RiffTrax Forum

RiffTrax Discussion => Individual RiffTrax Discussion => Twilight: New Moon => Topic started by: Pak-Man on March 21, 2010, 01:56:18 PM

Title: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Pak-Man on March 21, 2010, 01:56:18 PM
OK. So now we know the players. If someone pointed a gun at you and MADE you choose, who would you pick?
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: bettertomorrowamy on March 21, 2010, 02:02:45 PM
I'd eat the bullet.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: goflyblind on March 21, 2010, 02:13:02 PM
well, i'm on team bill. i suppose, transitively, that means i'm on team jacob. :\
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Darth Geek on March 21, 2010, 02:18:48 PM
Team Dracula.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Bob on March 21, 2010, 02:21:52 PM
Team Buffy
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Moleman on March 21, 2010, 02:23:49 PM
Team Zombie Buttcrack Santa back from the dead.


(What the heck does this team Edward vs Jacob even mean?)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Darth Geek on March 21, 2010, 02:25:22 PM
Team Zombie Buttcrack Santa back from the dead.


(What the heck does this team Edward vs Jacob even mean?)
I think it just means for Twihards, which character do they prefer Bela end up with, Edward or Jacob.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Moleman on March 21, 2010, 02:27:34 PM
Butt-crack Santa must have left some kind of impression for Bella to remember him from when she was 5 years old.


<3 Bella and Zombie Butt-crack Santa forever <3
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Darth Geek on March 21, 2010, 02:37:07 PM
Butt-crack Santa must have left some kind of impression for Bella to remember him from when she was 5 years old.


<3 Bella and Zombie Butt-crack Santa forever <3
Buttcrack Santa. The least offensive character in the first movie.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Cosmic Muse on March 21, 2010, 03:16:36 PM
Team Jacob
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Rattrap007 on March 21, 2010, 03:41:34 PM
The Gay wolves... so Team Jacob
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: ShadowDog on March 21, 2010, 03:42:03 PM
Team Jacob ... but it's Jacob from Lost.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Cosmic Muse on March 21, 2010, 03:43:11 PM
I wish there was a Team Barnabas Collins in this poll.  :(
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: zenmichael on March 21, 2010, 03:44:59 PM
Buttcrack Santa was Waylon, btw, and he's dead now (like REALLY dead, not come-back-as-a-monster dead), so you can't be Team Buttcrack Santa.

Team Jacob all the friggin way, man. Edward seems to hate Bella, denies her sex and is generally abusive and dismissive. Jacob takes her as she is and basically pledges his friggin life to protect her from the shitstorm Ed & family bring down on her.  I hate Bella with a fiery passion, but if we're just in general choosing who seems like the better bf, it's Jacob all the way.

Also (as we point out in our riff) I find it odd that there's more sexual tension between Carla & Bella when he's cleaning her wound than there is between Bella and Edward, so I really think there should be a Team Carla vote. I'd go for that; why not?
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Bob on March 21, 2010, 03:45:21 PM
I wish there was a Team Barnabas Collins in this poll.  :(

Speaking of, wouldn't you kill to have this game at home today?    Although, I heard the game "sucks".

(http://byemylife.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/barnabascollins.jpg)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on March 21, 2010, 03:47:57 PM
I wish there was a Team Barnabas Collins in this poll.  :(

Or Team Quentin.  ;)
Buttcrack Santa was Waylon, btw, and he's dead now (like REALLY dead, not come-back-as-a-monster dead), so you can't be Team Buttcrack Santa.

Unless you figure Bella is better off with a corpse over either of these two guys....

I wish there was a Team Barnabas Collins in this poll.  :(

Speaking of, wouldn't you kill to have this game at home today?    Although, I heard the game "sucks".

It did.   :D  But if you ever find any of the tie-in novels - grab 'em.  They were brilliant.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Cosmic Muse on March 21, 2010, 04:31:22 PM
I wish there was a Team Barnabas Collins in this poll.  :(

Speaking of, wouldn't you kill to have this game at home today?    Although, I heard the game "sucks".

(http://byemylife.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/barnabascollins.jpg)

What do the pile of bones have to do with Dark Shadows?
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Doctor Who? on March 21, 2010, 04:35:52 PM
Team killing them both or myself.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on March 21, 2010, 04:40:49 PM
I wish there was a Team Barnabas Collins in this poll.  :(

Speaking of, wouldn't you kill to have this game at home today?    Although, I heard the game "sucks".

(http://byemylife.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/barnabascollins.jpg)

What do the pile of bones have to do with Dark Shadows?
The start of Adam (the "Frankenstein" plot in the original)?  Some of Angelique's witchcraft? One of the other vampires after they get the stake? One of the Undead that Gabriel rose near the end of the show?   ;)

They used up all their good ideas in their Haunted House and (http://Green Ghost) games...
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Jackster on March 21, 2010, 05:32:32 PM
Team Neither.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: djshire on March 21, 2010, 05:36:36 PM
Team Belmont

Killing Team Edward and Team Jacob since the 11th century
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on March 21, 2010, 05:42:21 PM
Yeah.....Team Van Helsing

(no, not the Hugh Jackman movie)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: djshire on March 21, 2010, 05:49:03 PM
Yeah.....Team Van Helsing

(no, not the Hugh Jackman movie)
I think you and me can work together on this
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: THE QUEEN!!! on March 21, 2010, 06:26:16 PM
Well if a gun was pointed at me I'd say Jacob because I've never been into pale, willowy, effeminate men I could crush with one hand, and really want to.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Thrifty on March 21, 2010, 06:40:00 PM
Jacob.  No contest.  Edward is a murdering, moody, jackass.  Jacob is also much hotter.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on March 21, 2010, 06:52:47 PM
Jacob is also much hotter.

And he can rebuild car engines.   :)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Darth Geek on March 21, 2010, 07:33:09 PM
After actually having seen the movie now...I guess Jacob treats her a little better, although once he actually becomes a werewolf he tries to shoo Bella away just like Edward did.

Although having seen her best choice of the humans, Mike, the whiny, third rate Shia LeBuef, who pusses out and throws up at action movies, I kind of understand her willing to put up with dealing with someone who may or may not rip her face off at any moment.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Lovye on March 21, 2010, 07:41:52 PM
After actually having seen the movie now...I guess Jacob treats her a little better, although once he actually becomes a werewolf he tries to shoo Bella away just like Edward did.

In Jacob's defense, he couldn't tell her because the current alpha male wouldn't permit it.  He LITTERALLY couldn't tell her ( ;D ).

Also, I think at the end, where he says step back, after talking to Edward, was to protect her so he wouldn't scratch her face like the Sam/Emily situation...

He really is attracted to her....though, not her really.....
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on March 21, 2010, 07:42:15 PM
After actually having seen the movie now...I guess Jacob treats her a little better, although once he actually becomes a werewolf he tries to shoo Bella away just like Edward did.

Although having seen her best choice of the humans, Mike, the whiny, third rate Shia LeBuef, who pusses out and throws up at action movies, I kind of understand her willing to put up with dealing with someone who may or may not rip her face off at any moment.

And god knows she's seen just so much of the world at her age - Phoenix and now Forks, OR - that she knows that all she'll ever have to chose from is this....    ;)

To borrow a riff from Are You Ready For Marriage: "College is going to change everything...!"
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: JimJ on March 21, 2010, 07:44:18 PM
Team Harpo!
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Darth Geek on March 21, 2010, 07:48:54 PM
After actually having seen the movie now...I guess Jacob treats her a little better, although once he actually becomes a werewolf he tries to shoo Bella away just like Edward did.

Although having seen her best choice of the humans, Mike, the whiny, third rate Shia LeBuef, who pusses out and throws up at action movies, I kind of understand her willing to put up with dealing with someone who may or may not rip her face off at any moment.

And god knows she's seen just so much of the world at her age - Phoenix and now Forks, OR - that she knows that all she'll ever have to chose from is this....    ;)

To borrow a riff from Are You Ready For Marriage: "College is going to change everything...!"
From her complexion, I don't think she even went outside in Phoenix, either.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: RVR II on March 21, 2010, 07:49:54 PM
Team RAD.. Oh wait ...
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on March 21, 2010, 07:51:09 PM
After actually having seen the movie now...I guess Jacob treats her a little better, although once he actually becomes a werewolf he tries to shoo Bella away just like Edward did.

Although having seen her best choice of the humans, Mike, the whiny, third rate Shia LeBuef, who pusses out and throws up at action movies, I kind of understand her willing to put up with dealing with someone who may or may not rip her face off at any moment.

And god knows she's seen just so much of the world at her age - Phoenix and now Forks, OR - that she knows that all she'll ever have to chose from is this....    ;)

To borrow a riff from Are You Ready For Marriage: "College is going to change everything...!"
From her complexion, I don't think she even went outside in Phoenix, either.

And how many guys her age are there in Arizona to start with?   ;)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Shoppingdingo on March 21, 2010, 08:03:09 PM
Im rooting for the stake
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Scribblesense on March 21, 2010, 08:06:44 PM
Team Washing Machine.

For a girl who seems to only be attracted to dangerous, borderline abusive men, I think it's really Bella's best option. Plus, she already has the personality and charisma of a household appliance so I think she'll fit right in.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Darth Geek on March 21, 2010, 08:09:29 PM
Team Washing Machine.

For a girl who seems to only be attracted to dangerous, borderline abusive men, I think it's really Bella's best option. Plus, she already has the personality and charisma of a household appliance so I think she'll fit right in.
I think that middle age biker guy treated her the best in the whole movie. He just let her get off the bike without causing any problems?
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: RobtheBarbarian on March 21, 2010, 08:11:00 PM
(http://img.printfection.com/1/425/8750325/P4DE6.jpg)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: iv3rdawG on March 22, 2010, 11:24:20 AM
Team Alice:

(http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/2039/aliceop.jpg)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: THE QUEEN!!! on March 22, 2010, 12:43:35 PM
I can't help thinking there would be more votes for Team Edward if it weren't for the first movie. :) I think we all got REALLY sick of him in that first movie and welcomed ANY change. This is why I loved that cheer after "You'll never see me again."
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: anais.jude on March 22, 2010, 01:06:33 PM
Team Washing Machine.

For a girl who seems to only be attracted to dangerous, borderline abusive men, I think it's really Bella's best option. Plus, she already has the personality and charisma of a household appliance so I think she'll fit right in.
I think that middle age biker guy treated her the best in the whole movie. He just let her get off the bike without causing any problems?

He was awfully polite
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: lordthree on March 22, 2010, 04:48:28 PM
(http://www.uploadthis.co.uk/uploads/lordthree/teamterl.png)
Go Team Terl! ...errr...
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on March 23, 2010, 05:29:06 PM
 :D

(http://i940.photobucket.com/albums/ad242/chimaera2009/Twilight/Art/Macros/44414033.png)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Bob on March 23, 2010, 05:52:29 PM
I belive in Team STFU Noob

(http://dreaphillips.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/stfu_noob.jpg)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Lemming Howard on March 24, 2010, 06:08:35 AM
(http://www.uploadthis.co.uk/uploads/lordthree/teamterl.png)
Go Team Terl! ...errr...



Is that gonna be the third movie?  First Vampires.  Next it's Werewolves and now Aliens.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: TTYT on March 24, 2010, 10:09:25 PM
If I absolutely HAD to choose...Team Victoria.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Darth Geek on March 25, 2010, 06:42:07 AM
If I absolutely HAD to choose...Team Victoria.
Yeah, she's a hot redhead who wants the other characters dead. TEAM VICTORIA!
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Halifirien on March 26, 2010, 07:14:50 PM
Definitely Team Jacob. It seems like in most fiction where a woman is torn (not literally) between a vampire and a werewolf, the werewolf is a lot hotter.

Unless it's a warwelf, in which case all bets are off.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: TTYT on March 26, 2010, 07:41:23 PM
If I absolutely HAD to choose...Team Victoria.
Yeah, she's a hot redhead who wants the other characters dead. TEAM VICTORIA!

I was thinking more a hot redhead who could bite Bella, turn her into a vampire, and make that emo bitch her sub-

...I've said too much.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Gran on March 28, 2010, 11:41:18 AM
I've made my choice.  I'm with Isaiah.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Cosmic Muse on March 29, 2010, 02:11:03 AM
I've changed my mind. I'm with Team Collins.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: RoninFox on March 29, 2010, 02:46:21 AM
Team Discovery Channel!

Wait, what are we talking about?
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on March 29, 2010, 06:49:45 PM
Unless it's a warwelf, in which case all bets are off.

Paul wasn't that bad...for a Andy Garcia wannabe.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: WhackyWookiee on March 29, 2010, 06:58:17 PM
I went with Jacob for the vote, but I'm really for team "Hottie Blonde Vampire Chick with the Big Butt."
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Ayriana22 on March 29, 2010, 08:43:39 PM
Team Interview with the Vampire.  Because it has actual vampires.
OR-Team Jacob.... but just for the abs, thank god he's 18 now.  ;)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Cosmic Muse on March 30, 2010, 06:50:24 AM
Team Interview with the Vampire.  Because it has actual vampires.
OR-Team Jacob.... but just for the abs, thank god he's 18 now.  ;)

He is? Well, then I won't feel so dirty staring at his abs in Eclipse when it's riffed.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Courtney on March 30, 2010, 07:22:25 AM
Team Interview with the Vampire.  Because it has actual vampires.
OR-Team Jacob.... but just for the abs, thank god he's 18 now.  ;)

He is? Well, then I won't feel so dirty staring at his abs in Eclipse when it's riffed.

I stare at his abs in quizzical horror. They SHOULDN'T look like that. He's just a boy!  And they looked like that when he was an even younger boy!

(http://www.accesshollywood.com/content/images/98/230x306/98374_a-young-taylor-lautner-shows-off-his-abs-at-the-premiere-of-sahara-in-la-in-2005.jpg)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on March 30, 2010, 07:45:30 AM
I went with Jacob for the vote, but I'm really for team "Hottie Blonde Vampire Chick with the Big Butt."

You mean the one who is always pissing and moaning about everything?  And looking at Bella like she wants her to die?

I'm kind of getting to like her......
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Courtney on March 30, 2010, 08:09:25 AM
Team Harpo!

Oh, and QFT right here. Jasper is where it's at.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Cosmic Muse on March 30, 2010, 09:13:15 AM
Team Harpo!

Oh, and QFT right here. Jasper is where it's at.

I don't think JimJ was referring to Jasper. I think he was referring to Harpo Marx.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Kolben on April 07, 2010, 06:08:10 PM
Team Dracula..."Dead and Loving It"
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: ManUnderMask on April 08, 2010, 08:05:04 AM
I'm with Captain America... oh wait, wrong teams... oh who cares, Cap would kill the entire cast with one throw of his mighty shield... AND I'd actually pay money in order to see it and be proud of myself for doing so.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Darth Geek on April 08, 2010, 10:20:39 AM
I'm with Captain America... oh wait, wrong teams... oh who cares, Cap would kill the entire cast with one throw of his mighty shield... AND I'd actually pay money in order to see it and be proud of myself for doing so.
Heck, Don Knotts could off this entire cast! And I would pay to see that.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Doctor Who? on April 08, 2010, 12:24:14 PM
I'm with Captain America... oh wait, wrong teams... oh who cares, Cap would kill the entire cast with one throw of his mighty shield... AND I'd actually pay money in order to see it and be proud of myself for doing so.
Heck, Don Knotts could off this entire cast! And I would pay to see that.

 :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

I would then  rank it as one of the ten best movies of the year!
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: ShadowDog on April 08, 2010, 01:22:32 PM
You mean the one who is always pissing and moaning about everything? 

Isn't that everybody in this movie?
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Scribblesense on April 09, 2010, 12:42:11 PM
You mean the one who is always pissing and moaning about everything? 

Isn't that everybody in this movie?

Charlie (Bella's mustachioed bachelor father) isn't pissing and moaning. He drinks his troubles away like a real man should.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Tony Farms AKA Puma Man on April 10, 2010, 05:02:48 AM
Man, that's a tough one.

All of Jacob's thinly veiled 'it's not a lifestyle choice' stuff tells me he would have a Larry Craig bathroom stall moment in the near future.

And Edward watches Bella while she sleeps and I assume probably when she takes a shit too.

"NO! Front to back, Bella, front to back!"

Let's go with Mike the sissy.



Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: TeamRAD on April 13, 2010, 11:37:21 AM

(http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u154/craigcrusade/TAlice.jpg)

Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Compound on April 13, 2010, 11:49:28 AM
Team Edward, I guess.

(http://cache0.bigcartel.com/product_images/19941131/hijinks-ensue-team-edward-james-olmos-shirt-1.png)

Let me know when Jacob gets nukes.
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Lazarus Dark on April 16, 2010, 05:20:45 PM
I didn't get this Team stuff until watching the NM riff.

But honestly, five minutes in, I was actually rooting for Jacob. I mean, besides wanting to be Bella's doormat... he's the only half-likeable character. Of course, it's not like he's got much competition. Really though, I wasn't rooting for Jacob to get with Bella. I was rooting for him to wake the F up, stake Edward and go find a WORTHY woman.

Now I'm a straight dude, and married at that... but Jacob had an pretty good Swayziness going on for most of the movie. He looks pretty good, smooth tannish skin and all, especially after loosing the hair (though it was pretty hair-metal awesome). ... And then you see Edward with his shirt off in Italy, and I nearly puked! Oh, GOD, what a pasty, skinny, ugly Brit. UGH. And... What the crap is wrong with his nipple??? Did anyone else see that? (my wife saw it too) Is he decaying??
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck on April 20, 2010, 09:05:47 AM
Team Samson

(http://www.cupandblade.com/store/catalog/images/0624%20Samson%20Vs%20The%20Vampire%20Women.JPG)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Johnny Unusual on May 13, 2010, 06:05:17 PM
I can't decide.  Team Willow or Team Spike.

(http://thisrecording.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/willow_rosenberg.jpg)

(http://images.buddytv.com/battleImages/usr600013385/600013385_c7cdccff-08a8-46ee-b0ae-eb77d75a029d-spike.jpg)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Darth Geek on May 13, 2010, 06:08:10 PM

(http://thisrecording.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/willow_rosenberg.jpg)


(http://www.blissfitness.me.uk/assets/images/Heart.gif)
Title: Re: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
Post by: Ayriana22 on May 26, 2010, 08:56:06 PM
I can't decide.  Team Willow or Team Spike.

(http://thisrecording.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/willow_rosenberg.jpg)

(http://images.buddytv.com/battleImages/usr600013385/600013385_c7cdccff-08a8-46ee-b0ae-eb77d75a029d-spike.jpg)

How about Team me sammiched between the two? :D