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Members Hub => Board Games for the Bored => Topic started by: UncleDesmond on December 23, 2013, 11:33:38 AM

Title: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: UncleDesmond on December 23, 2013, 11:33:38 AM
RULES: 1 point for giving the actual completed quote and 100,000points for a funnier version.

Crappy example: "Roses are red / Violets are blue..."

"Allergies will / Have a different effect on you." [Told you it was crap: you can do better]

Here's the next one:

"We have nothing to fear but..."

Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on December 23, 2013, 07:26:17 PM
We have nothing to fear but guys who wear No Fear t shirts.

The good of the many outweighs the needs of...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on December 24, 2013, 02:42:05 AM
Carl.

A stitch in time saves...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on December 24, 2013, 09:01:46 AM
A stitch in time saves from having tears in the fabric of reality.

One fish, two fish, red fish, ...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: UncleDesmond on December 24, 2013, 02:09:44 PM
"....aaaand I think you've had enough to drink Mr Scheider."
(http://www.dvdbeaver.com/film/DVDCompare11/a%20Steven%20Spielberg%20Jaws%20DVD%20Review/6th%20jaws%20steven%20spielberg%20dvd%20review.jpg)

Next: "Ask not what your country can do for you..."

Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on December 24, 2013, 02:15:08 PM

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask "Where the bitches at?"

Of three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on December 24, 2013, 02:19:21 PM

Of three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, he was a slobbery bitch lacking all traces of masculinity.

Freedom is the right of all...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: UncleDesmond on December 24, 2013, 02:23:06 PM
...Duck Hunters to say what the hell they like.

Next: "I'm....too sexy for my shirt / Too sexy for my shirt / ...."

Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on December 25, 2013, 12:30:53 PM
But most people are for "Who farted" shirts.

"God bless us, every..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: UncleDesmond on December 26, 2013, 03:19:03 PM
...time we sneeze.

Next up: "Friends, Romans, Countrymen. Lend me..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 04, 2014, 05:26:13 PM
...is appropriate and 'borrow me' is not.  OK?!"

Next:  "I left my heart in..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on January 04, 2014, 06:12:03 PM
the seventh circle of hell.

"A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on January 04, 2014, 07:12:54 PM


A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when the plot requires him to.


"It is a far, far better thing I do, than I have ever done..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: UncleDesmond on January 05, 2014, 04:58:54 AM
"...as host of Saturday Night Live"

Next: "I come to bury Caesar, not.."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 05, 2014, 03:10:21 PM
"Little Caesar's.  Pizza Pizza!"

Next, from the pen of Leonard Cohen: "Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on January 09, 2014, 11:06:35 AM
Next, from the pen of Leonard Cohen: "Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, I fucking love cocaine!"

"I'm Commander Sheppard, and this it my favorite..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: UncleDesmond on January 09, 2014, 06:46:58 PM
"...gay bar in the WHOLE of San Fran."

"I like to be in America / ...."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 10, 2014, 05:35:22 PM
Where I don't have to watch Being Erica."

Next: "One night in Bangkok..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on January 17, 2014, 06:40:43 PM
could lead to death by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 18, 2014, 02:17:43 AM
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me... Maybe." - US President Carly Rae Jepson

"In the kingdom of the blind..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on January 23, 2014, 03:24:30 PM
"In the kingdom of the blind the artwork really sucks!"

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 24, 2014, 03:38:56 AM
"...tip.  I'm really unpopular in restaurants."

"Fools rush in where angels..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 09, 2014, 01:32:00 PM
...have left their gold-colored scat.

"Why. Do. Birds / suddenly appear / every time / you.."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 09, 2014, 07:49:27 PM
...have left their gold-colored scat.

"Why. Do. Birds / suddenly appear / every time / you.."
dip yourself in honey and anise seeds.
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 10, 2014, 06:06:06 AM
You forgot to add a new quote.
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 10, 2014, 11:28:05 AM
Ok: I'll fill in

"It is a far far better thing I do now..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 10, 2014, 11:42:46 AM
"It is a far far better thing I do now than I have ever done before.  Banging two babes at the same time!"

"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 10, 2014, 11:45:48 AM
"...highly irritating to the uncaffeinated."

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen. Lend me..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 10, 2014, 01:55:32 PM
"...highly irritating to the uncaffeinated."

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen. Lend me a chariot.  Brutus has been acting strange, lately."

"That's one small step for a man..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 10, 2014, 01:59:53 PM
"...and eight weeks at full throttle for a paramecium."

"I'm. Too sexy for my..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 10, 2014, 02:14:00 PM
"...and eight weeks at full throttle for a paramecium."

"I'm. Too sexy for my hand."       hahaha!   Sorry, that was totally inappropriate!

"I dig a pygmy..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 10, 2014, 02:17:33 PM
"I dig a pygmy while my pig digs me."


"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 10, 2014, 02:55:22 PM
"... Poison Ivy rash on my legs. Time to break out the Roundup, baby!"

"I met a traveler from an antique land / Who said two vast and..."

Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on August 10, 2014, 04:46:58 PM

"I met a traveler from an antique land / Who said two vast and..."
trunklike legs of Groot.


"Back off man, I'm a..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 10, 2014, 05:17:52 PM

"I met a traveler from an antique land / Who said two vast and..."
trunklike legs of Groot.


"Back off man, I'm a transvestite!"

Four Score and seven years ago....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 10, 2014, 05:54:50 PM
...should tell you I've only had sex four times in the last seven years.

"Daylight come and me..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 10, 2014, 06:04:39 PM
"Daylight come and me have to spend a 10 hour shift at the office."


"Nobody puts Baby in a..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 10, 2014, 06:08:07 PM
"...Blender like Imrahil."

"This was no boating...."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 11, 2014, 02:06:03 PM
"This was no boating" death, so there will be no wake...."

A good man is like...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 11, 2014, 02:49:27 PM
...kinda like hard to like keep when you like say "like" every like word. Duh!"

My love is like a red red....

Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 13, 2014, 01:55:24 PM
...Green.  At least I am found handy.

Next (from HL Mencken)
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 13, 2014, 02:03:55 PM
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that 711 burrito you are about to bite into may bite you back at some point in the next 6-12 hours."

"I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on August 13, 2014, 02:11:08 PM

I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of kickass. Want some gum?


I can't believe she wore that to...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 14, 2014, 11:38:53 AM
I can't believe she wore that to the nudist colony.  Although anything would have been a faux pas.

What happens in Vegas...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 16, 2014, 12:57:00 PM
I can't believe she wore that to the nudist colony.  Although anything would have been a faux pas.

What happens in Vegas...
Can often be cured with a strong course of penicillin.

Next:  Now is the time for all good men....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 16, 2014, 07:36:03 PM
.. to stand aside.  The GREAT MEN are in town!

Next:  From Richard the Second...

"I Wasted Time and Now..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 17, 2014, 02:37:40 PM
.. to stand aside.  The GREAT MEN are in town!

Next:  From Richard the Second...

"I Wasted Time and Now... it's too late to gather my nuts"

Next: (Charlton Heston voice) You did it!  You finally, really did it....

Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 17, 2014, 02:41:52 PM
 You did it!  You finally, really did it...  You made the double down!  DAMN YOU!  DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

Next: A dream you dream alone is only a dream...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 24, 2014, 07:30:18 AM
...until you have to wash the sheets again.

Next: "What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Early..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 24, 2014, 09:26:06 AM
Edition should never have been cancelled!

Next:
From the tagline of the Fox and the Hound

"Two Friends that didn't know..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 24, 2014, 09:42:26 AM
"Shit from Shineola."

Your honor, My client...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 24, 2014, 01:06:43 PM
, Harvey Dent, is guiltocent!

Next: Another movie tagline:

The story of a man who was too proud to...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 25, 2014, 04:50:14 AM
"The story of a man who was too proud to shit in a public toilet."

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on August 25, 2014, 07:46:57 AM


“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows wherefore art Carmen SanDiego."


The money's hidden in the...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 25, 2014, 08:06:50 AM
Do you realize wherefore means why?
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 25, 2014, 02:22:26 PM
Do you realize wherefore means why?

I didn't.  Not paying attention to Shakespeare cost me again.
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 26, 2014, 06:07:42 PM
The money's hidden in the...
bank.  In retrospect, an obvious hiding spot.

Next: Haste makes...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 26, 2014, 06:12:53 PM
... an intriguing side dish for trout a la creme.

Next: If I said you had a beautiful body would you...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 26, 2014, 06:36:17 PM
... an intriguing side dish for trout a la creme.

Next: If I said you had a beautiful body would you...

go blabbing to Hilary?

Next: I come to praise Caesar, not...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on August 26, 2014, 06:54:32 PM

Next: I come to praise Caesar, not...
...get poo flung at me.


Next: I'm a little tea...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 26, 2014, 07:48:42 PM

Next: I'm a little tea...

teapsy.  No worries, I've only had scree threwdrivers.
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 27, 2014, 08:03:57 AM
Yes, and....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 27, 2014, 02:32:26 PM
Yes, and....

Yes, and it looks like I forgot to put the next quote on the thread!

Next: Mom!  I just saw Dad kiss...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 27, 2014, 03:43:51 PM
...inger's old drinking buddy!

Next: High explosive! Railroaded! High voltage! I'm a....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 28, 2014, 07:03:04 PM
 ... Crazy Larry impersonator in the subway.

Next:  He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood.
He'll make you...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 29, 2014, 05:00:43 AM
Next:  He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood.
He'll make you...

a Xanax omelet.

Next: Easy come...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 29, 2014, 02:51:18 PM
... I'm sorry, this almost never happens.  Let's just cuddle.

Next: Waste not, want...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 29, 2014, 03:17:42 PM
Waste not, want the biggest piece of birthday cake.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 29, 2014, 03:32:10 PM
"... you can leave your lover that Paul Simon missed."

"The quality of mercy..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 29, 2014, 03:36:28 PM
is thoroughly tested by our abstract concept quality control division.

Next:  Nirvana is a state of pure...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 29, 2014, 06:58:28 PM
Next:  Nirvana is a state of pure...
Fiction

Next: I wandered lonely as a...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 30, 2014, 05:17:42 AM
...daffodil. NONONO dammit I'm off to the pub [Extract from the "unexpurgated Wordsworth"]

Next: To be...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 30, 2014, 08:23:02 AM
"To be able to kill a dude with one thumb it fuckin awesome!"

“That which does not kill us makes us..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 30, 2014, 10:25:39 AM
...realize "OK, that is another thing that isn't an angry bear."

Next:  A usurper always distrusts...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 30, 2014, 10:33:22 AM
"...your soup."

Next: STOP! In the name of love / Before you....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 30, 2014, 02:09:01 PM
break the laws of the MINISTRY OF LOVE."

Deleted line of dialogue from 1984.

Next:  When the going gets weird,...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 30, 2014, 04:08:02 PM
...you realize you shouldn't have hitched a ride from Hunter S Thompson

Next: I'm mad as hell and...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on August 30, 2014, 05:26:59 PM
Next: I'm mad as hell and...
someone's getting rogered with a curly fry!

Next: When was the last time you woke up and found yourself in...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 31, 2014, 04:42:26 AM
carcerated.

Next: Eye-eyed, one-horned, flying....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on August 31, 2014, 04:56:44 AM

Eye-eyed, one-horned, flying Delorean

“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on August 31, 2014, 09:23:52 AM
"...have had a wank fantasy object."

Next: Short people ain't got no...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on August 31, 2014, 12:34:43 PM
...6 foot tall bodies.  Except maybe the one from Don't Look Now.  In the crawlspace.

Next: What are you really...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on September 01, 2014, 07:53:46 PM
...?" [The question that goes through anyone watching a Roger Corman monster movie]

Next: Pretty..pretty vacant... and we....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on September 01, 2014, 08:20:08 PM
...are ready... to move... in.  This works out... for everyone...

Next:  In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina
Can't you see...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on September 01, 2014, 08:32:43 PM
"...here, let me take your blindfold off, 'cos my killing shed is in Raleigh and it's a nice drive before you die."

Next: "So booold it's not recommended..."

Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on September 02, 2014, 11:35:16 AM
unless you have beautiful in equal measure, lest you create a dangerous chemical imbalance."

Next:  "A game that requires the constant conjuring of..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on September 02, 2014, 05:20:44 PM
"A game that requires the constant conjuring of Gozer the Gozerian"

“Everything you can imagine is..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Unky Des on September 02, 2014, 05:30:46 PM
"...illegal, fattening and available for download from Amazon Prime."

Next: Have you seen the muffin man...?
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on September 02, 2014, 07:10:49 PM
Next: Have you seen the muffin man...?
His name is Bran.

Next: When the cock crows...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on September 03, 2014, 05:36:10 PM
...see your urologist.

Next:  Life without this sort of examination is...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on September 05, 2014, 09:40:23 PM
Next:  Life without this sort of examination is...

Is like living with crowing cock.

Next: The day my pants fell down...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on September 06, 2014, 06:56:49 AM
Next: The day my pants fell down...
was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.


Next: A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on September 08, 2014, 05:49:52 PM
...gets up at 10.  Join the army.  Wait, I lost track of this aphorism.

Next: Cruisin' down the street in my six-fo'...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on September 25, 2014, 09:43:41 AM
"Cruisin' down the street in my six-fo' dolla pogo stick."

"By the power of Greyskull!  I haaaaaaave the..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on September 25, 2014, 04:50:06 PM
"By the power of Greyskull!  I haaaaaaave the..."
remote!

"A martini.  Shaken, not..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on October 14, 2014, 09:29:07 PM
"A martini.  Shaken, not wildly hurled at me, you idiot..."

My love is like a...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on October 16, 2014, 07:40:58 PM
n analogy.  You never know what your going to get.

Next: Ah, Children of the night...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 01, 2014, 01:24:29 PM
...Kentucky Fried at 1:15am. Wait. Did I read that right?

A horse! A horse! My Kingdom...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 02, 2014, 08:07:10 AM
...has been taken over by a super-intelligent horse.  RUN!

Let it go!  Let it go!  Won't...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on November 03, 2014, 03:43:40 PM
...You please accept that Space 1999 is NOT coming back!

Have gun, will...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on November 03, 2014, 05:46:47 PM
will blast a cap in yo ass.

"If it bleeds, we can..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on November 03, 2014, 05:48:41 PM

...shoot it again.


"Forescore and twenty years ago..."

Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on November 03, 2014, 06:18:29 PM
...I fucked up my Abe Lincoln quote.

That's one small step for Man...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 05, 2014, 04:08:26 AM
...one giant step for an ant or mouse.  Some small animal, anyway.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 05, 2014, 04:31:42 PM
...cially awkward.

My anaconda don't want none...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on November 05, 2014, 06:24:47 PM
..because Voight is so slimy.

I'm jumping off this cliff...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Sideswipe on November 05, 2014, 06:41:50 PM
Huxtable sweater inspired sofa.

If at first you dont succeed...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on November 07, 2014, 02:57:48 AM
Give up or try again.  It's your life, not mine!

(Einstein) I saw a painter fall from a building.  I asked him how it felt...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 08, 2014, 02:05:06 AM
he said "Fuck, Jesus.  Call an ambulance.  I'm in a lot of pain."

A victory is twice itself when...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on November 08, 2014, 04:14:45 AM
he said "Fuck, Jesus.  Call an ambulance.  I'm in a lot of pain."

I can't go next, I'm on the floor laughing too hard.  :clap: 
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 08, 2014, 07:21:42 PM
A victory is twice itself when...
..you know... drink up!! Did I ever tell you.. ahaha a banana... yer me best mate BLOOOAARGGHH!!!

Next: "Is this a dagger I see before me.."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 09, 2014, 06:06:28 PM
...did I get it right?  Did I win the prize?  What?  It's a dirk?  Aw, man.

Next:  "All I want is to be..."
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 09, 2014, 07:49:18 PM
"...or maybe 3B and I've sunk your Battleship."

Next: "Me? I'm just a lawnmower, you can tell me..."**

**
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 10, 2014, 05:34:35 PM
"Anything.  I won't tell anyone.  I'm a lawnmower."

Next: Better to hunt in fields, for health unbought,
Than...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 14, 2014, 07:56:04 PM
Obamacare.

Next: To dream the impossible dream.
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 15, 2014, 06:33:29 AM
Which would be a dream with no continuity errors.

I think all foreigners should stop...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 15, 2014, 07:57:39 PM
...finding pretend monsters in NatGeo shows, although they are highly Riffable.

Next: I've got one hand in my pocket and the other is...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 18, 2014, 12:46:55 AM
in my other pocket.  That's why they call me Two Pockets Fred!

Next: It takes a pair...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on November 18, 2014, 02:27:46 AM
..of legs to play hopscotch, sorry.

Three rings for the Elven...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 18, 2014, 05:16:01 AM
circus!  See, Elrond juggle tigers!  Astound at Legolas' tame a cave troll with naught but a whip and a chair.  And laugh at the hi-larious Rivendell clowns!

Next: Can I...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 18, 2014, 03:53:21 PM
...t or bottle it; stewed rhubarb is still inedible.

Next: What kind of cheese shop....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 19, 2014, 05:06:52 AM
doesn't keep the music of Richard Cheese on hand?  That's just a wasted opportunity.

Next:  If an apple, severed by the tempest from its native tree, cannot choose but fall to the ground...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 19, 2014, 05:33:50 PM
...oh GRAFFITI! Sorry: must have misheard you, Mr Newton.

Next: What is this life, if, full of care...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 19, 2014, 08:45:19 PM
fully ornamented children and awful mothers?  TODDLERS AND TIARAS!

Next:  Everyone wants to say "I love you" to...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on November 20, 2014, 10:43:43 AM
Greta Van Susteren, but then they sober up.

If I had a nickle for every time...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 21, 2014, 06:51:04 AM
everyone asked me for a nickel, I'd break even.
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 21, 2014, 09:20:34 AM
If I had a pickel for every time...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 21, 2014, 04:20:37 PM
someone asked for a nickel, I'd just pretend to mishear them.  I don't like pickles and am willing to pawn them off on anyone.

Next: Don't let...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 25, 2014, 07:22:18 PM
..your house out to students.
(http://api.ning.com/files/28NVHE7P0Zu5bAFN71h90a8LbJ4IzrqBbldgrprRwK3paXfnw8p64RxJV8kMgUQYtxouLd5Cygs0VsWDIwSl7*ua1b*FP7V7/626715621.jpeg?width=500&height=387)

Next: A wing and a prayer and....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 26, 2014, 05:10:52 AM
A dog named Boo.  Great early draft.

Next: Ingratitude calls forth reproaches as...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on November 26, 2014, 05:55:16 AM
Water springs from a rock.

Today flows from yesterday...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 26, 2014, 07:46:42 AM
when you're on a bender.

Next: Good painters imitate nature, bad ones...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 26, 2014, 10:04:22 AM
suck.

Next: Would that this too too solid flesh...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on November 26, 2014, 11:59:38 AM
were not stuck in my wind-pipe.

Why does anyone want to become a private dick?
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 26, 2014, 01:35:36 PM
Because public dicks get arrested.

Next: Days of wine and...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 27, 2014, 06:40:38 AM
cirrhosis.

Next:  In old age. we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Nobody on November 27, 2014, 07:36:48 AM
Comcast, canceling their service.  Utterly ignored.

Next:  A man's got to know his...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Pak-Man on November 27, 2014, 04:12:19 PM
social security number in order to apply for a driver's license.

Next: I am serious, and don't call me...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Eric Pode of Croydon on November 27, 2014, 04:44:42 PM
"Mister Black"

Next: To die / to sleep. To sleep perchance...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on November 30, 2014, 08:54:19 PM
to wet dream!"
- Hamlet, This Ain't Hamlet: An XXX Parody

Next: Why is it so amazing to not have...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on December 10, 2014, 07:04:58 AM
Never heard of it, but it sounds fun.
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on January 08, 2015, 09:43:22 PM
"'Till someone gets hurt."

Next: Sometimes a cigar...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 10, 2015, 05:18:23 PM
is Cuban.  True fact!

Next: The difference between a hooker and a ho ain't nothin' but....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: bigsurevan on January 11, 2015, 01:21:58 AM
a buck fifty


Next:  Mary had a little...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on January 12, 2015, 08:54:42 AM
I got busted for possession.

I didn't have sex with that woman...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 12, 2015, 11:12:22 PM
unless you count oral.  Wait, you do?  Oh, well then I change my answer then.

Next:  Niagara, Wonder of this Western World...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: bigsurevan on January 13, 2015, 05:11:47 AM
unless you count oral.  Wait, you do?  Oh, well then I change my answer then.

Next:  Niagara, Wonder of this Western World...

giving countless tourists from around the globe, the mighty
urge to pee...


Next:  My baby takes the morning...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 13, 2015, 09:30:08 PM
"chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck."
"Damn, our tongue twister robot is broken."
"It's lost control.  Dear God, it will kill us all!"

Next: It's 'arf comedy...'arf mystery...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: bigsurevan on January 14, 2015, 08:35:56 AM
and 'arf romance...Starring George Clooney as Sparky (WOOF!),
Natalie Portman as Muffin (PANT, PANT), and Jamie Farr as Humper! 
Bring your poop-scooper, and prepare to piddle
in your seat...this Broadway production is ass-sniffing fun
that will make you glad you didn't stay home licking
your own privates...it's that good!


Next:  Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum, I smell...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 15, 2015, 03:36:57 AM
I smell the blood of an English bum!

Finally, it rhymes!  But at what cost?!?

Next: If you've ever been to a wilder party...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: bigsurevan on January 16, 2015, 06:40:59 AM
...you can lead us in our pledge of allegiance to the Prince of all that is Evil before the orgies and sacrificial offerings commence...Oh, and here's your name tag...I know, they all say 'Hello, I'm Damned'...it's just a little Dark Lord humor, cute, huh?

Next: The cat's in the cradle...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 17, 2015, 06:39:29 AM
sleeping on the baby's face.  For god sakes, do something!

Next: If God should turn away from himself as the Source of infinite joy...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on January 17, 2015, 08:22:13 PM
No one would be the wiser.

Next:  I'm mad as Hell, and...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 18, 2015, 08:41:19 AM
I going to live tweet about it now!

Next:  All I can do is...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: bigsurevan on January 25, 2015, 06:07:06 AM
microwave burritos and toast Pop Tarts...thank God I'm hung like a mule.




Next:  Mom always says, "don't play ball in the...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 25, 2015, 06:33:24 PM
champagne room."  Or was that Chris Rock?

Next:  One of the most important philosophical and social issues confronting humanity in the beginning of the 21st century is...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on January 26, 2015, 10:33:46 PM
What do you call the first decade? The oughts???

When you've done one....
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 27, 2015, 05:56:55 AM
line of coke you've done them all.  But let me do five more just to be certain.

More than a billion women around the world want to emulate...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on January 29, 2015, 06:35:18 AM
going to a doctor to get checked out.  How did you impale your hand on a bird, anyway?

Although the problem of transmuting chemical elements into each other is much older than a satisfactory definition of the very concept of chemical element...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on January 31, 2015, 10:29:37 AM
Diet coke still sucks.

A penny saved...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on February 01, 2015, 03:55:10 AM
in turn saves Inspector Gadget.

Every time you say...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on February 09, 2015, 02:10:55 AM
"/me slaps $Nick around a bit with a large trout," I nod knowingly.

Well, this is the last dime time I wake up with...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on February 10, 2015, 06:42:31 PM
Uncle Scrooge." - Magica DeSpell

Blathering away about how "we'll attack and destroy you" does not deter...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on February 15, 2015, 05:50:26 AM
cavities.  Use Krelm toothpaste.

     As we careened down the mountainside, Joe said,
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on February 16, 2015, 07:32:45 PM
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"  "Well, put", I said, before our bones shattered and our flesh tore.

If we consider only the passive concept--a state or condition of affairs where property is held, more or less completely, in common--we find...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on February 16, 2015, 08:16:43 PM
ourselves being called socialists by some guy on Fox news.

 I've found that the best way to quiet a crying child is..
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on February 18, 2015, 06:09:11 PM
unspeakable.

We may still draw back but...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on February 21, 2015, 03:53:18 AM
-sides of apes, and not be considered perverts.

Uncle Frank eyed the bottle of scotch and said...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on February 21, 2015, 07:10:58 AM
"Push the button. Push the button! I'll push your buttons! I was pushing buttons before you told me to. You think you're the boss of me...*inarticulate grumbling*"

Repeat to yourself, it's just a show, I should really just...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on February 21, 2015, 07:04:34 PM
go for some blow.  (The show in question is 70's era Saturday Night Live)



As an island state, we are aware that we are all visitors in the natural environment that surrounds us, and...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on February 25, 2015, 10:56:40 PM
therefore we can litter without worry. Let the locals deal with it!  :highfive:

This weather is really starting to get on my...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on February 26, 2015, 03:22:09 AM
facebook page.  No, partly cloudy, I'm not interested in photos of the food you ate.

All I can do is be...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Quirk on February 27, 2015, 12:16:42 PM
defeatist about my options in life.

What we have here is a failure to...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on February 27, 2015, 04:36:33 PM
bring back the iRiffs page.


I spy with my little...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on February 28, 2015, 04:55:43 AM
secret agent, tiny plan for a teensy death ray!  STOP HIM MICRO JAMES BOND!

The city is a unique combination of hills, spurs and...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on February 28, 2015, 06:39:43 AM
slack-jawed yokels.  Still, it's nice.

Night of the living dead made me feel like a new...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on March 01, 2015, 03:11:05 AM
man.  Ain't nothing going to stop me--" - Ben's last words from that movie.

My God, my Father, and my Friend,
Do not...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Quirk on March 01, 2015, 07:36:22 AM
put your bowl in the sink to "soak". Just pick up the brush and wash it, for god/father/friend's sake!

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on March 01, 2015, 09:58:53 AM
nagging.  Your incessant, harpee-like nagging.  :grr:

If I hear another peep out of you kids,...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on March 02, 2015, 12:37:08 AM
I'll stop giving you marshmallow peeps!  What... are those even marshmallows?

It is the glory and happiness of our excellent constitution, that to prevent any injustice...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on March 05, 2015, 02:33:45 AM
Did I say "injustice"?  I meant, "guilty!" 90 Days, son!

Your Action News 7 team is on the scene and...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on March 05, 2015, 05:40:15 AM
ready to rumble!  *Action News 7 Team rides off in their action van to the Channel 7 Battle Command Centre Playset*
"Finally, action figures for grown ups!"
Action News 7 figures.  Teleprompters sold separately.

The British bourgeoisie
Is not born
And does not die,
But...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on March 05, 2015, 06:34:54 AM
drones on and on forever.

I dig a pygmy...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on March 06, 2015, 03:53:14 AM
's grave and find it to be a lot quicker than a regular one.

There is no simple way to...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on March 06, 2015, 08:16:48 PM
Oh, wait, look a walking path into Mordor!


Fee Fi Fo Fum! I smell the...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on March 09, 2015, 07:36:37 AM
toast is burning.  I'M HAVING A GIANT STROKE!

It's about getting the kids up and fed, getting one to school, getting the other down for a nap, going to the grocery store, picking one up from school, getting the other one down for another nap, cooking dinner...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: RoninFox on March 09, 2015, 08:24:03 AM
...if you do it all right, they'll never think to search the closets and find what happened to their parents.

Ask not what your country can do for you...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on March 09, 2015, 09:28:58 AM
Ask rather, what the hell really happened in Roswell.

I spied a little squirrel today...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on March 09, 2015, 06:53:06 PM
Secret Squirrel, specifically.  He's used to it.

The people agree that everyone should have...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on March 10, 2015, 08:30:18 PM
anarchy and chaos.

Caw became paranoid, thinking crows were calling him. So he...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on March 12, 2015, 12:20:14 AM
quoted Jack Handey.  The crows agreed "that's pretty good."


Herbert von Karajan always rolled out a magic carpet for us...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on March 12, 2015, 12:30:36 AM
Unfortunately, it was evil-chaotic and would promptly thrash about the hall, smothering random members of the orchestra.


Basil! There's a kipper in your pocket...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on March 14, 2015, 07:43:56 AM
Or you're happy to see me!

It's when we're willing to come face to face with that demon that...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Miku Fan on March 14, 2015, 12:11:29 PM
I'm probably lawful-chaotic.
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 11, 2016, 04:23:37 AM
Man, Miku Fan stopped that cold.

On the one hand, the student has been informed by some writers that the only certain way lies in the use of the entropy-function and the thermodynamic potentials; on the other hand...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 11, 2016, 04:25:38 AM
Man, Miku Fan stopped that cold.

On the one hand, the student has been informed by some writers that the only certain way lies in the use of the entropy-function and the thermodynamic potentials; on the other hand...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Darth Geek on April 11, 2016, 09:42:01 AM
this is Spanish class. So...yo quiero Taco Bell?


My race is pacifist, we do not beleive in war. We only kill out of...
Title: Re: Complete the Quote [with a Funny]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on April 14, 2016, 08:00:52 PM
spelling errors.  OH NO, WHAT HAVE I DONE! *kills self*

I am a wife-made man...