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RiffTrax Discussion => Individual RiffTrax Discussion => The Bermuda Triangle => Topic started by: Trekker4747 on September 07, 2012, 08:08:53 PM

Title: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Trekker4747 on September 07, 2012, 08:08:53 PM
I learned that aircraft pilots aren't told an easy -and rather obvious- way to tell what direction is what when instrumentation is down. Which makes sense, since they're also apparently not told what the sun is.

I learned that hot women in bikinis can vastly improve a movie. But I may have already know that.

I learned that child ADR actors for language dubbing are apparently hard to find so adults who don't even try to sound like children are found.

I learned that fishing crap out of the ocean is okay to just give to your child.

And that's all pretty much in just the first few minutes.  Man, this one is going to be fun when I really dive into it!
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Lembach on September 07, 2012, 11:57:44 PM
I learned that you really need a goddamn phone to Gordon.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Bob on September 08, 2012, 06:03:16 AM
I learned to always pack a LOT of booze on my ship trips.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Brimmstone on September 08, 2012, 06:05:35 AM
I learned I'll be 27th to die and will be teal.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: PontifexPrimus on September 08, 2012, 10:54:47 AM
I learned that, if you put a hot leggy blonde in your movie, the best thing you can do is: have her smash her legs about a third of the way through and then lie in bed with a blanket up to her head for the rest of the film.

I learned that dolls from 1880 are somehow affected by a magnetic Atlantean curse that causes planes to fall out of the sky even if the doll is nowhere near them.

I learned that you can accidentally lock yourself in your own freezer, even if you have to fold your arms and legs really tight to even fit in there.

I learned that if you're running out of ideas for gruesome deaths it's ok to let people just... vanish.

I learned that apparently all the thought you need to put into the mythos of a backstory is: "there is a place where all kinds of bad stuff inexplicably happens".
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: MartyS (Gromit) on September 08, 2012, 07:21:47 PM
I learned that all airport towers look the same.  And will look the same both in 1945 (flight 19) and 1978 (when the movie came out).

And the super constellation was still flying in 78.  Had to go look that up since I thought they were all gone by the 70s, last passenger flight was in 67, but some companies were still using them to fly cargo up until the 90s.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Trekker4747 on September 08, 2012, 07:58:52 PM
I learned that the makers of this movie had no idea what the "eye candy" character is supposed to be for.

I learned where M. Night Shyamalan got his idea for ridiculous and lame movie ending twists.

I learned that the Titanic, launched sixty years before this movie was made, had more efficient and direct way of giving orders to the engine room from the bridge.

I learned that it's Sea Law that all captains must use a pipe.

I learned, again, the 70s were filled with men in tiny upsetting shorts.

I learned that a small dinghy with a small engine carrying three people and only about 10 or so gallons of fuel is enough to make a day-long, dozens of miles long, trip.

I learned that Atlantis was rather easy to find, actually. Apparently the millennia worth of people looking for it just weren't trying very hard.

I learned that when SCUBA diving it's okay to just preemptively harpoon a shark.


Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Tony Farms AKA Puma Man on September 09, 2012, 09:22:50 AM
I learned that your beloved sister dying in your arms only requires the minimum possible amount of emotion.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Lembach on September 09, 2012, 02:53:40 PM
I learned that in the 1800s, ships were crewed solely by 10 year old girls and their dolls.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Wernski on September 19, 2012, 04:38:02 AM
I learned that as soon as your wife dies, you get to redecorate your room!

I learned that it's faster to take a rubber life raft to mainland then your big engined boat.

I learned that the lost city of Atlantis consists of nothing but light, identical columns, and now they're all broken because some jerk swam past them.

I learned that all skepticism about female pilots is warranted.

I learned that there are flocks of parrots out in the middle of the ocean, and it only strikes people as unusual if they turn vicious.

I learn that no matter how far you swim after a dive, you're always directly underneath your boat.

I learned that the ocean is about 7 feet deep.

I learned that when random things go wrong, people are quick to blame a child's doll, but they won't actually take any action against it.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: CJones on September 20, 2012, 08:10:57 PM
I learned that the Sci-Fi channel miniseries "Triangle" is now the 2nd worst Bermuda Triangle movie I've ever seen. At least Triangle offered an explanation, however absurd. Which is more than I can say for this. And that's saying a lot about a channel that now calls itself SyFy; A name that, ironically, brings to mind a certain disease that fans of SyFy are unlikely to contract.

I learned the inspirations for both the brand name "Gordan Fisherman", and the term "Commissioner Gordon Hotline"

And finally, ROUTE ENGINE CONTROLS DIRECTLY TO THE BRIDGE! Imagine if, while driving, you had to rely on a passenger to work all the pedals and shifters. "I've got the wheel and that makes me Captain. Efficiency be damned!" 
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: LuvBJones on September 24, 2012, 08:55:54 PM
This is why I never go on family vacations.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Bob on September 25, 2012, 04:15:58 AM
This is why I never go on family vacations.

So when you were 5, your 75 year old dad never took you on vacations?
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: LuvBJones on September 25, 2012, 10:04:37 PM
This is why I never go on family vacations.

So when you were 5, your 75 year old dad never took you on vacations?

It was the wet pajamas that ruined it for me.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Darth Geek on September 25, 2012, 10:27:03 PM
This is why I never go on family vacations.

So when you were 5, your 75 year old dad never took you on vacations?

It was the wet pajamas that ruined it for me.
Yours, or his?
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: LuvBJones on September 26, 2012, 07:59:57 PM
This is why I never go on family vacations.

So when you were 5, your 75 year old dad never took you on vacations?

It was the wet pajamas that ruined it for me.
Yours, or his?
It was a rather damp trip, wasn't it? At least we didn't have to see Dad in hot pants.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: losingmydignity on October 17, 2012, 01:30:02 PM
Wasn't Dr. Child-killer drinking J&B, the terrible scotch Guy from Harlem was drinking?

Any chance these two teamed up in another movie?

Steaks, bad Scotch, bitterness...I'm seeing a formula here.

And, oh yeah, I learned that if a sexy girl's legs have been horribly mauled, the first step in aiding her is gathering the family round and watching while you daub at her exposed flesh with a napkin (or was that a hanky?).
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: CJones on October 18, 2012, 06:13:26 PM
I learned that you can use century old (relative to this boat's time) technology to send a radio signal identifying themselves, that ships from the future-(present?) would be able to receive.

Either that, or the director just assumed that nobody watching would know Morse code, and would not notice that the lamp signals they both were sending to each other meant nothing. the movie doesn't make it too clear which one screwed up.

Hell, even I know how to signal SOS in Morse code with a shutter lantern.

Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: monoceros4 on November 05, 2012, 09:09:35 PM
I learned that John Huston must have been like Orson Welles, willing to act in any piece of crap. I wonder if this is how he raised the money to make Wise Blood.

I learned that whoever dubbed the voice of Semi-Competent Aztec Man couldn't have sounded less appropriate.

I learned that the abandoning of MV Joyita is worthy of inclusion on a list of Bermuda Triangle disappearances even though it happened in the South Pacific.

I learned that when random things go wrong, people are quick to blame a child's doll, but they won't actually take any action against it.

Phew, you said it. Even Semi-Competent Aztec Man doesn't do anything more than glower at it.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: smoresman on March 26, 2013, 10:17:49 AM
I learned that if you're going on a cruise, to remember to bring sisik pils so you dont threw up.
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Sugar Ray Dodge on April 08, 2013, 04:38:44 PM
What exactly WAS all that stuff at the end? Does anybody even have a clue?
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Trekker4747 on April 08, 2013, 04:59:18 PM
The Triangle was really dead all along, the ship was really transvestite and the crew really clones of rich people wanting spare parts. 
Title: Re: What Bermudan things did you learn?
Post by: Trekker4747 on June 04, 2013, 03:05:24 PM
I learned that apparently all the thought you need to put into the mythos of a backstory is: "there is a place where all kinds of bad stuff inexplicably happens".

You just quote, almost verbatim, the Story Bible for the writers of Lost.