I was wrong about the Asylum

[Russell]

I made a comment a few weeks ago saying that cheap rip-off movie studio The Asylum was the same as Hollywood. I was wrong. They are way, way worse. When it comes to the writing in their movies I can come up with only one of two conclusions. Either they don't have a script and they have the actors improvise every single line... or... that's it. That's actually it, there isn't a number 2 conclusion. At least when Hollywood writes a movie they write a script and don't have the actors improvise all the time. That isn't to say Hollywood hasn't turned out some of the worst scripts ever written, but once you've watched a movie made by the Asylum... ANY movie made by them, you'll see what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about the kinds of lines that would make you laugh like in Plan 9, I mean lines that are so bad they just confuse you so much you'll actually wonder if you're still conscious and alive.

[Darth Geek]

I do think that they must have scripts, because even improvised dialog would come off more naturally than the nonsense dialog they usually have.

[Russell]

I do think that they must have scripts, because even improvised dialog would come off more naturally than the nonsense dialog they usually have.

You do have a point, but I think we may never know for sure.

[Darth Geek]

I do think that they must have scripts, because even improvised dialog would come off more naturally than the nonsense dialog they usually have.

You do have a point, but I think we may never know for sure.

A script scribbled on a napkin over lunch is still a script.

Actually, that is what pisses me off the most about Asylum (and other low budget studios) movies. Writing is the one thing that doesn't cost anything except time. If they got better writers and gave them more time to develop a better script and actually do something interesting with some of their movies' premises, then I would be happy to overlook the low budget.

[Russell]

A script scribbled on a napkin over lunch is still a script.

You got me there. So I guess most of their movies did have a script then.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I do think that they must have scripts, because even improvised dialog would come off more naturally than the nonsense dialog they usually have.

You do have a point, but I think we may never know for sure.

A script scribbled on a napkin over lunch is still a script.

Actually, that is what pisses me off the most about Asylum (and other low budget studios) movies. Writing is the one thing that doesn't cost anything except time. If they got better writers and gave them more time to develop a better script and actually do something interesting with some of their movies' premises, then I would be happy to overlook the low budget.

Besides, they'd probably be amazed how many people who can write would work on their scrips for peanuts just so they can then get into the Writer's Guild....

PS - I Am Omega starring The Chairman from "Iron Chef America" was decent.

[electronsexparty]

I do think that they must have scripts, because even improvised dialog would come off more naturally than the nonsense dialog they usually have.

Yes, this exactly. They have some of the most head-scratchingly strange dialog I've ever heard. The line I always recall because it confuses and irritates me so much to this day is from The Da Vinci Treasure. Lance Henrikson all of a sudden randomly says something like "She's tight in the middle like a wasp and deep in the ass like a horse." I mean, I can venture a guess to what he's talking about, but who says things out of the blue like that? 

[Russell]

Yes, this exactly. They have some of the most head-scratchingly strange dialog I've ever heard. The line I always recall because it confuses and irritates me so much to this day is from The Da Vinci Treasure. Lance Henrikson all of a sudden randomly says something like "She's tight in the middle like a wasp and deep in the ass like a horse." I mean, I can venture a guess to what he's talking about, but who says things out of the blue like that? 

I think one of the most confusing lines I've heard is in the movie "Transmorphers" where these three bimbos come out of nowhere and one of them says "we are the stuffed men".....

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I've seen movies like that were it turned out (after a director's cut was released) that it had to do with continuity problems after scenes were cut more than bad lines....

Although that wasp/horse thing...I can't imagine how a missing scene would make up for that.   

[Russell]

I know what you're saying, but still "We are the stuffed men"?! Can someone please explain how that remotely makes any sense?

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

I know what you're saying, but still "We are the stuffed men"?! Can someone please explain how that remotely makes any sense?

Ummm....maybe there was a "scarecrow" scene like in Planet of the Apes?  I don't know what lead to her saying that line.  Haven't seen that movie (outside of the review on "Bad Movie Beatdown").

[mrbasehart]

The script/time thing.  I agree that they could always use more work, but Asylum probably needs to turn these movies around pretty quickly in order to get maximum profit and ride the coattails of the bigger movies.  They become less and less relevant the farther away from the original movies' release date and thus probably take in less money. 

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

The script/time thing.  I agree that they could always use more work, but Asylum probably needs to turn these movies around pretty quickly in order to get maximum profit and ride the coattails of the bigger movies.  They become less and less relevant the farther away from the original movies' release date and thus probably take in less money. 

But what gets me is that you consider the amount of time between when a big budget movie is announced and when it's released - or just the time that it starts filming.  When you think that since these are made on the cheap - things aren't fabricated just for the project, etc. - that they could do these productions in just the time a big budget film would do principle filming.

For instance, this Seth Rogan abortion version of The Green Hornet.  He was talking about it back at Comic Con and earlier, has been filming for quite awhile now and still is. Then it will have to have effects added (by companies that have other projects waiting), original music done and then press junkets and doing the talk show rounds......would think a company like The Asylum could have something decent finished easily in that amount of time.

[Darth Geek]

The script/time thing.  I agree that they could always use more work, but Asylum probably needs to turn these movies around pretty quickly in order to get maximum profit and ride the coattails of the bigger movies.  They become less and less relevant the farther away from the original movies' release date and thus probably take in less money. 

But what gets me is that you consider the amount of time between when a big budget movie is announced and when it's released - or just the time that it starts filming.  When you think that since these are made on the cheap - things aren't fabricated just for the project, etc. - that they could do these productions in just the time a big budget film would do principle filming.

For instance, this Seth Rogan abortion version of The Green Hornet.  He was talking about it back at Comic Con and earlier, has been filming for quite awhile now and still is. Then it will have to have effects added (by companies that have other projects waiting), original music done and then press junkets and doing the talk show rounds......would think a company like The Asylum could have something decent finished easily in that amount of time.

Also, given how little the final movie often has to do with the movie they are ripping off, doing something creative  might actually make it better than the blockbuster. It takes Asylum less time to film and post on their films, so if they start the writing process when the blockbuster is announced, they would have MORE time to write.

[Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck]

....doing something creative  might actually make it better than the blockbuster.

As I Am Omega is more a satisfying film in some ways than is I Am Legend.  And it's no less "messing with Matheson's story" than was The Last Man on Earth or The Omega Man...

And whichever studio remade The Day The Earth Stood Still had the nerve to sue The Asylum for ripping them off when you consider how much of "bait and switch" the new movie was....