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Members Hub => Board Games for the Bored => Topic started by: LucasM on May 11, 2011, 01:23:49 PM

Title: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 11, 2011, 01:23:49 PM
I thought for those who love a good (or bad  ;) ) pun, we really ought to have a thread specifically to accommodate them.  So here we are.

Basically, just post your pun-related comments here.  They can either be short, one-liners, or full jokes or riddles.  Whatever you come up with that you want to share.  You can also include non-pun stuff if it involves wordplay to 'work'.

I'll start with one I just came up with.



Ashamed of his breakfast-food-only eating proclivities, George ate all his waffles syruptitiously.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: daltysmilth on May 11, 2011, 04:24:19 PM
Is this thread meant as punishment?
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 11, 2011, 06:38:33 PM
Is this thread meant as punishment?

Only if you are one of the many who enjoy practicing 'self abuse'.  ;)
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: RoninFox on May 11, 2011, 06:54:57 PM
Is this thread meant as punishment?
:rimshot:
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: daltysmilth on May 12, 2011, 10:42:11 PM
Is this thread meant as punishment?
:rimshot:


Exactly.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: Action Batch on May 13, 2011, 06:38:02 AM
Co-worker: I was supposed to get my broken windshield replaced yesterday, but the guy never showed. He told me I was on his schedule.

Me: Sounds like you slipped through the cracks.

Co-worker: Yeah, and then I e-mailed him about it, and blah blah blah blah...





Stealth pun.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: k1 on May 13, 2011, 07:19:44 AM
Those are the best kinds.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 13, 2011, 01:10:56 PM
Co-worker: I was supposed to get my broken windshield replaced yesterday, but the guy never showed. He told me I was on his schedule.

Me: Sounds like you slipped through the cracks.

Co-worker: Yeah, and then I e-mailed him about it, and blah blah blah blah...





Stealth pun.

 :D  I enjoy ninja punning myself (and, like so many who enjoy a good pun - such as yourself - we can end up with great ones coming out often without intending them to [e.g. recently with the massage therapist who works on my back and neck injuries: she was talking about delays in the state setting up licensing to help validate those who actually do real, healing work.  In a response, part of my comment was, "seems like that's the most pressing issue for you," (a phrase I would not normally use) only after saying it - and getting her response - realizing the 'pressing' had double meaning for her.]).

Those are the best kinds.

Indeed!  [Though occasionally, for (hopefully) comedic effect, I will exaggerate the pun words... that usually works best with 'lesser' puns: ones that seem 'too obvious'.  For smooth ones (like 'slipped through the cracks') just regular vocal tonalities seem most enjoyable to deliver.]
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: spaceforarent on May 13, 2011, 04:19:27 PM
Warning: this spoiler has graphic content.
 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 13, 2011, 05:42:40 PM
Warning: this spoiler has graphic content.
 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sweet!!  A 'functional' pun!  From whence does one 'pull down' an idea like that, one wonders?
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: stansimpson on May 13, 2011, 06:30:32 PM
Co-worker: I was supposed to get my broken windshield replaced yesterday, but the guy never showed. He told me I was on his schedule.

Me: Sounds like you slipped through the cracks.

Co-worker: Yeah, and then I e-mailed him about it, and blah blah blah blah...





Stealth pun.
Sounds like you needed sunglasses and The Who to drive home the point.   8)

"YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: Darth Geek on May 13, 2011, 07:40:48 PM
PUN FUN?! Pfft, every pun under the sun has been done. Name one pun that's never been done and I'll be stunned. And if you start running off a ton of puns, I'll go get my gun.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 13, 2011, 07:45:33 PM
PUN FUN?! Pfft, every pun under the sun has been done. Name one pun that's never been done and I'll be stunned. And if you start running off a ton of puns, I'll go get my gun.

What, none?  You're no fun!
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: Invader_quirk on May 13, 2011, 08:08:58 PM
Somebody comes up to me, says "I just saw two ducks in that fountain".
"Impossible" I snort back.
"What? Why?"
"It's a total pair-a-ducks!"
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: SJP on May 13, 2011, 09:18:31 PM
*cracks knuckles*

I heard CBS Publishing sold one of its subsidiaries to the Detroit Tigers.  From now on, they'll be publishing sports books under the "Simon & Scherzer" label.

But enough about my proctology degree.

I'm not a Stephen King fan.  "The Stand" was too much to take sitting down, "The Shining" was rather dull, and "It" didn't do much for Me.

Never ask a terrorist for a balm.  You'll just get burned.

And two other things for lovers of this sort of chicanery: One I cannot claim for myself (just saw it on a website) -
"A lion never cheats, but a Tiger Wood."

And a video of some of the better wordplay you'll get in good, clean comedy for the whole family, the One Ronnie:
http://www.youtube.com/v/kAG39jKi0lI?fs=1&hl=en_US"
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 14, 2011, 02:06:24 AM
[Gotta' say: I'm lovin' these!  OK... enough 'non-pun' verbiage...]



Fred always expended careful unremitting attention and persistent application of himself to scratching the cheeks of his rear end.  Butt of course it was expected that he would, as he was ass-itch-uous about everything he did.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: daltysmilth on May 14, 2011, 09:03:23 AM
I don't know if this is the place to bring this up, but my friend was in a motorcycle accident recently that ended up paralyzing the entire left side of his body.  But he's all right now.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 14, 2011, 11:02:59 AM
I don't know if this is the place to bring this up, but my friend was in a motorcycle accident recently that ended up paralyzing the entire left side of his body.  But he's all right now.

 :D

It's too bad... I understand that even his girlfriend describes him as being half the man he used to be.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: Darth Geek on May 14, 2011, 01:00:12 PM
I don't know if this is the place to bring this up, but my friend was in a motorcycle accident recently that ended up paralyzing the entire left side of his body.  But he's all right now.

 :D

It's too bad... I understand that even his girlfriend describes him as being half the man he used to be.
yeah, but I understand he's very sensitive right now. These comments might rub him the wrong way.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: stansimpson on May 14, 2011, 02:59:28 PM
I don't know if this is the place to bring this up, but my friend was in a motorcycle accident recently that ended up paralyzing the entire left side of his body.  But he's all right now.

 :D

It's too bad... I understand that even his girlfriend describes him as being half the man he used to be.
yeah, but I understand he's very sensitive right now. These comments might rub him the wrong way.
Not much left of him anymore, huh?
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: SJP on May 14, 2011, 07:53:10 PM
I just recently found out Disney made a sequel to one of my favorite movies, and it just got released a few weeks ago.  I was so happy, I went out, bought it, and now I can't stop doing the "New Tron Dance."

Ouch.  That one was painful.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 14, 2011, 08:05:31 PM
I just recently found out Disney made a sequel to one of my favorite movies, and it just got released a few weeks ago.  I was so happy, I went out, bought it, and now I can't stop doing the "New Tron Dance."

Ouch.  That one was painful.

I haven't been able to master those moves... can you give me some Pointers, Sister?
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: daltysmilth on May 15, 2011, 10:48:45 AM
I just recently found out Disney made a sequel to one of my favorite movies, and it just got released a few weeks ago.  I was so happy, I went out, bought it, and now I can't stop doing the "New Tron Dance."

Ouch.  That one was painful.

I haven't been able to master those moves... can you give me some Pointers, Sister?

I heard James Cameron's next project is going to be a sequel to one of his classic films.  The title: "Son Of Abyss".
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 15, 2011, 12:03:57 PM
I heard James Cameron's next project is going to be a sequel to one of his classic films.  The title: "Son Of Abyss".

That reminds me of the small General Motors truck with taller wheels and larger tread designed for use on sand: the Sonoma-Beach.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: SJP on May 16, 2011, 04:40:17 PM
Oh, no, car puns.  We're retreading this old ground?  Honestly, I'm little tire-d of these things.  Let try something different for oil change.  Maybe a little engine-uity?
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: stansimpson on May 16, 2011, 05:01:44 PM
Oh, no, car puns.  We're retreading this old ground?  Honestly, I'm little tire-d of these things.  Let try something different for oil change.  Maybe a little engine-uity?
As long as we can all stay in one Accord.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 16, 2011, 06:12:54 PM
Oh, no, car puns.  We're retreading this old ground?  Honestly, I'm little tire-d of these things.  Let try something different for oil change.  Maybe a little engine-uity?
As long as we can all stay in one Accord.
Geez!  I make one little comment and you just drive it into the ground!  Good thing I don't usually swear, or I'd've likely felt "oh-dommit... er"... or maybe I wouldn't have.  At any rate I'll just have to put on the brakes on my car-related comments and say: later!  It's been a gas!
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: RoninFox on May 16, 2011, 07:40:47 PM
Oh, no, car puns.  We're retreading this old ground?  Honestly, I'm little tire-d of these things.  Let try something different for oil change.  Maybe a little engine-uity?
As long as we can all stay in one Accord.
Geez!  I make one little comment and you just drive it into the ground!  Good thing I don't usually swear, or I'd've likely felt "oh-dommit... er"... or maybe I wouldn't have.  At any rate I'll just have to put on the brakes on my car-related comments and say: later!  It's been a gas!

Enough!  We need to FOCUS!  You can't just RAM a car name into a sentence and make it funny!
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: SJP on May 16, 2011, 07:55:10 PM
Enough!  We need to FOCUS!  You can't just RAM a car name into a sentence and make it funny!

That statement is entirely Acura-te.

I once went over to that place where they filmed the Lord of the Rings and tried to rent an apartment.  But this little guy that owned the place refused to let me stay.  I offered him everything...money, credit, collateral on my car...he wouldn't budge.  I actually had to hire a mafioso enforcer to teach the guy a lesson.

Which just goes to show: You can't make a gnome let without breaking some legs.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: daltysmilth on May 17, 2011, 08:43:33 AM
Oh, no, car puns.  We're retreading this old ground?  Honestly, I'm little tire-d of these things.  Let try something different for oil change.  Maybe a little engine-uity?
As long as we can all stay in one Accord.
Geez!  I make one little comment and you just drive it into the ground!  Good thing I don't usually swear, or I'd've likely felt "oh-dommit... er"... or maybe I wouldn't have.  At any rate I'll just have to put on the brakes on my car-related comments and say: later!  It's been a gas!

Enough!  We need to FOCUS!  You can't just RAM a car name into a sentence and make it funny!

That's very CAVALIER of you.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on May 21, 2011, 02:54:06 AM
I just watched Harryhausen's 'Mysterious Island' again.  I gotta' say, some of those scenes are SO stressful!  I mean, every time the scene comes on where the bee seals the young couple in the wax, I get hives!
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: mike5150 on May 21, 2011, 08:35:30 AM
Somebody comes up to me, says "I just saw two ducks in that fountain".
"Impossible" I snort back.
"What? Why?"
"It's a total pair-a-ducks!"
I actually heard there were 3 ducks, but one of them were kicked out for making bad duck puns and nobody likes a wise-quacker.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: spaceforarent on May 21, 2011, 12:18:32 PM
Somebody comes up to me, says "I just saw two ducks in that fountain".
"Impossible" I snort back.
"What? Why?"
"It's a total pair-a-ducks!"
I actually heard there were 3 ducks, but one of them were kicked out for making bad duck puns and nobody likes a wise-quacker.
I was wondering when you'd show up in here.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: mike5150 on May 21, 2011, 05:58:53 PM
Somebody comes up to me, says "I just saw two ducks in that fountain".
"Impossible" I snort back.
"What? Why?"
"It's a total pair-a-ducks!"
I actually heard there were 3 ducks, but one of them were kicked out for making bad duck puns and nobody likes a wise-quacker.
I was wondering when you'd show up in here.
Don't you mean.....PUNdering? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA aaaaahhhhh. wait. That may not be funny at all. I'm gonna have to get back to you.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on June 10, 2011, 05:54:12 PM
Here's an idea I just had for a cartoon (I thought of it originally for a tee-shirt design):


Emperor Palpatine, Darth Sidious, Darth Maul, and Darth Vader are hanging around in a Laundromat in their skivvies.  Both Sidious and Vader are standing, both in boxers.  Darth Maul is sitting on one of the machines and has little red hearts on his briefs.  Palpatine [also boxers] would be sitting in the main focal point of the picture.  Beside them are two full baskets of clothing, and one empty basket.  The two full ones clearly contain whites in one and bright colors in the other.  They all look - at best - bored... Darth Sidious is checking his watch, with one hand, Palpatine is 1/2-heartedly thumbing through a magazine on a rickety little table (possibly something like 'Cat Fancy').

The title underneath is:  "Dark Load of the Sith"
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: daltysmilth on June 10, 2011, 08:58:30 PM
Here's an idea I just had for a cartoon (I thought of it originally for a tee-shirt design):


Emperor Palpatine, Darth Sidious, Darth Maul, and Darth Vader are hanging around in a Laundromat in their skivvies.  Both Sidious and Vader are standing, both in boxers.  Darth Maul is sitting on one of the machines and has little red hearts on his briefs.  Palpatine [also boxers] would be sitting in the main focal point of the picture.  Beside them are two full baskets of clothing, and one empty basket.  The two full ones clearly contain whites in one and bright colors in the other.  They all look - at best - bored... Darth Sidious is checking his watch, with one hand, Palpatine is 1/2-heartedly thumbing through a magazine on a rickety little table (possibly something like 'Cat Fancy').

The title underneath is:  "Dark Load of the Sith"


That pun is a load of sith.  You just had to force it on us, didn't you?

Seriously,though, that was a good one.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: D.B. Barnes on June 10, 2011, 09:33:16 PM
Here's an idea I just had for a cartoon (I thought of it originally for a tee-shirt design):


Emperor Palpatine, Darth Sidious, Darth Maul, and Darth Vader are hanging around in a Laundromat in their skivvies.  Both Sidious and Vader are standing, both in boxers.  Darth Maul is sitting on one of the machines and has little red hearts on his briefs.  Palpatine [also boxers] would be sitting in the main focal point of the picture.  Beside them are two full baskets of clothing, and one empty basket.  The two full ones clearly contain whites in one and bright colors in the other.  They all look - at best - bored... Darth Sidious is checking his watch, with one hand, Palpatine is 1/2-heartedly thumbing through a magazine on a rickety little table (possibly something like 'Cat Fancy').

The title underneath is:  "Dark Load of the Sith"


That pun is a load of sith.  You just had to force it on us, didn't you?

Seriously,though, that was a good one.

Yeah, I like it. And it doesn't even rip off a Ziggy.

Oh crap, I just realized this a pun game thread. I'm terrible at puns! Uh, something, something, something, pun. Something, something, something, complete.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: LucasM on June 12, 2011, 07:29:01 PM
Uh, something, something, something, pun. Something, something, something, complete.

 :D

With the response I got here, maybe I should invest the multiple hours it would take to get that 'just right' and try submitting it to a tee-shirt company [e.g. teefury, woot, or threadless].

But then again, if the Emperor got a hold of one, the sith would really hit the fan for me!
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: Starman! on June 13, 2011, 05:45:36 PM
Lady GaGa needs to get off The Edge.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: Johnny Unusual on June 14, 2011, 06:46:50 AM
Lady GaGa needs to get off The Edge.
Ew.  Forever.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: spaceforarent on October 16, 2011, 07:09:30 PM
Did you hear about John Doe's son? He was out riding his bike when there was an accident involving a pharmaceutical truck, spilling its contents all over him.

The headlines read: Pills Bury Doe Boy.

I can't take credit for that one, a friend said it years ago. 
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: daltysmilth on October 16, 2011, 09:04:05 PM
That's not funny!  I heard he swallowed so many of the pills that it paralyzed the entire left side of his body!  But thank God, he's all right now.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: Sideswipe on October 20, 2011, 02:38:56 PM
this thread should be renamed, Mike5150:  The thread
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: k1 on October 20, 2011, 04:49:13 PM
this thread should be renamed, Mike5150:  The thread

I miss him on FB. Darn kids.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: shodan on October 24, 2011, 03:43:57 PM
Steve Jobs jokes are popping up already: they say that your life flashes before your eyes before you die. that didn't happen with Jobs though because apple doesn't support flash.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: D.B. Barnes on October 24, 2011, 03:55:11 PM
Steve Jobs jokes are popping up already: they say that your life flashes before your eyes before you die. that didn't happen with Jobs though because apple doesn't support flash.

I first heard that a few days after he passed. There's no grace period on shit like that anymore.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: shodan on October 24, 2011, 07:20:28 PM
haven't heard a single dennis ritchie joke though.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: daltysmilth on October 24, 2011, 08:09:47 PM
One that I'm sure will go over REALLY well on this forum is when someone on my facebook pointed out that in 2001 when George W. Bush was president, Steve Jobs was still alive and Bob Hope was still alive, and now in 2011 with Barack Obama as president, we have no Jobs and no Hope.
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: shodan on October 24, 2011, 08:12:43 PM
One that I'm sure will go over REALLY well on this forum is when someone on my facebook pointed out that in 2001 when George W. Bush was president, Steve Jobs was still alive and Bob Hope was still alive, and now in 2011 with Barack Obama as president, we have no Jobs and no Hope.
you forgot johnny cash
Title: Re: PUN FUN! [And Other Wordplay]
Post by: stansimpson on October 24, 2011, 08:15:11 PM
One that I'm sure will go over REALLY well on this forum is when someone on my facebook pointed out that in 2001 when George W. Bush was president, Steve Jobs was still alive and Bob Hope was still alive, and now in 2011 with Barack Obama as president, we have no Jobs and no Hope.
you forgot johnny cash
And you forgot Kevin Bacon (mentioned in the BACON! thread.... and a day's worth of statuses on my FB feed).