers.

Therefore, my current pay-as-you-go cell phone plan is officially sucka-free.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: gbeenie on May 31, 2007, 11:25:53 AM
I learned that the filmic effect of disembodied hands sticking out of the wall is entirely dependent on context.


To wit:

in Willy Wonka = whimsical

in Day of the Dead = terrifying (for realz: that dream sequence at the beginning of Day freaks me right the fuck out)
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: SharpMonkey on July 04, 2007, 11:24:09 AM
I learned that Neil Patrick Harris can be one funny mamma jamma!   :clap:
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: OrangeBroccoli on June 04, 2008, 07:10:04 PM
That no chocolate factory should be without a tunnel of horrors.

(Considering that these golden ticket winners were the first non-Oompa Loompas to enter the factory in years, we can assume that the "tunnel of horrors" was created for Wonka's own amusement. So apparently, during his downtime Wonka likes to be bombarded with psychedelic lights and sounds while watching images of animal slaughter. Noooo, heaping piles of X is not part of this man's daily diet? Why do you ask?)

http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com/Divx%20links/Willy_Wonka.html (http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com/Divx%20links/Willy_Wonka.html)

Wow.  Wonka is insane.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Darth Geek on June 04, 2008, 10:17:29 PM
I learned that if Michael Jackson were handing out Wonka bars to children, I would be more worried about the candy's effect on the children.
Title: Re: What have we Learned?
Post by: Doctor Who? on December 03, 2008, 09:05:11 AM
I learned that anything can fly with out any wing,propelares,or rockets.

Also we need another NPH track.