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Members Hub => Board Games for the Bored => Topic started by: daltysmilth on December 14, 2008, 03:41:22 PM

Title: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: daltysmilth on December 14, 2008, 03:41:22 PM
I'd say the title is pretty damn self-explanatory, just come up with something that people would use whether it was advertised or not, and advertise it.  I'll start:

Looking for something to inhale and exhale into your lungs?  Why not try Oxygen?  (Patent Pending)  Oxygen is the gas that allows you to breathe comfortably, with none of the destructive effects of the other gases.  And now Oxygen comes mixed with trace amounts of nitrogen, for that fresh taste the kids will love!  Oxygen: For A Breath Of Fresh Air.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Chaos on December 14, 2008, 04:34:25 PM
I've always felt that there is no point advertising things like Pepsi and Coke. Does anybody NOT know what they are? The commercials don't make any sense anyway, and do absolutely nothing to try to convince us their product is superior.

Frankly, I think Lewis Black was right on this one. They should just mail people coupons that say, "Here's ten dollars... try our shit."
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: RoninFox on December 14, 2008, 04:45:11 PM
Food.  Hard to eat with your hands?  Try our newly redesigned FORK tm.  SPOON sold separately.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: bratpop on December 14, 2008, 05:18:46 PM
There's already enough of these in real life.

Cellphones. Who are YOU that you're soooo important you need to talk to people ALL the time without a tether? You make me sick. Put the phone down, loser.

Diamond stores. Oh, we're so rich we have to buy someone a diamond every SINGLE time we kiss them, but we can't hire someone to open a phone book for us?

Walmart and Target. What cheap, middle America redneck, Mexican, Native American, or outpatient doesn't already shop at these stores? You think people are going to Macy's saying, "Where are all the deals???"

Cars. Who the hell buys a car based on a single commercial? Who can tell them apart or remember any of them? Who knows what "options" they're showing when they show the OUTSIDE of the car? (Paint?) There's only a couple that say they're better than another car, and it's always a lie, and compared to something like a BMW. Pull the other one.

Jeans. Seriously, who has a preference of one jean over another? And are we retarded monkeys from the 1950s, easily fooled by pictures of people having "fun" or promiscuous underage unsafe sex in dangerous places while wearing jeans? I've never worn anything but jeans, and when I'm buying them, I'm not stopping to think whether the brand I'm holding was the one advertised with cool dudes or the one showing smut.

Here's my ad for something that apparently doesn't need to be advertised:

Books. You read them and words go into your brain. Books! They make you more less dumberer.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: darkchashy on December 14, 2008, 06:38:40 PM
Do you have a butt? have you ever been interested in owning one? Hi I'm Billy mays and today I'm going to tell you of some of the many uses...
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: dignan on December 15, 2008, 08:35:11 AM
Do you have a butt? have you ever been interested in owning one? Hi I'm Billy mays and today I'm going to tell you of some of the many uses...

That really should be "HI I'M BILLY MAYS AND TODAY I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOME OF THE MANY USES..."
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Sideswipe on December 15, 2008, 08:40:59 AM
I always thought shit like toilet paper and tampons don't need to be advertised.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: pezdrake on December 15, 2008, 08:55:35 AM
When regular drinking water started being bottled and advertised I lost all hope.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Chaos on December 15, 2008, 09:38:56 AM
Are you tired of your house smelling like shit? Does emptying chamber pots make you wish you were dead? Well, try new TOILETS!! From the makers of Outhouse.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Darth Geek on December 15, 2008, 05:32:57 PM
Did you just eat a big meal? Do you feel bloated, backed up and gassy? Try FARTING. It's funny, offensive, rude, and a good conversation starter. Whether in an elevator or just sitting around with your obnoxious relatives, FARTING will make you stand out and be noticed. Sure there's the odor issue, but if you are just juvenile enough, that will make it all the funnier. FARTING it's the new BURPING. Try it, TODAY.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: jasimon1 on December 15, 2008, 05:45:47 PM
I always thought shit like toilet paper and tampons don't need to be advertised.

Oh you're ever so wrong. I'm in Market Research and basically my job consists of getting people's opinions on different ways of advertising a certain brand of toilet paper and paper towels. For a little excitement right now, I'm doing a garbage bag study!! :D
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Sideswipe on December 15, 2008, 05:50:02 PM
Live the Dream Sicgirl
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: mrbasehart on December 15, 2008, 05:53:53 PM
I always thought shit like toilet paper and tampons don't need to be advertised.

Oh you're ever so wrong. I'm in Market Research and basically my job consists of getting people's opinions on different ways of advertising a certain brand of toilet paper and paper towels. For a little excitement right now, I'm doing a garbage bag study!! :D

If you're the one responsible for making it so that a Hippo and an Ostrich can be married to each other and have kids of BOTH species, then I reserve the right to slap you. 
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: jasimon1 on December 15, 2008, 06:57:17 PM
I always thought shit like toilet paper and tampons don't need to be advertised.

Oh you're ever so wrong. I'm in Market Research and basically my job consists of getting people's opinions on different ways of advertising a certain brand of toilet paper and paper towels. For a little excitement right now, I'm doing a garbage bag study!! :D

If you're the one responsible for making it so that a Hippo and an Ostrich can be married to each other and have kids of BOTH species, then I reserve the right to slap you. 

No, I help decide how the red and blue bears rub their butts against trees.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Doctor Who? on December 15, 2008, 07:10:17 PM
DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: AmandaGal on December 15, 2008, 09:22:18 PM
I have a friend who was an engineer for a popular tampon/toilet paper company.  Boy can he tell you some BORING stats about how you do, in fact, need to advertise your toilet paper and/or tampon.  He can also tell you about the history of toilet papers and tampons.  It's some interes...no, wait. It's not.

Anyway, in the same vein, here's mine:

[woman romping through field of flowers]
Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling?  How do you deal with it? Women everywhere are turning to baths to make them feel refreshed, renewed and ready to face the world.

Baths. Try one today.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Steve-O on December 15, 2008, 10:08:06 PM
Baths. Try one today.

As a long-time geek and someone who works in the computer industry, I can assure you that this is something that needs to be advertised.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: daltysmilth on December 15, 2008, 10:12:31 PM
Are you bothered by excess liquids in your bladder?  Why not try urination?  Urination is the method doctors prefer for the elimination of unwanted bladder fluids.  Urination: it's number one.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: AmandaGal on December 16, 2008, 01:29:37 AM
Baths. Try one today.

As a long-time geek and someone who works in the computer industry, I can assure you that this is something that needs to be advertised.

I went to a nerdy con once and realized that deodorant needs to be advertised.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: malkavman on December 16, 2008, 02:48:44 AM
Are you tired of running out of air? Then try TREES! From the makers of plants and grass. Trees; they won't make you kill yourself, no matter what M. Night Sha-na-na says.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Chaos on December 16, 2008, 09:07:08 AM
Urination: it's number one.

Very clever. :D
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Doctor Who? on December 16, 2008, 09:10:43 AM
Tired of flying off into space and dieing?

Try gravity!

Gravity will keep your feet on the earth for hours on end of non dieing fun!
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: Chaos on December 16, 2008, 09:13:31 AM
Are you tired of being alive, but too chicken to die? Try a COMA today! Endless hours of non-fatal fun for the whole family.
Title: Re: Write Advertisements For Things That Don't Need To Be Advertised
Post by: LucasM on December 21, 2008, 09:17:34 PM
OK... I didn't come up with this, I just had it.

It describes how INCREDIBLY versatile a particular word is, and suggests, very politely, using 'the F word' more frequently.

F-word.wav: http://www.sendspace.com/file/u4445k (http://www.sendspace.com/file/u4445k)

Obviously, if you have a problem with the word, don't download the wav file.  ;)