Favorite lines?

[Thrifty]

I just started watching it, so I can't say yet.

[Thrifty]

Sir, the captain has asked that you please stop foreshadowing.

I sure am shortsighted about everything.  Now hand me those shares of AT&T, I'd like to blow my nose on them.

Movie: "He imagined a steamer"
Bill: "Made in Cleveland."

Kibbles and bits....

Wow.  Next year I'll be in the 5th grade.  I'm a big boy.

Mike and Kevin's riffs about the tragedies that claimed millions of lives in the next few decades.

Movie: "You ever been to Wisconsin?"
Mike: "Because if you kill yourself and go to Hell, it's kind of like that."

Wouldn't it be great if Sharktopus jumped up and ate them both right now?

Can I pencil you in for a 3:00 thanking?

You drew the turtle and the pirate quite well.

Movie: "Here comes that vulgar Brown woman."
Kevin: "You mean Wanda Sykes?"

Gope nobody brings up Growing Pains.

Probably one of those dot-dash millionaires.

He said he threw up in your beer.

I'm having a great time.  I could drown tommorrow and I wouldn't even care!

[Thrifty]

Rose: "When we arrive in America, I'm getting off with you."
Bill: "Because I sure didn't the first time."

Also, the slam on Fort Worth around 2:56:00

[Trekker4747]

"Look, there actually is a guy re-arranging deck chairs!"

Rose (pointing out royals on the ship): That's John Jacob Astor -the richest man on the ship!"
Kevin: His mother was an Jingleheimer-Schmidt.

[The Elusive Robert Denby]

When Jack is doing his "King of the Worrrrrld!" thing standing right overtop Fabrizio at the front of the ship:  "I guess the 1912 Anti-Public Sodomy law wasn't in effect on the Titanic"

And the whole conversation with the porpoises made me laugh:  "Death to the Titanic!"  "Death to the Titanic!"  "Death to the Titanic!"

"Your name, Miss?"  "Dawson.  Rose Dawson."  (Thank goodness, a name I don't have to de-Jewify."

[PlayMSTie]

"When does the stupid hat parade begin?"

"I'm twelve."

"He is fiveshadowing!"

Bill's old-lady version of "Unchained Melody."

The whole lead-up to "I'm king of the world!" Deflated that moment quite nicely. 

"I'm effeminately delighted!"

[ShadowDog]

So many great lines, including the epic one.  But the lines that really surprised me were how much mileage they got out of the stupid hats.  I barely even noticed the hats the couple times I saw this movie before but they're right, they were deeply stupid.  LMFAO

[dignan]

"The Zane-train has arrived."

[The Elusive Robert Denby]

Partway through a second viewing - I keep forgetting all the good lines because the movie is so long!

Hard to believe they could make me laugh during the scenes when the deck is starting to tilt and the band keeps playing to cheer everyone up, but "And now, for the children, from "The Little Mermaid" -  'Under the Sea'!" just put me in hysterics.

I also liked the "crowd noises" as they switched from the First Class men in the smoking room to the Third Class men at the party in steerage.  "Stocks, stocks, bonds, politics, money, politics, bonds..."

Oh, and even before the credits were through, they got off some good ones:  "Have a nice sepia-coloured trip!" and "Goodbye, honey - we'll make all those changes to my will as soon as I get back!"

"This guy went to the Penn Jillette School of Acting."

Irish voice:  "Well, where do you want all these inflatable life rafts?"
Loud, bossy voice:  "Don't need 'em."
"Are you sure?  They're the very latest in safety..."
"Said we don't need 'em - not enough room, anyway."
"But. but they're collapsible!  They take very little room, and I have enough for every single passenger, right here on the truck..."
"Ah, buzz off!  Can't you see we need room to load Chitty Chitty Bang Bang here?"
"Take  HALF the life rafts then..."
"Then where are we gonna put all these cases of  oysters and champagne?  Please go away."
"Bollocks."

When Andrews was adjusting the hands of the clock:  "I'm gonna set this to 4:20, in case a pothead leads the salvage expedition:  it'll blow his mind!"

[Thrifty]

Oh yeah, the way the characters referred to the life vests as "life belts" and the guys made fun of that fact.

[Rattrap007]

I regret nothing! What he said. What they said.. I regret a few things!

This film is so long it is hard to remember them..

[Maverick Joe Six-Pack]

Let me show you some pictures of me cats

[RoninFox]

Every time they started up the clown music for Rose's mom was awesome.

"A lot of people made pacts with Satan last night"  "it's a trend"

I can't remember the exact line, but turning "I put the diamond into the coat" into the begining of a rabbi in a bar joke.

Dear God, I thought DisembAudio was going to kill himself (itself) hitting those high notes at the end.

And of course "I'm going to sink this bitch" 

Far too many more to remember right now.

[Lovye]

"Oh, my love, my darling, I long for your touch."   

"It was NOT a very good year."

"I was a chubby teen then, now I am a stone cold fox."

"WRONG!  Jack Germando!"

"Does a yjack a beat a shing?"

"Monica Belluci!"

"Sexy time high five it's nice."

"The death of Theodore Tugboat."

"Unlike those supersillious lessons which have paid for themselves."

1s & 0s comment through Sims comment

"A young Phyllis Diller."

"Billy are you inZane?"  XD

"You have a fat laugh."

WWI - Just jump dialogue

Pants in the water

"So it's like being married to OJ Simpson."   

"I was saving hump...her."

"I'm off to menace Colonel Hogan now."

"Originally it was called, 'le poules de la mer' or the 'chicken of the sea.'"  XD XD XD

"Stupid universe!"

"Like a giant radio active mantis."

"Hey, it's that twirp from Growing Pains."

"Nice keister, Astor." 

"All WASPy and evil."

"To Martini & Rossi!"

"JEEEEEEEED!"

...Tetly's Tea....

"Very nice.  Very Lutheran."

"You are a noob and we are 1337."

"This is before spinning tops went cordless."

"Uh-oh.  She's Keanuing."


"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  My G**!!  Get me down!"


"Which reminds me, I need to clean my toilet."

[Lovye]

"Now, make sure you're using water-resistant graphite, the good stuff I mean, kind that can withstand, oh, 85 years at the bottom of the ocean without any noticible decay.  And I sure hope that paper is rated for sustained saltwater exposure, too, or aren't you taking any of this seriously?"

"And this is the GUEST bedroom in case any GUESTS join us at sea."

Movie:  Put your hands on me, Jack.
Mike:  Where?
Bill:  Here, dammit!
*Leo cops a feel*
Mike, dumbly: Oh.

"Turn the dial to, 'don't hit iceberg!'"

"Ladies & Gentlemen, tonight's wet t-shirt contest will be moved out to the ocean."

"Good thing they're doing the instrumental version of this because the lyrics are, 'Oh my G**, Oh my G**!  We're all going to drown!"

"Elevator Operator!  You must die because of my teenage crush."

Three.  Stooges.

"I mean, what the hell, we have plenty of time."

"I am in love so all my decisions are wise and unerring."

"Funny a lot of the children on the lifeboats have full beards."

"Oh right.  I was supposed to make it rain."

"P-P-P-Poker Face."

"Yeah, you wouldn't want those four able bodied musicians to drop what they're doing to help out, would you?"

"Beat it if you're lonely or unphotogenic."

"I regret....hitting the propeller. WOW, that hurt!"

"Hey, check it out: Plinko!"

"Kick at your hand and don't let you reach the surface.  Got it."

"'Carpathia,' because what better thing is there to name a ship after than the mountians surrounding Transylvania?"

"Wonder if Paxon wants to recreate the drawing."

"Well, I guess the moral of this story is: die before somebody really gets to know you."

There are MANY MANY more.  These are a limit.  It was non-stop.