Mad Max May- The Forum IRiff Project brought to you by Raven's Riffs.

[Moleman]

I was cracking up picturing this one from SJP clip 2: "0:43 - *Yosemite Sam* Ooh, you almost hit me, varmint!"

If you can do a decent Yosemite Sam that would be hilarious there.

[Raven]

Clip 3

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/nh9vV5XyP5w&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/nh9vV5XyP5w&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a>

[GregMcduck]

Clip 3:

0:05 - Yeah, I'm still not seeing anything I don't see on a daily basis on the New Jersey Turnpike.
0:23 - (as soccer mom) Well, it's the apocalypse, might as well j-walk.
0:26 - So, in the future, you're either a festering leather-fetish hell soldier, or you're a white middleclass yuppie.
0:32 - Hey, Waldo!
0:36 - (as baby) I'm getting the hell out of this movie.
0:43 - (laughs) This is like the Rube Goldberg of apocalypse movies.
1:14 - (as car) I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, I know I can...
2:05 - Great, now the road's gonna be covered in fishing magazines!
2:13 - (explosion noise)
2:17 - Great, now where is Superman gonna poop?
3:13 - (as lazy Max) Well, I guess I better go be a cop and all. Maybe first I'll swing by IGA and pick up some lettuce and some baby wipes. Hmm, I am a little hungry, maybe I'll drop by at a Denny's, get one of those breakfest steaks. Ok, so the store, then Denny's, and then some light cop work. Get back home, watch some Youtube videos...

[SJP]

First off, the ones I've liked so far:

2:24: The gaggle of lovers over the ridge (InvaderQuirk)
All Stephen Fry references.

Clip 3:
0:07 Congratulations, Mrs. Car, it's twins!
0:13 Geez, he never shuts UP!
0:23 Well, there WAS a Babies R Us here last week...
0:28 Going on vacation?  Visit beautiful Yucca Flats!
0:31 Uh-oh, Doctor Who's going to be pretty upset when he sees that...
0:38 Honey, did we have that trailer when we left?
0:42 A young Freddy Krueger chases his first victim.
0:47 Brought to you by Volvo.
0:55 NOT THE BEER!  NOOOOOOOOO!!!
1:03 Your blaspheming got us into this, you know.
1:24 *Back of car reads PURSUIT* Well, at least the car's going after its ambitions.
1:34 Thanks, but that guy already ran us over!
1:41 Oop, it's drifting to the left...
1:45 Can I watch?
1:47 Drive, Lola, Drive.
1:51 Twenty points for me.
2:05 It's Super Dave Osbourne!
2:08 Did I just repeat my line?
2:13 *Motorcycle lightly taps* Lucky that's not a Pinto.
2:18 My bloody TARDIS!
2:24 Ha ha ha!  Near death experiences!
2:36 Are cops in the future made out of kevlar?  How are they not sawed in half by now?
2:45 For the last time, my name is Kenneth!
2:53 Well, go on vacation.  Let a real man handle this. (alternate) Or a week in Detroit.
3:13 Now watch me EXPLODE!
3:29 And the Oakland Raiders prepare to cheat!

[Raven]

Here's clips 1, 2 and 3 unsquished.  If you write for this call it "Clip A"

Clip A

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/SpSFyCYor7Q&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/SpSFyCYor7Q&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a>

[Tripe H. Redux]

Clip A 0:23 "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" (cause you know the dramatic stab of music there)

I'll get me coat

[Darth Geek]

Ten minutes in and we haven't seen Mel Gibson yet. Why do we keep getting dramatic reveals of characters that don't matter?

[Raven]

Clip 4

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/7lcTfu5rUDk&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/7lcTfu5rUDk&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a>

[SJP]

EDIT: Forgot it here, too, CLIP 4:

0:22 (He knows who I am!) - Santa?
0:26 - If that's the case, shouldn't he be lying down and eating a hamburger?
0:33 - Well, last for softball, anyway.
0:39 - So, is this guy just gloves and sunglasses, or is there a body attached?
0:49 - That's right, road to freedom, step right up, a buck for three chances, win a bear for the young lady!
0:55 - Yes, Volvo gives you a smooth ride with less noise than any other brand.
0:57 - Eew, cooties!
1:03 - Am I crazy, or is he trying to intercept me?  Oh, that's right, it's both!
1:06 - John C. Reilly, extreme close up.
1:12 - I think I swallowed my gum!
1:20 - You have a rear view mirror, use it!
1:26 - It's my Dad, I'm not supposed to have the car!
1:28 - Film speed may vary.
1:35 - I just have these mood swings.
1:40 - *tsk tsk* All that road and he has to ride the bumper.
1:52 - *sobbing*I invested all our money in Fruit Roll Ups, they're just too delicious.
1:56 - And that's how little cars are made!
1:59 - *Very fast* Heyyouguystheraceisover...
2:02 - We have Semaphore in the Park up ahead!
2:06 - Oh, we made it, thank...ow!
2:14 - Duh, big car go up and fall down again!
2:18 - And KRZY ends its busy broadcast day.
2:21 *licks lips* - Smells delicious!
2:24 - And one car darkened the sky?  Crazy guys have a big carbon footprint.
2:28 - So I made this Annie Lennox head in art class, daddy.  What do you think?
2:35 - Got to admit, the kid plays invisible saxophone pretty darn well.
2:44 - I call it, "Rhapsody in New South Wales."
2:55 - No, Kenny G already set that record.
3:02 - Eew, no, no...oh, he's getting his head dried.

[Raven]

Clip 5

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/S7R-59xzmqM&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/S7R-59xzmqM&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a>

[SJP]

EDIT: Sorry I forgot this, CLIP 5:

0:07 - Garnier Fructis: for those three-day car trips.
0:12 - Well, at least it wasn't the wrong hook.
0:22 - By the way, you met my first husband, Frankenstein's Monster, didn't you?
0:28 - Mr. McGoohan is wanted for being 'unmutual.'
0:34 - I am the weatherman, dear.
0:39 - Killed lots of people, can't keep track.
0:43 - Well, got my shoes on, did I forget anything else?
0:51 - Visit the beautiful Islets of Langerhans!  No, wait...
0:54 - Hey, get Lethal Weapon 2 out of here!
0:58 - Orchestra, toast is ready!
1:04 - It's just not close enough to the beach!
1:14 - Always waddling and pooping everywhere.
1:19 - Oh, Max, you're trying to get me to trip over the baby, aren't you?
1:25 - Tell me the truth, dear, am I Ellen Sandweiss? <--A little obscure, Cheryl from the Evil Dead movies
1:30 - Don't make me buy you more flowers, I'm not made of them.
1:39 - No, I will NOT play "Plan 9" with you again.
1:46 - Hand over the Gerber's or I shoot the frog.
1:51 - You still have a mild 3-day car smell.
1:57 - Tor's coming with me, gonna scare that neighbor kid.
2:02 - Obi-Wan Kenobi's remains are taken as evidence.
2:10 - That's for horses, isn't it?
2:14 - Sign language for "Crazy Nose Lips?"
2:17 - "I...kissed...3 of...your friends."
2:22 - I'll never tell.
2:29 - Huh.  Never heard that, and I took three years of sign language courses.
2:33 - I hope he likes the tuna sandwich I packed.
2:38 - Oh, it's home of the telegram.
2:44 - That's nothing, try juggling snakes.
2:47 - Oop, found the razor blade.  <---Okay, okay, a little tasteless.
2:49 - Think you're ready for Ringling, eh?  Well, juggling's just the first step.  Next, we test your skill with the clown car, the flaming hoops of death, and then, you must face the dreaded Bearded Lady.
3:08 (dealing in petroleum by the main force) - Criminals are fine.

[Moleman]

Clip 3of31

0:09 - Blue Oyster bar here I come
0:14 - Lottle known fact, storms appear in a matter of seconds in Australia
0:19 - And cut....once again exellent
0:29 - Oh great now the storms gonna be a tornado....THANKS A LOT TRAILER!
0:35 - (after "What about") What about Howard Stern's wig?
0:41 - (after "Its uh...") Tasty!
0:48 - And after the first turn crazy man is in the lead followed closely by the village people *announcer voice
0:52 - Ope......dropped my gun
0:56 - this movie isn't very realistic....a van like that would have emptyed pounds of cocaine all over the freeway.
1:05 - On the bright side you've got a future as a clown now
1:09 - (after "...indicater on")That would be his middle finger right?
1:17 - Still runs better than my first car
1:23 - the most annoying sidekick since Chris Tucker
1:30 - (after "I'm gonna have him") for lunch (after he repeats it) for lunch
1:35 - ya stay off or we're gonna go backwards in time and run over you
1:42 - Five different scenaries hmmmm....
1:47 - Lelu Dallas?
1:52 - relax its the baby from the E-trade commercial hes smart enough to get out of the way.......guess not
1:59 - Today on Reno 9-1-1!!!!
2:06 - Come on the Blues Brothers had smarter cops then this
2:12 - (As the crazy man) Did you see that? haha......Hey lets you and I have kids..whatya say?
2:18 - Apparently the Hollow Man just pushed that over
2:24 - Ya I can't help you either
2:31 - Haha dumb cops......classic....*sarcasticly
2:40 - He keeps gawking at me!
2:45 - I beat on it, that should have fixed it
2:50 - (after SNAFU) Shiny new all for U?
2:58 - We need to get this cleaned up fast.......call CALTRANS!
3:03 - Guess which one I have
3:11 - Fuel of course slang for heroine
3:17 - I am a tampon in your tailpipe
3:25 - I'm gonna get that kkkkkkkkkkkknnnnigit
3:31 - An interceptor....from behind

Notes:
0:09 - Gay bar from Police Acedemy
0:29 - Old saying that trailer parks are tornado magnets
0:56 - When I was little blue vans like those were profiled by the police because they hid drugs well
1:05 - Clown car
1:47 - Fifth Element
2:24 - You the riffer are saying that
2:58 - Only Californias might get this but thats the roadside government employees we always see wearing orange and "on their break"
3:25 - said like Monty Python where John CLeese is the French guy


Clip 4of31

0:12 - No turn indicator...the other cops aren't going to like that
0:16 - and cut........once again
0:21 - The job killer?
0:26 - (after "knight rider")And you are my K.I.T.T.
0:35 - Now I know where Jeremiah Wright learned to preach
0:43 - Did he just say "harder"?
0:50 - You can take away my sanity, but you can never take away....MY FREEDOM!
1:01 - Geez he's going to have no tire left
1:08 - Ah I'm seeing myself in third person
1:13 - *hum knight rider theme
1:23 - Multeepass!
1:27 - These were my best trousers *crying
1:35 - I keep looking in the mirror and getting scared
1:40 - This has been one long bipolar disorder PSA
1:50 - *sobbing I am the...*sniff.....Knight rider....*sniff
2:00 - Bonzai!
2:10 - *while dying.....I am the knight......ri.......der.....*dies
2:14 - Wow thats how flaming I am!
2:26 - Cricket #1 - So Gemini...how you liken this movie so far?  Cricket #2 - Still better than Gepeto (sp?)
2:33 - Hey baby *like a come on
2:41 - *singing....this movie really blows, like a ....saxophone
2:51 - Bill Clinton would be proud...
2:59 - ...I mean look at that mouth.  I bet she gives great helmet
3:06 - 3 days of sex?  I think I'd be a little sore.

Notes:
0:21 - I have no idea what he said here
0:26 - from the original Knight Rider show with David Haselhoff
0:35 - If you want to keep politics out of this then just forget this one
0:50 - Braveheart referrence
1:13 - from the original Knight Rider show with David Haselhoff
1:23 - Lelu from Fifth Element
2:51 leads into 2:59...."great helmet" is from Spaceballs


Clip 5of31

0:14 - Is she a fish?
0:19 - But that's your arm
0:27 - Lou Dobbs the MONSTER Ahhhhhh
0:35 - Watching tv about others watching tv is always fun
0:46 - We now take you to an episode of Lost already in progress
0:54 - Professor Falken?
1:05 - *Singing.....Somewhere, out there, somewhere.....
1:14 - and that Maverick too...he's a jackass
1:20 - Their sons name is Coffee?
1:28 - Don't drink it..its poisoned....I can tell by the music
1:41 - No its my turn to roleplay tonight
1:47 - I'm sleezy......you know the lesser known female dwarf?
1:52 - (after "get out of here") My head.......seriously get out of my forehead
2:06 - *humming theme in Star Wars where Luke looks out at the three suns
2:15 through 2:24 - *as if reading the signs.......your crazy Mel....yours is about the size of any of these fingers....
2:31 (person on radio) zero-one....yah she's gonna die later...over
2:38 - Superman and Aquaman are still arguing who's the better superhero
2:49 - And now he has worms
2:57 - *singing....I get a round round round round I get around Yah get around round round I get around...I get around round rooooooooound
3:07 - You Senator Craig?

Notes:
0:14 - Sounds like she says she got a hook in her mouth
0:19 - As if he's referring to his "monster" if you catch my meaning
0:54 - from the movie Wargames
1:05 - From the Disney movie An American Tale with Fivel the mouse
1:14 - Top Gun
1:41 - As if that's how they get off as a couple...by roleplaying
1:47 - Snow White
2:49 - Worm in the apple.....yah ok its a stretch
2:57 - Beach Boys song
3:07 - Senater Larry Craig who had the whole foot under the stall secret code thing



Note for all my stuff: The stuff I write isn't intended to all by said in a single clip its just all the jokes I can possible come up with for that clip.  I think it would be impossible to say all these lines anyway fast enough and it would just be a clusterf#%k

[Raven]

Clip 6

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/T7uUXkesAh4&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/T7uUXkesAh4&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1</a>

I'll be catching up on my share after the 15th when my semester ends.  If I have some time between now and then I'll start to catch up.

[Moleman]

Clip 6of31

0:07 - There is no parking in the white zone
0:16 - So are they going to trek the entire garage?
0:24 - They just refer to Mel Gibson as "it"?
0:30 - I see they reverse engineered an X-Wing
0:36 - We're yelling for fun because the engine isn't that loud
0:44 - Whoa...... *Keanu Reeves style
0:46 - Suck...suck....suck...suck....
0:58 - Johnny Five...is alive!
1:05 - (after "okay") Who lit one?
1:08 - (after, how'd you get all this together") the script?.......yep it just kinda happened
1:16 - (after "piece from here, piece from there") *start naming off other movies this compares to
1:24 - Calling all Samurai's?
1:30 - Wow even Mr. Ed would say, "Dude you look like an ugly ass horse"
1:35 - Krusty the Clown off camera
1:38 - The plumber's going to have a hell of a time with this steamer
1:45 - Aren't you going to wash your hands
1:49 - They believe in witches...*cackle
1:56 - Well I'm off to join Shredder's ninja army....see ya
2:02 - He just call him a douche?
2:09 - wow lifelike hotwheels size people to go with the car
2:15 - *over the radio.....Michael Winslow, shut up....over
2:27 - Ran over the cameraman he's stuck to the front of the car
2:34 - (after "gt outta my way") Rosie O'Donnel's coming through here
2:43 - Must not have had insurance
2:52 - Did he actually do anything?
2:58 - I'm Irish for some reason......*Irish accent
3:04 - They heard about what you said....those Jews are relentless
3:13 - Who's a good boy, who's a good boy

Notes:
0:07 -  Airplane referrence
0:30 - The sound of the engine sounds like the X-wing taking off in Star Wars 4
0:46 - Spaceballs referrence
0:58 - Short Circuit referrence
1:16 - I'm too lazy to think of them right now
1:35 - He laughed almost like him from the Simpsons
1:49 - Looks like he's holding a broom and is going to ride it
1:56 - TMNT
2:15 - The guy who makes the sound effects with his mouth in police acedemy
2:52 - I can't remember, didn't he just ride up and then the guy exploded?
3:04 - Because of the controversy with him when he got drunk and said a few things......this joke is probably in poor taste, I don't know
3:13 - Like how you'd talk to a dog

[Hor-RIFF-ic Productions]

AHHHH!!!!  Seriously we're planning to participate as soon as we finish recording but this thing is just rolling like a juggernaut, a very funny one too.