Or being charged 5,000 bucks for a social security lawyer that doesn't even show up for your case, and gets paid anyway? Yeah, that still burns my ass after 6 years. :angry:That really happened ???
I should rename this, "The worthless legal advice" thread. ;DThey're actually still reviewing it. There's a final stage called quality review.
I don't know how you got approved without a lawyer, Soguru, but I am glad you did. :highfive:
Are you asking for Social Security Disability? (SSDI) or something else? I had three years of submitting medical reports and being told "You have failed to prove your case." Finally went to an Administrative Law Judge who approved me retroactively to 1988.It's just SSI. I don't know how their system works. But I'll just have to wait and see, still waiting on that final, final decision.
I had a lengthier response to this, but my computer froze and there was no way to save it. I simply don't have the capacity to try to recreate it.I feel like I should point out a few things:Spoiler (click to show/hide)Also I need to add:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I did not mean anything I wrote to be critical. My responses were based solely on what you'd written.
With your comment '4', people using terms like "lazy" are the opposite of helpful. That is one of the most DEmotivating comments that can be made to someone who is overweight, and result in additional emotional responses that can feed into binging and exercise avoidance.
In response to the term 'lazy': first, people who have made attempts at change are not lazy. People with psychological difficulties are almost never lazy (generally they have too much going on inside and are often, at best, mentally exhausted from it to the exclusion of other actions). In addition, when food is involved, there are a large number of biological components to food addictions (e.g. sugar/corn/wheat) that often trump the psychological functioning of people without psych difficulties.
If your yo-yo dieting is related to sugar (or wheat or corn - which behave the same as sugar in the body, but with additional problems), then I might suggest this book: The Sugar Impact Diet (http://www.amazon.com/JJ-Virgins-Sugar-Impact-Diet/dp/1455577847), in which she discusses how to phase out sugar, as she points out that going cold turkey on sugar is next to impossible, given the way human biology works.
What I've written on the forum about nutrition and exercise is what I have synthesized from watching over 100 hours of health presentations by specialists in assorted medical and medically-related fields. It sounds different from what most people say because it is based on the most up-to-date scientific research. Does everything I've ever written apply to everyone? No. Nothing does. But from the large degree of overlap between what various medical professionals have said, apparently it does apply to the majority of people most of the time, so I believe it is worth trying. Otherwise I wouldn't spend the time describing it, and describing it in enough detail so that it can be seen it isn't just the adoption of a bit of 'common knowledge' that doesn't happen to be true (e.g. the food pyramid was created by companies with a vested interest in getting people to eat their products like grains and dairy; the 'eat less and exercise more' idea that simply does not work and is actually problematic for people whose biology has been adversely affected by everything from their microbiome being devastated by antibiotics to autoimmune thyroid problems to the simple truth of poisons in the food they eat; etc.). [Seriously: look up the FDA and GRAS regulations, it is horrifying how little the FDA protects the food you eat from completely untested chemicals.]
From the Random Thoughts Thread:Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I really don't want to get into a debate about if I am addicted to one kind of food because I am not. I am addicted to numbing myself with any and all foods. I was trained from a very young age to eat and eat a lot (thanks DAD :grr:), and if you asked me to remove one type of food, then I would just end the day doing some sort of d r u g anyway, so it's the psych issues that are my biggest obstacle.
Here are some workshops I tried to attend last year. For some reason, I was told these workshops didn't exist! :o
Fence posts: Talk to them or not?
I don't understand group therapy. If you aren't allowed to be upset, what's the point?Miku I don't know. At this point I don't think I could ever get into another support group. I'm... ironically intimidated by other men, and if women aren't comfortable around me at all, then I don't see any way how I really belong anywhere. I think I need to just find a group of people and meet someplace where we can play a tabletop game like Yahtzee or Superfight or something.
I'm... ironically intimidated by other men, and if women aren't comfortable around me at all, then I don't see any way how I really belong anywhere.
I was told the group members didn't want to tell me straight out because they didn't want to hurt my feelings. :(
I think I've finally adjusted to my new, lower dosage of klonopin. I took 3mg a day for the last 20+ years.
Reduced to 2mg a day. Had about 2 months of mood swings, Possibly withdrawal syndrome. Or just adjusting to the anxiety with less meds.
Anyway, that's finally over, and I am back at my (medicated) baseline anxiety. I hope to decrease even further in the future. My goal is to take nothing.
Have you ever read Carlos Castaneda?No, why?
And then I remembered how I felt today, when I realized that i never had thought that a man would see me as anything but a fetish, and how amazing and wonderful it is to have a man who loves me enough that he tells me that nothing about my transiton matters to him; he always considered me a woman and will always consider me that.
I saw some video on youtube where he was quoted and it reminded me a lot of what you were talking about. A lot of people have read those books, so I thought I'd ask you if you have.Ahhhhh... interesting. I seem to remember him being referenced in an episode of MST3K once?
I really love Bas. I has a pretty good day, and he decided to start talking about our plans for a future wedding to cheer me up. I was extremely obvious what he was doing, but every time I think about being with him and starting s family, it helps a million.Good for you! I could only dream of being in a similar situation some day with a family of my own.
I don't know what to do anymore... I don't feel like I have enough time to become able to do the functions required for me to work right now. My support group leader says that I should apply for disability assistance and that he thinks I'd definitely qualify. The problem I run into for that is that for me, and I mean ME specifically, it feels like a defeat. But right now I don't know what else to do.The only permanent defeat is the final one we all get. All others are temporary. Take this as a respite and a chance to regroup.
Fucking useless.You're not useless Lawful! You're a valuable person and a good friend on this forum. You help keep the spirits of everyone up around here and we're glad to have you here and glad you are here. Lawful... you are so far from useless. :) I truly mean that.
So. My Psychiatrist secretly cancelled my clonazepam prescription today, over a drug screen..
He said, "you tested positive for marijuana, and negative for benzodiazepine. WHAT'S GOING ON?!"
The lab result is clearly wrong, I say. It's someone else's lab results.
Why do I say this? well, I've been taking clonazepam three times a day for twenty fucking years. So, there's no way I tested negative for that. It's not my lab results.
But, you may think, surely your lab-work had a label on it? Nope. Nurse gave me an unmarked bottle, and told me to go urinate in it. Then she had me put it on a shelf. I distinctly remember that the bottle was unlabeled- I remember because in the more than 20 years I've been going to the VA, this is the first and only time I've been given an unlabelled bottle.
I assume she did that to other Vets, and applied the labels later. Somewhere in the VA, there is some poor guy, who's being accused of illegally taking clonazepam. :gouge:
So, he thinks I'm ON marijuana, and for reasons unknown, not taking my narcotic nerve pills- pills that would rapidly put me in serious withdrawal, if I stopped taking.
Does he send me to the lab for a second test? Nope. He sends me out for an EKG. That's right, my psychiatrist sent me for an EKG- just two days after I saw my general practitioner. When I get back, I've been checked out, and told to come back in 4 months.
Being suspicious, I call the VA's automated prescription service line and check the status of my clonazepam. "No refills allowed." But, the bottle in my hand says, "two refills remaining."
The print out I got from the VA just two days ago says, "two refills remaining."
So, this guy cut me off a narcotic I've been on for 20 years, without notice, and is leaving me to go through withdrawal...without a wean or even advanced notice. No medical monitoring, nothing.
...Just another dickhead, incompetent doctor abusing his power, because he thinks he's special, when he's just a typical psychopath in a white jacket, which is my experience, is the case with most doctors. Incompetent psychopaths in white jackets.
Made a list today, setting the things I need to deal with and their urgency. People say money doesn't buy happiness but $10, 000 or so would let me take care of almost everything outside of mental & weight issues.Money buys you "absence of grinding misery". Hope your day is going well.
Made a list today, setting the things I need to deal with and their urgency. People say money doesn't buy happiness but $10, 000 or so would let me take care of almost everything outside of mental & weight issues.Money buys you "absence of grinding misery". Hope your day is going well.
House and car are mountains. 8)Does that make my wallet Fort Knox?
House and car are mountains. 8)Does that make my wallet Fort Knox?
Maybe...but it makes mine a ghost town. :highfive:You're far too modest buddy man. :)
House and car are mountains. 8)Does that make my wallet Fort Knox?
Maybe...but it makes mine a ghost town. :highfive:
OKay, I got some samples of something called Latuda and I know it's only been a couple days, but I'm starting to have more positive feelings lately, more positive than anything I've had in a long time. I've got this certain feeling of lightness that's making life seem much more colorful and enjoyable than it used to be.
I know several people on that, and they really enjoy it.Too bad I just have samples. :( My insurance would have to pre-auth it because they might not pay for it.
I've realized that most of my personal issues are due to the fact that my mood swings a lot during the day, but I don't have a root cause. Most people are a lot more stable than I am.
Any thoughts?
At the one month mark of getting off clonazepam. Been an adventure. :oAfter what you said, I was really worried for you, but you seem to be OK...ish(?),
At the one month mark of getting off clonazepam. Been an adventure. :oAfter what you said, I was really worried for you, but you seem to be OK...ish(?),
I wish I could do something more with my life.Then take the next chance that comes up to get the hell out and go for it. That's what I did when I was in a funk 25years ago.**
I wish I could do something more with my life.Then take the next chance that comes up to get the hell out and go for it. That's what I did when I was in a funk 25years ago.**
**True story.
That's kinda what I did, except it was to Japan and on my own, but that's the drift. break the pattern.I wish I could do something more with my life.Then take the next chance that comes up to get the hell out and go for it. That's what I did when I was in a funk 25years ago.**
**True story.
That's kind of my idea for planning out this trip to The Netherlands. I have the means, barely, but I do have them, and I feel like spending a good amount of time with my boyfriend will help me out a lot.
I'm broken. I'm garbage. I want to feel it. I miss it. I want it again. I want to feel the blood down my arm. I can't do anything. Im useless trash and shouldn't be alive.Hey... come on. Don't be like that Cupcake. You know I feel the same way a lot of times too. But then I think about how much everybody I know... just KNOW would be hurt and be devastated that I was gone. I know you must have family, and however you think or feel about them, ask yourself would they truly want you gone? I don't care what you're thinking, the answer is NO.
I'm broken.
Today I found out that the trip I want to take will be nearly impossible. I don't know what to do.There are just some things I cannot answer Lawful. Just remain hopeful, and whatever variables are in the way, see if there's any way at all of working around them, and even if there aren't, you should still never give up.
I wish it wasn't night. I can't sleep without hours of fighting it. I can't be happy. Everything and all the crappy stuff gets amplified. I hate the night and dark.It's not the night and the dark that bothers me anymore. Believe me, it used to quite frequently. Then I realized that not only is nothing in the dark, but all the scary stuff is not external, it's all internal to myself, so I reason that in fact I am scarier than the darkness in some ways.
Can you sleep in the day? I can't sleep at night, either...have to do it in the day. Well, most of the time.
I hope not, but that can happen.On the other hand, these diet pills my Doctor prescribed me seem to be working pretty well so far. I just hope my dumbass body doesn't build up a tolerance to them as well.
Now I'm really disturbed. It's almost midnight, everybody is asleep, and I'm... feeling like shit again. Dammit, medications aren't working anymore. That's how it seems anyway. It's like all these negative emotions seeping through the dam.
If the diet pills you mentioned in the previous post are stimulants, then you may be suffering a rebound effect from them when they wear off, which would be likely to crash your mood.To be fair it's no different than before I started them, so no I honestly don't think it's a crash
I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
Is that text system anonymous? If so they probably don't keep a record of what you have sent in before.
Try to use the repeat questions as an exorcise, try to think of different answers, anything to get your mind looking at anything from a different perspective, rather than repeating what you have thought before.
Is that text system anonymous? If so they probably don't keep a record of what you have sent in before.
Try to use the repeat questions as an exorcise, try to think of different answers, anything to get your mind looking at anything from a different perspective, rather than repeating what you have thought before.
It's anonymous yeah, but at the same time, I'm not getting mad at him for not knowing what I said in conversations with other people. I'm mad at him for asking me about stuff that I just told him.
http://www.sciencealert.com/new-alzheimer-s-treatment-fully-restores-memory-function (http://www.sciencealert.com/new-alzheimer-s-treatment-fully-restores-memory-function)
So today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Out of left field. On the plus side, I have vodka.
So today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Out of left field. On the plus side, I have vodka.
Wow, things seemed to be going so well. Sorry to hear that.
So, that's what he wanted to talk about. :-[ I hope you can cope with this. *hugs*
This hurts so much. I wish my last suicide attempt worked.Lawful you really, really need to stop thinking that way. It doesn't do you any good and it just hurts us all here. I have my moments where I think people don't care, but that's wrong because people do care. From the one person at Starbucks who enjoys your jokes, to the random person on the street you smile at. You make a difference in the lives of people with your life. Never throw it away Lawful, please, not for anything. Please, you've REALLY got to stop talking that way. You deserve to have and live a healthy and happy life and you deserve no less than that.
Spent 10 minutes arguing with someone about transwomen. His assertion was that I am not and will never be a woman, because I don't have a period, can't get pregnant, things like that. I argued that so the fuck what, a woman isn't her chromosomes. People that are convinced that facts are people are very dickish.
Spent 10 minutes arguing with someone about transwomen. His assertion was that I am not and will never be a woman, because I don't have a period, can't get pregnant, things like that. I argued that so the fuck what, a woman isn't her chromosomes. People that are convinced that facts are people are very dickish.
I wouldn't be surprised if there was a gene for the differences between the male and female brain, independent from the ones that tell the body to be configured male or female. They are finding stuff like that all the time now. Eventually all this stuff society has issues with will be proved to be stuff people are conceived with and not changeable by simply telling people not to be that way.
Back to the argument, did you ask him if a woman has a hysterectomy is she still a woman? Are elderly woman still women?
Spent 10 minutes arguing with someone about transwomen. His assertion was that I am not and will never be a woman, because I don't have a period, can't get pregnant, things like that. I argued that so the fuck what, a woman isn't her chromosomes. People that are convinced that facts are people are very dickish.Fuck that guy. Just ignore him.
Anyway, I'm thinking I need to look for affordable counseling in my area because I need some help processing all this without resorting to self medication.That may be for the best. Go to a place that accepts your insurance and you may need to talk to more than one counselor before you find one who matches your personality and everything.
Anyway, I'm thinking I need to look for affordable counseling in my area because I need some help processing all this without resorting to self medication.That may be for the best. Go to a place that accepts your insurance and you may need to talk to more than one counselor before you find one who matches your personality and everything.
These days, if I try to 'do nothing' (like not watch TV or do stuff on the computer) I tend to have thoughts about the multitude of regrets I have. Everything from being unable to socialize (so no potential for dating or a life partner for the rest of my life, unable to visit with my parents in Illinois for almost a decade who are now about 90 years old and clearly getting ready to 'move on', much less have even just short visits with friends),
to losing my career that I spent so much of my life attaining,
to not being able to read much (because visualizing for a novel is mentally exhausting [though even reading comics is mentally exhausting], and reading more technical stuff is exhausting to comprehend),
to the huge amounts of money I've lost because I couldn't think clearly enough to do things (everything from selling things worth over $1000 on eBay for about $50 because I couldn't think clearly enough to recognize what I was doing,
to the over 1/4 of a million $ I've lost to the insurance company's avoiding medical reimbursement,
to losses even predating the head injuries [where those investments could really help me out financially now, had I held on to them (near-complete Marvel superhero comics I collected in my teens, but sold before moving to Michigan for grad school for neuropsychology training, would be worth 2-3 million dollars now and would make life considerably less financially stressful - plus I just regret getting rid of them)]). And numerous other things I regret and/or get angry about. So 'not distracting myself' with something results in a downward spiral of my mood.
Functioning (marginally) better today... at least enough to write more than what I did before.
Thank you, Soguru. I really appreciate the support.
Thank you very much anais. I greatly appreciate you addressing each point I made. And yes, I did get a couple chuckles from things you wrote (about reading, and the parenthesied 'learned thing' from The Last Unicorn). It does help to know that you care about my presence here, and that I've made a difference. Because I tend not to think about it as I'm just 'doing what I do'. With that, it often doesn't register for me that what I write has impact (unless it is the negative from my botching writing something [or simply write too much] and that is pointed out to me).
And, anais, to respond to your semi-question, no, I don't visit any other forum regularly, and even if I do visit on rare occasion, I almost never comment elsewhere: so if I'm not commenting here, basically I'm not 'talking' anywhere online.
anais, I plan to print out what you wrote so I can remind myself as needed of the many helpful things you wrote. Thank you.
Lawful_Cupcake, how everyone treats and acts on their sexuality is their own decision. The only thing that would be 'wrong' was if you were doing things you weren't comfortable with as a way to 'punish' yourself or make yourself feel worse. With that, use protection for disease prevention, as you don't want experimentation or sex play to result in lifetime disease of any kind that could make things worse for you. [You might want to rethink your sources for partners, as I've heard some bad things about Craig's List contacts. But that may not be the case.]
Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.
Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.
That's shitty. I've never understood how people just fall in and out of love like that. Maybe it's because for me, "love" is more than just that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It's more about attachment and truly caring about the person you're with and their wants and needs. It's why I say that I loved my ex-wife, but I was never "in love" with her. She never gave me that euphoric feeling you get with someone you're attracted to, but I cared about her and did what I could to support her. I never fawned over her, or whispered sweet nothings, or did any of that romantic shit that apparently she wanted. And over the years, her "love" for me turned into resentment that blew our differences out of proportion until that was all she saw anymore. And then she found someone else and got knocked up.
Anyway, what I'm saying, LC, is that I understand what being dumped by the one person who was supposed to be there for you is like. It's even worse when they took a vow in front of everyone you know to be there for you. And I know how empty meaningless sex can feel for someone who tends toward depression. It's good to get out there every now and then when you aren't looking for anything serious, but don't let it drag you down further or hurt someone else in the process.
I hope the new car will alleviate some of your anxiety, Marty! Good luck~
I hope the new car will alleviate some of your anxiety, Marty! Good luck~
It's the process of buying the darn thing that has my heart racing. I hate haggling, hate listening to sales people trying to push stuff, hate the trying to get more for the trade in, etc, etc.... Once it's over I'll be able to calm down.
Took 2 benadryl 2 hours ago hoping it would make me drowsy enough to want to sleep, so far not so much, but I better get off the computer and at least lie still all night and even if I don't fall asleep I'll be somewhat rested.
Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.
That's shitty. I've never understood how people just fall in and out of love like that. Maybe it's because for me, "love" is more than just that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It's more about attachment and truly caring about the person you're with and their wants and needs. It's why I say that I loved my ex-wife, but I was never "in love" with her. She never gave me that euphoric feeling you get with someone you're attracted to, but I cared about her and did what I could to support her. I never fawned over her, or whispered sweet nothings, or did any of that romantic shit that apparently she wanted. And over the years, her "love" for me turned into resentment that blew our differences out of proportion until that was all she saw anymore. And then she found someone else and got knocked up.
Anyway, what I'm saying, LC, is that I understand what being dumped by the one person who was supposed to be there for you is like. It's even worse when they took a vow in front of everyone you know to be there for you. And I know how empty meaningless sex can feel for someone who tends toward depression. It's good to get out there every now and then when you aren't looking for anything serious, but don't let it drag you down further or hurt someone else in the process.
I called him because I thought we'd still had a chance, I thought that maybe we could work things out, because he'd been telling me he still loved me. Then when I try to work stuff out with him, he tells me that he hasn't loved me since a few days before he broke up. It's like I'm getting broken up with all over again.
Called Bas. Talked to him for like two hours. Got told that he doesn't love me anymore.
That's shitty. I've never understood how people just fall in and out of love like that. Maybe it's because for me, "love" is more than just that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It's more about attachment and truly caring about the person you're with and their wants and needs. It's why I say that I loved my ex-wife, but I was never "in love" with her. She never gave me that euphoric feeling you get with someone you're attracted to, but I cared about her and did what I could to support her. I never fawned over her, or whispered sweet nothings, or did any of that romantic shit that apparently she wanted. And over the years, her "love" for me turned into resentment that blew our differences out of proportion until that was all she saw anymore. And then she found someone else and got knocked up.
Anyway, what I'm saying, LC, is that I understand what being dumped by the one person who was supposed to be there for you is like. It's even worse when they took a vow in front of everyone you know to be there for you. And I know how empty meaningless sex can feel for someone who tends toward depression. It's good to get out there every now and then when you aren't looking for anything serious, but don't let it drag you down further or hurt someone else in the process.
I called him because I thought we'd still had a chance, I thought that maybe we could work things out, because he'd been telling me he still loved me. Then when I try to work stuff out with him, he tells me that he hasn't loved me since a few days before he broke up. It's like I'm getting broken up with all over again.
Well, like I said, that is really shitty. Even if it was true, you don't tell someone that. You make up a pretty lie and tell them that it's not you, it's me. Geez, use some decorum, people. It's why past asking whether my wife was in love with her new guy before we officially, physically separated in June, I haven't asked her a damn thing about her feelings about me. I don't want to know. I really don't give a shit. Especially knowing what I know now. Her stupid ass doesn't deserve me.
It's odd her can tell LC basically the day he stopped loving her. Odd...
It's odd her can tell LC basically the day he stopped loving her. Odd...
I was thinking the same thing, love is not something you can normally switch off that quickly.
I'm half way through buying a new car, kind of worked out well splitting it up since I had to come in to work for a few hours after noon. So test drove the car in the morning and started some of the paperwork, going back in the afternoon to finish up. Doing it in stages is keeping my heart rate down a bit.
It's odd her can tell LC basically the day he stopped loving her. Odd...
I was thinking the same thing, love is not something you can normally switch off that quickly.
I'm half way through buying a new car, kind of worked out well splitting it up since I had to come in to work for a few hours after noon. So test drove the car in the morning and started some of the paperwork, going back in the afternoon to finish up. Doing it in stages is keeping my heart rate down a bit.
He didn't just switch it off. Things had been apparently degrading for a month or so.
It's odd her can tell LC basically the day he stopped loving her. Odd...
I was thinking the same thing, love is not something you can normally switch off that quickly.
I'm half way through buying a new car, kind of worked out well splitting it up since I had to come in to work for a few hours after noon. So test drove the car in the morning and started some of the paperwork, going back in the afternoon to finish up. Doing it in stages is keeping my heart rate down a bit.
He didn't just switch it off. Things had been apparently degrading for a month or so.
I understand that. But, he told you he stopped loving you a few days before the breakup. I find that odd, as in, "don't believe him." I think it's more likely what you just said, that it degraded over time. That seems to be how it goes for most people. :(
Anyway, I must say, LC- Compared to my impression of you when I first arrived here, you seem to be a much stronger person now. I'm not saying you don't hurt, or anything like that. But, you have grown much stronger. :) I'm glad about that!
It's odd her can tell LC basically the day he stopped loving her. Odd...
I was thinking the same thing, love is not something you can normally switch off that quickly.
I'm half way through buying a new car, kind of worked out well splitting it up since I had to come in to work for a few hours after noon. So test drove the car in the morning and started some of the paperwork, going back in the afternoon to finish up. Doing it in stages is keeping my heart rate down a bit.
He didn't just switch it off. Things had been apparently degrading for a month or so.
I understand that. But, he told you he stopped loving you a few days before the breakup. I find that odd, as in, "don't believe him." I think it's more likely what you just said, that it degraded over time. That seems to be how it goes for most people. :(
Anyway, I must say, LC- Compared to my impression of you when I first arrived here, you seem to be a much stronger person now. I'm not saying you don't hurt, or anything like that. But, you have grown much stronger. :) I'm glad about that!
I'm not. I'm not anything. Im useless and I'm trash. I'm not worth caring about. I should've ended it properly ages ago.
It's odd her can tell LC basically the day he stopped loving her. Odd...
I was thinking the same thing, love is not something you can normally switch off that quickly.
I'm half way through buying a new car, kind of worked out well splitting it up since I had to come in to work for a few hours after noon. So test drove the car in the morning and started some of the paperwork, going back in the afternoon to finish up. Doing it in stages is keeping my heart rate down a bit.
He didn't just switch it off. Things had been apparently degrading for a month or so.
I understand that. But, he told you he stopped loving you a few days before the breakup. I find that odd, as in, "don't believe him." I think it's more likely what you just said, that it degraded over time. That seems to be how it goes for most people. :(
Anyway, I must say, LC- Compared to my impression of you when I first arrived here, you seem to be a much stronger person now. I'm not saying you don't hurt, or anything like that. But, you have grown much stronger. :) I'm glad about that!
I'm not. I'm not anything. Im useless and I'm trash. I'm not worth caring about. I should've ended it properly ages ago.
Alright, none of that, missy. I understand your hurt over being led to believe everything was fine when it wasn't. That's why I've made sure that in the small amount of dating that I've done since separating I've been completely up-front and honest and not said anything that I didn't actually feel. So when I've come to the conclusion that I didn't see it going anywhere, I told them that. I'm not going to lie and drag anything out to smooth things over. I've seen firsthand what happens in the long run. And it ain't pretty.
Just because this relationship ended, don't let it mess with your sense of self worth. It hurts and it'll take some time to grieve before you move on, but who you are at the core was not dependent on that relationship. I've come to see that myself recently. I even hid some aspects of my true self during my marriage and found other parts to play, but now I'm rediscovering who I am and what I really want for my life. Yeah, at the worst times, I feel like a failure and that I'll never find someone who will get me, but one thing I know now for certain is that being alone is much better than being with the wrong person. It's never good when a relationship becomes a prison instead of a partnership.
If you kill yourself, you will mentally harm others. Especially if you do it at someone else's house or with someone else's gun. I can't recall you ever wanting to harm someone else, but suicide will hurt those around you. Absolutely will.
What exactly is it you can't do?
You're smoking to commit suicide? Well, that might work, but it would surely suck if you found your happiness a day before you realize you have terminal cancer.
RVR,He finally paid me on the 3rd but only after I had to email him to remind him..
I'm sorry to hear about this guy stressing your life. The sooner he is out of your life, the better!
He sounds like trouble. :(
I has a fun night... why do I want to dieYou need something to distract yourself from whatever is causing all your stress and anxiety. Whenever you feel that way, call the help line, 1 800 273 8255, watch an episode of MST3k, a movie, a tv show, eat a bowl of cheerios, ANYTHING to get your mind off that stuff. Just keep in mind... I'm no doctor and all my advice amounts to basically little more than me just talking out my ass.
FUUU*k! Today is Friday?? DAMN IT! :angry:Yep...going to have to play Diablo 3 all day tomorrow and Sunday, Fallout 4 isn't out yet. Sigh :P
FUUU*k! Today is Friday?? DAMN IT! :angry:Yep...going to have to play Diablo 3 all day tomorrow and Sunday, Fallout 4 isn't out yet. Sigh :P
I met a man I am actually attracted to, and it's weird. Shit just got real.So is he a Man's-Man, a Ladies-Man, a Man-Bear-Pig? :P
For my birthday next week can I please troll this thread?
Why am I still talking to Bas? I still don't know. I know that he keeps telling me how great of a girlfriend I was, and then saying reasons why he left.
Why am I still talking to Bas? I still don't know. I know that he keeps telling me how great of a girlfriend I was, and then saying reasons why he left.
Oh, FFS. Why even say stuff like that? That's some serious mind fuckery right there.
I finally told my ex that I'd told my lawyers about her being pregnant and that they'd gotten an extension until a paternity test was done. Why? Because she asked. I'm tired of the lies and dishonesty. I was trying to come up with a way to tell her, but I didn't want to lie and say that I didn't know what was going on with my attorney. She asked and I bit the bullet and told her. The last thing she said in a text was "Thank you for telling me."
(https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSFAdyMN8hgGFWjxOsytHddarE9Nrfdxif1RTe8fqh-zILkNq8y)
Just because someone is a 'great girlfriend' doesn't necessarily mean that you are compatible together. So the one doesn't necessarily correspond to the other.
Just because someone is a 'great girlfriend' doesn't necessarily mean that you are compatible together. So the one doesn't necessarily correspond to the other.
I can second that. My son's mom was an amazing girlfriend. Sweet, thoughtful, and great in bed. But after a while, I realized that our personalities just didn't sync. Not for me, anyway. So I broke it off. And then she found out she was pregnant. Sigh... Sometimes I think my divorce is karma paying me back for what I did during that time. I was kind of an ass.
I met a man I am actually attracted to, and it's weird. Shit just got real.So is he a Man's-Man, a Ladies-Man, a Man-Bear-Pig? :P
super skinny guys don't do it for me... I like at least some muscle structure. Don't have to be huge guys, but a bit... and a beard... and a healthy smattering of body hair...I met a man I am actually attracted to, and it's weird. Shit just got real.So is he a Man's-Man, a Ladies-Man, a Man-Bear-Pig? :P
Whichever one makes him super smart, really funny, and....well also super hot (well, to me: super tall and skinny, I mean HOW? I friggin get off watching American Ninja Warrior and this guy, although all muscle, couldn't get more muscle mass or muscle definition to save his life...but I digress....)
I also digress because he lives in Denver, and I am still here....for now*
*I was planning on moving back to D-town before I met him.
super skinny guys don't do it for me... I like at least some muscle structure. Don't have to be huge guys, but a bit... and a beard... and a healthy smattering of body hair...
super skinny guys don't do it for me... I like at least some muscle structure. Don't have to be huge guys, but a bit... and a beard... and a healthy smattering of body hair...
I love muscles, beards, and chest hair. This guys has none of those things*. Despite all this, I was still attracted to him. It's weird. Not sure if I like it. There is a lot of safety in never putting yourself out there to the opposite sex.
*Well he has muscles, but like I said, he is still super skinny.
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASEMAY I HAVE ANOTHER?? :-X
MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?? :-XPLEASEThank you sir,
Yes Maam! :speechless:MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?? :-XPLEASEThank you sir,
Get on the ball, RVR
Yes Maam! :speechless:MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?? :-XPLEASEThank you sir,
Get on the ball, RVR
Thankfully I have enough loyalty to rifftrax forum for both of us.Not anymore BWAHAHAHAHA
Hung is banned. I picked him when he joined, and we gave him the benifit of the doubt. Sorry LC, should have gone with my gut and ejected him then and there.
Hung is banned. I picked him when he joined, and we gave him the benifit of the doubt. Sorry LC, should have gone with my gut and ejected him then and there.
Thanks Grug. I'm having a bad night, I really didn't need this.
Hung is banned. I picked him when he joined, and we gave him the benifit of the doubt. Sorry LC, should have gone with my gut and ejected him then and there.
Thanks Grug. I'm having a bad night, I really didn't need this.
Sorry to hear that.
I am certain it is the same dummy who used to join, cause havoc and get banned. He is so dumb that I picked him three posts in.
I would recommend that these threads both have updates to their first posts (and first lines, probably) to say that only members with a minimum post count can participate. People who don't make the cut will have their posts deleted, and people who keep posting will be banned.
(This is a suggestion that you guys are welcome to ignore)
If it makes you feel any better, it's pretty obvious that he camped in this thread because it was an easy way for him to get ammunition and to upset people. He is not a real person with real opinions, just a not very smart piece of shit looking to upset people to get off.
Go Hung yourself :rimshot:Thankfully I have enough loyalty to rifftrax forum for both of us.Not anymore BWAHAHAHAHA
I think you may be barking up the wrong tree, fruity
So boring.
admit it you're getting a boner
Seems like a sad person. Banned now, but if he comes back yet again, feel free to let us know.
Seems like a sad person. Banned now, but if he comes back yet again, feel free to let us know.
Seems like a sad person. Banned now, but if he comes back yet again, feel free to let us know.
He'll probably be back another few times tonight. He's convinced he's getting under my skin :P
At least don't quote him.
Oh my bad :o
:scared: :speechless:Oh my bad :o
You're next on the banning list!
He was trolling and attempting to upset me by attacking my identity. Didn't bother me, he got banned, came back, got banned again, now Grug I'd going to ban RVR because he's from the south.Ahhhh. I think RVR will be okay. Don't worry. :)
He was trolling and attempting to upset me by attacking my identity. Didn't bother me, he got banned, came back, got banned again, now Grug I'd going to ban RVR because he's from the south.Ahhhh. I think RVR will be okay. Don't worry. :)
I'm very contrary, so you are just making me want to ban him more!But without RVR who will be here to do stuff like post gifs?
I'm very contrary, so you are just making me want to ban him more!But without RVR who will be here to do stuff like post gifs?
Aww golly gee wiz I'm gonn miss you guys :'(
I guess we don't need him at all any more.
I also found out Ein isn't allowed.
I am having a really hard week. I haven't had a week like this in a long time. I will not let it break meWe're all here for you Anais.
But I am going to cry a whoooooooooooooooooooole lot.
I totally developed kind of a crush on somebody... who recently got engaged. I realized that I need to put my crush aside because if I truly love this person then I need to be happy for them and be happy that they are happy with who they're going to be with. I realized that's the only ethical and moral way for me to feel.
Today is my wedding anniversary. The first one since we separated. So I'm reminded of what a failure I am at marriage and that I'm still alone. Most of the time I can tell myself that it hasn't even been a year yet, so I shouldn't want to rush into another relationship. Today is not one of those days. On one hand, it's good that I have my daughter tonight, so I won't feel completely abandoned, but at the same time, I can't get properly shitfaced because I need to be responsible. Add to that wonderful feeling of inadequacy that my son called me last night and told me that he wants to change his last name to his mother's. I'm not surprised and it's been coming for years, but I always hoped that he'd decide to keep my name. I don't blame him. I haven't reliably been there for him other than paying my child support. Some of that is his mother's fault, but in all honesty, I could've fought harder for him like I have for my daughter. I'm sure as far as he's concerned, I chose my ex-wife's boys and my daughter over him. And look what that got me . . .
Ugh, good luck with that,Thanks. I'm sure gonna need it :-[
That sucks, I knew there was something bad about how those bunnies died, unfortunately it sounds like you are going to have to call the cops to remove him. Hope he doesn't damage your property on his way out, he sounds crazy enough to start a fire or something.Agreed.
I don't post here much but..And so it begins..
Got an ongoing issue with my soon-to-be ex-roomate that helped me build my Mega-Shed on my vacant lot next door back in 2011 and has been living in it ever since. I owed him $10000 dollars for labor owed that I have been paying off since January, 2012; He would pay me $300 a month where $150 would go towards the monthly utility bill and the other $150 I let him keep to put towards the labor owed.
I've mentioned him before in the completely random thoughts and RRRRRARRRRRGH threads I believe because back in September, 2015, I asked for the $150 utility payment 1 day early because we were heading off to Mexico October 1st and he went off on me by email saying that it wasn't his problem it was mine and saying "I'm not your ATM", and accused me of spying on him yet he installed cameras when I was in Mexico spying my me and my property, threatened to call the police if I had anymore fires in my outdoor fireplace, as well as threatening to call animal control about my dog so I had to basically give him away. A couple months back he threw out 8 rolls of insulation that were for under the floor and got rained on a little as well as dragging my chest freezer out and shoving it up against the back gate to where I couldn't open it. I have since sold the insulation and chest freezer. I also got word from one of his coworkers that he poisoned my bunnies while I was in Mexico just before we got back and he bragged about it to his coworkers! And just a couple weeks ago while I was at a St Patrick's Day event in downtown, he chains up and locks my back gate preventing me access to that portion of my property!
We were friends for over 18 years and I knew he had mental issues but I, as well as my family tried to help him by giving him work over the years but he ended that back in September with his psycho actions and accusations!
Now as the remaining balance is $595, I have refused any further payment from him. I had an attorney draw up a '30 Day Notice of Termination of Agreement' to be sent to him the end of this month stating that effective May 2, he will have 30 days to vacate the property.
The next couple of months are gonna be interesting because the remaining balance as of this month is $595 and now he's starting to wonder what I'm doing because he didn't pay anything in March and I just refused April's payment and then he sends me an email asking if I'm waiting on our agreement to end before putting him out? I didn't reply as I don't need any additional stress because of his bipolar issues and it's quite possible he could do something stupid that will require me to call the police.
I simply want him gone by the end of May but if he chooses to pack up earlier then I'm all for that but I just don't think this will go very smoothly :-\
I feel sick for you. I hope it goes better than I think it will.Oh I know. Thanks. :-[
I hope it goes smoothly, RVR II. It sounds very disturbing to deal with the bizarre and invasive behavior.Oh it is.
That's awesome, RVR! Super happy for you!Thanks! I'm quietly celebrating ;D
That's awesome, RVR! Super happy for you!Thanks! I'm quietly celebrating ;D
Well, that may be true but this is an exception ;DThat's awesome, RVR! Super happy for you!Thanks! I'm quietly celebrating ;D
I never imagined you to do things quietly.
Well, that may be true but this is an exception ;DThat's awesome, RVR! Super happy for you!Thanks! I'm quietly celebrating ;D
I never imagined you to do things quietly.
Almost immediately! :cheers:Well, that may be true but this is an exception ;DThat's awesome, RVR! Super happy for you!Thanks! I'm quietly celebrating ;D
I never imagined you to do things quietly.
When he's finally gone the real celebrating will happen then?
If he hasn't booby trapped the place. I'm not joking.Almost immediately! :cheers:Well, that may be true but this is an exception ;DThat's awesome, RVR! Super happy for you!Thanks! I'm quietly celebrating ;D
I never imagined you to do things quietly.
When he's finally gone the real celebrating will happen then?
I also plan on moving a lot of stuff over there right away; from our spare bedroom, and stored in my shed, freeing up a lot of space in both places.
It will become my very own 'Man Cave' ;D
I don't think he's that stupid but I wouldn't put it past him.. :scared:If he hasn't booby trapped the place. I'm not joking.Almost immediately! :cheers:Well, that may be true but this is an exception ;DThat's awesome, RVR! Super happy for you!Thanks! I'm quietly celebrating ;D
I never imagined you to do things quietly.
When he's finally gone the real celebrating will happen then?
I also plan on moving a lot of stuff over there right away; from our spare bedroom, and stored in my shed, freeing up a lot of space in both places.
It will become my very own 'Man Cave' ;D
Watching TV and going on the web. Explain this "off the grid" to me again.Living off the land basically; little to no contact with others.. Living like a hermit.
Progress update: The move out of psycho continues at a slow but steady paceAin't over 'til it's over.
:highfive:
Just 2 more weeks to go..
This is true :oProgress update: The move out of psycho continues at a slow but steady paceAin't over 'til it's over.
:highfive:
Just 2 more weeks to go..
This is true :oProgress update: The move out of psycho continues at a slow but steady paceAin't over 'til it's over.
:highfive:
Just 2 more weeks to go..
I'm a firm believer in Karma 8)This is true :oProgress update: The move out of psycho continues at a slow but steady paceAin't over 'til it's over.
:highfive:
Just 2 more weeks to go..
You ARE going to murder him, to avenge the bunnies, right? :grr:
Also, he can't cause any immigration trouble for "The Wife," can he? I wouldn't put anything past this guy...be careful and keep your eyes open.
I'm a firm believer in Karma 8)This is true :oProgress update: The move out of psycho continues at a slow but steady paceAin't over 'til it's over.
:highfive:
Just 2 more weeks to go..
You ARE going to murder him, to avenge the bunnies, right? :grr:
Also, he can't cause any immigration trouble for "The Wife," can he? I wouldn't put anything past this guy...be careful and keep your eyes open.
The wife became a Naturalized Citizen back in 2006 so she's good. I just want the guy gone and if he tries anything stupid, he'll just be shooting himself in the foot so to speak :-X
The first part of the week was a steady flow of him moving boxes out of there but nothing the last few days (probably due to the rainy weather), but so far it appears he will be out by the end of May. :oI'm a firm believer in Karma 8)This is true :oProgress update: The move out of psycho continues at a slow but steady paceAin't over 'til it's over.
:highfive:
Just 2 more weeks to go..
You ARE going to murder him, to avenge the bunnies, right? :grr:
Also, he can't cause any immigration trouble for "The Wife," can he? I wouldn't put anything past this guy...be careful and keep your eyes open.
The wife became a Naturalized Citizen back in 2006 so she's good. I just want the guy gone and if he tries anything stupid, he'll just be shooting himself in the foot so to speak :-X
Yeah, I wasn't serious about murder. :speechless: Karma WILL take care of this guy...
I'm glad Mrs. VR can't be hassled! :highfive:
Hopefully, he wants to move on with his life, and will do just that.
I've been having issues. I'm in a good, stable relationship. I love him, he loves me. We listen to each other's needs.Everything is going great. Except that I resent him for not being my ex.It's stupid, it's ridiculous, and I hate myself for it. They're even similar people, except my new boyfriend is 13 years older. We get along despite our differences in opinions on politics. I feel like I'm sabotaging it by constantly being annoyed that he's not Bas, and I just don't know what to do.
I burned over 600 postcards.AH HA!
I burned over 600 postcards.AH HA!
I found the culprit for Global Warming! :P
What a dick. :angry:Actually, it looks like he already left for good a couple hours ago :o
What a dick. :angry:Actually, it looks like he already left for good a couple hours ago :o
So I decided to go over and check out the inside but he apparently changed the door locks and never returned the keys..
No big deal really as I had already planned on calling a locksmith to re-key all the door locks on both my house and the Mega-Shed anyway before we left for Mexico so I guess I'll be giving them a call first thing in the morning ::)
Went ahead and threw that tv in the garbage can since trash day is tomorrow and went ahead and wheeled it down to the street so that'll be one less thing to worry about.
The city has a recycling truck that will come by and pick it up 8)
My Happy pic as I officially take full control of my Mega-Shed after 4 1/2 years 8)
(http://i.imgur.com/3PxyPUH.jpg)
The city has a recycling truck that will come by and pick it up 8)
My Happy pic as I officially take full control of my Mega-Shed after 4 1/2 years 8)
(http://i.imgur.com/3PxyPUH.jpg)
I'm glad things are apparently working out, but...don't rent to anyone else, O.K?
Well I need the money but let me show you what he left on the inside once the locksmith was able to pick the locks..The city has a recycling truck that will come by and pick it up 8)
My Happy pic as I officially take full control of my Mega-Shed after 4 1/2 years 8)
(http://i.imgur.com/3PxyPUH.jpg)
I'm glad things are apparently working out, but...don't rent to anyone else, O.K?
can you call the cops, over him cutting cables??It's probably not worth it..
Yeah I couldn't do anything with the size of the pics either..
Oh, and the forum no longer resizing images it kind of a pain, I ended up installing a "view image in new tab" plugin in order to see the pictures.
can you call the cops, over him cutting cables??It's probably not worth it..
Just some minor infraction and a minimal cost. :-\
Oh yeah I'm so done with him.yeah. After I posted, I started thinking along the lines of what Marty said: Small claims court. Hopefully, this will be over forever, and you'll not have to deal with this guy again.can you call the cops, over him cutting cables??It's probably not worth it..
Just some minor infraction and a minimal cost. :-\
Worth it to be rid of him, I'm sure.Yeah the cut cables, his trashed desk, and all the other stuff caused by his temper-tantrum are minor and not worth perusing.
Yeah I couldn't do anything with the size of the pics either..
Oh, and the forum no longer resizing images it kind of a pain, I ended up installing a "view image in new tab" plugin in order to see the pictures.
I just right-clicked each one to view it :-\
OOO It worked!Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Wow. That's some nasty shit there (the trashed desk, but mostly the multiply-cut cables - that's just being a dick). But like you said: a small price to pay to be rid of him.I woke up this morning with a smile on my face, walked over to the back side of the Mega-Shed, looked at the debris pile and just laughed. I'm talking a good belly laugh! >:D
I was thinking about it, and wondering if in his paranoia (colloquial def'n, not clinical one), he wasn't so much spying on you, but trying to keep track if someone else was spying on him... in other words: not so much that he wanted to see what you were doing, but to be able to see instantly if someone was looking at him. With him not liking to be 'tracked', that seems a possibility (if only of intellectual, not practical, interest).
Some unsolicited advice about picking battles in a relationship:
If the stakes are truly important to you, don't back down. Work for a compromise or agree-to-disagree state. Don't give up something fundamental to you for anyone else.
If the stakes have somehow simply become about winning- if you find yourself saying, "I don't even care about the stupid _____ I just can't let them have this!" Walk away. You don't really need that kind of victory.
So, a friend who was basically the inspiration for my fiiiiiiiiiiiinally getting into therapy committed suicide, she had a lot of mental and physical illnesses all of which seemed to be getting worse along with her life generally (understandably not going well) however she was in-person very chatty and friendly.
The last interaction we had she had was trying to arrange a table for a quiz night, I said I couldn't go for no real reason other than anxiety and wanting to 'save' money for drinking and she said she was disappointed. After I heard the news I checked the FB conversation and literally everyone on the list that had responded had said no ...I can't help but think the idea that she was going to see friends and have a nice night might have kept her going for at least another couple of weeks.
I'm so sorry to hear that Lucas. :( I can imagine that's been a very trying for you.
So, a friend who was basically the inspiration for my fiiiiiiiiiiiinally getting into therapy committed suicide, she had a lot of mental and physical illnesses all of which seemed to be getting worse along with her life generally (understandably not going well) however she was in-person very chatty and friendly.
The last interaction we had she had was trying to arrange a table for a quiz night, I said I couldn't go for no real reason other than anxiety and wanting to 'save' money for drinking and she said she was disappointed. After I heard the news I checked the FB conversation and literally everyone on the list that had responded had said no ...I can't help but think the idea that she was going to see friends and have a nice night might have kept her going for at least another couple of weeks.
I'm really sorry to hear that, man, and while she might have been trying to see a friend, it wasn't in any way your fault.
So, a friend who was basically the inspiration for my fiiiiiiiiiiiinally getting into therapy committed suicide, she had a lot of mental and physical illnesses all of which seemed to be getting worse along with her life generally (understandably) not going well however she was in-person very chatty and friendly.I'm so sorry Scott. It's times like this I wish I had something more to offer than mere words. :(
I can't help but think the idea that she was going to see friends and have a nice night might have kept her going for at least another couple of weeks.
A part of me is relieved, but I really do not want to deal with being around him when my folks have both died and I have to get my stuff (and 'distribute' theirs) from their house. It will be trying enough to simply get there (~275 mile drive each way - no way could I deal with airports, plus I'll need a car while there).
A part of me is relieved, but I really do not want to deal with being around him when my folks have both died and I have to get my stuff (and 'distribute' theirs) from their house. It will be trying enough to simply get there (~275 mile drive each way - no way could I deal with airports, plus I'll need a car while there).
Will you have to deal with selling the house? Or is someone in the family going to get it?
I'm glad I don't have to deal with that since my dad sold the house 4 years ago, all I have left to deal with are bank accounts, just spent the morning at Bank Of America signing things, signing papers to get a bunch of money would normally be a fun thing to do, but it was depressing as hell. The papers today are supposed to be the last ones needed to release the funds to me, but I'm guessing the chances of BOA not messing something up are about 50/50.
Well, there is one other thing to deal with, his ashes, I think he is eligible for the Navy burial at sea program, so I need to call and get that info. Although they don't allow civilians to attend since they do it from a ship on active duty. So the decision for me is to sent him off that way or take him myself to the same spot in the ocean off Block Island that my mom was placed. The Navy option I would get the flag and they usually record a video, so I'd have that as a memento, and he talked about his time on the USS Blenny more than any job he ever had....
In addition to the problems from all that, I have to somehow get my father to at least make me co-executor of the will, because my brother - with this shit the way its been - would definitely be fucking me out of my stuff (a huge number of valuable '60s collectibles), and my half of the folks' stuff if I don't have SOME level of control.
I hope LC is doing better these days, or at least hanging in there....
Well, Andrea told me that people were reminiscing and junk, and I've been debating popping back in for a while because my social circle is small as heck. Figured now was as good of a time as any.
You realize that she continually violated your boundaries while she was drunk. If you say No, SHE should have stopped and her blaming it on the fact that she was drunk is no worse than Brock Turner blaming his thing on drinking.
You realize that she continually violated your boundaries while she was drunk. If you say No, SHE should have stopped and her blaming it on the fact that she was drunk is no worse than Brock Turner blaming his thing on drinking.
It falls on the sober person to recognize the intoxicated person is not behaving rationally. If the sober person continues to say no and the drunk person forces themself onto the sober person then it is the intoxicated person at fault. But saying no and then deciding to say yes while the other person is still intoxicated is still the fault of the sober person.
Cultural bias does make it harder for a man to refuse, guys are never supposed to say no, and while a woman could kick the crap out of a guy while saying no it would not be seen the same way if a guy did the same while saying no.
I hate slippery slopes altogether myself :P
Slippery slopes lead to broken limbs, and broken limbs lead to crowded hospitals, then that leads to widespread disease, and pretty soon you have an entire zombie apocalypse to deal with!
Well..I hate slippery slopes altogether myself :P
What if you are sliding down them?
You realize that she continually violated your boundaries while she was drunk. If you say No, SHE should have stopped and her blaming it on the fact that she was drunk is no worse than Brock Turner blaming his thing on drinking.
It falls on the sober person to recognize the intoxicated person is not behaving rationally. If the sober person continues to say no and the drunk person forces themself onto the sober person then it is the intoxicated person at fault. But saying no and then deciding to say yes while the other person is still intoxicated is still the fault of the sober person.
Cultural bias does make it harder for a man to refuse, guys are never supposed to say no, and while a woman could kick the crap out of a guy while saying no it would not be seen the same way if a guy did the same while saying no.
So, she can blame the fact that she was drunk? That seems like a slippery slope. Do all women just get a pass? Should it always be the man's responsibility? That seems like a slippery slope too. But I'm sure I'm just victim blaming again (sarcasm).
As a woman, what I say may or may not matter as much, but here goes:
Lucas is 100% correct. You realize that she continually violated your boundaries while she was drunk. If you say No, SHE should have stopped and her blaming it on the fact that she was drunk is no worse than Brock Turner blaming his thing on drinking.
Everything else that happened is based on our sick culture of society as Lucas said.
But the absolute BEST thing about you, which Brock hasn't done, my ex-boyfriend (he didn't sexually assault me, but that is a small digression), and so many other men never do is that you told us. You told us the truth including what you did that you regret. That is the best way to heal.
I am the type of person who equates sexual violence with some sort of proof that a woman is highly beautiful and desired. I get jealous when I read about other, prettier, more successful women who have been assaulted. My therapist and I are going to spend a LOT of time figuring out what exactly happened in my life to make my brain think that way. Is it victim shaming or victim blaming to say I'm jealous of women who are assaulted? Many others will think so, but it's my truth, and lying about it is not going to help me in any way.
What you experienced is very powerful and very important. Owning it, living with it, and growing from it is taking responsibility, which, again, the Brock Turners and Benjamin Kellers of the world don't do.
Score one for the good guys!
Love, Anais
PS: You have no control over her, so deciding to engage with her because you think it would help her is probably dangerous. If she reacts negatively, how will that make you feel when you thought you were helping her. Talk to and engage with her because it will help you, the only person in this world you are in control of. You can hope it helps her, but please don't think that you are some white knight and talking about this will save her. A) she is an adult and doesn't need a white knight and B) if she rebukes you, that might make you feel like an asshole again.
So, she can blame the fact that she was drunk? That seems like a slippery slope. Do all women just get a pass? Should it always be the man's responsibility? That seems like a slippery slope too. But I'm sure I'm just victim blaming again (sarcasm).You realize that she continually violated your boundaries while she was drunk. If you say No, SHE should have stopped and her blaming it on the fact that she was drunk is no worse than Brock Turner blaming his thing on drinking.It falls on the sober person to recognize the intoxicated person is not behaving rationally. If the sober person continues to say no and the drunk person forces themself onto the sober person then it is the intoxicated person at fault. But saying no and then deciding to say yes while the other person is still intoxicated is still the fault of the sober person.
Cultural bias does make it harder for a man to refuse, guys are never supposed to say no, and while a woman could kick the crap out of a guy while saying no it would not be seen the same way if a guy did the same while saying no.
I actually have a specific therapist for boundaries and consent. I will discuss it on Thursday.
She can't blame the fact that she was drunk for assaulting VoC. That is 100% on her. But, prior to the final outcome, VoC could have pried himself away from her and left without injuring her - because men are physically stronger than women in general. And him having that responsibility is not because men need to be the responsible parties all the time, but because he was the one who was SOBER, that put him in the 'gatekeeper' position for how much he would participate in the events of the night. The fact is that he 'gave in' and participated since it was someone who he had wanted to be with for a long time. So the responsibility is split: her for initiating romantic/sexual contact while drunk and not taking his repeated 'no's as his response, and him for using society's distortions (e.g. alcohol=disinhibiter) as a personal rationalization at the time for ultimately joining in.
That leaves a mess, ultimately. Neither was 100% responsible for the entire event, nor was either 100% victim. But both participated in part, and both were victims in this event.
Ok this is.. Weird..She called again and wanted to meet up.. Oh boy.. :-\
A woman I dated briefly back in the mid-90s called me out of the blue a little while ago and sent her condolences for my wife. Her mother passed away back on April 10 so she's a mess emotionally so we talked for a couple of hours.. She's been through a lot with a psycho ex that was killed in a head on motorcycle crash back in 2015 and seeing this guy in his late 50s to early 60s (she's 40 I think), had a bankruptcy several years ago and has had either a drug or alcohol addiction that she's still recovering from but yeah she just calls me up out of the blue after all this time ??? Don't even know what to do with her :-\
I go to her apartment and she's so happy to see me after all this time and she wanted to go out somewhere so I took her to a restaurant we went to back 22 years ago because she hadn't been to the new location before. We caught up on old times on the way and while there.. Then she ordered a screwdriver and I asked if that was a good idea because of her issues from the past and she said it was ok and she would be fine.. Not even half way through the drink and she's ready to sleep with me! Literally, she wanted me to take her to my place and fuck!! I told her that we've both been through a lot of emotional trauma and I think we should hold off on that for now.. After 3 hours at the restaurant I take her home and on the way she became and emotional mess saying she didn't want to go back to her place because her boyfriend was gonna be there ... "WHAT?! I didn't know you were still seeing someone!!" I said adamantly! I told her that I don't need to be involved in this and reaching her apartment complex I drove around to another parking lot so that her boyfriend wouldn't look out the window and see her getting out of my van.. She didn't want to get out because she was scared he would beat her! I'm thinking to myself what the fuck did I just get myself into and said look I can't get involved with this and I wasn't bringing her to my place.. She started to come to her senses after passing out in the passenger's seat for 30 minutes and I'm sitting in the driver's seat wondering what the fuck I was going to do with her.. After waking up she apologized to me for dragging me into this and as she's fumbling around in her purse for her keys, a pint of Svedka Vodka falls out of her purse! I'm just quietly thinking to myself "PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETTHEFUCKOUT..." and before she finally does, she hugs me and kisses my neck saying she loves me 3 or 4 times before finally closing the door and then I bolted out of there and came home! :scared:
Yeah my first date since my wife's passing and now I'm ready to stay single for quite some time :speechless:
I probably should have posted my incident here instead of the Completely Random Thoughts thread so I'll quote it here for some Anais (and others) feedback :oOk this is.. Weird..She called again and wanted to meet up.. Oh boy.. :-\
A woman I dated briefly back in the mid-90s called me out of the blue a little while ago and sent her condolences for my wife. Her mother passed away back on April 10 so she's a mess emotionally so we talked for a couple of hours.. She's been through a lot with a psycho ex that was killed in a head on motorcycle crash back in 2015 and seeing this guy in his late 50s to early 60s (she's 40 I think), had a bankruptcy several years ago and has had either a drug or alcohol addiction that she's still recovering from but yeah she just calls me up out of the blue after all this time ??? Don't even know what to do with her :-\
I go to her apartment and she's so happy to see me after all this time and she wanted to go out somewhere so I took her to a restaurant we went to back 22 years ago because she hadn't been to the new location before. We caught up on old times on the way and while there.. Then she ordered a screwdriver and I asked if that was a good idea because of her issues from the past and she said it was ok and she would be fine.. Not even half way through the drink and she's ready to sleep with me! Literally, she wanted me to take her to my place and fuck!! I told her that we've both been through a lot of emotional trauma and I think we should hold off on that for now.. After 3 hours at the restaurant I take her home and on the way she became and emotional mess saying she didn't want to go back to her place because her boyfriend was gonna be there ... "WHAT?! I didn't know you were still seeing someone!!" I said adamantly! I told her that I don't need to be involved in this and reaching her apartment complex I drove around to another parking lot so that her boyfriend wouldn't look out the window and see her getting out of my van.. She didn't want to get out because she was scared he would beat her! I'm thinking to myself what the fuck did I just get myself into and said look I can't get involved with this and I wasn't bringing her to my place.. She started to come to her senses after passing out in the passenger's seat for 30 minutes and I'm sitting in the driver's seat wondering what the fuck I was going to do with her.. After waking up she apologized to me for dragging me into this and as she's fumbling around in her purse for her keys, a pint of Svedka Vodka falls out of her purse! I'm just quietly thinking to myself "PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETTHEFUCKOUT..." and before she finally does, she hugs me and kisses my neck saying she loves me 3 or 4 times before finally closing the door and then I bolted out of there and came home! :scared:
Yeah my first date since my wife's passing and now I'm ready to stay single for quite some time :speechless:
I probably should have posted my incident here instead of the Completely Random Thoughts thread so I'll quote it here for some Anais (and others) feedback :oOk this is.. Weird..She called again and wanted to meet up.. Oh boy.. :-\
A woman I dated briefly back in the mid-90s called me out of the blue a little while ago and sent her condolences for my wife. Her mother passed away back on April 10 so she's a mess emotionally so we talked for a couple of hours.. She's been through a lot with a psycho ex that was killed in a head on motorcycle crash back in 2015 and seeing this guy in his late 50s to early 60s (she's 40 I think), had a bankruptcy several years ago and has had either a drug or alcohol addiction that she's still recovering from but yeah she just calls me up out of the blue after all this time ??? Don't even know what to do with her :-\
I go to her apartment and she's so happy to see me after all this time and she wanted to go out somewhere so I took her to a restaurant we went to back 22 years ago because she hadn't been to the new location before. We caught up on old times on the way and while there.. Then she ordered a screwdriver and I asked if that was a good idea because of her issues from the past and she said it was ok and she would be fine.. Not even half way through the drink and she's ready to sleep with me! Literally, she wanted me to take her to my place and fuck!! I told her that we've both been through a lot of emotional trauma and I think we should hold off on that for now.. After 3 hours at the restaurant I take her home and on the way she became and emotional mess saying she didn't want to go back to her place because her boyfriend was gonna be there ... "WHAT?! I didn't know you were still seeing someone!!" I said adamantly! I told her that I don't need to be involved in this and reaching her apartment complex I drove around to another parking lot so that her boyfriend wouldn't look out the window and see her getting out of my van.. She didn't want to get out because she was scared he would beat her! I'm thinking to myself what the fuck did I just get myself into and said look I can't get involved with this and I wasn't bringing her to my place.. She started to come to her senses after passing out in the passenger's seat for 30 minutes and I'm sitting in the driver's seat wondering what the fuck I was going to do with her.. After waking up she apologized to me for dragging me into this and as she's fumbling around in her purse for her keys, a pint of Svedka Vodka falls out of her purse! I'm just quietly thinking to myself "PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETTHEFUCKOUT..." and before she finally does, she hugs me and kisses my neck saying she loves me 3 or 4 times before finally closing the door and then I bolted out of there and came home! :scared:
Yeah my first date since my wife's passing and now I'm ready to stay single for quite some time :speechless:
That is probably another reason I avoid relationships. Not just because of my financial situation, there's not just the potential for unhealthy drama, but you never truly know a person until you've spent so much time with them. Some people put up a veneer where they seem to be totally in control of themselves, but sometimes you never know how a person may act or behave when that veneer disappears and you're left wondering WTF to do.
K.. Maybe I'm old but what's Ghosting ???I probably should have posted my incident here instead of the Completely Random Thoughts thread so I'll quote it here for some Anais (and others) feedback :oOk this is.. Weird..She called again and wanted to meet up.. Oh boy.. :-\
A woman I dated briefly back in the mid-90s called me out of the blue a little while ago and sent her condolences for my wife. Her mother passed away back on April 10 so she's a mess emotionally so we talked for a couple of hours.. She's been through a lot with a psycho ex that was killed in a head on motorcycle crash back in 2015 and seeing this guy in his late 50s to early 60s (she's 40 I think), had a bankruptcy several years ago and has had either a drug or alcohol addiction that she's still recovering from but yeah she just calls me up out of the blue after all this time ??? Don't even know what to do with her :-\
I go to her apartment and she's so happy to see me after all this time and she wanted to go out somewhere so I took her to a restaurant we went to back 22 years ago because she hadn't been to the new location before. We caught up on old times on the way and while there.. Then she ordered a screwdriver and I asked if that was a good idea because of her issues from the past and she said it was ok and she would be fine.. Not even half way through the drink and she's ready to sleep with me! Literally, she wanted me to take her to my place and fuck!! I told her that we've both been through a lot of emotional trauma and I think we should hold off on that for now.. After 3 hours at the restaurant I take her home and on the way she became and emotional mess saying she didn't want to go back to her place because her boyfriend was gonna be there ... "WHAT?! I didn't know you were still seeing someone!!" I said adamantly! I told her that I don't need to be involved in this and reaching her apartment complex I drove around to another parking lot so that her boyfriend wouldn't look out the window and see her getting out of my van.. She didn't want to get out because she was scared he would beat her! I'm thinking to myself what the fuck did I just get myself into and said look I can't get involved with this and I wasn't bringing her to my place.. She started to come to her senses after passing out in the passenger's seat for 30 minutes and I'm sitting in the driver's seat wondering what the fuck I was going to do with her.. After waking up she apologized to me for dragging me into this and as she's fumbling around in her purse for her keys, a pint of Svedka Vodka falls out of her purse! I'm just quietly thinking to myself "PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETTHEFUCKOUT..." and before she finally does, she hugs me and kisses my neck saying she loves me 3 or 4 times before finally closing the door and then I bolted out of there and came home! :scared:
Yeah my first date since my wife's passing and now I'm ready to stay single for quite some time :speechless:
Ghost* that crazy person. She is clearly addicted to drama (and alcohol).
*I am perfectly ok with Ghosting in certain circumstances. This is one.
K.. Maybe I'm old but what's Ghosting ???I probably should have posted my incident here instead of the Completely Random Thoughts thread so I'll quote it here for some Anais (and others) feedback :oOk this is.. Weird..She called again and wanted to meet up.. Oh boy.. :-\
A woman I dated briefly back in the mid-90s called me out of the blue a little while ago and sent her condolences for my wife. Her mother passed away back on April 10 so she's a mess emotionally so we talked for a couple of hours.. She's been through a lot with a psycho ex that was killed in a head on motorcycle crash back in 2015 and seeing this guy in his late 50s to early 60s (she's 40 I think), had a bankruptcy several years ago and has had either a drug or alcohol addiction that she's still recovering from but yeah she just calls me up out of the blue after all this time ??? Don't even know what to do with her :-\
I go to her apartment and she's so happy to see me after all this time and she wanted to go out somewhere so I took her to a restaurant we went to back 22 years ago because she hadn't been to the new location before. We caught up on old times on the way and while there.. Then she ordered a screwdriver and I asked if that was a good idea because of her issues from the past and she said it was ok and she would be fine.. Not even half way through the drink and she's ready to sleep with me! Literally, she wanted me to take her to my place and fuck!! I told her that we've both been through a lot of emotional trauma and I think we should hold off on that for now.. After 3 hours at the restaurant I take her home and on the way she became and emotional mess saying she didn't want to go back to her place because her boyfriend was gonna be there ... "WHAT?! I didn't know you were still seeing someone!!" I said adamantly! I told her that I don't need to be involved in this and reaching her apartment complex I drove around to another parking lot so that her boyfriend wouldn't look out the window and see her getting out of my van.. She didn't want to get out because she was scared he would beat her! I'm thinking to myself what the fuck did I just get myself into and said look I can't get involved with this and I wasn't bringing her to my place.. She started to come to her senses after passing out in the passenger's seat for 30 minutes and I'm sitting in the driver's seat wondering what the fuck I was going to do with her.. After waking up she apologized to me for dragging me into this and as she's fumbling around in her purse for her keys, a pint of Svedka Vodka falls out of her purse! I'm just quietly thinking to myself "PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETTHEFUCKOUT..." and before she finally does, she hugs me and kisses my neck saying she loves me 3 or 4 times before finally closing the door and then I bolted out of there and came home! :scared:
Yeah my first date since my wife's passing and now I'm ready to stay single for quite some time :speechless:
Ghost* that crazy person. She is clearly addicted to drama (and alcohol).
*I am perfectly ok with Ghosting in certain circumstances. This is one.
Ah ok cause she's tried contacting me a couple days after this happened and I ignored her, then nothing till October 5th when she messaged me inviting me to meet her at Applebees for dinner and I never responded again so I'm Ghosting her pretty well then 8)K.. Maybe I'm old but what's Ghosting ???I probably should have posted my incident here instead of the Completely Random Thoughts thread so I'll quote it here for some Anais (and others) feedback :oOk this is.. Weird..She called again and wanted to meet up.. Oh boy.. :-\
A woman I dated briefly back in the mid-90s called me out of the blue a little while ago and sent her condolences for my wife. Her mother passed away back on April 10 so she's a mess emotionally so we talked for a couple of hours.. She's been through a lot with a psycho ex that was killed in a head on motorcycle crash back in 2015 and seeing this guy in his late 50s to early 60s (she's 40 I think), had a bankruptcy several years ago and has had either a drug or alcohol addiction that she's still recovering from but yeah she just calls me up out of the blue after all this time ??? Don't even know what to do with her :-\
I go to her apartment and she's so happy to see me after all this time and she wanted to go out somewhere so I took her to a restaurant we went to back 22 years ago because she hadn't been to the new location before. We caught up on old times on the way and while there.. Then she ordered a screwdriver and I asked if that was a good idea because of her issues from the past and she said it was ok and she would be fine.. Not even half way through the drink and she's ready to sleep with me! Literally, she wanted me to take her to my place and fuck!! I told her that we've both been through a lot of emotional trauma and I think we should hold off on that for now.. After 3 hours at the restaurant I take her home and on the way she became and emotional mess saying she didn't want to go back to her place because her boyfriend was gonna be there ... "WHAT?! I didn't know you were still seeing someone!!" I said adamantly! I told her that I don't need to be involved in this and reaching her apartment complex I drove around to another parking lot so that her boyfriend wouldn't look out the window and see her getting out of my van.. She didn't want to get out because she was scared he would beat her! I'm thinking to myself what the fuck did I just get myself into and said look I can't get involved with this and I wasn't bringing her to my place.. She started to come to her senses after passing out in the passenger's seat for 30 minutes and I'm sitting in the driver's seat wondering what the fuck I was going to do with her.. After waking up she apologized to me for dragging me into this and as she's fumbling around in her purse for her keys, a pint of Svedka Vodka falls out of her purse! I'm just quietly thinking to myself "PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETOUT-PLEASEGETTHEFUCKOUT..." and before she finally does, she hugs me and kisses my neck saying she loves me 3 or 4 times before finally closing the door and then I bolted out of there and came home! :scared:
Yeah my first date since my wife's passing and now I'm ready to stay single for quite some time :speechless:
Ghost* that crazy person. She is clearly addicted to drama (and alcohol).
*I am perfectly ok with Ghosting in certain circumstances. This is one.
Cutting them out, not returning calls or messages.
As much as I hate to say it, there is just so much potential for shit to come with relationships. They're like a double edged sword. They have their good points, but they can be a huge burden too.That is probably another reason I avoid relationships. Not just because of my financial situation, there's not just the potential for unhealthy drama, but you never truly know a person until you've spent so much time with them. Some people put up a veneer where they seem to be totally in control of themselves, but sometimes you never know how a person may act or behave when that veneer disappears and you're left wondering WTF to do.
That's basically what Benjamin did. But the more he became unraveled, the more I realized he was manipulating me, the more violent he got, the more I was willing to call the cops.
BTW, the day I finally called the cops on him, he was mostly finished with his yelling/assaulting fit, and I was in my room watching Game of Thrones and HE KEPT INTERRUPTING ME TO YELL AT ME MORE. By the third time, I called the cops.
So, for the rest of my life, I can say this: "You know what happened to the last person who disturbed me during Game of Thrones!"
Also, if a man wants to stop the women's flirtations and then uses his physical strength to stop her, does that become assault because, as Lucas said that I don't agree with, "men are stronger than women."
But, prior to the final outcome, VoC could have pried himself away from her and left without injuring her - because men are physically stronger than women in general.
Also RVR I'm sure that ghosting will work after some time. Some people are thick but they'll eventually get the point and back off.Next time she tries to contact me, I'll just tell her directly to leave me alone.
Also RVR I'm sure that ghosting will work after some time. Some people are thick but they'll eventually get the point and back off.Next time she tries to contact me, I'll just tell her directly to leave me alone.
The idea that Dolezal and transgender people are fundamentally alike shouldn’t need another debunking.
There are at least 700,000 transgender people in the U.S. alone—enough to establish it as a palpable, if often invisible, population. People like Rachel Dolezal, on the other hand, are few and far between, hence her almost inherent newsworthiness.
The American Psychological Association (APA), too, has long recognized the possibility of one’s “gender identity” not conforming to “the sex to which they were assigned at birth.” There never has been nor is there likely to ever be equivalent recognition for identification as another race.
Transgender people transition out of medical necessity. Dolezal’s “transition” to black, on the other hand, is surrounded by layers of deception—the Howard lawsuit, the false claim to an African-American father, the refusal to correct newspapers that misidentified her as “biracial”—that she was unwilling to fully unravel in her conversation with Lauer.
And unlike transgender people who can undergo medically-proven hormonal and surgical treatments to embody their new gender, Dolezal cannot become black in any meaningful sense. When asked by Lauer how she had altered her physical appearance, she responded, “I certainly don’t stay out of the sun.”
There’s no comparison between the effects of years of hormone therapy and a day on the beach.
from here: https://www.thedailybeast.com/dolezals-damaging-transracial-game
Can they also consider for a minute that race and gender are actually two different things? That however you want to argue for the complexities of the constructions of both — and I'm with you there — those complexities are not the same? A fascinating Rolling Stone piece just last year explored the biology of being transgender, noting, among other points, "the brains of trans people do look different." A Boston University study earlier this year supports the idea that "There is increasing evidence of a biological basis for gender identity." And as trans woman Meredith Talusan further illuminates, "The fundamental difference between Dolezal’s actions and trans people’s is that her decision to identify as black was an active choice, whereas transgender people’s decision to transition is almost always involuntary." So if you want to make a case that being "transracial" is like being transgender, knock yourself out, but I'd like to see some data first, thanks.
From here: https://www.salon.com/2015/06/15/rachel_dolezal_is_not_caitlyn_jenner_race_and_gender_are_not_the_same/
Lesbunny, I think the only thing you can do is validate your friends' feelings and support them. If this person is suffering from a type of dysphoria, you could possibly help with that? I felt dysphoria for a 24 hour period once. It was insane how hard that affected my psyche, so maybe your friend could use help with that?
What is the life satisfaction rate for people who have gotten therapy vs those who have not gotten any therapy?
OH SNAP!! :rimshot:What is the life satisfaction rate for people who have gotten therapy vs those who have not gotten any therapy?
What is the life satisfaction rate for people who keep registering accounts and being so bad at trolling they get banned right away?
Wait is this that same guy who was doing this a year ago?
Wait is this that same guy who was doing this a year ago?
He's been at it since 2013 at least. That's how sad this guy is. I feel a little bit sorry for him, to be honest.
He's seriously just the worst. You don't WANT to just ban everyone who comes in and says something in his unique color of stupid, because maybe it's just some other dumb guy who thought he was being funny, but it's always him. I think we're in the high-20s/low-30s for how many times he's pulled this.That many?! Holy shit! Man, get a clue and find another forum already... or better yet, learn to follow the forum rules!
He's seriously just the worst. You don't WANT to just ban everyone who comes in and says something in his unique color of stupid, because maybe it's just some other dumb guy who thought he was being funny, but it's always him. I think we're in the high-20s/low-30s for how many times he's pulled this.
Waking and thinking it's a different day isn't a very big deal, I do that all the time.It just bothers me because I seem to be doing that a lot more often than I used to.
But maybe you're just set to Australian time? It is Monday here. ;)
Sorry to hear about that. I actually got to meet her once, a few years ago. She came to one of the Quiptracks showings when I was visiting them in Colorado.
Warning: the following contains content of a sexual nature
Warning: the following contains content of a sexual nature
That's shitty. I feel for your struggle. I wonder what is worse: trying to find a girl online or trying to find a guy. I'm leaning toward your situation being worse. In my experience, when trying to find a woman to have some fun with I just end up weeding through countless bots pretending to be women, or men who have no interest in talking to me (and I no interest in talking to them). It's tedious, but not terribly difficult to weed out the bots. What's more difficult is actually finding someone worth talking to, because I haven't been able to in quite a while.
Whereas to find a guy you have to sort through thousands of awful people, and it's not as easy to judge right away if a guy is awful. Must be shitting putting all that time into a conversation only to find out the guy sucks. I have a feeling the two are connected. Since it's so difficult for women to find a decent guy there just aren't any women around.
Oh, and because we make the internet a hostile, dangerous and degrading place for women. That too.
So the judge won't accept a hung jury or mistrial ???
The judge would rather force the jurors to come back with a guilty or not guilty verdict despite other jurors questioning some issues with the case?
That seems a bit extreme to me that you all are being punished because the judge refuses to grant a mistrial on your case.. :-\
I can't even fathom what this judge would consider a fair amount of time the way he sounds.. :-\So the judge won't accept a hung jury or mistrial ???
The judge would rather force the jurors to come back with a guilty or not guilty verdict despite other jurors questioning some issues with the case?
That seems a bit extreme to me that you all are being punished because the judge refuses to grant a mistrial on your case.. :-\
He says he will accept a mistrial, but only after he feels we have given the case enough time to deliberate.
A lot of general anxiety coping skills probably would be effective; having a drink of water, taking a few deep breaths to relax your mind a bit. Try to avoid playing the should game, because that tends to add more stress to whatever you're experiencing. The big thing I can suggest is try to find alternative angles to examine the facts of the case from, because maybe it'll change someone's mind. Another one is to just kind of accept that you're in this position now, and it's going to be over when it's over. That one usually helps me the most when I'm in confined stressful environments anymore. Hell of a difficult thing to do to acknowledge it without assigning and emotion to it, because it's kind of intuitively ingrained into us, but it helps. It's kind of along the lines of what EMDR tries to accomplish in helping processing emotional responses to memory and trauma. You don't worry about the things that should have happened, you just have to focus on processing what's in front of you at the moment.
I might be speaking complete nonsense, had a bit of a long day and it was crazy hot. I hope anything I typed out can help, though.
Try to avoid playing the should game, because that tends to add more stress to whatever you're experiencing.
Try to avoid playing the should game, because that tends to add more stress to whatever you're experiencing.
In inpatient they told us not to should all over our selves.
I start clinical work on Wednesday, and I'm kind of freaking out about it. This is going to be my first taste of nursing work, and it will be my first taste of work in about 4 years. The professor keeps talking about how a lot of people aren't cut out for nursing, and because I'm an anxious piece of garbage, I keep thinking that what if I'm not? It's been a pretty heavy focus of mine for about a year and a half now, and I'm worried I'll make a ton of mistakes and discover that I'm not cut out to be a CNA, much less a nurse. I'm also scared of dealing with the patients. I don't want to hurt them, and there will be a lot of unpleasant things to deal with in the day. And what if I screw up and don't follow proper hygiene procedures leading to an infection? What if I report things I shouldn't or worse, don't report things I should because I just don't know? I know that I'll be with people who are certified, and they'll know everything, but it just... I'm fucking freaking out.
I'd say talk to the one that is training you, ask her how she deals emotionally with difficult residents. It is something you will have to learn how do deal with.
So, I went on a date with another person today, which is cool, and everyone involved knows about each other, fiancée, partner, me, all good.Lesbunny you two are consenting adults so there's absolutely no reason for anybody to judge you. I understand how you might think an age difference might worry you, but she's over 18 so IMO you have no reason to worry about anyone thinking you're a creep or creepy. (Sorry I took so long to reply by the way)
I'm just worried that me dating a 23 year old is a little on the low side for me. It's only a 5 year difference, but idk how my friends and family might take that. We have another date Sunday, she's coming over and we're gonna hang out and cook and watch Netflix and shit. I don't have an issue with it, she's cute as hell, I like her, we did some making out in my car that was awesome, I just worry I look like a creep.
Can I just say it fucking sucks knowing that I can't get pregnant? Because it does. dysphoria is hitting me like a mother fucker today.I’m so sorry Lesbunny. I can’t imagine how that feels . :'(