bettertomorrowamy
Mr Bungle
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Posts: 13378
Phonetic Pronunciation: kahnt
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« Reply #180 on: November 18, 2009, 06:51:38 PM » |
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Seriously though, I would like to see a stage version of his book. He is entertaining in a train wreck kind of way.
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Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck
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« Reply #181 on: November 18, 2009, 07:04:28 PM » |
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... I can't believe it took five posts.  -Rude Hey...when you've got something else... |
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Dim of the Yard
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« Reply #182 on: November 18, 2009, 08:53:16 PM » |
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... I can't believe it took five posts. -Rude Does that mean that we're the ones having the argument with Glenn Beck? |
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Darth Geek
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« Reply #183 on: November 18, 2009, 09:00:14 PM » |
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... I can't believe it took five posts. -Rude Does that mean that we're the ones having the argument with Glenn Beck? We'd be arguing with an idiot, so...yeah. |
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Why would you do that? - Zim Because it's cool. - Martian "My race is pacifist and does not believe in war. We only kill out of personal spite." - Brain Guy Chomp on, little dude!
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Imrahil
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« Reply #184 on: November 18, 2009, 09:13:49 PM » |
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Strikes me that the idiots are the ones buying his book. He's the one laughing all the way to the bank--can't be that dumb.
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Thrifty
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« Reply #185 on: November 19, 2009, 04:58:42 AM » |
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Strikes me that the idiots are the ones buying his book. He's the one laughing all the way to the bank--can't be that dumb. I don't think that's possible. Nobody is actually an idiot. Everyone else is always an idiot. |
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Thrifty
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« Reply #186 on: November 19, 2009, 04:59:22 AM » |
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... I can't believe it took five posts. -Rude Does that mean that we're the ones having the argument with Glenn Beck? We'd be arguing with an idiot, so...yeah. Guys, maybe we should stop talking about this. The thread is preparing to collapse in on itself. |
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Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck
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« Reply #187 on: November 24, 2009, 07:27:49 AM » |
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The Glenn Beck Show Generator!
Give it a try yourself. Just follow the simple multiple choice format below.
************************************
Open & Welcome: Glenn says hello, thanks everyone for watching and spends a few minutes...
1. Repeatedly asking the director to zoom in on his face while he screams about how the United States is on the "road to socialism."
2. Misappropriating the works of Ayn Rand.
3. Adjusting himself in his seat and creepily stroking his nipples while making faces which would indicate that he's taking no small amount of pleasure in it.
Glenn then welcomes his first guest (who agrees with everything he says):
1. Dennis Miller
2. Art Bell
3. His psychiatrist
Followed by a second guest (who disagrees with everything he says):
1. Dennis Kucinich
2. Al Sharpton
3. Shepard Smith
Glenn points his doughy finger and tells the guest he's/she's...
1. An enemy of the state.
2. A "scumbag."
3. Melting right before his eyes.
Then, apropos of nothing, he compares Barack Obama to...
1. Hitler.
2. The 9/11 families -- whom he still hates.
3. Troy Sullivan, the kid who lived up the block from him as a child and would come by when no one was home and make him dress up in his sister's clothes for "afternoon tea," although there was never any tea -- just pain, so much pain.
...And blames him for...
1. ABC's decision to cancel Twin Peaks.
2. His erectile dysfunction.
3. Everything.
Glenn then boasts about...
1. The overwhelming public response to that ridiculous "912 Project" initiative.
2. The numbers his show is pulling down at Fox, particularly in comparison to what he was getting at CNN.
3. What a friend he has in Jesus.
...And introduces a brand new segment of the show with the obligatorily muscular sounding name:
1. "The War Chest"
2. "The Men's Room"
3. "The Tool Box"
The goal of which is to...
1. Map out various apocalyptic scenarios since the inauguration of Barack Obama, as a service to America's paranoid survivalist sociopath community.
2. Prove that the moon landing was a hoax.
3. Impress Sarah Palin.
Next, once again apropos of nothing, he blurts out something random and completely irrational, like...
1. "There it is! Do you hear that? Don't tell me you can't hear that!"
2. "We surround them!"
3. "The government!"
...And claims that _____ is _____:
1. FEMA/constructing internment camps for America's dwarf population
2. global warming/bullshit
3. he/so fucking high
He then begins to cry uncontrollably because, in his personal life...
1. His wife Tania is finally divorcing him.
2. His AA sponsor committed suicide.
3. The hemorrhoids are back.
Finally, he composes himself, smirks, chuckles, and reminds viewers that...
1. He's so fucking high.
2. Due to a tachyon bombardment created by Ozymandias, he doesn't, in fact, have the ability to see the future.
3. It's all an act to get ratings.
Glenn thanks his sponsor...
1. Entenmann's
2. Supercuts
3. Zoloft
And plugs his...
1. Book.
2. Radio show.
3. Ears against the voices.
Close & Goodnight: Glenn says, "Thanks so much for joining us tonight, and remember to tune in to the show tomorrow for..."
1. "Day 1,113 of my sanity held hostage."
2. "My exclusive interview with an angry chimpanzee dressed as Lyndon LaRouche."
3. "The end of days."
Toss to Special Report with Bret Baier, go home and sleep it off.
(original author Chez Pazienza)
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Imrahil
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« Reply #188 on: November 24, 2009, 07:51:20 AM » |
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Pretty funny. The best part was the Watchmen reference.
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Plastic Self-Cleaning Duck
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« Reply #190 on: December 23, 2009, 07:34:05 AM » |
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BTW....this piece of crap once asked his listeners to buy him a car, one dollar at a time.... And not just any car...a Mercedes S600...he even has it picked out with the extras. Hmmm....been six years plus...wonder if he ever got it? And if not, what happened to the money he did get? And did he claim it on his taxes? |
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jewishcarpenter
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« Reply #191 on: February 14, 2010, 05:23:27 PM » |
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If there was one thing I got tired of the second time around it was the "Hitler's Reaction To..." meme. With reluctance I decided to watch this one and was pretty entertained. <![CDATA[<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/ySfEZlpN2OE&hl=en_US&fs=1&" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/ySfEZlpN2OE&hl=en_US&fs=1&</a>]]> |
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D.B. Barnes
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« Reply #192 on: February 14, 2010, 07:09:45 PM » |
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I love these Hitler videos. Hmm, that doesn't sound right does it? "the hydrocodone addict with the cigar..." |
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a pretty girl is like
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« Reply #193 on: February 14, 2010, 07:14:51 PM » |
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I love these Hitler videos. Hmm, that doesn't sound right does it? "the hydrocodone addict with the cigar..." Same here. I can't get enough Hitler! |
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I'm all out for kicks...and every inch of me spells EXCITEMENT!
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