RiffTrax Forum

RiffTrax Discussion => Individual RiffTrax Discussion => xXx => Topic started by: mrbasehart on September 07, 2006, 05:39:45 AM

Title: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: mrbasehart on September 07, 2006, 05:39:45 AM
I was actually pretty glad to see this film get riffed, as I thought when it was released that it was a woeful attempt at updating Bond.  Mike does an excellent job with what he's given, gleefully ripping into Vin's rather vacant looks throughout the movie.  His running riffs on the well-to-do anarchists was also a particular highlight.  In the Rifftrax pecking order, I'd put this above Cocktail but below Road House and Star Trek V.

How about everyone else?
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: JoshWay on September 07, 2006, 05:48:31 AM
I really liked this one, probably because I'm endlessly bewildered and amused by big dumb action movies. And this one is just so absurd. I think I had the most fun watching this one, but I still consider Road House to be the best.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: WouTar on September 07, 2006, 08:00:14 AM
Deliciously good.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: trickfred on September 07, 2006, 01:15:18 PM
Ugh. As funny as Mike was (And IMHO, this RiffTrax is pretty middle-of-the-road compared to the offerings so far - good, but not great like Road House), I had a hell of a time making it through the whole thing. As it was, I had to take four breaks from the movie/RT to do something in between, and shake off the stupid I felt creeping over me from even being in the same room as this movie in any capacity. If I hadn't taken those breaks, I would have shut it off before he even reached Prague.

Oddly enough though, as much as I cringed at the choice of movie to Riff, Disembaudio was awesome. Well placed injections, didn't overpower any scenes, and had some interesting/funny commentary of his own. I think he's starting to hit his groove, and I almost feel bad for finding him so 'over the top' in T5E (though I still think he was in that case, don't get me wrong).

This is the only RiffTrax I regret buying so far, and only because the movie Riffed was such a ridiculous piece of trash that couldn't be saved, by Mike, by Joel, even by Sam Kinison if he were still alive. I'm glad I didn't buy the DVD this time around (Oddly enough, the in-laws had a copy - wonder what that says about them?). Please, Mike, Riff on more badfunny movies in the future, and fewer badstupid ones! :D

Disclaimer: Opinion only; your mileage may vary.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Tommy Servo on September 07, 2006, 01:25:52 PM
Ugh. As funny as Mike was (And IMHO, this RiffTrax is pretty middle-of-the-road compared to the offerings so far - good, but not great like Road House), I had a hell of a time making it through the whole thing. As it was, I had to take four breaks from the movie/RT to do something in between, and shake off the stupid I felt creeping over me from even being in the same room as this movie in any capacity. If I hadn't taken those breaks, I would have shut it off before he even reached Prague.

Oddly enough though, as much as I cringed at the choice of movie to Riff, Disembaudio was awesome. Well placed injections, didn't overpower any scenes, and had some interesting/funny commentary of his own. I think he's starting to hit his groove, and I almost feel bad for finding him so 'over the top' in T5E (though I still think he was in that case, don't get me wrong).

This is the only RiffTrax I regret buying so far, and only because the movie Riffed was such a ridiculous piece of trash that couldn't be saved, by Mike, by Joel, even by Sam Kinison if he were still alive. I'm glad I didn't buy the DVD this time around (Oddly enough, the in-laws had a copy - wonder what that says about them?). Please, Mike, Riff on more badfunny movies in the future, and fewer badstupid ones! :D

Disclaimer: Opinion only; your mileage may vary.


How could you call xXx a bad movie!?! >:(  it's obvious that you didn't watch it. :'( It's a ground breaking movie!

Chicago Sun-Times, Jim Emerson
"You just won't see a better acted, and better cast, movie..."

E! Online,
"...consistently fresh and gut-bustingly funny..."

Critics Reviews     Average Grade:      B+
Source    Brief Review    Grade*
Boston Globe
Ty Burr    "...warms with dark laughs." more...    A-
Chicago Sun-Times
Jim Emerson    "You just won't see a better acted, and better cast, movie..." more...    A-
Chicago Tribune
Jessica Reaves    "...stellar..." more...    A-
E! Online    "...consistently fresh and gut-bustingly funny..." more...    A-
Entertainment Weekly
Owen Gleiberman    "...these are not organic characters..." more...    C 
filmcritic.com
Rachel Gordon    "...an engaging experience." more...    B+
Hollywood Reporter
Duane Byrge    "...this is one of those movies that veteran moviegoers complain they don't make anymore." more...    A 
New York Post
Lou Lumenick    "...a smart, dark road comedy..." more...    B 
New York Times
Manohla Dargis    "...across-the-board terrific performances..." more...    B 
ReelViews
James Berardinelli    "...movie-goers will leave the theater feeling uplifted." more...    B 
Rolling Stone
Peter Travers    "...a scrappy human comedy that takes an honest path to laughs and is twice as funny and touching for it." more...    B 
Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Paula Nechak    "...hilarious and astute satire..." more...    B+
USA Today
Claudia Puig    "It has been a while since we've seen such a consistently funny and entertaining road movie." more...
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: trickfred on September 07, 2006, 01:36:26 PM
*snip*

Uh, yeah... so, what movie did you really snag that info from? I didn't see the phrases "piece of crap", 'waste of time", or "Vin Diesel should be neutered" anywhere in those review blurbs (By the way, like I said, just my opinion, and in my opinion, this movie was crap, and beyond saving by any means - I'll try not to bring it up in every post though *coughzachsmindcough*).
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: mrbasehart on September 07, 2006, 02:18:44 PM
Since when was XXX a dark satire or a road movie?
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Pak-Man on September 07, 2006, 02:54:56 PM
A quick google search reveals these statements to be about "Little Miss Sunshine."

However I suppose they COULD all apply to xXx. :^)
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: fortytwice on September 07, 2006, 05:51:39 PM
i thought it was great

loved the continuous "exploding things" riffs (rubbing alcohol, pop rocks... etc)

plus the cocktail reference when the camera panned over the ocean
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: RandyMistie on September 07, 2006, 05:55:21 PM
Ugh. As funny as Mike was (And IMHO, this RiffTrax is pretty middle-of-the-road compared to the offerings so far - good, but not great like Road House), I had a hell of a time making it through the whole thing. As it was, I had to take four breaks from the movie/RT to do something in between, and shake off the stupid I felt creeping over me from even being in the same room as this movie in any capacity. If I hadn't taken those breaks, I would have shut it off before he even reached Prague.

Oddly enough though, as much as I cringed at the choice of movie to Riff, Disembaudio was awesome. Well placed injections, didn't overpower any scenes, and had some interesting/funny commentary of his own. I think he's starting to hit his groove, and I almost feel bad for finding him so 'over the top' in T5E (though I still think he was in that case, don't get me wrong).

This is the only RiffTrax I regret buying so far, and only because the movie Riffed was such a ridiculous piece of trash that couldn't be saved, by Mike, by Joel, even by Sam Kinison if he were still alive. I'm glad I didn't buy the DVD this time around (Oddly enough, the in-laws had a copy - wonder what that says about them?). Please, Mike, Riff on more badfunny movies in the future, and fewer badstupid ones! :D

Disclaimer: Opinion only; your mileage may vary.

You are so right, Trick.  What a steaming pile of big budget shite.  Can you imagine how much money was wasted on that thing, and, even scarier, that it made enough back to justify a sequel!?!?  *boggle*

Eh, what'r ya gonna do... America loves it's muscle bound action heroes.  Some even get voted into hi-ranking office!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Tarantulas on September 07, 2006, 07:26:41 PM
Last Action Zero
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Rube_Maroon on September 07, 2006, 10:19:04 PM
I fucking HATED HATED HATED this piece of shit. I actually watched it unriffed last week and I've been procrastinating buying the rifftrax just because I fucking HATED HATED HATED it so much. I can't remember the last time a movie caused such a violent reaction in me and I'm a little alarmed. At least the MST3K movies were usually so bad as to be laughable or "so bad they're good," but this, this is... Nevermind, I don't want to have to think too much about this movie.

But alright, I've had another long, long day in an undying series and I'm ready for a movie. Here goes.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Troxartas on September 07, 2006, 11:11:06 PM
oh my holy god, rifftrax just keeps getting better and better and better.  this really is nothing short of heroic, what mike and the guys at legend are doing!  i truly am not worthy!!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Rude on September 07, 2006, 11:56:54 PM
Alright!

This one was great!... Like, up there with Roadhouse. The movie itself was so ridiculous that I just kept shaking my head and laughing. Throw Rifftrax on top of that steaming pile, and it's like pure gold!

The whole event was stupid from the moment i tried to rent the DVD. There are like, three different releases out there for this movie. WTF?! This movie is that popular? Really? I had to ask the video clerk guy to log onto Rifftrax to help me figure out which one to get... Which is actually a good thing, since it meant that i wouldn't have to explain why i was actually renting xXx in the first place.

I had no idea this movie was so over the top stupid! So much shite got blown up in the first ten minutes I think I hurt my eyes. Did anyone notice that one of the reasons for the MPAA rating was "nonstop action"??? I kid you not~ Awesome...

-Rude

PS- I like Rammstein, alot. I've been to a couple concerts and have even hung out with the guys before a show once. How could i not have known they were in this film?
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Conor on September 08, 2006, 08:46:14 AM


I had no idea this movie was so over the top stupid! So much shite got blown up in the first ten minutes I think I hurt my eyes. Did anyone notice that one of the reasons for the MPAA rating was "nonstop action"??? I kid you not~ Awesome...

I just saw that today.  That seems more like a joke from a McBain movie on the Simpsons than an actual MPAA criteria for rating movies.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: WouTar on September 08, 2006, 10:24:56 AM
Hehe, Roger Ebert rated this "Masterpiece" with 3 stars.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20020809/REVIEWS/208090304/1023 (http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20020809/REVIEWS/208090304/1023)

Just to put things in perspective: He gave The Elephant Man a mere 2 stars.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19800101/REVIEWS/1010313/1023 (http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19800101/REVIEWS/1010313/1023)

But then again, his OldBoy review was spot on...

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050324/REVIEWS/50310001/1023 (http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050324/REVIEWS/50310001/1023)

SO many mixed feelings :D


Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Tommy Servo on September 08, 2006, 10:44:08 AM
All you xXx haters are wrong! >:(
Look at this: ;D
1.   9.1   The Godfather (1972)   175,836
2.   9.0   XXX (2002)   211,828
3.   8.9   The Godfather: Part II (1974)   99,976
4.   8.8   The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)   159,601
5.   8.8   Casablanca (1942)   86,351
6.   8.8   Shichinin no samurai (1954)   46,246
7.   8.8   Schindler's List (1993)   128,394
8.   8.8   Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)   47,790
9.   8.7   Pulp Fiction (1994)   182,362
10.   8.7   Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)   138,127
11.   8.7   Star Wars (1977)   174,414
12.   8.7   One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)   92,736
13.   8.7   Rear Window (1954)   54,749
14.   8.7   The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)   203,768
15.   8.6   12 Angry Men (1957)   40,889
16.   8.6   The Usual Suspects (1995)   134,953
17.   8.6   Cidade de Deus (2002)   49,845
18.   8.6   Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)   119,272
19.   8.6   Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)   82,779
20.   8.6   The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: robertraur on September 08, 2006, 11:51:17 AM
Fantastic job.  In all seriousness, before this movie, I thought Vin had some star potential.  His work in Saving Private Ryan and Boiler Room was pretty good.  And while I was on the fence after Fast and the Furious, XXX made me see the light and I regret even considering him a "can't miss" actor.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: sarcasm_made_Easy on September 08, 2006, 11:54:31 AM
nah, i think he is ok as an actor.  His agent or whatever else he uses to pick his scripts needs to shot repeatedly though.  He is ok in if put in better light.  Im not calling him a Jimmy stewart or anything just saying he has potential. 
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: RandyMistie on September 08, 2006, 01:35:41 PM
Right.  I really liked him (Vin Diesel) in Boiler Room and Saving Private Ryan, and he's a smart guy, plays D&D and WoW so he's probably somebody I'd hang with, but his choice of projects has been a little dicey.  And he was WAAAAY too invested in that Chronicles of Riddick stuff.  Went a little overboard with that.  BTW, that would be a great Rifftrax, right there.  What a head shaker that was.  Not horrible, but certainly not good.

But, hey, he made plenty of money on XXX and all, so, I'm sure he'll be back after the stink of his latest projects wears off.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: sarcasm_made_Easy on September 08, 2006, 04:19:06 PM
i dont know how he is gonna recover from the pacifier though.  if ever there was a career killler that would it.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Bob M. on September 08, 2006, 08:37:15 PM
Gotta agree, this was a tough one to get through at nearly 2 hours long. The riffing was good, but the movie... it reminded me of some of those old MST3Ks that are dreadful to sit through, not because the riffing but because how foul and painful the actual film is.

I'd never seen this film before, and I can honestly say I'll never see it again, though I may just listen to the Rifftrax while driving :D
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: RandyMistie on September 08, 2006, 09:40:09 PM

I'd never seen this film before, and I can honestly say I'll never see it again, though I may just listen to the Rifftrax while driving :D

LOL!!!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: MightyJack on September 08, 2006, 11:50:32 PM
A link to my review... xXx (http://www.geocities.com/opheliaskiss01/MightyJack/MJ2/Nelsoncommentary.html#xxx)

The movie is more watchable than RH or Cocktail. Overall though I felt it was the weakest so far, but still funny. My rankings based on laughs...

1. Star Trek V
2. Cocktail
3. Road House
4. The Fifth Element
5. xXx
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Rube_Maroon on September 08, 2006, 11:59:04 PM
I tell you, if I hadn't suffered through it once without Mike's guidance, I'd have never known the true horrors of Xxx. Watching it with Mike was breeze, and quite fun.

Lesson: NEVER watch a rifftrax movie without the accompanying rifftrax. I have Crossroads right now but I have learned. Oh yes, I have learned.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: MrTorso on September 09, 2006, 12:48:22 AM
Finally got my DVD made and just finished watching.  My favorite riffs were all the made up skate/snowboarding/motocross tricks (crotchgrab hummer??) I will have to watch it again to remember them all. I also liked the "oh no my collection of __________" riffs everytime something exploded. Also the repeated "duh" bits were good too.  I also liked "The Jerk" riffs too.

Now for some fanboy nitpicks!  First off it is pronouced ah-SHEE-ah and FALCO was taken care of by a bus a few years ago in the Domincan Republic! Gotta keep up with the pop culture!

Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Edward J Grug III on September 09, 2006, 03:13:13 AM
Excellent! One of my favourite rifftrax yet! I think it was as great as Roadhouse, and only slightly behind Star Trek V.

But man, what a turd of a film!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: DoctorZ on September 09, 2006, 06:52:25 AM
Here's to the most obscure riff in the film: "Quick drop a turtle on his head. It worked for Aeschylus!"

Here's the story:

Aeschylus (525 BC?456 BC; Greek: Αἰσχύλος) was a playwright of ancient Greece. Aeschylus was the earliest of the three greatest Greek tragedians, the others being Sophocles and Euripides.

Aeschylus frequently travelled to Sicily, where the tyrant of Gela was a patron. In 458 BC he travelled there for the last time; according to traditional legend, Aeschylus was killed in 456 BC when an eagle (or more likely a Lammergeier), mistaking the playwright's bald crown for a stone, dropped a tortoise on his head (though some accounts differ, claiming it was a stone dropped by an eagle or vulture that likely mistook his bald head for the egg of a flightless bird).

Don't thank me, I'm here to help.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Petey Wheatstraw on September 09, 2006, 09:34:30 AM
Hehe, Roger Ebert rated this "Masterpiece" with 3 stars.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20020809/REVIEWS/208090304/1023 (http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20020809/REVIEWS/208090304/1023)

3 and a half stars, to be precise...

I sincerly doubt the sanity of a person who would say "bah!" to Blue Velvet and Lost Highway, and then go and give xXx 3 and a half stars.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Edward J Grug III on September 09, 2006, 09:47:40 AM
...I sincerly doubt the sanity of a person who would say "bah!" to Blue Velvet and Lost Highway...

NOW I'm coming around on Ebert...
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: WouTar on September 09, 2006, 12:37:36 PM
The really stupid part is: bits of the movie people like us consider to be crappy and cliched, he finds awesome.

"'XXX" stars Vin Diesel as a smart-ass Bond with a bad attitude. The filmmakers have broken down the James Bond series into its inevitable components, constructed a screenplay that rips off 007 even in the small details, and then placed Diesel at the center of it--as Xander Cage, extreme sports hero and outlaw. In its own punk way, "XXX" is as good as a good Bond movie, and that's saying something."

So ripping off an entire premise and replacing a smooth undercover agent with a chunk of jiggling beef is something that could be considered a great premise for a movie? "As good as a good Bond movie." Yeah ofcourse, if the only Bond movies you have seen are Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough and Die Another Day.

"As we meet him in "XXX," he's a famous sports daredevil who steals computer chips and cars and is finally hunted down by Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson), a National Security Agency spymaster with a scarred face and a role inspired by M in the Bond series."

...Sure, inspired...    Kudos to Mr. Ebert for putting the sentence "... hunted down by gibbons..." in his review.

"If Bond is a patriot, Xander is a man who looks out only for No. 1, until Gibbons threatens him with prison unless he agrees to go to the Czech Republic and stop a madman with, yes, a plan to destroy and/or conquer the world. This villain, named Yorgi (Marton Csokas), apparently lives in the Prague Castle, which will come as a surprise to President Vaclav Havel. He's a renegade officer of the evil Czech Secret Service; the movie doesn't seem to know that the Cold War is over and Czechs are good guys these days, but never mind: The movie was shot on location in Prague, part of the current filmmaking boom in the republic, and the scenery is terrific."

'which will come as a surprise to President Vaclav Havel. He's a renegade officer of the evil Czech Secret Service; the movie doesn't seem to know that the Cold War is over and Czechs are good guys these days, but never mind'

What? Someone explain what he means.

"Director Rob Cohen and producer Neal H. Mortiz, who also made "The Fast and the Furious," follow the Bond formula so carefully this would be a satire if it weren't intended as a homage. We click off the 007 check points: (1) Villain in lair hidden within mountain, with faceless minions busily going about tasks; (2) a beautiful girl, former KGB, named Yelena (Asia Argento), who seems to be Yorgi's girlfriend but falls for Xander; (3) a techno-geek who supplies Xander with a trick gun and a customized GTO that has an arsenal on board; (4) stunts involving parachuting, mountains, avalanches and explosions; (5) a chase at the end to save the world, and (6), my favorite, the obligatory final scene where the hero basks in Bora Bora with the beautiful girl in a bikini, while his boss tries to persuade him to take another job."

Ripping off everything from another movie (series) truely makes a quality movie.

"Will he take another job? Of course he will. Xander Cage is a new franchise, and Vin Diesel, who was walking around Sundance a few years ago telling everyone he would someday be a big star, was right."

Are we to take that Roger Ebert is impressed by Vin's acting in this movie? Thank god this isn't going to become a franchise... State of the Union *shiver*

"I love the lengths that villains go to in these movies. Consider Yorgi. He has devised an incredibly expensive steel speedboat armed with three rockets containing canisters of poison gas. This speedboat is inside a mountain cavern far below his lair. It is his superweapon for world domination. Fine, except where can a boat go in the landlocked Czech Republic? Down the Danube through Budapest and Vienna? In the event, he decides to attack Prague itself, and we're wondering: Considering how much it cost him to hollow out the mountain and build the boat, why not just put the gas canisters into a car and drive into town? Yorgi is the kind of bad guy who is beloved by the architects of the "star wars" defense, staging an attack that is cumbersome, costly and visible, instead of just delivering the goods by FedEx."

Stupid, inane and downright bad screenwriting once again equals quality.

"As the boat speeds down the river into town, Xander does a stunt that is not only exciting but, even better, impossible. As the Russian babe pilots the GTO on a road parallel to the river, Xander fires a steel cable, which attaches to the boat, and then he transfers from the car to the boat using the cable and a parasail. Wonderful, except ... do you suppose there are any lamp posts, traffic lights or telephone poles along the road that the cable might get hung up on? Never mind. Now Xander's on board, trying to disarm the canisters by using a slicked-up cyber-version of the old standby where he has to decide between the green wire and the red wire. Meanwhile, Gibbons has a vantage point on one of the bridges, and is commanding fighter planes that are prepared to blast the boat out of the water, no doubt thereby dispersing the poison gas, but c'est la vie."

Jesus Ebert. WTF? You're saying it's stupid, cliche and impossible... and you like that?

"See, I like all this stuff, at least when it's done well. Diesel's gruff, monosyllabic style is refreshing as a counterpoint to the gung-ho action, and the romantic scenes with the beautiful Yelena consist of two kisses, because Xander has a world to save. The music is aggressive heavy metal by the German band Rammstein, and Csokas, as the villain, has one of those fleshy, sneering faces, surrounded by too much greasy hair, that goes with his central European accent. Oddly, he isn't from Transylvania at all, but from New Zealand, and you may have seen him on "Xena." He likes to play opposite characters with X-names."

Oh, the wit.


"Is "XXX" a threat to the Bond franchise? Not a threat so much as a salute. I don't want James Bond to turn crude and muscular on me; I like the suave style. But I like Xander, too, especially since he seems to have studied Bond so very carefully. Consider the movie's big set piece, totally in the 007 tradition, when Xander parachutes to a mountaintop, surveys the bad guys on ski-mobiles below, throws a grenade to start an avalanche, and then outraces the avalanche on a snowboard while the bad guys are wiped out. Not bad. Now all he has to work on is the kissing."

Maybe Roger should pay less attention to Vin Diesel's kissing techniques and more attention to the fact that this is a horrible HORRIBLE movie.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: sarcasm_made_Easy on September 09, 2006, 01:07:29 PM
Insane man.  i think all movie reveiwers are nuts though.  I listen to NPR a lot (thats national public radio to our friends from across the pond) and they often have some over priced moron ramble on about either some crappy irrelevant independant film or some over hyped hollywood sludge.  They always use amazingly wordy reviews and DEEPLY OVER analyze the films.  I am a philosophy major,, so when i think something is overanalyzed the average person is usually trying to put a bullet in his own brain to stop the noise.  We need a movie reviewer to just say i liked it.  or i didnt like it.  Here are a couple of reasons why.  Bah to ebert i say.  BAH
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Isaac S. on September 09, 2006, 02:14:07 PM
OK, since everyone's doing it, my list of RiffTrax, in order of hilarity:

1. Star Trek V
2. xXx
3. The Fifth Element
4. Cocktail
5. Roadhouse
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Isaac S. on September 09, 2006, 02:17:28 PM
Here's to the most obscure riff in the film: "Quick drop a turtle on his head. It worked for Aeschylus!"
Here's the story:
...
Don't thank me, I'm here to help.

Oh, I will thank you.  And there's not a thing you can do about it!  That line had me so confused.  I love obscurity!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Rube_Maroon on September 09, 2006, 04:29:10 PM
Insane man.  i think all movie reveiwers are nuts though.  I listen to NPR a lot (thats national public radio to our friends from across the pond) and they often have some over priced moron ramble on about either some crappy irrelevant independant film or some over hyped hollywood sludge.  They always use amazingly wordy reviews and DEEPLY OVER analyze the films.  I am a philosophy major,, so when i think something is overanalyzed the average person is usually trying to put a bullet in his own brain to stop the noise.  We need a movie reviewer to just say i liked it.  or i didnt like it.  Here are a couple of reasons why.  Bah to ebert i say.  BAH

I'm sorry, what?
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: starfighter on September 09, 2006, 05:12:36 PM
   There's another riff that I wondered about its obscurity.  "Hey!  It's Forrest Ackermann's disco!!"  I know who Forrie is, but do the younger folk out there?  I think of primarily his huge collection of sci-fi/horror memoribilia and being the creator of Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine, but I don't think he is still involved with the mag.  He's had cameos in some movies, not unlike Stan Lee's, but I couldn't tell you what they are. Anything else important about him?
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: MightyJack on September 09, 2006, 05:33:02 PM
Here's to the most obscure riff in the film: "Quick drop a turtle on his head. It worked for Aeschylus!"
Here's the story:
...
Don't thank me, I'm here to help.

Oh, I will thank you.  And there's not a thing you can do about it!  That line had me so confused.  I love obscurity!

It was fun to hear Mike say that one - Kevin used to drop that line in the MST days, especially when they did those giant turtle movies.


   There's another riff that I wondered about its obscurity.  "Hey!  It's Forrest Ackermann's disco!!"  I know who Forrie is, but do the younger folk out there?  I think of primarily his huge collection of sci-fi/horror memoribilia and being the creator of Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine, but I don't think he is still involved with the mag.  He's had cameos in some movies, not unlike Stan Lee's, but I couldn't tell you what they are. Anything else important about him?

He was eaten by a dinosaur in the MSTed Future War
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: LadyKenobi on September 09, 2006, 11:28:58 PM
Well, I wasn't disappointed in the slightest.  In fact, it far exceeded my expectations.  I thought it was hysterical, the best one yet-- even better than Road House.

Too many hilarious riffs to mention, but my favorite non-riffed aspect of the movie was the incredibly subtle patriotic parachute at the end.  BECAUSE HE'S CHANGED HIS MIND ABOUT BEING A SECRET AGENT, AND ALL.

(crouching slightly away from the thread-- bitches, come!)
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Pak-Man on September 10, 2006, 01:27:00 PM
I'll admit. I actually had some hopes for xXx before seeing it. I always figured it looks like a fun movie and was looking forward to the chance to see what an extreme bond might be like.

But MAN this MOVIE! The dialogue is like something out of grade school and Vin's delivery doesn't help it one little bit. It's a sad thing to be outacted by the eye-candy. :^)

However, the Rifftrax is my favorite yet. It had me and the Mrs. laughing like all get-out. There couldn't be a better bad movie out there to be Riffed and now I sit and start to build up my spiritual strength for the upcoming onslaught that is Crossroads.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: mst3ktemple on September 10, 2006, 03:55:03 PM
Just watched XXX for the first time.  Only RiffTrax could get me to dish out money for a Vin Diesel movie, but I'll admit thanks to Mike I really enjoyed this.  Vin had way too many lines that ripped off James Bond, but what the Hell.  If you like mumbeled dialogue and things blowing up this is your movie.  Without Mike's commentary I'd be skipping this disk across the lake right now.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: starfighter on September 10, 2006, 06:01:53 PM
   I did try to run XXX and listen to the director's commentary but had to bail after about 10 minutes. The guy's got a severe man-crush on Vin Diesel.
    Does anybody know why Diesel did not do the sequel?  This first one really seemed to be setting up a franchise, but maybe he wasn't under contractual obligation to do the second and actually read the script first?
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Pak-Man on September 10, 2006, 08:24:13 PM
The commentary is Hilarious. The director really thinks everything he did was awesome. :^)
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: trickfred on September 10, 2006, 11:16:37 PM
    Does anybody know why Diesel did not do the sequel?  This first one really seemed to be setting up a franchise, but maybe he wasn't under contractual obligation to do the second and actually read the script first?

I'm pretty sure that it's because he asked for more money than they were willing to give him to appear in the second one. They didn't pay, he didn't play.

On some versions of the DVD (newer ones), there's a short featurette that shows Vin's character (played by a stunt double) getting killed just before the events of the second movie, pretty well guaranteeing he'll never be in another xXx movie.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: goatware on September 11, 2006, 03:01:45 AM
I simply loved this rifftrax. Easily one of the best if not #1.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: mrbasehart on September 11, 2006, 04:38:11 AM
    Does anybody know why Diesel did not do the sequel?  This first one really seemed to be setting up a franchise, but maybe he wasn't under contractual obligation to do the second and actually read the script first?

It's probably the money thing, but he did mention some bullshit about not wanting to appear in too many franchises, such as Fast & the Furious and Chronicles of Riddick.  Of course, they're pretty much pissed down the drain too.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Code Name: Bobby Goldsboro Hair on September 11, 2006, 01:16:43 PM
I think this one might be my favorite. I loathe Vin Diesel and big, dumb action movies so this was right up my alley. I think that movies like XXX are perfect for RiffTrax. XXX is completely cliched, absurd, big, dumb and pointless and it takes itself 100% seriously.

My favorite riffs:

"You know, instead of stealing a senator's car and driving it over a bridge, you might want to try going to the polls and voting."
"Watch, it will hit a big pile of Ted Kennedy's cars already down there."
"A discarded motorbike of the very kind I am adept at riding. And it is completely fueled and meticulously maintained. I am fortunate in that regard."
"His ability to bend slightly is paying HUGE dividends!"

Plus Mike does a hilarious Vin Diesel impression.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Rude on September 11, 2006, 07:25:55 PM
Did anyone notice that one of the reasons for the MPAA rating was "nonstop action"??? I kid you not~ Awesome...

I just saw that today.  That seems more like a joke from a McBain movie on the Simpsons than an actual MPAA criteria for rating movies.

I hate when people put a quote inside a quote... but oh well, sue me~

Anyway, this kind of goofy MPAA rating thing has been going on for awhile now. When i was a kid (and movie theaters still had posters *explaining* the ratings systems in their lobbies) there were just the basic Violence, Nudity, etc.

Now they get all specific and it's totally like a joke. Check out a few of my favorites... They're all for real, i swear. Just check out the IMDB:

xXx: PG-13 for "Non-Stop Action Sequences"

Alien Vs. Predator: PG-13 for "Slime And Gore"

Van Helsing: PG-13 for "Nonstop Creature Action Violence"

Queen Of The Damned: R for "Vampire violence"

Blue Crush: PG-13 for "Teen Partying, ...And A Fight"

Lords Of Dogtown: PG-13 for "Reckless Behavior"

But probably the BEST of all-time:

Twister: PG-13 for "Intense Depection Of Very Bad Weather"

-Rude
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Pak-Man on September 11, 2006, 08:25:41 PM
My favorite was Powerpuff Girls: Rated G for Non-Stop Frenetic Violence. :^)
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: LadyKenobi on September 11, 2006, 11:10:19 PM
Quote
Twister: PG-13 for "Intense Depection Of Very Bad Weather"

You're making that up!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Sharktopus on September 12, 2006, 03:09:28 AM
I got the weirdest look from the girl in the ticket booth when I said, "Hi. Two student tickets for the Powerpuff movie, please."

Don't forget my favorite guilty pleasure - Team America: World Police, "Rated R for graphic crude and sexual humor, violent images and strong language - all involving puppets."

AMERICA! F*CK YEAH!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Otis on September 12, 2006, 07:31:29 AM
Good stuff. My favroite riff from this one is when Vin pauses to look down the snow-covered mountain, getting ready to blow stuff up, and Mike says, "Yodel-ay-hee-hoo."

I laughed so hard I woke up the baby and got in trouble with the spouse. Thanks Mike.

Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Rude on September 12, 2006, 08:05:33 AM
You're making that up!

I may have spelled it wrong, but i swear it's for real...

Go check it out: http://imdb.com/title/tt0117998/

-Rude
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: SmilinJackRoss on September 12, 2006, 09:44:25 AM
Great rifftrack.  My favorite riffs:

"Ooh, she gave him an Iceman teeth-chomp."

"I'm gonna have to get on that thing."
"What?"
"I'm gonna have to get on that thing."
"What?"
"I'm gonna have to get on that thing."
"What?"
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Code Name: Bobby Goldsboro Hair on September 12, 2006, 10:57:16 AM
Did anyone notice that one of the reasons for the MPAA rating was "nonstop action"??? I kid you not~ Awesome...

I just saw that today.  That seems more like a joke from a McBain movie on the Simpsons than an actual MPAA criteria for rating movies.

I hate when people put a quote inside a quote... but oh well, sue me~

Anyway, this kind of goofy MPAA rating thing has been going on for awhile now. When i was a kid (and movie theaters still had posters *explaining* the ratings systems in their lobbies) there were just the basic Violence, Nudity, etc.

Now they get all specific and it's totally like a joke. Check out a few of my favorites... They're all for real, i swear. Just check out the IMDB:

xXx: PG-13 for "Non-Stop Action Sequences"

Alien Vs. Predator: PG-13 for "Slime And Gore"

Van Helsing: PG-13 for "Nonstop Creature Action Violence"

Queen Of The Damned: R for "Vampire violence"

Blue Crush: PG-13 for "Teen Partying, ...And A Fight"

Lords Of Dogtown: PG-13 for "Reckless Behavior"

But probably the BEST of all-time:

Twister: PG-13 for "Intense Depection Of Very Bad Weather"

-Rude

My favorite MPAA warning is for Team America: World Police:

Rated R for graphic crude and sexual humor, violent images and strong language - all involving puppets
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: PlayMSTie on September 12, 2006, 11:07:15 AM
I'm laughing again just reading these quotes.

"Oh no! My collection of oily rags!"
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: RandyMistie on September 12, 2006, 12:32:13 PM
The thing I found amazing, (besides Mike's great writing and riffing), was that the movie is so- so- SO- completely unbelievable.  I mean, only a 14 year old kid failing public school could actually believe that a secret government agent would be culled from the ranks of a bunch of anti-government street punks, like Vin's character.  Can you imagine the political fallout that any administration would face if it came out that some melty faced NSA commander had given top level clearance to a snow boarder?  A snow boarder who trashed a US senator's car?  For National Defense?  Oh man...

Department of Homeland Security's new asset, Tony Hawk.  "Your Honor, we really liked his video games... so..."
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Variety of Cells on September 12, 2006, 04:54:36 PM
That's exactly why they make the best secret agents, because no one expects them to be secret agents.  And being sports enthusiasts they can travel to weird, dangerous locations.  "Why are you going to Iran to climb a mountain?"  "Because it's there."  And people wouldn't question their intelligence because they already regard them as fairly stupid. 

If it worked for Chuck Barris, it can work for xtreme athletes.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: sarcasm_made_Easy on September 12, 2006, 08:15:24 PM
Quote
I mean, only a 14 year old kid failing public school could actually believe that a secret government agent would be culled from the ranks of a bunch of anti-government street punks, like Vin's character.


I thought thats how they often hire hackers.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: kodiakthejuggler on September 13, 2006, 07:51:49 AM
A Ripe-for-Riffing movie should attempt to take itself seriously, which xXx does, in my opinion.

"The Xander Zone"? How utterly rediculous!

Why does every single movie that involves Eurotrash have to include numerous "clubs" with fancy light shows/Tesla coils/horribly repetitive music/leather-clad dancers/people with greasy hair/chain-smokers?

That little Q wannabe from MIT should have been shot in the head by xXx the minute he appeared on screen. Hearing Mike's desire to pray for this man's death was pure gold!!!

Asia Argento needs some dental work done. Pronto.

When Skaters act... - PRICELESS!!!!!!!


After re-watching this gem thanks to Mike's superior riffing, I was reminded just how God-awful this turd of a movie was!! And Ebert, well, I wish I could deduct public opinion points from him for that. The fact that he influences a great deal of the movie-going public should be grounds for some kind of punishment for giving xXx a 3 & 1/2 star rating. Shame on you, Roger. Every clich? in the book, horrible acting, rediculous plot, not a new idea in sight, this movie has all the trappings of an F-grade movie, and here we have a respected national critic giving it undeserved accolades. He prides himself in his judgement of films based on their intentions, but he doesn't play fair. I still haven't forgiven him for his trashing of UHF, one of the best comedies in history.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: kodiakthejuggler on September 13, 2006, 08:14:25 AM
Did anyone notice that one of the reasons for the MPAA rating was "nonstop action"??? I kid you not~ Awesome...

I just saw that today.  That seems more like a joke from a McBain movie on the Simpsons than an actual MPAA criteria for rating movies.

I hate when people put a quote inside a quote... but oh well, sue me~

Anyway, this kind of goofy MPAA rating thing has been going on for awhile now. When i was a kid (and movie theaters still had posters *explaining* the ratings systems in their lobbies) there were just the basic Violence, Nudity, etc.

Now they get all specific and it's totally like a joke. Check out a few of my favorites... They're all for real, i swear. Just check out the IMDB:

xXx: PG-13 for "Non-Stop Action Sequences"

Alien Vs. Predator: PG-13 for "Slime And Gore"

Van Helsing: PG-13 for "Nonstop Creature Action Violence"

Queen Of The Damned: R for "Vampire violence"

Blue Crush: PG-13 for "Teen Partying, ...And A Fight"

Lords Of Dogtown: PG-13 for "Reckless Behavior"

But probably the BEST of all-time:

Twister: PG-13 for "Intense Depection Of Very Bad Weather"

-Rude


Rude, if you liked those ratings descriptions, here's one to add to the list:

Braveheart: R for "Brutal medieval warfare" - Sounds cool, no?

And yeah, the rating description for Twister was the best!!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Joe Don Faker on September 13, 2006, 08:22:05 AM
That little Q wannabe from MIT should have been shot in the head by xXx the minute he appeared on screen. Hearing Mike's desire to pray for this man's death was pure gold!!!

From an interview with Q wannabe Agent Toby Lee Shavers (http://movies.about.com/od/xxx2/a/xxx2mr042605.htm) -- aka actor Michael Roof:

Quote
Ready for Another ?XXX? Adventure? ?As of now I?m back in the third one. We just have to see if people hate me. If they hate me, then they?ll probably kill me. I?ll be like, ?Here?s your gadget,? and they?ll shoot me in the face

Quote
New Gadgets in This Action-Packed Sequel (the second movie): ?A thing called the Glove. Electro-numatic suction. It doesn?t mean anything to you. Me either. It was dialogue on a page that I learned. But it?s a glove ? not like Michael Jackson or anything. It?s cool.?

Electro-numatic suction...?  It does mean something to me.  It means it sucks.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Ivan Druzhkov on September 14, 2006, 11:39:28 AM
I enjoyed the Rifftrax immensely ("Conan O'Brien!" still gets me every time.), but the actual movie left me a little confused.  Could someone clear up a few issues for me?

1. How did Vin Diesel make all his money?  It seems that all he did all day was destroy other people's cars, have bitchin' parties, and play video games.  Is there some type of Rad Federal X-Treme Financial Assistance program in the US that I'm unaware of?

2. Where did the anarchists get their money?  Did they have a criminal empire, or are Red Army pensions far more generous that reported?

3. Finally, where did they find the giant Kindersurprise egg they got the sub out of?  I could certainly use a 10-meter long egg full of chocolate.  Yes indeedy.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: kodiakthejuggler on September 14, 2006, 12:08:58 PM
I enjoyed the Rifftrax immensely ("Conan O'Brien!" still gets me every time.), but the actual movie left me a little confused.  Could someone clear up a few issues for me?

1. How did Vin Diesel make all his money?  It seems that all he did all day was destroy other people's cars, have bitchin' parties, and play video games.  Is there some type of Rad Federal X-Treme Financial Assistance program in the US that I'm unaware of?

2. Where did the anarchists get their money?  Did they have a criminal empire, or are Red Army pensions far more generous that reported?

3. Finally, where did they find the giant Kindersurprise egg they got the sub out of?  I could certainly use a 10-meter long egg full of chocolate.  Yes indeedy.

1. He was part of the .com boom of the late 90s. Mark Cuban, anyone?

2. They stole it from the ?ber-rich bastard who owned the mansion, whom also added the alarm system back in the King Wenceslas days.

3. You're overthinking the movie. Don't make the mistake of using your brain while viewing xXx.

 ;D
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Rude on September 14, 2006, 02:06:05 PM
Quote
...where did they find the giant Kindersurprise egg they got the sub out of?

Hey now... I've gotten like, a gigantic ring toss game out of one of those eggs before. The sucker must've been almost a foot tall. Granted, it's not a nuclear submarine but still...

-Rude

PS- Does anyone actually eat the chocolate anyway? I always figured it was like the gum that came with baseball cards~
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Living_Dead_Girl on September 14, 2006, 09:21:35 PM
*snip*

Uh, yeah... so, what movie did you really snag that info from? I didn't see the phrases "piece of crap", 'waste of time", or "Vin Diesel should be neutered" anywhere in those review blurbs (By the way, like I said, just my opinion, and in my opinion, this movie was crap, and beyond saving by any means - I'll try not to bring it up in every post though *coughzachsmindcough*).

I completely agree.  Vin should be neutered.  Maybe he'd actually get a decent tone in his voice instead of that low, caveman grunt like Sly Stallone.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: sarcasm_made_Easy on September 14, 2006, 09:31:39 PM
Quote
Maybe he'd actually get a decent tone in his voice instead of that low, caveman grunt like Sly Stallone.

at least he doesnt have the accent.  that would be too much
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Sophie on September 15, 2006, 03:16:26 AM

Anyway, this kind of goofy MPAA rating thing has been going on for awhile now. When i was a kid (and movie theaters still had posters *explaining* the ratings systems in their lobbies) there were just the basic Violence, Nudity, etc.

Now they get all specific and it's totally like a joke. Check out a few of my favorites... They're all for real, i swear. Just check out the IMDB:

I burst out laughing on a packed Tube platform in London a few years ago (and got a few funny looks) when I saw a poster for the Wild Thornberrys movie, rated PG for "mild peril".

As for my thoughts on xXx... what a dumb movie. Dumb dumb dumb. The stupid plot, the over-the-top explosions ("Oh no, my oily rags!"), Vin Diesel's "acting" - I was laughing at the ridiculousness of this movie from start to finish. Of course I was also laughing at the riffs, which I thought were spot on. "My collection of [explosive materials]!" was pure gold, as was Mike's Vin impressions ("Duhhhhhhh?"), the comments on the well-off anarchists, wishing death on the Q-wannabe; for me everything just clicked which made watching this movie bearable. Thank you Rifftrax!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Mrbnatural on September 20, 2006, 02:16:17 PM
I had forgotten just how bad this movie really is... there are no characters, only WAAY over the top stereotypes... seriously, they should have just named themselves after their prescribed role...

the Rifftrax version, though, was hilarious. I'll probably end up watching it again before long, which is saying a lot.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Jocko Homo on September 23, 2006, 02:40:44 AM
"The Xander Zone"? How utterly rediculous!
I'm sorry to be anal but that's spelt with an "i", such as The Chronicles of Ridicule (http://imdb.com/title/tt0296572/)...

Some of my favourite riff lines are:
"Man, it seems as if you can get away with anything in Prauge..."
"The inspector Clouseau of the Czech Republic..."
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Bob M. on September 23, 2006, 06:02:09 AM
and that's spelled Prague ;)
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Tarantulas on September 23, 2006, 11:01:26 PM
I've had a hard time finishing this one...  xXx is just that awful... maybe its just Vin and the fact that I've yet to see Asia naked yet... but I keep getting stuck at about the 1 hour mark.

I'm going to give it another chance tonight some time. 

Here's hoping :)
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Pak-Man on September 23, 2006, 11:27:39 PM
Hate to shoot your hopes down but no.
No naked Asia in this one. :^)
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: mrbasehart on September 24, 2006, 06:59:42 AM
maybe its just Vin and the fact that I've yet to see Asia naked yet...


She's most naked in her own films, or the ones she does with her father.  I remember reading an interview with her about the fact that she seems to be naked a lot in her own father's films, and she replied something to the effect of "There's probably something weird to it, but we don't talk about it".  Still, she's pretty awesome.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Cibernético II on October 03, 2006, 02:24:00 PM
I'm a little less critical of this movie the most of you. I thought the original was not without any entertaining value. In fact after seeing it for the first time after buying the Rifftrax, I was a little disappointed that Vin didn't sign on for a sequal (I'm sure the second one is even funnier starring pudgy little Ice Cube[ever seen Ghosts of Mars? good Lord]). The movie is a little silly and seems that it was produced by a bunch of MTV employees, but I think they deserve a little credit for trying to put a new spin on the spy movie genre.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: MontyServo on October 16, 2006, 05:33:52 AM
I just watched XXX yesterday for the first time.  I never saw the movie before because I don't care for Vin Diesel and the culture of "extreme" sports, so I figured I would hate the movie.  It turns out that i had a blast watching it.  I love big, dumb, loud action films, especially those that have the budgets to blow tons of crap up and have stuntmen throw their bodies all over the place!  Mike's riffs were perfect!  Vin Diesel is such a lunkhead, I was getting Reb Brown flashbacks watching this.  Great fun and a must see Rifftrax!  Of course they are all must see's!   ;D

 
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: DoctorZ on October 20, 2006, 04:42:24 PM
I was in Prague last week on vacation and actually visited some of the sites where xXx was filmed.  How they got everybody off the Charles Bridge is a wonder.  I watched the film w/Rifftrax in my hotel room.  It was almost a religious experience.  Mike Nelson IS the Infant of Prague!
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: BBQ Platypus on October 30, 2006, 07:56:48 AM
I just watched XXX yesterday for the first time.  I never saw the movie before because I don't care for Vin Diesel and the culture of "extreme" sports, so I figured I would hate the movie.  It turns out that i had a blast watching it.  I love big, dumb, loud action films, especially those that have the budgets to blow tons of crap up and have stuntmen throw their bodies all over the place!  Mike's riffs were perfect!  Vin Diesel is such a lunkhead, I was getting Reb Brown flashbacks watching this.  Great fun and a must see Rifftrax!  Of course they are all must see's!   ;D

 

I agree.  XXX wasn't really a bad movie - it was just really, really stupid, in both the good and bad kind of ways.  It had a LOT of the bad, MTV-type stupid (aka "THE VERY BIG STUPID"), but just enough of the good ("Commando") kind of stupid to be watchable.  Hooray for stupid.  The riffs made this movie a LOT better, though.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Hellcat on October 30, 2006, 11:57:06 PM
I had a ball watching this one.  Every now and then I like to watch a dumb action movie, and XXX really filled the bill.  Mike did a super job.  I loved his shots at the wealthy anarchists, and his observation that you could apparently get away with anything in Prague.  The "yodel" especially cracked me up.


"His ability to bend slightly is paying HUGE dividends!"
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 01, 2006, 11:47:09 AM
I didn't really care for the riffing on this one, and it's the weakest I've heard so far. So many of the riffs were him effectively saying "I'm middle aged and slightly dull and I'm just going to mock extreme sports, rock music and action movies". It was funny in places, but the film didn't really help him- not stupid enough to be properly funny and not exciting or coherent enough to be good.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: LadyKenobi on December 01, 2006, 04:24:02 PM
It's so strange how subjective humor is-- because this one still stands as my all-time favorite RiffTrax.  I thought it was hilarious :)
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Minnesota on December 01, 2006, 04:41:49 PM
^^ subjective indeed... cause I've yet to dislike a single rifftrax.  :P

Although I get somewhat disapointed if the "skit conversations" arent funny or whatever, but then I remember that the thing only cost me 3 bucks and the majority of the riffs are hilarious!  8)

XxX has alot of funny jokes, great rifftrack
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: 6079SmithW on December 01, 2006, 06:53:33 PM
I didn't really care for the riffing on this one, and it's the weakest I've heard so far. So many of the riffs were him effectively saying "I'm middle aged and slightly dull and I'm just going to mock extreme sports, rock music and action movies". It was funny in places, but the film didn't really help him- not stupid enough to be properly funny and not exciting or coherent enough to be good.
I'm young and exciting, and I mock 'extreme' sports, rock music (when it's awful, awful Rammstein) and action movies (when they actively insult the audience) too. If the movie had been earnest in any way about putting those things in, I might think making fun of them was mean spirited, but every single bike jump, video game reference, and lick of music seemed either market tested by the same people who make Mountain Dew commercials (i.e. cynically trying to cash in on youth culture, not actually part of it) or a snide implied insult to the audience (the Third Man music seemed to be nothing so much as the filmmaker saying 'Haha, you don't get this.') Ugh.

Point Break was a bad movie, but I think the people behind it actually felt some enthusiasm for surfing or skydiving, and it shows. As a result, the movie is dumb but not insulting. This one was a slap in the damn face, and my only problem with the rifftrak is that I bought the DVD to go with it.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Famous Mortimer on December 02, 2006, 11:50:47 AM
I'm young and exciting, and I mock 'extreme' sports, rock music (when it's awful, awful Rammstein) and action movies (when they actively insult the audience) too. If the movie had been earnest in any way about putting those things in, I might think making fun of them was mean spirited, but every single bike jump, video game reference, and lick of music seemed either market tested by the same people who make Mountain Dew commercials (i.e. cynically trying to cash in on youth culture, not actually part of it) or a snide implied insult to the audience (the Third Man music seemed to be nothing so much as the filmmaker saying 'Haha, you don't get this.') Ugh.

Point Break was a bad movie, but I think the people behind it actually felt some enthusiasm for surfing or skydiving, and it shows. As a result, the movie is dumb but not insulting. This one was a slap in the damn face, and my only problem with the rifftrak is that I bought the DVD to go with it.
I like Rammstein a lot, as do several other people on this board judging by the thread. I've watched the occasional surfing and skateboarding video, and think extreme sports are no more or less annoying than any other comeptitive sport. But my point wasn't that he was specifically insulting those things in this film, his commentary gave the impression that no matter what the context, he would have thought those things were stupid and somehow beneath him. He spent several minutes insulting the gadget guy when the film made it perfectly clear he was an idiot, so it came out...well, not funny.

You've leapt to the wrong conclusion from what I wrote- or perhaps you can point out where I said the film was good. Criticising Mike's riffing on this particular film doesn't mean I thought the film was good, just means I didn't like his riffing. I very specifically said, in fact, that I didn't like the film. So your point is?

Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: 6079SmithW on December 02, 2006, 12:03:10 PM
I'm young and exciting, and I mock 'extreme' sports, rock music (when it's awful, awful Rammstein) and action movies (when they actively insult the audience) too. If the movie had been earnest in any way about putting those things in, I might think making fun of them was mean spirited, but every single bike jump, video game reference, and lick of music seemed either market tested by the same people who make Mountain Dew commercials (i.e. cynically trying to cash in on youth culture, not actually part of it) or a snide implied insult to the audience (the Third Man music seemed to be nothing so much as the filmmaker saying 'Haha, you don't get this.') Ugh.

Point Break was a bad movie, but I think the people behind it actually felt some enthusiasm for surfing or skydiving, and it shows. As a result, the movie is dumb but not insulting. This one was a slap in the damn face, and my only problem with the rifftrak is that I bought the DVD to go with it.
I like Rammstein a lot, as do several other people on this board judging by the thread. I've watched the occasional surfing and skateboarding video, and think extreme sports are no more or less annoying than any other comeptitive sport. But my point wasn't that he was specifically insulting those things in this film, his commentary gave the impression that no matter what the context, he would have thought those things were stupid and somehow beneath him. He spent several minutes insulting the gadget guy when the film made it perfectly clear he was an idiot, so it came out...well, not funny.

You've leapt to the wrong conclusion from what I wrote- or perhaps you can point out where I said the film was good. Criticising Mike's riffing on this particular film doesn't mean I thought the film was good, just means I didn't like his riffing. I very specifically said, in fact, that I didn't like the film. So your point is?


I don't think I said you thought the film was good.

Anyway, my point was that I think Mike was mocking the film's thin veneer of 'attitude' more than the activities portrayed, and I see no reason to assume that's he's a crotchety old man because of it.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Just Some Guy on April 02, 2007, 03:37:35 PM
I have to say that I didn't think XXX sucked.  It's not high cinema by any stretch and it certainly deserves to be mocked but it's not a bad movie for two reasons.

First, the complete lack of pretense that the film was anything more than excuse to showcase action scenes.  I hate it when action movies feel the need to justify their set pieces with a convoluted story that you can't help but think about and poke holes in.  Movies can't be all action sequences but if your film is a big, dumb action film then don't pretend to have a deep plot.  XXX's story was paper thin but because they didn't try to make it any deeper than "Terrorists with a weapon and they get an extreme sports dude to go after them" it flows well.

The second thing is that there really was a lot of fairly skilled stunt work in the movie.  The kind of stunt work that is going away and being replaced with bad CGI and/or rapid fire editing to cover up the fact that they can't compose anything for more than a second and half.  Take a very close look at pretty much any recent action scene where a "big" "star" is fighting; you'll see that it's composed of unconnected, extremely brief shots of people throwing a punch.  XXX had skilled stuntmen and editors putting those action scenes together and they look much better than most action films.

I don't think it's a great movie by any means and there's so much to make fun of even in the things that I thought were well done, but this isn't remotely one of the worst films around.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: sarcasm_made_Easy on April 03, 2007, 02:21:24 AM
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The kind of stunt work that is going away and being replaced with bad CGI and/or rapid fire editing to cover up the fact that they can't compose anything for more than a second and half.  Take a very close look at pretty much any recent action scene where a "big" "star" is fighting; you'll see that it's composed of unconnected, extremely brief shots of people throwing a punch.  XXX had skilled stuntmen and editors putting those action scenes together and they look much better than most action films

holy crap your right, i didnt even think of that.   :clap:
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Hobbit on April 24, 2007, 07:54:50 AM
The second thing is that there really was a lot of fairly skilled stunt work in the movie.  The kind of stunt work that is going away and being replaced with bad CGI and/or rapid fire editing to cover up the fact that they can't compose anything for more than a second and half.  Take a very close look at pretty much any recent action scene where a "big" "star" is fighting; you'll see that it's composed of unconnected, extremely brief shots of people throwing a punch.  XXX had skilled stuntmen and editors putting those action scenes together and they look much better than most action films.

You do have an excellent point.  That's also something I like about Lord of the Rings and the saber fights in Star Wars.  They were actually doing (most of) that crap rather than just cutting it really fast.  In fact, I hear that as the Star Wars movies wore on, they replaced a LOT of saber props.  In the original trilogy, they went for cheap, but in Episode III, they got carbon fiber saber props because they tempered steel ones would bend before the take was over.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: Hazzah on May 05, 2007, 04:28:52 PM
I learned it takes FOREVER to take down a solar powered nuclear submarine.

Not to mention for being a submarine, it spent a lot of time above water.

Oh and Prague is NOT in South Carolina like I previously assumed.
Title: Re: XXX : Thoughts?
Post by: sarcasm_made_Easy on May 06, 2007, 02:49:26 AM
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learned it takes FOREVER to take down a solar powered nuclear submarine

why exactly was the friggewn sub solar powered??  dont subs spend a lot of time wAAAAAAY below the surface away from the sun?