If you didn't learn anything, don't worry about it.

[Moleman]

I learned that "Oh, hi" is the proper way to great others.
I learned that sitting in a chair in a room all day can be boring.
I learned that San Francisco doesn't have locks on their apartments.
I learned that 3 different people can come into an apartment within 2 seconds of eachother and not notice eachother.
I learned that a room can be cleared and entered again on command.
I learned that nobody actual gets presents when its their birthday.
I learned that having two different shots of the palace of fine arts doesn't make your movie good.
I learned that playing football on a roof is totally safe.
I learned that if you owe money and you stop a guy coming after you with a gun, they won't send another guy.

[Indomitus]

Haven't watched it yet but I just learned on Amazon that you can get the soundtrack on CD.  Hmmm...  Nah, I'll just put that one on my wishlist.  Don't want to overload on The Room's sheer awesomeness.

I have also learned that you can create a workable title/logo/cover for your DVD these days using Print Shop and an Apple IIe.

I'm sure I'll learn SO much more when I actually watch it.

[MSTJedi]

Haven't watched it yet but I just learned on Amazon that you can get the soundtrack on CD.  Hmmm...  Nah, I'll just put that one on my wishlist.  Don't want to overload on The Room's sheer awesomeness.

I have also learned that you can create a workable title/logo/cover for your DVD these days using Print Shop and an Apple IIe.

I'm sure I'll learn SO much more when I actually watch it.

Most of all you'll learn pain. Lots and lots of pain.

So . . . much . . . pain!

[Piobman]

I learned that playing catch football five feet away from each other will cause injury every time. And if you play catch football at long distances it causes men to frolic on the ground.

Dinny/Donny is "In Love" with everyone.

Happy Birthday is no longer under copyright.

Bed sheets have a repulsion to nudity and are incapable of covering Wisseau's ass during sex.

Time is irrelevant in this movie.

[LucasM]

I've learned that kissing one's finger and touching the nose of one's child is the highest form of affection that a parent can bestow on that child.

I've learned that 'true love' can blossom with a mild acquaintance simply by having sex with them two or three times, even if you apparently have no connection other than being either a friend or fiancee of Tommy.

I've learned that Lisa is so beautiful and sexy that she is unable to be resisted if she initiates sex with an unwilling partner.

I've learned that seemingly random people can (and do) walk into your apartment and begin having sex in it while you are out.

I've learned that chocolates are an instant-onset aphrodisiac.

I've learned that in an 'affair' only the woman is responsible for any consequences (such as someone's suicide).

I've learned that Tommy "is very fragile" and that "learning of Lisa's betrayal would destroy him".  [I've learned that Whazoo Wiseau takes the speech-giving adage, "tell your audience what you are going to show them, then show them, then tell them what you showed them," into the wrong venue, probably thinking it is 'foreshadowing'.]

I've learned that Sharpei's aren't the only animal with too much skin.

I've learned that 99 minutes can sometimes be stretched to feel like days without the use of drugs.

I've learned that if you are rich enough, you can make pretty much anything you want, and people will actually pay you to subject themselves to exposure to it, despite what you produce being neurotoxic.

[Thrifty]

Happy Birthday is no longer under copyright.

Well,  you know, Wisseau apparently had a prominent billboard up on a heavy traffic street in southern California for about 6 years.  I can see him being able to license Happy Birthday.  Though somehow I also can't imagine him knowing it was under copyright.

[Courtney]

Also learned (because the lessons just keep on coming):

Mark is beautiful.  It's sad that his beauty was wasted on this movie.  (I guess they needed someone with beauty comparable to Lisa's.)

Pretzels = classy birthday party food.

The psychologist friend may be a shapeshifter.

And once Bob pointed it out and I actually opened my eyes and looked at the screen, I learned that Johnny believes Lisa's vagina may be in her upper left hip.  Ugh.

[Bob]

I learned that in Los Angeles San Francisco, this is not considered beautiful:



but annoying bitchy teenagers with eyebrows bigger than a soviet dictator are considered more beautiful than Helen of Troy.

[MSTJedi]

I learned that in Los Angeles San Francisco, this is not considered beautiful:



but annoying bitchy teenagers with eyebrows bigger than a soviet dictator are considered more beautiful than Helen of Troy.

Yeah, I was thinking that throughout the whole movie. Michelle was conspicuously more attractive, yet everyone seemed to be throwing themselves at little miss caterpillar brows.

[Courtney]

I learned that in Los Angeles San Francisco, this is not considered beautiful:



but annoying bitchy teenagers with eyebrows bigger than a soviet dictator are considered more beautiful than Helen of Troy.

Yeah, I was thinking that throughout the whole movie. Michelle was conspicuously more attractive, yet everyone seemed to be throwing themselves at little miss caterpillar brows.

Me too!  I kept thinking "so, wait, why wasn't she cast as Lisa?"

[qlopp]

From seeing part of the movie via accidental Tivoing (I believe on cartoon network), and assuming the old memory hasn't failed, I learned that vodka and whiskey, when mixed together, constitute a mixed drink that not only is delicious but also gets you drunk before you start drinking it.

Whew, that was a damn lot of commas!

[dalem]

Me too!  I kept thinking "so, wait, why wasn't she cast as Lisa?"

Maybe she had standards?

-dale

[bettertomorrowamy]

Yeah, just maybe, she didn't want to take off her clothes and have a large slab of beef nuzzle his weiner against her belly button.

[Bob]

Yeah, just maybe, she didn't want to take off her clothes and have a large slab of beef nuzzle his weiner against her belly button.

I think this is both the right answer, and the cause of the throw up in my throat.

[RockSiren]

Oh hai movie discussion board,

I posted this on the sex scenes discussion, but I think he blocked the sex scenes atfer watching Underworld: Evolution.  Also I think Michelle was more attractive and Mark was hot (I actually did see Retro Puppet Master a number of years ago).  But dont worry about it!

Also, I learned that Lisa and all my gender are responsible for ruining men in general